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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 07 2013 : 8:56:22 PM
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I'm a mother to a young toddler and also work full time. As such, I don't have time to sit for twice daily meditation. I make sure to sit atleast once a day for 20 mins. I don't have a set time- it could be 10 a.m, 4 p.m i.e whenever I get the time to sneak in the practice. I tried doing 10 min in the morning and 10 min at night but it's tough to do it consistently. Do you think this is good enough or do I need to sit for 20 mins twice daily?
I don't like mediating after sunset or before sunrise. I have this strange fear of dark  . What do I need to do to get rid of this fear? |
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lmaher22
USA
217 Posts |
Posted - Jan 07 2013 : 10:09:13 PM
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| Hi Sunyata, like everything else fear is fleeting and if you're doing Yoga and meditation to lessen it you're on the right path. I would guess the 'universe' like the members here would understand that a young mother with a full time job is lucky to have enough time to look in the mirror, meaning of course, that whatever steps you take, no matter how small, will always be benefiticial even if 'great leaps' take a bit longer. I believe the more advanced people here would say quality over quantity any day. What I mean to say is, even if you could only manage a half minute somedays, more important is the daily habituation of the practice into your life. That's the way I was taught to believe it anyway. For the sake of you and your young and growing family I hope your practice continues with regularity, someday grounding you to a calmer life. Who knows? Do the best you can and try not to judge yourself too harshly. |
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AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - Jan 07 2013 : 11:13:49 PM
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hi Sunyata,
first sentence coming to mind is right from the lessons: where there is a will, there is a way. To me that doesn't imply the use of force (strain), but a letting go (samyama) of the very real possibility that you can invite those 20 minutes whenever they happen to land, and dedicate them to yourself and your practice. Sometimes adding this to an already full schedule might actually help it along, as the inner silence can permeate all the activities so they can be accomplished with greater ease.
About fear of the dark, lmaher wrote exactly what I was thinking, that deep meditation helps uncover those reactions that otherwise reinforce and perpetuate themselves by trying to remaining hidden out of our awareness and inquiry. Sometimes when I do my routine in the evening, because of shorter daylight in winter, I pull the blinds down and turn on a lamp. That way, I don't get left in the dark when the time is up, and I'm not visible from the outside. Sometimes I don't do this, and do get left in the dark, but hardly notice the transition, if at all.
Good luck with your routine. |
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Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - Jan 07 2013 : 11:31:30 PM
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Hi sunyata,
just practice and don't worry. 2x10min or 1x20min both are good. Better than no practice anyway :)
With time you will find the optimum amounts for you.
Happy practicing =) |
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kami
USA
921 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2013 : 09:19:56 AM
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Hi Sunyata,
Welcome to the forums!
Already great advice here from others. I can relate, as I have young children, a demanding career with a very busy schedule, and a husband with a demanding career with an even busier schedule.. Plus I'm super-nutty about preparing three fresh meals daily and keeping a spotless home 
My kids were toddlers when I took up practices (they are older now), and the way I worked around it is to wake up very early. It has since become a habit to rise between 4:30-5 AM so I can meditate, work out, and finish cooking breakfast and lunch before everyone else stirs and chaos ensues. When my kids were very little and would wake up often, I would just sit in their room to practice - this calmed them knowing I was near. Even now, I do my (sporadic) evening practices in their room while they are falling asleep. Things have changed for me over the years where most activities like cooking, driving, working, etc are meditative, and I no longer feel like I'm "missing out" on formal sitting practices.
Like you, I too have had a fear of the dark, a fear I was forced to face during my training years(physician).. My heart would be in my mouth walking through empty and pitch dark hospital parking lots/structures while on call, and I would fret thinking what I would do if my car broke down on a lonely street in the middle of the night.. I would also be uncomfortable staying alone at home after nightfall. However, gradually and over the years, the fear has subsided and I hardly notice such things anymore..
Inner silence is *the* antidote to all fears. Once it takes over, there is systematic and total overhaul of who we think we are. And practices are necessary for most of us to cultivate it. All we need to do is prioritize, commit some time, and be ready for miracles 
Wishing you the best!
Love,
kami |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2013 : 8:41:08 PM
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lmaher22- Thank you for your kind advice. You indeed understand my present life completely. There are not enough hours in a day :). I will continue to practice daily.
AumNaturel- Yes, I do feel the inner silence/peace after the 20 mins meditation. I have slowly started to feel the fear going away but I still have a long way to go. I can't wait to be able to not notice the difference between day and night. Thank you for the great advice.
Thanks, Holy.
Kami-Ditto!! on the fear of dark. You wrote down exactly how I feel.
I have been thinking lately about waking up before everyone at 5 a.m to do my mediation and workout. But was waiting to see if once a day mediation would take away the fear and then I would be able to meditate at that time. May be I just need to dive in. Hope someday I'll be able to reach where you are. You impressed me with all that you do for your family while keeping a demanding job. Thank You for such a great advice.
Sunyata
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kami
USA
921 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2013 : 06:19:22 AM
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Hi Sunyata,
You're welcome, and thank you for the kind words. Just wanted to clarify this - I have not experimented walking around alone in the dark to see if it would bother me There is less fear because I am less concerned about underlying thoughts of what might happen. Inner silence and openings lead one to live more and more in the present moment, without dwelling on the past or imagined future.
The process of surrendering to that all encompassing wisdom and trusting it is an ongoing one.. And increasingly more and more joyful.
Much love to you 
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2013 : 7:51:44 PM
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quote:
I have not experimented walking around alone in the dark to see if it would bother me
LOL
All the results that yogani and forum members have mentioned just makes my bhakti stronger. It helps me enjoy
this journey.
Sunyata |
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My practice- Please give me your input
