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Stillpool
USA
39 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 17 2012 : 10:04:00 PM
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Yesterday, during DM, the mantra seemed to take on a life of its own, where I was not repeating it at all, but rather listening to it, as if there were someone deep inside my repeating it. At first, this was very refreshing. Then the mantra (this is hard to explain) seemed to become more than just a sound. This sounds weird, but it was as if the mantra became very black, and I could "feel" and almost "see" it jumping around in the darkness of my closed eyes like a black frog. This went on for only a moment and an overwhelming feeling of dread and panic came over me. My heart began racing and I stopped meditating immediately. I was pretty shook up for about an hour. Is this purification? Any advice or explanation on what is going on? I meditated today and was fine. Am I hiding something from myself?
Thanks |
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AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - Jun 17 2012 : 11:43:05 PM
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The mantra does fit your description in my experience, though I make sure to go back to it when I realize I am rattling the mantra as opposed to just saying the mantra at increasingly more quiet levels.
Interesting experience you have had. Surely if something of the sort happens again, you might react less to it and eventually let it go and return to the procedure.
My meditations have been entirely uneventful and ordinary besides occasional trailing off into daydream-like thoughts while rattling it in the background before realizing and returning to it gently. Oh, and the rare and brief sensation of expanded inner and outer space, though never too deep as before. |
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LittleTurtle
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - Jun 18 2012 : 01:39:31 AM
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Just like Aum said, when you notice these things then you go back to the procedure. I think when you go deep, things can feel odd at times. I sometimes experience the mantra as a physical (in my body) vibration. I'm feeling the sound rather than hearing it. It can get weird, or rather pleasant. When it's pleasant I just enjoy it and keep going. But anything at all that seems off the practice, then you just go back to the mantra repetition. Once during pranyam I got a sudden very intense rush and it panicked me for a few moments. I could recognize later that the panicky feeling was my reaction and not the experience. Just keep practicing.  |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Jun 18 2012 : 05:43:23 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Stillpool
Yesterday, during DM, the mantra seemed to take on a life of its own, where I was not repeating it at all, but rather listening to it, as if there were someone deep inside my repeating it. At first, this was very refreshing. Then the mantra (this is hard to explain) seemed to become more than just a sound. This sounds weird, but it was as if the mantra became very black, and I could "feel" and almost "see" it jumping around in the darkness of my closed eyes like a black frog. This went on for only a moment and an overwhelming feeling of dread and panic came over me. My heart began racing and I stopped meditating immediately. I was pretty shook up for about an hour. Is this purification? Any advice or explanation on what is going on? I meditated today and was fine. Am I hiding something from myself?
Thanks
Your going to hate me, but it has to be said. Anytime you are off the Mantra go gently back to it. You noticed the black frog so you were off the Mantra and onto noticing the black frog. It's scenery. The more time you spend staring at it, the more significance it takes. Your mind is getting tetchy and is beginning its trademark tricks. It is trying to make sure you are dazzled because it fears oblivion.
Don't push it away or cling to it, just let it be, observe with amusement and then get on with your practice. It's going well. |
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Stillpool
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - Jun 18 2012 : 08:05:28 AM
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karl said:
"Your mind is getting tetchy and is beginning its trademark tricks. It is trying to make sure you are dazzled because it fears oblivion."
Thank you karl. And all others who have replied. |
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Bourgo
USA
57 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2012 : 08:47:39 AM
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"Your mind is getting tetchy and is beginning its trademark tricks. It is trying to make sure you are dazzled because it fears oblivion."
I'm not sure that is the answer. Of course, I'm not sure it is not the answer either In any case, I think it is definitely key to just go back to the mantra. We have to be careful not to assign significance to events that may not be significant at all. Not every thought that the mind produces is meaningful -- a lot of it is just chatter -- so trying to find meaning in every event (whether that meaning is some sort of perceived trickery or whatever) is pointless in my opinion. The importance of meditation comes in your daily life and in your view towards living, which are the only things that need to be impacted by your sitting practices. Happiness, calmness and learning to experience life rather than live in the past or future are the true milestones for effective sitting practices.
Whether or not the mind "tries" to trick you or not is debatable. Its basically an abstract version of anthropomorphism: you are assigning human traits to something that doesn't necessarily feel that way. An insect doesn't have human emotion, but we often assign those emotions to explain certain behaviors because its easier for us to understand that way. In the same way, the mind is not a "being" in and of itself, and attempting to justify all of its actions may be misleading.
The explanation on what the brain truly is, is still up for scientific debate. Some say it is simply a "decoder" that interprets the outside (possibly holographic) world. Some believe that it actually physically stores information. Still others believe that it merely communicates the intention of the soul. Nobody really knows at the moment, but I lean towards the first explanation.
Happy meditating,
B
P.S. The latest experiments in quantum theory, etc. are beginning to show that our world seems to be holographic. In other words, each piece contains the information of the whole (look up the unique properties of holograms if you're not familiar). Anyway, the scientific view of reality is slowly marching toward validating the unique experience of mystics that claim feelings of "oneness" and "expansive inner reality" .... if each piece of the universe contains all of the information of the entirety, then you truly do have a universe of information within you. Its complex and often confusing, but it seems to be the true nature of the universe. What these things mean in terms of an afterlife or your perceived "individuality" of consciousness, I have no idea yet. |
Edited by - Bourgo on Jun 19 2012 11:20:09 AM |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Jun 19 2012 : 5:12:58 PM
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| That's what I said "tetchy" in a quantum way |
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