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carriecarrie
USA
12 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 17 2013 : 12:40:31 PM
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This is going to be weird and people may not believe me, but I'm tired of worrying about whether people think I'm crazy or not. It happened,and I want answers.
I've been experiencing energy of all kinds,and mental weirdness of all kinds for the past three years. Kryas, some kind of kundlini awakening(or not, I don't know)
The most recent bizarre happening is what I'm going to suggest is a "spontaneous" kechari mudra.
I know littel about yoga or kundalini or chakras, just what I've experienced and read. I have no idea what's going on. I am very fustrated at this point.
this is what happened. I experienced what I believe was probably my third, fourth and fifth chakras "opening" over the past three years. These were distinct physical and mental experiences that I won't go into detail at the moment.
On the fifth of july, my throat chakra opened. It wasnt very intense.i did feel that my sixth would open on august 4th, like a premonition.
on august 4th, i started getting alot of energy coming into my feet from outside. The energy would pool in my feet until I let myself go into a trance state. It was very uncomfortable. I went into about ten trance states over the next day and a half.
when in trance state, there would be "kundalini" energy that would try to get into the top of my throat,at the back. it felt "concious" somehow. it would seem to send out tiny threads to feel around the top of my throat, like it was looking for a way to get in. sometimes, there would be a strong rush of energy that would slam into the top of my throat.
at some point in this day and a half experience, the top of my throat, literally opened up behind or above the soft palate. i could feel it happening, feel muscles pull tissue(or bone,cartilage,whatever is up there) until a hole of about maybe an inch and a half opened. it was uncomfortable and somewhat painful.
I think it was open for at least eight or ten hours, with the energy trying to get in. i was laying down in a trance state, a very deep one. i was feeling very blissful. i felt something drip from the top of my throat, probably from that had opened,and this liquid fell onto the back of my tong. there wasn't very much of it. it was cool, with a consistancy of a very liquidy gel. I had the "impression" that the liquid was clear with no color. it was NOT mucous or anything like that. it seemed to disperse somewhat into a gas that flowed over my tongue.
my tongue then started moving BY ITSELF. It felt around until it rested right behind my top teeth. then it started curling up backwards towards the back of my throat.
This is where I totally freaked out. I had read about kechari mudra, and was NOT going to have my tongue stick itself up behind my nasal cavity. This was extremely disturbing to me. It felt totally WRONG.
I sat up really quickly and walked around until the energy subsided. the hole closed about an hour later, after I was arguing in my own mind that I would absolutely NEVER let this happen.
It felt like a test.
that's it. No energy AT ALL sinse the night this happened,and I have been going in to trances and feeling kundalini for the past three years. Now nothing.
I can't decide if I past this "test" or not. maybe I will never reach enlightenment because i won't do this. that doesn't make me happy, but I simply won't do this thing for enlightenment if this is what it takes.
has anyone had even slightly similar experience? i can't find ANYTHING similar in books or on the internet. i know I'm not crazy. |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2013 : 7:07:48 PM
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Hi Carrie!
No one is going to think you are crazy. Spontaneous kechari happens. There's lots of info here and in the main lessons. I would suggest you look up the nectar cycle, sounds like part of your experience.
It's okay to stop when we aren't comfortable with what is happening. Please don't feel like you failed. It is part of self-pacing. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2013 : 7:49:53 PM
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Hi carriecarrie,
Welcome to the AYP forums! 
I agree with lalow33, I don't think you are crazy. Energy happens.  And is not a requirement (kechari or any of the other extreme experiences) for enlightenment. What you describe are symptoms of purification.
I guess you don't do any practices?
Kundalini awakening is a gift from the divine, what we do with it is our choice.
If you'd be interested you can read a few of the lessons here http://www.aypsite.org/10.html
Some meditation and spinal breathing will help bring the severe symptoms under control, and help your openings become smoother... but like I said its your choice.
Wish you all the best!
And again, no you are not crazy, many here have experienced some or all of what you have written.
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carriecarrie
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2013 : 7:58:37 PM
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| No I don't do any practices as far as I can tell. I tried pranayama breathing a few times, but that is one of the things that instigated all this I think. messing with stuff I don't know anything about.I've read some though. I meditate and let my fingers and body fall into mudras or positions that feel natural. Sometimes my fingers just go into positions on their own. |
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carriecarrie
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2013 : 10:09:34 PM
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| spiritual puberty? is that what this is about? |
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carriecarrie
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2013 : 10:24:07 PM
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| i decided to do it. let it happen anyway. once i decided it, it happened almost immediately. the liquid dripped down. It seems like this "animates" the tonnge. It didn't just effect the tongue. cheeks, lips, muscles in my mouth and throat. My jaw moved back, lowered while my tongue rolled backwards along the roof of my mouth. it took a couple of tries and some exploration. i just let it happene, i didn't do anything. i felt like i could stop it any time.my tongue was pushing really hard upwards sometimes. right before the end of the exploration, my tongue turned sideways and went up, ant the tip of it kind of rubbed back and forth, like six or eight times on some bone or hard spot up in there. then i felt like it was done, or at least done with the beginning. it feels like there is going to be more to it. but i said"no more of that,im not ready" at the end, i felt a strong need to lay with my feet crossed and my hands clasped on top of my head. i felt like ther was a line of energy from my left heel to my hands. my eyes also rolled around under my lids at one point. this is when i started getting uncomfortable emotionally again,and stopped. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2013 : 10:28:00 PM
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Could be.
I am not very sure how to guide you. It seems like you have made up your mind on certain things and yet a part of you is very curious what can happen with this gift.
An awakening like yours is a step into spirituality. But if you are not in a structured practice, not necessarily AYP, but some kind of structured practice you will be pulled around by these energies and not know what's going on.
When you do some form of meditation like deep meditation http://www.aypsite.org/13.html and get in touch with your inner silence (god, Ishta, inner guru, intuition or whatever else you want to call it) you will be guided toward what you can do with the gift given to you.
It seems like you have read up a lot but, knowledge can be confusing if not experienced, once experienced in stillness, it becomes a knowing. Then we can let the doubts drop and allow our gift to manifest itself.
You say you want answers, how about you tell us what you are expecting? You say you don't want any of this. So now that it has all stopped you are asking questions here? So I am not 100% if you want us to help you understand what is going on, which you kinda seem to already know... well you know all the lingo ... or are you asking us to help you figure out how to harness these openings or are you asking us a way to tell you how to make this not come back?
Not trying to be mean, just trying to understand how we can help you best. |
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carriecarrie
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2013 : 10:36:35 PM
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| what comes after this? |
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carriecarrie
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2013 : 11:02:01 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
Could be.
I am not very sure how to guide you. It seems like you have made up your mind on certain things and yet a part of you is very curious what can happen with this gift.
An awakening like yours is a step into spirituality. But if you are not in a structured practice, not necessarily AYP, but some kind of structured practice you will be pulled around by these energies and not know what's going on.
When you do some form of meditation like deep meditation http://www.aypsite.org/13.html and get in touch with your inner silence (god, Ishta, inner guru, intuition or whatever else you want to call it) you will be guided toward what you can do with the gift given to you.
It seems like you have read up a lot but, knowledge can be confusing if not experienced, once experienced in stillness, it becomes a knowing. Then we can let the doubts drop and allow our gift to manifest itself.
You say you want answers, how about you tell us what you are expecting? You say you don't want any of this. So now that it has all stopped you are asking questions here? So I am not 100% if you want us to help you understand what is going on, which you kinda seem to already know... well you know all the lingo ... or are you asking us to help you figure out how to harness these openings or are you asking us a way to tell you how to make this not come back?
Not trying to be mean, just trying to understand how we can help you best.
I am ambivilant about the whole thing. I am constantly going back and forth on whether i want to be experiencing these things or not. another part of me feels that it's just a natural process,and it'll just happen when im ready. so far that seems to be the case. like you cant stop puberty or childbirth. i DO need guidance,as much as possible. I don't even know where to start. I know some of it,am surprzed by others, like the kechari,and the fact that this process involves the transmutation(or whatever) of sexual energy. at the same time,it feels more and more natural as it goes along. it has been going VERY fast in the last five weeks or so. very fast,almost like it's being hurried. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2013 : 09:55:49 AM
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I feel you have been blessed. People work for years and don't have what you have.
But you have to decide if you want to be a victim and let the energy have it's way or you want to be able to have a role in this partnership.
Take a look at this post : http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=7653#67740
1. Kundalini awakening is a partnership between ourselves and the divine. Have you taken ownership of your role in this partnership, or do you consider yourself to be a victim in it?
Once you know what you want, and if you'd like to have some direction in whatever is going on, I really recommend you read the lessons from here: http://www.aypsite.org/10.html
I would suggest doing some deep meditation for a few weeks and then starting spinal breathing, but just a couple of rounds of it (not 10 min to start with as you said it made your symptoms worse the prev time). Once you have more access to inner silence, all these inner conflicts you are experiencing will sort themselves out.
You don't have to follow AYP. If there is another system (that will include some form of meditation) that you feel drawn to or comfortable with, please go ahead with that. But do try to get into a structured practice.
Thank you for your posts. And thank you for reading the replies.
Much Love!
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carriecarrie
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2013 : 4:57:46 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
I feel you have been blessed. People work for years and don't have what you have.
But you have to decide if you want to be a victim and let the energy have it's way or you want to be able to have a role in this partnership.
Take a look at this post : http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=7653#67740
1. Kundalini awakening is a partnership between ourselves and the divine. Have you taken ownership of your role in this partnership, or do you consider yourself to be a victim in it?
Once you know what you want, and if you'd like to have some direction in whatever is going on, I really recommend you read the lessons from here: http://www.aypsite.org/10.html
I would suggest doing some deep meditation for a few weeks and then starting spinal breathing, but just a couple of rounds of it (not 10 min to start with as you said it made your symptoms worse the prev time). Once you have more access to inner silence, all these inner conflicts you are experiencing will sort themselves out.
You don't have to follow AYP. If there is another system (that will include some form of meditation) that you feel drawn to or comfortable with, please go ahead with that. But do try to get into a structured practice.
Thank you for your posts. And thank you for reading the replies.
Much Love!
Thaks for your reply. It's a lot to think about. I am beginning to feel quite a bit differetn about this whole experience. Daily even. It seems to be something totally different from what I expected. It's heading uphill instead of down. I've been reading the lessons and exploring this website. I came here first just because I stumbled across the forum, but there is a lot here that I've never heard of before. Lot's to think about and learn here I think. |
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carriecarrie
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2013 : 10:34:53 PM
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| note: I tried kechari today with no results. I couldn't even get to stage 2. My tongue is normal length, frenum normal length. I think kechari would be extremely difficult to do with out the trance state I was in a couple days ago. Or was it yesterday? I can't remember. I think you NEED the deep trance state, with the liquid that drips down. It seems to animate the whole mouth, thonge, throat, jaw muscles. They all worked together to get my tonge up there. I was also in this same state when i did the eye rolling thing. I have a suspicion that things would get real interesting if i was in kechari and rolled my eyes up at the same time. I haven't yet today had any indication that this will happen again any time soon. I may have used up all of my energy ar something. or maybe i have to wait till i produce more of the liquid. |
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carriecarrie
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2013 : 12:50:35 AM
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| Interesting experience tonight. I sat down to meditate, but then felt like laying down, so I did. This time, the energy was coming in through my right foot, which is unusual. I felt the energy come up, through the leg,through the body. I felt stinging,like the energy was in a channel it isn't normally in. my leg would shake briefly every 10 seconds or so. I would feel a rush of energy each time it did this. my left hand went into a new mudra, but not my right. started to go into kechari mudra, but this time, the tongue just wanted to go straight up, just pushed upward really hard,for like three or four minutes. It hurt more than i liked so i stopped. then my tongue stretche out straingh, like it felt like it wanted to stick out of my mouth, stuck out an inch orso, came back in and curled back in front of my lower teeth. then i was done. when it's done, i just feel a release of energy. i was in a pretty deep trance, with my eyes open which is unusual for me. now i just have a lot of pressure in my forhead and i feel slightly nauseous. tongue keeps resting right behind the top teeth, but i need a break so im going to walk around and try to dispell the energy a bit. |
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carriecarrie
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2013 : 7:10:46 PM
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| first one side,and then the other. The circuit is complete. left then right |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2013 : 10:38:14 PM
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carriecarrie
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2013 : 03:02:06 AM
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| You only have to do kechari sucessfully twice, one for the left,and once for the right. Then your body actvates all of your unused nadis with your tongue and teeth(my tongue would touch certain teeth or my teeth would bite down,and corresponding energy channels would open or activate). This took about three hours and was painful. My sixth chakra is opened but I feel very tired and a little drugged feeling right now. |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1553 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2013 : 07:08:38 AM
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Dear Carrie,
It is very easy to overload on these energies and end up having a miserable, frightening time - I do not mean to scare you, as when 'managed' there is nothing to be fearful of, but as a word of caution. Please read up the Kundalini threads on this forum. And as Shanti has pointed out decide what you want to do with this gift.
I wish you the very best 
Sey |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2013 : 08:17:42 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by carriecarrie
You only have to do kechari sucessfully twice, one for the left,and once for the right. Then your body actvates all of your unused nadis with your tongue and teeth(my tongue would touch certain teeth or my teeth would bite down,and corresponding energy channels would open or activate). This took about three hours and was painful. My sixth chakra is opened but I feel very tired and a little drugged feeling right now.
That is my experience as well, kechari completes a circuit.
These can be completed without kechari as well in time though.
Tired and drugged, yes... those are the effects of high levels of amrita. http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=7448
Hope you will do something to ground a bit.
Wish you the best! |
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spontaneous kechari?
