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Namath
350 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 16 2012 : 02:09:58 AM
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HI :)
Those who know me on AYP are aware of me experiencing tough nightmares every now and then since starting AYP practices.
During the day there's Joy,Peace...Happiness...But When I sleep I go through Hell sometimes.
Few weeks back...I've been through one of those dreams where I've been tortured and woke up crying and in pain....The body pain where I've been pierced in dream continued for a week or so and was a live reminder for that dream... that made me feel repelled from doing any meditation or practices anymore.
I stopped it all.
A week back,I was going again through such dream...where a man was torturing me...he was twisting both of my hands and was intended to hurt me and rape me.I was in so much pain.
Didn't feel any hate,any fear,any resistance...just pain.I called Ma in my heart...was wondering why she's leaving me go through this .
A man I love in life... came and stood as a barrier between me and that man...He didn't fight,he didn't speak ...Just stood silent in between ..there was no way for the other man to reach me.
The man who was trying to hurt me started laughing and asked my love to take me and go away and after he saw we held nothing but Love towards him...Which he couldn't grasp.He said in a loud voice...Whoever tries to hurt me<as me namath> has to deal with him personally ...& that I'm under his protection now..
Funny my man doesn't do any meditation....no practices but his eyes are usually filled with tears when we speak about Allah.
In life I'm a happy person...I've always been...My feeling is the cycle of pain <in dream> is over as well ...thanks to the healing Love my Man has shared with me & still.
No more practices over here! It's over...I've ended up with adopting <Love-Peace> approach and made friendship with higher beings like Ma,Jesus,Ramana,Mar Charble....Which I'm grateful for.
That's All 
Love.
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Edited by - Namath on Sep 16 2012 02:13:02 AM |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2012 : 05:35:58 AM
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Hi Namath,
Sorry to hear about your bad dreams. Practices cause openings to happen, and purification to happen, and one of the negative symptoms of too much purification happening can be bad dreams. It is a sign that you need to cut back on your practices, or take a break for a while if it gets too intense, which, in this case it sounds like it has done.
One of the more beautiful side effects of practice though is the way it leads us to develop a powerful connection with higher beings. It is a natural development of the path and happens to everyone at some stage. It is good to cultivate that connection when it happens. It is yoga too... bhakti yoga.
Wishing you all the best.
Christi |
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Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2012 : 1:10:39 PM
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Hi Namath,
don't give up on Allah due to some nightmares. They come and go, not really touching you do they? It just looks like so. But you are always untouched and safe.
Allah is a word that wakes up kundalini and opens your heart chakra. This is my experience. It is a mantra doing exactly this, step by step. But also to my experience very slowly.
Had also many times (more than 6-7) practicing breaks after months or years of daily practice. The experience wals always some kind of calming down and peace. But later on after 1-2 weaks I was caught up in thoughts and endless distractions, loosing the peace and freedom of what always is. Allah is always, but to favor him, to be with and in him as him never happened here without "coming again and again back to him".
Three styles worked here, the forth did not. Giving up full control of body mind, meaning not doing anything anymore until god does it and shoes that he does. The second was bringing back the attention to what always is = Allah and remaining so 24/7. This worked aswell. Third is continuous practices which clears the way for what always is to be always visible. The forth whih is living with neither of these three always was the end of living with Allah for me.
Allah likes when you love his dear and to-him-near-ones, but loves most if you love him directly fully forever every moment. Don't fear the dreams, go for the highest, go for the only one!
All love and support to you :) |
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Sep 17 2012 : 03:23:37 AM
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Thank you Christi and Holy;
Holy...I lost interest in doing mantras also.Even a mantra feels imposed nowadays & unnatural.
prefer resting in space during the day.
I lost interest to sit twice a day for meditation...every instant is an opportunity for meditation...don't feel like allocating a specific time anymore.
Hear you speaking about Allah that likes & that...I hear people all the time speaking about Allah that wants this or that.My Allah is not a deity ...he's an objective God...All pervading God.He doesn't want anything...that's why he gave us free will in everything.
When you say go for the only one...I laugh at myself for an instant of believing I'm actually looking or were looking for God .He's everywhere & in everything why should I look for him...?better Worship him through loving his different forms...all living and non living ... instead of looking.
If I'm meant to be brought higher...I trust I'll be pulled higher!Won't be any effort from my side anymore...let him come and get me.& if not!there's still death oneday...so sooner or later I'll go back to him...In the mean time I'll enjoy living.
All Love for you too :)
[img]icon_heart.gif[/img]
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Sep 17 2012 : 08:32:25 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Namath
I lost interest to sit twice a day for meditation...every instant is an opportunity for meditation...
Very beautiful words... Or, maybe... Every instant is meditation...Just pay attention to it...
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2012 : 2:53:03 PM
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Since that dream...I still feel pain in the diaphragm...and upper part of the stomach...As if it's being torn apart... accompanied by burning sensation.
there's a tornado turning turning inside somewhere inside the body going up to head...non stop whirling of energy.It makes me dizzy & when I touch upper part of stomach...there's a strong pulse over there accompanied by pain.
feel so much irritation especially from loud voices or too much talking...
Don't know what to do other than just witness...
[img]icon_heart.gif[/img]
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2012 : 07:25:42 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Namath
Since that dream...I still feel pain in the diaphragm...and upper part of the stomach...As if it's being torn apart... accompanied by burning sensation.
there's a tornado turning turning inside somewhere inside the body going up to head...non stop whirling of energy.It makes me dizzy & when I touch upper part of stomach...there's a strong pulse over there accompanied by pain.
feel so much irritation especially from loud voices or too much talking...
Don't know what to do other than just witness...
[img]icon_heart.gif[/img]
Hi Namath,
The pain in your upper stomach is caused by your manipura chakra activating. Blockages in the chakra when it is activating cause the pain. The whirling sensation going up inside to your head is the kundalini energy.
There are two things to do in this case, as it sounds like it is too much for you to handle. First, stop practices for a while, which you have already done. Secondly, engage in grounding activities every day, which will help balance the energy out and bring it more to the earth. Pain in the manipura chakra often results in bad dreams, as it is the centre associated with lower feelings. These are things like paranoia, fear, repulsion, self-protection, jealousy etc. When this chakra is cleared and open then the opposite feelings are predominant such as being open to the pain of others, an absence of fear, surrender and acceptance. This provides the basis for the opening and flowering of the heart in divine love.
So it is an important process that you are going through and is a sign that the yoga is working.
Take it easy and do plenty of grounding. Grounding practices are covered in this lesson:
Kundalini symptoms, imbalances, and remedies
All the best
Christi
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2012 : 1:52:33 PM
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Christi the link does not work
Christi was referring to lesson 69
http://www.aypsite.org/69.html
btw during this current overload i am going through, for the first time i felt paranoia....usually it is only the usual anxiety and fear....thx for the info Christi cause i thought i was going crazy  |
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2012 : 2:21:34 PM
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No Maha you're not going crazy...we are already crazy
Christi...the pain is gone by early morning that night...I was woke up by a baby's presence....It was a she & i could hear her laughs from another world.& there were more than one presence but hers was intense....I gave my attention to that area of my body...& the pain and irritation was totally gone.
Thank you baby girl for the healing...Patiently waiting your arrival to earth one day....as obviously you're still in another world.
Although practices stopped some time back...but attention to attention might be what's causing overload....
It's over now... I'll come nag when I go through pain again...maybe not
thank you,[img]icon_heart.gif[/img]
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2012 : 3:04:07 PM
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Hi Maheswari
quote:
btw during this current overload i am going through, for the first time i felt paranoia....usually it is only the usual anxiety and fear....thx for the info Christi cause i thought i was going crazy
Going crazy usually comes shortly after the paranoia sets in.  |
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2012 : 3:42:17 PM
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Paranoia...I was wondering what does it mean according to dictionary:
"a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically elaborated into an organized system. It may be an aspect of chronic personality disorder, of drug abuse, or of a serious condition such as schizophrenia in which the person loses touch with reality."
Wooohooo sounds so ugly when explained that way...speaking from experience...It's not so bad though |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2012 : 3:54:26 PM
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Sep 21 2012 : 07:29:15 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Namath
Paranoia...I was wondering what does it mean according to dictionary:
"a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically elaborated into an organized system. It may be an aspect of chronic personality disorder, of drug abuse, or of a serious condition such as schizophrenia in which the person loses touch with reality."
Wooohooo sounds so ugly when explained that way...speaking from experience...It's not so bad though
Hi Namath,
The paranoia associated with the premature activation of the manipura chakra is usually mild paranoia. It is just a feeling of edginess and a feeling that someone might want to harm you in some way. It is only in extreme cases where people really push their spiritual practices to the limit and do not observe responsible self-pacing that paranoia can become extreme. In those cases, that dictionary definition would apply.
quote:
Although practices stopped some time back...but attention to attention might be what's causing overload....
Yes, that is one to watch. "Attention to attention", also sometimes called "mindfullness of mindfullness" or "awareness of awareness", is a powerful spiritual practice in it's own right. It is the first thing to drop if you are self-pacing your practices.
quote:
feel so much irritation especially from loud voices or too much talking...
Irritation, and sensitivity to loud noises are two more symptoms of energetic overload in the subtle body. Definitely time to take things easy for a while. Stay active and engaged in life. Serve others, stay grounded and let things settle for a while.
If and when you do decide to re-engage in practices, you may well be best off coming in with breathing meditation. Yogani discusses it in this lesson:
Suggestions for over-sensitive meditators
Christi
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Sep 21 2012 : 10:52:54 AM
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Hi Christi!
i was using third enhancement of mantra a month or so back...it was fine for sometimes...
I once felt inclined to attend a Hatha yoga class...haven't been to a yoga class in over a year ...During the class i was in happy state...spaced out and feeling beautiful energies in the class and smelling aroma....Extremely happy....After class,went to mall with a friend...My body was in orgasmic/preorgasmic state for the rest of the day & there must have been something omitted to the surrounding because people were over friendly and just want to sit,stand next to me or open any subject...but when one girl came and took a shoes from my hand and stood still next to me...she wouldn't leave...& I felt she's spaced out...I knew mall is not a good idea...
I guess after that kundalini rushed out and caused all that imbalance..Maybe!Just guessing.
The lesson mentions about mental activities...I wish!I like reading programming books in general but can't nowadays...I feel so much energy in the head if I do that.
Wonder if breath meditation is a good idea for a person like me.My breathing stops during the day sometimes and when I notice that I'm not breathing...I take deep long breathes..
Lately Just before sleeping,my lungs stopped completely breathing...no matter how much I try to inhale...But then I said to myself"wait a minute!why you're trying so hard to breath...worst case scenario you'll die...don't you want to unite with God...it's your chance"...So I surrendered and stopped trying to breath...Nothing happened...fell asleep and woke up normally the second day alive  ...
I have to admit...even though I sounded as a nagger before...but I don't mind going through any pain again if that will take me closer to the divine...I sometimes feel this body is becoming too tight for me...want to get out...but I'm very very grateful for this beautiful tool called body.through it I'm doing practices
Love.
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Sep 26 2012 : 04:11:39 AM
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I've met some one....He has long spiky hair...his eyes are so sharp,strong ...and glittery...red eyes....He came so close to my face as if he's telling me"what are you doing here?...or how dare you come here?".....I felt warmth in his presence...just like he's emitting fire... and although he's supposed to be scary...I felt he's so beautiful.
I guess because he felt I'm not scared ...on the contrary feel love to him....that his curiosity dropped and he disappeared...
who is that?
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sivasambho
USA
136 Posts |
Posted - Sep 26 2012 : 11:59:04 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Namath
I've met some one....He has long spiky hair...his eyes are so sharp,strong ...and glittery...red eyes....He came so close to my face as if he's telling me"what are you doing here?...or how dare you come here?".....I felt warmth in his presence...just like he's emitting fire... and although he's supposed to be scary...I felt he's so beautiful.
I guess because he felt I'm not scared ...on the contrary feel love to him....that his curiosity dropped and he disappeared...
who is that?
Namath, Its not me, I been shaving my head religiously |
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Sep 26 2012 : 2:32:12 PM
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loool!
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Sep 26 2012 : 5:16:37 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Namath
I've met some one....He has long spiky hair...his eyes are so sharp,strong ...and glittery...red eyes....He came so close to my face as if he's telling me"what are you doing here?...or how dare you come here?".....I felt warmth in his presence...just like he's emitting fire... and although he's supposed to be scary...I felt he's so beautiful.
I guess because he felt I'm not scared ...on the contrary feel love to him....that his curiosity dropped and he disappeared...
who is that?
A Shadow. You were ready for it. It can manifest physically. It's a part of you that stays hidden. It's usually preceded by a state of anxiety and after, a sense of incredible calm. You just slayed a dragon
Ah just read the rest of the posts. The pain is anxiety and fear. I adopted Sri Ramana Marahashi and surrendered completely. At least you only had the dream. 2 hours of blind terror crawling up from the feet like high voltage electricity which suggested I might actually die was quite dramatic while awake. |
Edited by - karl on Sep 26 2012 5:22:36 PM |
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Sep 27 2012 : 05:36:20 AM
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...No wonder I felt One with the spiky being...[wonder what super hold gel he uses to keep his hair standing upward like this!]
but that was not a dream...It happened during waking hours...2 hours of blind terror and you were still awake...I might faint from the first minute or so
you brought my attention to Bhagavan.I've seen him in dream lately and he smashed a wasp that came so close and touched my face...that explains it
thank you Karl.
Love.
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Edited by - Namath on Sep 27 2012 05:45:26 AM |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Sep 27 2012 : 08:53:27 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Namath
...No wonder I felt One with the spiky being...[wonder what super hold gel he uses to keep his hair standing upward like this!]
but that was not a dream...It happened during waking hours...2 hours of blind terror and you were still awake...I might faint from the first minute or so
you brought my attention to Bhagavan.I've seen him in dream lately and he smashed a wasp that came so close and touched my face...that explains it
thank you Karl.
Love.
Yes, from then on it was note to self "go easy on practices" , a little goes a long way
I was in bed, dozed off and then woke up with a huge feeling of anxiety and fear. That isn't me at all, usually I sleep like a log. If things do keep me awake they just buzz around in my head, this was a definite departure.
I was unable to move, totally frozen with fear. Only happened once.
The spikey one is your other side. I think everyone has a different experience. I recognised that fear in the pit of the stomach feeling. The more you hide it, the greater seems to be the experience. I didn't realise this pit of fear in the stomach existed until I didn't have it any more. I realised it had been there for years, maybe for ever and had only grown in intensity towards the quickening and then it was gone.
The spikey one steals your life, he is a thief. I still don't really understand it except through direct experience. Once it's in the light you have to accept/love it. It's a part of you that hides itself away and influences everything you do. Maybe it was natural fear that developed legs and arms and decided it needed a bit more influence than simply being scared of the odd animal attack. |
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2013 : 2:44:33 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Namath
I've met some one....He has long spiky hair...his eyes are so sharp,strong ...and glittery...red eyes....He came so close to my face as if he's telling me"what are you doing here?...or how dare you come here?".....I felt warmth in his presence...just like he's emitting fire... and although he's supposed to be scary...I felt he's so beautiful.
I guess because he felt I'm not scared ...on the contrary feel love to him....that his curiosity dropped and he disappeared...
who is that?
That must have been the male aspect of me !
Remembered this today while looking at myself in the mirror with my short spiky hair now...& the same sharp eyes!
We're so much alike. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2013 : 2:45:48 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Namath
quote:
Originally posted by Namath
I've met some one....He has long spiky hair...his eyes are so sharp,strong ...and glittery...red eyes....He came so close to my face as if he's telling me"what are you doing here?...or how dare you come here?".....I felt warmth in his presence...just like he's emitting fire... and although he's supposed to be scary...I felt he's so beautiful.
I guess because he felt I'm not scared ...on the contrary feel love to him....that his curiosity dropped and he disappeared...
who is that?
That must have been the male aspect of me !
Remembered this today while looking at myself in the mirror with my short spiky hair now...& the same sharp eyes!
We're so much alike.
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2013 : 3:38:43 PM
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2013 : 5:58:51 PM
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Dear Namat,
You said,
quote:
Originally posted by Namath
If I'm meant to be brought higher...I trust I'll be pulled higher!Won't be any effort from my side anymore...let him come and get me.& if not!there's still death oneday...so sooner or later I'll go back to him...In the mean time I'll enjoy living.
[img]icon_heart.gif[/img]
and also,
quote:
Lately Just before sleeping,my lungs stopped completely breathing...no matter how much I try to inhale...But then I said to myself"wait a minute!why you're trying so hard to breath...worst case scenario you'll die...don't you want to unite with God...it's your chance"...So I surrendered and stopped trying to breath...Nothing happened...fell asleep and woke up normally the second day alive ...
I have to admit...even though I sounded as a nagger before...but I don't mind going through any pain again if that will take me closer to the divine...I sometimes feel this body is becoming too tight for me...want to get out...but I'm very very grateful for this beautiful tool called body.through it I'm doing practices
That is so cool! And I can relate.
I realize it's different for everyone, but for me personally - and I think I can safely say this on behalf of other bhakti-crazed lovers of God as well - yoga, whether AYP or HOY or whatever particular system or technique, is a devotional practice, an offering to Him. But, it goes way beyond the practices per se; I want to love the Beloved more with every breath! that is yoga.
At times we might need to back off on certain practices if we are getting overload, as you have been doing. But still, our whole life is an offering.
I've had some experiences where either I stopped breathing for a while, and/or felt myself leaving out through the crown, at which point I could only say, like you, "worst case scenario... I'll be united with God." :) What a great feeling that is! What incredible freedom.
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. 
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2013 : 6:00:23 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Christi
Hi Maheswari
quote:
btw during this current overload i am going through, for the first time i felt paranoia....usually it is only the usual anxiety and fear....thx for the info Christi cause i thought i was going crazy
Going crazy usually comes shortly after the paranoia sets in.
LOL, too late! |
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2013 : 08:01:00 AM
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Dear Radharani,
thank you for your kind words.
The thing about sharing experiences is that they are so intense when they happen....now I don't recall this anymore.
I am happy & content & grateful for every breath/no breath.That's all I know
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my experience with AYP
