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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 22 2014 : 09:22:11 AM
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Hello,
One of my continuing aims is to eliminate masturbation and solo orgasm. If anything is to happen, it is to be with a woman. This is kind of a necessary rule for me after a childhood and adolescence rife with pornography. Give an inch, and the old habits will want to take a mile (and all the joy out of life, too).
I am seeking holistic advice to maintain longer and longer periods without masturbation.
My current practice is 5 minutes SBP (with ujjayi breathing, mulabhanda and sambhavi), 15 minutes DM, ~3 minutes Samyama (1 repetition of each sutra), 15 minutes rest. On a good day I practice this twice daily. For time constraints or when it feels too much, I implement a 2 minute SBP, 6 minute DM, 8 minute rest session. I try to practice some combination of the above sits twice per day.
Since implementing mulabhanda and sambhavi a month ago, the urges to masturbate did drop off. Since having sex last week though, the dragon has woken again.
What dietary advice could be given here? I do eat meat, spices, grains, fruits, vegetables, dairy. Very rarely also eat sugary food like chocolates but this is not a common thing.
Any general advice and encouragement to help with abstinence is welcome. |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2014 : 11:30:49 AM
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Hey Jack (perfect name!)
I don't know your age, I suspect you're under thirty. I'm mid fifties and your practice and diet mirrors mine so I felt compelled to respond. I find playing with inciting arousal and drawing it up a good diversion. I haven't had overload but everyone's different. Treating yourself to an occasional orgasm is advisable too! |
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chinmayo
Finland
67 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2014 : 7:36:03 PM
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I have to say, that if you really want to lead brahmacharya lifestyle, in the non orgasm sense, you really need to eliminate porn and even masturbation without any mental or visual stimulation completely. The key to beat the long custom and habit is to cut the thought before it can form any "roots" into your mind. When the sexual thought comes it has to be cut off and ignored immediately. I have found out that if I remain to entertain the thought, even for a short moment, I will eventually find myself 'relapsing', if not the same day it will happen in the following few days.
The trap in giving oneself an occasional orgasm as a 'reward' is that when one has an orgasm there is a chaser effect which means the urge to have another one is stronger after each orgasm so it's a slippery slope.
So my advice would be not to have occasional orgasm and to dedicate yourself to it and even keep a journal if you are into that kinda thing. I had a 150+ day clean streak and rewarded myself with an orgasm, and after that I have not been able to get back into the same habit as I have lacked the willpower and motivation to really kick off the project again.
Blessed love,
Chinmayo |
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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2014 : 8:20:52 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by chinmayo
So my advice would be not to have occasional orgasm and to dedicate yourself to it and even keep a journal if you are into that kinda thing.
Blessed love,
Chinmayo
That's what I am undertaking, yes. Like I say - if I give my old habit an inch, it takes a mile.
Cutting the thought off at its root is what was working for me before. I had partner stay with me for a week, though, and had intercourse, and lost the discipline. Now masturbation and porn have both happened today.
Re-start time.
Any suggestions regarding pranayama, diet, etc. other supporting factors to add on top of the "Cut the thought at the root" mental approach. |
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kami
USA
921 Posts |
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adishivayogi
USA
197 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2014 : 12:01:40 PM
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1. sit in siddhasana during practices and for 15 mins before bed if possible.
2. avoid salty foods, meats,onions,garlic
3. get out of bed before 4 am
4. get the prana upwards(pranayama, breath retention, Uddhyana Bandha, Muladhara Bandha and Jaladhara Bandha.
5. control the mind. as spiritual practises become more condusive your energies will no longer be concentrated in the pelvis region. freedom occurs, then going there is a choice(or you can be nudged by surrounding thoughts). do not go back down there, it is not necessary.
6.dont lose determination, dont give into frustration(unless its the big give up, but you wont know lol)
you will have wet dreams, you will notice semen leaving you during urination. there are ways to get around these, but another question is it necessary?
if you have a lady you should practice tantric things. to avoid losing semen. bhramachrya in a meaningful sense does not have a whole lot todo with physically avoiding sexual stimulation(it can if you want it to though). it is the preservation and cultivation of fluids |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2014 : 2:59:58 PM
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Hi Jack
This is always an interesting topic for me, it is something I have struggled with also and I am probably a good deal older than you.
Sex can of course be an addiction like anything, but for me it is much more than that. It involves the need to connect with people and also involves the sexual energies in the body which can stay in the base area or rise in the body to various levels, depending on what is going on and how clear we happen to be at that time.
So, unlike say alcohol or drugs, sex has a whole range of beneficial aspects to it.
Whilst you can engage in trying to will yourself to try and not engage in sexual thoughts and seeing the thoughts you might divert your attention to something else, I would suggest you try something else which has worked for me very well.
I will tell you about a time I was on holidays in Croatia. Lying on a beautiful beach day after day and with a view of some incredibly beautiful bodies clad in very little.
This was initially driving me bonkers because I did not have a particular outlet for it.
So what I did was what you might call "introversion". I looked at a particular body, admired it, allowed the feelings in my body to be activated i.e. sexual energy.
Then deliberately took my attention away from the woman's body and concentrated on breathing up the sexual energy in my body. I could do this for a bit and then look at the woman again and activate some more energy and then take my attention inwards again and nurture the energy within.
It is important to stress that when the attention in brought inwards, that all thoughts of the object of desire are gone and the attention is fully on my own body.
I can assure you that after a few days of this practice I was in a completely different state. It was quite a beautiful internal state of balance and equilibrium.
That was many years ago but I still practice it from time to time and it always works for me. For instance, when at a yoga class if I find my attention on some attractive woman, thoughts start to develop and before I know it they have escalated into fantasies. This is common enough, I'm sure you will recognise it.
On seeing this happen, and indeed also recognising the associated tension in the body, I make a conscious choice to draw in all those thoughts and feelings and internalise them within me. This is my current practice and it leaves me both energised and more peaceful.
With sex then it is possible to shift an unhealthy outward focus on sex objects to a healthy internal one.
On another note, I am currently working with "shame". This is often associated with sex and the body and I am finding that as the shame is met within, experienced in the body and allowed to rest within "inner silence", that my relationship with sexual desires is changing. There seems to be a link between internal shame and desire, this is new ground for me so I can't go into much detail.
Hope that helps.
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2014 : 9:02:06 PM
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| Amen, Sparkle! You said it better than me! I no longer 'waste' orgasm, all for the cause, but my point is, when young, don't distress over the occasional milking. |
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Holistic advice to maintain Brahmacharya
