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Ananda
3115 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 27 2013 : 02:11:27 AM
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One day I had been in misery, I was confused, lost … I was looking for a reach, like everyone I was so curious, looking for books of mysteries… I was feeling oppression when I heard the states (H”al) of my brothers who are following the path of my master.. I was oppressed when I hear about the states of light of my peers, and my spouses (A’qran’) , and the wonders that was happening with them, I didn’t know envy thank Allah (H’amdulel’Allah), but I was dying in yearn, dying in broke, and in wilt because of the debility of my state (H”al) and my remoteness of the meaning, despite the fact that I knew my master in super natural conditions, my master came to me with a straight revelation many times before I knew him, but despite all of that I doubted the trueness of my master’s state many times during my path walking,..
This happened to me many times, I had a great love in him, may Allah saves him for my heart and in my heart, but despite the love, thoughts of doubt and whispers (Wa’sa’woss) were orbiting me sometimes in determined periods, that I was tested in them, I tasted everything the path walker tastes of dark periods, that seem to never pass, I stopped the Z”ikr for a long a Time..I entered the field of self and partisanship…I went back to Z”ikr..My state was cooler than before…like I am static.. Sometimes I long..Sometimes I cry..Sometimes I strive hard..Sometimes I weaken till I caught the string of the relief ! one day and after multiple disappointments, the relief happened! One day I “gave up” Fa’tah’* and arrival! One day, and without any readiness…I gave up interiorly and I induced fully in Fa’tah’! that day my joys started… that day my happiness started…that day I started walking not minding to where….I walked in my interior without waiting … that day I started enjoying the moment ..I started to ecstasy my Z”ikr …I was doing Z”ikr and not waiting for any thing, my recompense I was having in the now…I was doing Z”ikr because I loved Z”ikr..my recompense was being pleased by the Z”ikr itself, the repeating itself, and I started to dive deeply in the presence with Z”ikr and the word and moving my lips..And without self sensing, I loved Z”ikr , and I started practicing it in all times, in every moment and opportunity I could find , even when was standing talking to people..in all possible moments: I close my eyes and repeat, not wanting anything, not requesting any thing,..how beautiful Z”ikr is..that was my state, and that was the day earth was given permission to change.
The essence: do Z”ikr and practice the teaching without requesting anything…do Z”ikr and practice the practice for the practice itself, Z”ikr for Z”ikr itself…just because Z”ikr cleans the heart.. wipes the mind…and brings stillness , then if you remember Allah (Z”ikr of Allah), without an objective, and you are desperate with Fa’tah…Fa’tah happens….but to despair Fa’tah……..a long way of disappointments and chocks..and understanding .. to give up Fa’tah…you need Fa’tah
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*Fat’ah : opening, unfolding, unclosing…
Translated by one of my sufi brothers. |
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2013 : 2:13:12 PM
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Beautifully said as usual by Sidi Yacin.
However I speak for myself.My inner state is not synchronized with outside circumstances...Leaving me feeling beaten up & body aching.
from where Yacin is,this is beautiful!from where I am,it's time to give up zikr and practices & just go back to basic ...attention to attention & welcoming without judgement.That's my safe place to be when things go wild.
Salam. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2013 : 3:48:05 PM
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Imho even our safe place to be we will let go of. Self pacing has worked for me so far...
Love,
Ananda |
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Sidi Yacin on Practice
