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lalow33

USA
966 Posts

Posted - Aug 13 2013 :  12:56:27 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Just some thoughts...

This whole yoga practice has nothing to do with me, does it? I've wanted so much from my practice, but I don't know. I feel lost and confused, anxious and fearful. Other people seem so much happier. All these strangers come up with their eyes twinkling, telling me how blessed and lucky they are. I've never experienced anything like it.

CarsonZi

Canada
3189 Posts

Posted - Aug 13 2013 :  5:32:18 PM  Show Profile  Visit CarsonZi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi lalow33,

quote:
Originally posted by lalow33

This whole yoga practice has nothing to do with me, does it?


I suspect you probably didn't intend this in a joking manner, but this made me laugh.

You could answer this question in all kinds of ways. From:

"No, yoga practice has nothing to do with you and everything to do with us."

to:

"It has everything to do with you on every possible level."

and everything inbetween. It really depends on how you define "to do" and "me."

Love,
Carson

P.S. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.







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jonesboy

USA
594 Posts

Posted - Aug 13 2013 :  6:43:15 PM  Show Profile  Visit jonesboy's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
How long have you been practicing and what method have been using?
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Radharani

USA
843 Posts

Posted - Aug 13 2013 :  7:59:29 PM  Show Profile  Visit Radharani's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by lalow33

Just some thoughts...

This whole yoga practice has nothing to do with me, does it? I've wanted so much from my practice, but I don't know. I feel lost and confused, anxious and fearful. Other people seem so much happier. All these strangers come up with their eyes twinkling, telling me how blessed and lucky they are. I've never experienced anything like it.



Dear lalow33,
You said, "I've wanted so much from my practice..."

My teacher Mark Whitwell, when he's trying to be all advaita-y, will often say, "Do your practice without expectations!" Now, I've told him this is ridiculous, in that if you don't expect your practice to have any result, then why are you doing it?! LOL. However, maybe he has a point. Other teachers have likewise said that our expectations can get in the way.

So, do you think it is at all possible that this could be happening in your case? Is attachment to getting the results actually interfering with the process? If so, what can we DO about it?

And I would ask, with jonesboy, what is your practice and how long have you been doing it?
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lalow33

USA
966 Posts

Posted - Aug 14 2013 :  12:32:00 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Geez, I must be confused. My post doesn't read like I intended. What I was trying to say was, I'm noticing that my yoga practice is having a positive effect on other people. I see it in other people, but not feeling much in myself. I'll be feeling grouchy or anxious and people are just lighting up with joy. It's strange. Why am I not feeling joyful, too? I thought I would wait on Karma yoga because I'm too selfish, and it would be fake. I didn't realize it's all karma yoga.

My practices are 4 rounds SBP and 5 min DM twice daily and asana daily. 4-5 mo AYP. I'm not sure how long I've been doing asanas. Over a decade at least weekly and daily for 3-4 years? I've meditated but not every day for 2-3 yrs. using varying styles. DM is by far my favorite. I really had to force myself to do the other types.



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Anima

484 Posts

Posted - Aug 14 2013 :  09:27:55 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Lalow,

Thank you for your honest questions. I felt no joy and saw no beauty in the world for the first three decades of my life. It can take time. It's hard to trust everything sometimes. But I do feel it is worth it.
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jonesboy

USA
594 Posts

Posted - Aug 14 2013 :  11:13:54 AM  Show Profile  Visit jonesboy's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by lalow33


My practices are 4 rounds SBP and 5 min DM twice daily and asana daily.



Be careful, you should only do SB when you are following it with DM. Doing it different can have some negative effects. One round of SB and DM twice daily.

You are experiencing just what Yogani said. Others may notice changes first. Or you may notice a change in others around you before you notice the changes in yourself.

I know everyone wants to feel bliss during the practice and the joy during the day. Yet everyone says don't go into meditation with wanting bliss. I agree, I think of it like a little kid who always wants candy. Daddy can I have some candy, how about now, now, what about now. Now then, with my kids I will say NO, and the more you bug me the longer you will go without any candy.

I think meditation and Yoga is like that. We are the little kid always wanting more in the expectation that, that is what we need to be happy. Yoga teaches us that is not the way. It is your desire for more that is making you unhappy with your practice. You must surrender YOUR desires, your expectations for what you want.

I believe if you go into your sessions and life with the desire of "Thy will be done" or "Lord provide me with the lessons I need to learn" not "I want bliss" you will find bliss both in and out of practice.
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lalow33

USA
966 Posts

Posted - Aug 14 2013 :  12:06:11 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Anima Deorum

Hi Lalow,

Thank you for your honest questions. I felt no joy and saw no beauty in the world for the first three decades of my life. It can take time. It's hard to trust everything sometimes. But I do feel it is worth it.




I appreciate all the responses. This post has affected me on a deep level. I'm speechless.
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