I really feel for you but I wonder if this (AYP support forums and the internet in general) is the right place to ask for help on this matter. Is there somebody who knows you personally that can help out?
dear seemas there was no need to take your post off (i have read it before you took it off) you are more than welcome to share your problem....Medea and others over here are only trying the best they can to help you out and guide you to the proper solution... do you have a close family member or friend to tell him/her your situation? if yes,what does he/she advices you to do? usually close people around us know us better than here in the forums so they can give us more efficient advice if you are still confused or you dont have anyone close to talk to,please feel free to ask for help in the forums...i am sure you will be given some insights into your situation... Love
Maheswari said it perfectly. There was no need to take it down! Just so you know, my statement came out of concern for you, not from dismissal. I hope you find a solution. Since I have no experience in these matters, more then wishing you well is not in my power...