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vulpi
USA
1 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 11 2012 : 07:58:45 AM
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Hello all, new to the forum.
I had an experience back in April that I've never been sure how to classify. To give some background I was meditating ~4 times a week on average for a couple years. I kind of just improvised a meditation that involved basic yogic breathing and spreading throughout my body this energy I would feel generated from my heart and also both hemispheres of the brain that would shoot down like electricity. I just focused on the breath, the energy, and the positive feelings, so maybe this was more pranayama than meditation. I didn't really know what I was doing, but it felt good and helped me bring in a calm mood to work.
I was also working with crystals for about a year, which I enjoy since I've always been sensitive to subtle energy. In February I began carrying a piece of Moldavite in my pocket everyday just to see if it would live up to the hype. Aside from making me feel very spacey I began to notice that my ears started to ring more and more frequently as the weeks went on. I also began noticing the numbers 11:11 and 111 were increasingly showing up in my reality. This was also a time in my life where I was feeling pretty lost. A week before I had the experience I had one of those heart-felt talks with God. I said I didn't really have any personal ambitions anymore other than how I could best be of service as none of my plans were working out in life. Around this time I decided to pick my AYP book up again and start working with it in earnest.
A week later under a full moon something happened. I was sitting at the computer when a palpable low frequency hum hit my left ear. I instantly felt nauseous and folded over into my lap. The hum then gradually rose in pitch and as it did the nausea faded and it was almost as if the sound itself sat me up straight. Once the sound was in the higher register it really began to sing and I saw what looked like a sine wave divide itself in two so that I could now hear the ringing in both ears. The sound then very quickly rose to an almost inaudible frequency and that's when my body was gently flooded with this electric-loving energy. My breathing became very heavy. The boundaries of my body no longer felt like they separated me from my surroundings. I also came to some important realizations and epiphanies. I could feel there were other presences in the room sending me positive energy.
I didn't really notice anything coming from the spine, however. The energy filled me instantaneously and felt like it just came from everywhere at once. While there was an element of intensity I would say it was relatively mild compared to many accounts of awakening I've read about. It certainly didn't feel like a freight train or anything to be terrified of.
The post-symptoms of this event are many. Circumstances converged to make me quit my job and I seem to dread situations that involve unfamiliar people. I suppose the most disabling thing is wanting to isolate myself so much. I notice I am left with a constant ringing in my ears, which I'm guessing is dibba-sota or any number of terms this has been called. I gradually transitioned to a vegetarian diet after 4 weeks, although now that it's cold my body seems to want a little chicken and fish again. Cooked food in general tends to make me tired, but a lot of times I don't have a choice here. Sleep patterns and energy levels are hard to keep consistent. I do feel like I'm going through lots of clearing work, especially when bouts of anxiety or depression hit. Sometimes my perception of reality looks to be "enhanced", like I'm in a dream or a piece of art. I also began seeing things in my inner vision, mostly strange looking people, but sometimes animals or landscapes as well. On and off I notice activity in my peripheral vision. I've had some instances of waking up and feeling negative entities attached to me.
I do asanas, the 5 Tibetan rites, spinal breathing and deep meditation every day or every other day on some weeks. I do notice internal psychological pressure and confusion accumulates if I take more than two days off.
Did I have a Kundalini awakening experience or am I going through some precursor stage? I know there is a general trend of awakening going on involving the items I've mentioned and not all seem to be K related. It seems when I hear or read of other accounts of awakening they all seem to be so much more dramatic. I've not experienced anything extremely painful or blissful. Only on one occasion since the event have I felt electricity shoot up my spine, and when it did it made me feel like I was on the verge of an out of body experience (I've had spontaneous ones in the past). I don't feel my adrenals are running on overdrive or excessive body heat or abnormal appetite. It's all a bit underwhelming given Kundalini's reputation, but perhaps I've built up too much of an expectation? I'm getting ready to explain to my family what's been going on with me, but I'd like to be sure what I'm conveying is accurate. If it is Kundalini then that would give some meat to my explanation as that is something they could research and sate the temptation to simply call me mad.
I appreciate any insight or suggestions to follow regarding my situation. Many thanks in advance! |
Edited by - vulpi on Dec 11 2012 08:00:01 AM |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2012 : 09:45:45 AM
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Hi vulpi,
Welcome to the forum 
All I have to say is that it sounds like a good place to be, and yes it sounds like a certain opening or awakening for sure.
What you are doing is good, continue with sbp and dm with self pacing and the awakening will continue and become smoother. It is great that it is that gentle for you, you wouldn't want to be where it is a strong and abrupt awakening, believe me .
I am not sure if it is K. it could be related and you will know if it is K. the energy going up the spine or any kind of ecstatic sensation in the body is K.
Enjoy!
P.S. if you would like to talk with someone about your experiences I am open, you can email me. I'd love to be of any assistance with it.
Much Love and be well. |
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Gentle awakening?
