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FreeSoul
United Kingdom
1 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 21 2013 : 9:32:23 PM
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Hi @all, i'm new to aypsite, but have been lurking around for over 2 years, I have tried several times to quit ejaculating, but I think my motivation was never enough in the past. The longest i ever went in the past without ejaculation was probably 2 weeks, during the past 2 years, I've become aware that ejaculation drains your vital energy, but the process of quitting, is not an easy one to say the least, having masturbated since childhood, I believe it became an addiction that I didn't even realise was an addiction. I used to ejaculate atleast once a day, and never thought it to be a problem, everyone whom i've spoken to in the past seemed to think that was an acceptable frequency. Anyway, since the past 2 years I've been trying my best to reduce the frequency of ejaculation, I could sometimes go a week masturbating "edging" before I would succumb and blow my load so to speak, then it would be a daily thing again, and I would feel regret right after doing it, after doing so well for a week, i'd mess up and for the next 2 weeks I'd unintentionally ejaculate every day/2days. Well, i realise now that this was all a process, nothing was built overnight, and quitting ejaculation is no exception. Actually now I believe the main reason for my inability to give it up was because of my incessant need for internet porn. While I was able to fantasise, I found it much easier to watch porn, "less taxing on the brain i guess". Well now I know that phrase is not true at all, while it is easier to get horny after watching porn, I tended to look for that perfect porn scene that would send me into a "frenzy". I'd spend so long finding it that out of frustration I would ejaculate. I identified porn to be the issue over a year ago, but old habits die hard at times, especially ones that feel so good and that have been with you since childhood....
I decided 2 months ago that enough was enough, I was fed up of constantly "spilling my seed", and after browsing the internet for several hours regarding the adverse effects of internet porn, I decided whole heartedly that it was something I wanted to quit... You know I've been saying the same thing to myself for 2 years, and I always believed I was being whole hearted when saying it but, I believe that for some reason it took 2 years to finally "click".
It's now been 2 months, and I've not watched a single porn scene, nor have I ejaculated once. At first it was difficult to resist the urge. The first few days, I'd get random erections throughout the day, my body was telling me to masturbate, but I resisted. For 2 weeks I resisted, and just went to bed when normally I would masturbate. I believed that abstaining from masturbation for the first couple of weeks would be the best course of action so my body would become accustomed to not ejaculating. I then began to masturbate, but only when my body told me that it was something I wanted to do, eg when I had a random erection with sexual charge in my system. I don;t really even fantasise anymore because I believe that the prior effects of porn lead my mind to fantasise about situations or acts that I would not necessarily do in real life, so I masturbate for the pleasure without thinking of performing the act. Only I've noticed something, I don't seem to get horny anywhere near as often as the past.. perhaps this is a result of the lack of viewing porn, but while I will get very horny at times, things that would normally make me very horny, no longer do, and I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing... I do wish to maintain my sex drive, but I wish to keep that aspect of control over it. Perhaps my sex drive is something that will come back in time i'm not sure.. But either way I'm noticing that I have a greater control over my thoughts and actions in life. I'm assertive in many situations when before I would feel weak, I feel like I have the power to say or do or experience situations that I would perhaps not be comfortable with in the past. So I believe i'm for certain heading in the right direction, I'd just like to hear from those of you who have been though the process of quitting and perhaps let me know which way your sex drive eventually led to and how it affected your life in general.
I currently practice sending my sexual energy from the base through my spine, up to my forehead, and I feel the energy moving though and I feel it in my head, though I'm not exactly sure what this process achieves, probably it is the benefits i'm experiencing with my assertivness... Though i'm sure there is more to come, and hopefully my sex drive will improve too. I never had a problem with my sex drive when watching porn, infact it was probably over active, though it appears to have gone in the other direction for now, but as I said, it's probably the porn that was artificially inflating my sex drive when I would rather it be something that happens naturally..
Thankyou for listening, and hope to hear some good advice :)
Warm regards
Freesoul |
Edited by - FreeSoul on Sep 21 2013 9:47:15 PM |
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PastMorning
USA
16 Posts |
Posted - Sep 26 2013 : 8:47:14 PM
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I haven't masturbated for almost a year now. Haven't ejaculated in about 3-4 months at this point. Deep Meditation, Spinal Breathing, and no masturbation set me straight. At this time my sex drive is pretty intense, but in check with the help of meditation. Different people, different rhythms.
I wouldn't worry too much about your sex drive. With these practices it will come together as it should on the basis of your own individual path. I have no problems with ejaculating as long as it isn't under a level of short term impulsiveness. Don't get too attached to not ejaculating if it begins to cause drama within your situation. If you keep a flexibility about it, you'll be fine. |
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I quit Ejaculating and have questions please
