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karunapod
Venezuela
2 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 08 2012 : 2:31:20 PM
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Dear Yogani...
In 1973, I was initiated into T.M. and meditated with that mantra for nearly 2 years. I then lived with Baba Muktananda for one year starting in 1975 and during that time, I was initiated into Om Namah Shivaya mantra. I really took to it...never missed meditation in a.m. and p.m....constant japa “round the clock”...never went anywhere without my mala...slept with it under my pillow etc. for the next 12 years.
I then met Mata Amritanandamayi (Ammachi), who proceeded to place a bij mantra into “my” Om Namah Shivaya mantra; at which point I was told...”Keep going”. I continued with nearly the same fervor for the next 7 years, after which my meditation settled into a 2x a day process and less japa.
The only other form of meditation that has really seized me, has been Vipassana, and during a 3.5 year period, I sat 6 hours a day and 12 hours each Saturday. I also practiced dhyan under the guidance of Sri Shivabala Yogi for 3 years.
My spiritual study has been very broad and eclectic and has included contact with many teachers and masters. Also, I trained as a spiritually oriented psychotherapist in the early seventies...practiced for 30 years...was ordained as a non denominational minister in 1992 and started and facilitated for 14 years a residential community dedicated to peace on earth through ending the war within.
So!
Please know that I share and ask the following with a totally open mind and heart as well as a deep appreciation for all that I have read at AYP and also a deep appreciation for how the information and guidance is expressed here.
In all the years (25) that I have worked with my mantra, especially since Ammachi placed the bij mantra into it, I have never felt as if I was going very deep with it. To be graphic about it, meditation feels like... Om...Bonk...Namah...Shivaya. Whenever it’s time to repeat the bij mantra, it feels unnatural...interruptive of flow etc.
I do feel deeply grateful regarding the overall expansion of consciousness that has occurred during this time, however, in terms of attaining any real, consistent, transcendental experience during meditation... bliss...kundalini...etc., I have experienced very little.
Over the last two weeks, I have explored 2x a day meditation with IAM mantra. I have really enjoyed the experience and the mantra felt immediately comfortable and familiar.
Here are my concerns:
A line I have heard for decades is...”You have been digging a hole in one place for decades...are you sure you want to start digging a fresh one?”
A line that kind of accompanies the first line is...”Give a mantra to an Indian and they will come back 20 years later and tell you their experience but give a mantra to a Westerner and they will come back 6 months later and ask for a different one because nothing happened.”
Does being initiated into a mantra provide something that using a mantra that one has not been initiated into can’t?
Since I don’t have the capacity to see the effects of my mantra practice on my chakras, nadis, karmas, etc...how should I evaluate my statement: “I have experienced very little”?
I am wary of using moments of phenomenon like a moment of bliss as any indication of “progress” or that a mantra is “right for me”. For all I know, maybe “experiencing very little is just the right impact on this particular soul.
Finally, the consideration of the IAM mantra has caused me to wonder something... if enlightenment is one’s top priority, sadhana has been a core daily focus for decades, and no problems with commitment, perseverance, etc....then is one actually switching or really changing anything if one chooses to use a different mantra after practicing with one for 37 years?
Thank you in advance for your comments. |
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yogani
USA
5201 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2012 : 3:46:18 PM
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Hi Karunapod, and welcome!
It is always a pleasure when long-time experienced practitioners like yourself stop by.
We use that "digging a hole in one place..." analogy in AYP also. It is often best to keep digging for water right where we are, rather than start too many new holes. 
With AYP being an "open resource," practitioners may be more prone to experiment, and that is fine as long as the experiments are not done at the expense of long term stable practice and progress. Of course, sometimes change is warranted, but only the practitioner can know for sure. These two lessons cover the AYP point of view on what path to follow, and following a baseline system of practice, with or without modifications:
Lesson 19 - What tradition to follow?
Lesson 384 - Baseline Systems of Practice and Research on Modifications
So, I can't really tell you whether to switch to the AYP mantra. It may not make much difference in your case, since you have been meditating for so long already.
However, what might make a difference in digging deeper into the AYP writings could be additional methods included for cultivating ecstatic conductivity/radiance and joining that with the abiding inner silence you already have, leading to continuing development on your path. Of particular interest in your case might be samyama, which moves stillness from the bliss/witness state into fuller expression as outpouring divine love, or "stillness in action," as we sometimes call it. This leads to a greater natural tendency to engage in non-dual self-inquiry, which AYP covers in the later writings. It also leads naturally to deeper engagement in karma yoga (service), which you are obviously well familiar with already.
So for someone at your level of experience, I would point to those methods to cultivate more advanced stages of development, moving forward from where you are. It may be time for that. It is your call, of course.
Regarding the subjective experience of not "going deep" during meditation, at AYP we always point to the fact that experiences during meditation can be anything depending on the process of purification that is occurring. A subjectively deep sitting is not necessarily more effective than a sitting that is not subjectively deep. In either case the work is being done by consistently using the technique of meditation day after day, year after year. The true test of our meditation is in how our life is affected during normal daily activity. If life is getting better, our meditation is working. You did give the 20++ years accounting on that, and it sounds very good, so your meditation has been working well.
On the power of initiation, there is surely something in it, just as there is something in darshan and shaktipat. In any of these, it is the receptivity of the practitioner that determines the effect. In AYP we talk a lot about "the guru in you." Also, these days there is a significant amount of energy that is being transmitted by the worldwide community of practitioners, and the writings themselves. So there is a palpable unstructured global initiation going on all the time that many can access within themselves, and it is accelerating. See this lesson on the "global web of awakening": http://www.aypsite.org/332.html
No doubt, there will be some who are inclined to seek out traditional initiation and hands-on instruction in the physical world, and this is very good. As an open resource, AYP is more for those who have an intuitive sense of these divine processes already occurring within them, and it seems to be working for many that way. Each must decide what will be the best course for them.
In summary, while AYP is a non-traditonal approach, a full-scope open resource, it does seem to be helping many who are ready to proceed with their spiritual practices in a self-directed manner. It is for you to decide to what extent it can be helpful in your case.
I wish you all the best on your continuing path. Enjoy!
The guru is in you.
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mikkiji
USA
219 Posts |
Posted - Dec 21 2012 : 4:20:30 PM
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I would have to agree with Yogani, and we've spoken of these issues before. I practiced Zen meditation from 1970-72, and then I was initiated into TM in 1973, same as you, Karunapod, and used that mantra until I was given my first mantra enhancement by Maharishi in 1976, at the conclusion of my TM Teacher Training. As a TM Initiator, I did learn all of those mantras, but continued to use what Maharishi gave me--and I use it still to this day! When I got hooked into AYP about 5 years ago, I noted that the "I Am" mantra is virtually identical to one of the TM mantras we use. I never did use "I AM", having dug quite deeply in my own hole, and even though I have studied and practiced Vedic and Zen techniques and theories extensively, I still find the entire AYP knowledge base to be extremely valuable and practical. It's ALL good, but like any buffet, you will pick what you like and stick with that, perhaps tasting some new things and liking or not liking various other practices.
Maharishi himself used to tell us to not mind the specific experiences during any particular meditation, good, bad or indifferent, but to evaluate the success of our practices only by results in activity. Is life good? Are relationships positive? Are we happy, hopeful, helpful? Is work joyous? If yes, then our practices are having the desired effect, regardless of how "deep" or blissful we may feel during the practice. Seems like in general you answer yes to most and so I say stay the course, but DO browse through the lessons and try out some new things, adding only one at a time so that you can see what effects each addition has. Keep what works, what feels right.
Namaste,
Michael |
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lmaher22
USA
217 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2013 : 9:59:02 PM
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Man it's nice to hear logic from 'heavy weights'. I really admire you guys for talking so openly and candidly. I've meditated on and off (mostly off) for 25 years but didn't get serious till three years ago and even more serious when I found this site. It's nice to hear Yogani state exactly what I always felt, that I was better off (for me only) mostly on my own but with some great external guide as this to keep me on track. Of course, nothing like this existed thirty years ago, and hell, I probably wouldn't have tried it anyway. My point is, if I have one, that it's nice to hear that meditation can be just what I wanted it to be: a place for greater peace and mental health. Sure I'd love to be enlightened someday but if I have to settle for just peace, more serenity and whole lot less fear, that's just fine.
Thank you all.
L |
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mikkiji
USA
219 Posts |
Posted - Jan 15 2013 : 10:58:40 PM
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L--if you ask me, what you have to "settle for"--"just peace, more serenity and whole lot less fear" seems a lot like the rising of consciousness toward awakening, so does not much matter what we call it, it's all still good!
Michael |
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Mantras: to change or not to change...
