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vulcanraven188
USA
1 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 06 2012 : 2:35:03 PM
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Hi all,
I know I wrote a lot but it'd mean a lot to me if you'd read and respond. I stumbled upon your yoga from isha's inner engineering, and i'm very confused.
I have always been into creative projects, was a musician, and really liked comedy and laughter. I had always been very easy going, happy, open minded, down to earth, and had a lot of creative ideas that always just came to me. Also, I was very self confident and lived my life peacefully without worrying about how others looked at me. Everything I did naturally just came easy.
I started working a new job 2 years back with a bunch of engineers, and I feel like it totally threw my life out of whack. It was stressful/demanding, the people were arrogant, and they were very quick to attack you/your work and put you down. The whole environment/work was very left brained and lacked any humanness to it. I felt my personality was changing for the worse as I slowly became more angry, more arrogant, more concerned about doing good work/proving myself/etc. I really lost the natural happiness that i used to have. I quit the job because I didn't like it, and now i'm working on my own as a musician/comedy writer and doing some other projects. The problem is nothing is the same as when i used to do things. I'm full of self doubt and find myself constantly saying "I can't do this or that", and my creative ideas don't come to me anymore. I feel like i've lost my own happy personality, and i have these new thoughts in my head about having to have good work so i can show people my work and be accomplished and feed an ego. I never cared about those things before, it was all for good fun before and my work just naturally came out how i liked it and very uniquely. I feel the way i think and talk in everyday life has changed to someone that isn't me. Not to mention i feel lots of stress. The interesting thing is there are a couple times a month where I feel engaged and am not thinking about what i'm doing, and great work just flows out like it used to and i even feel happy while doing it. I can't help but feel maybe my thinking is getting in the way of who i used to be? maybe there is blocked spiritual energy?
Anyways, I recently have started looking into yoga and meditation after discovering sadhguru's talking about his inner engineering and shambhavi mahamudra. i've heard him claim it quiets the mind, has your spiritual energy come out, and all your peace and happiness comes out while your creativity will flow/etc. he says he has some secret yoga techniques, but as i look into it more, i hear people say he's a fraud and you can do yoga on your own. it stinks because i've been waiting for his shambhavi mahamudra course to be hosted near where i live. i looked into it and i've seen all different kinds of yoga, and i have no idea what's right for me. also, as i read the principles of yoga and whatnot, it really confuses me. i hear about quieting the mind, but i hear about removing external excitements, and letting the divine show and all these other things, and it really confuses me and even scares me a little. i guess what confuses me is mostly this question. am i going to lose who i am? is there anything specific to who we are or are we by nature all the same and just naturally content with nothing? are all my passions going to change? will the things i enjoy and want to do just die away because i'll be happy with nothing at all? what about the love for family/etc? that scares me because i love my family and hobbies like music and comedy.
please respond to help me find out if yoga can help me with my issues, what kind of yoga i could look into, and what some of the yoga concepts really mean. i'd appreciate it a lot.
thanks! |
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woosa
United Kingdom
382 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2012 : 3:50:12 PM
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Hi Vulcanraven
I know what you mean about the fear that you will lose yourself. But the more you meditate the more you will realise that there is no self, and to try and find the real you is the name of the game!
I realise I sound quite cliched there... but moving on.
I can't comment on Sadhguru's teachings because I'm not that affluent to afford them. Luckily AYP is free and I have practised those for a while and they are working for me.
So really it's up to you. Maybe trying out AYP for a while and see if it works for you. If not, then maybe teachings elsewhere could work. You might as well give these a go - they are already on the left hand side, in order, to try out. No secrets withheld here. What more could you ask for!? |
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just discovering yoga and have questions please
