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Electra
USA
4 Posts |
 Posted - May 18 2012 : 5:52:20 PM
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Hi all. I've been sort of "loitering" here for a while, trying to find a way to trust this path.
While I desperately seek relief from the suffering I find myself experiencing (and there has been a lot lately), the motivation I feel for changing my circumstances is founded on a desire to interact fully and meaningfully with my surroundings and my loved ones...to be of greater service, to be a better parent, friend, family member, to enjoy and bring joy to others, as opposed to a yearning for self-discovery or protection. That is to say that I wonder if I am capable of benefitting from these practices if my intent is not one borne from a desire for divine awareness, bliss consciousness, detachment from this world, a yearning for "more" or "greater" or "transcendental" experiences. To be perfectly blunt, without the knowledge that I am of service, of value, to others, I am completely neutral toward continuing to live or to try. Because it would cause pain for others for me to give up, I know I need to continue living, but how to do it without tremendous suffering is daunting.
The quick and dirty history of my spiritual experience is that I've aways found organized religion to be divisive, and following a dogmatic or prescribed path to be both disingenuous and counterintuitive (especially when deities are revered as merciful and loving). I have found in recent years that my God (or "Higher Power," chosen ideal, divine source) is indescribable, but looks a lot like hope, or the knowledge that all is as it should be, and I just need to be patient to see why; something like "things are going to be okay," or divine design/order. When I can grasp on to this, and hold it close, I have a great deal of peace and comfort, but I have met with great difficulty connecting with this in recent months. I have had some limited experience with total immersion in a yogic lifestyle, and its effect on me was calming, gratitude-inducing. But when I returned to my regular life, it seems that my reserve of calm was quickly diluted, and the anger, frustration, jealousy, intolerance I had battled was still there in spades. The obvious answer probably appears to be to incorporate yoga into my "real life." But here's the rub: my "real life" demands essentially my undivided attention, my constant energy and responsibility. To take the time to practice daily meditation, asanas, kirtan, etc would take time and energy away from those I live for. I just can't seem to figure out how one can be devoted to individual spiritual practices while bestowing devotion simultaneously on one's family and service to others.
For those who would say that both can coexist peacefully (and even that they must, for without an internal reserve of silence, a raised level of awareness, what have I to give?), my response is, are you sure? Are those whose spiritual pursuits pervade their lives objective enough to perceive how their spiritual practices are affecting their loved ones? It's pretty clear that criticism and negativity are not terribly welcome here, so I will try to be as positive as I can be as I try to explain my misgivings... The back story here is that I was involved for several years with a man I dearly loved (and love still), the father of my children, and our once strong (though predictably challenging at times) relationship was taxed to the point of falling apart. This was due in no small part to his constant, unyielding focus, attention, and time spent in spiritual pursuits. While he dove into yoga, sought silence to the exclusion of living and experiencing life with us, my observation was that he grew progressively more detached. His attention appeared to be drawn inward, upward, and our daily lives seemed to become shallow, mundane, so fraught with untruth, that he distanced himself from them and us. His time was increasingly spent in total immersion in seeking truth from books, the Internet, other yogis, teachers, meditation, those people and resources he felt he had greater truths to learn from. His time and attention was spent away from us, even when his physical presence was still there. It seemed to consume him fully. He felt distant, even cold. He rejected illusion, or what he saw as illusion, and was so vehement in his desire not to feed it, that everything we had together didn't seem to matter anymore. I felt that I was no longer an equal in his eyes, but a student to his adopted teacher role, and in the absence of following the same spiritual path, on the same timeline, it seemed that we were no longer able to share anything of substance. As a family, we felt neglected and rejected, while he seemed to prefer the company and confidences shared only in a spiritually elite group. And he denied it, could not recognize that while trying to do something meaningful for himself (and in his mind, for us), he was abandoning us. He was blind to the pain he was causing (and would tell you, as I'm sure many here would, that one cannot cause another pain, but that the one experiencing it is doing so only because she is identified with it) to us in his absence of attention, energy, time. He felt that he had a new and better way to be with us, to help us: samyama. The trouble is that when one is used to relating to another on a tangible level, a relationship level, the knowledge that love and space are being "sent" is precious little substitute for interaction or relating on an interpersonal level.
Having said all this, I wonder whether this experience is typical, or whether it is somehow possible to balance a life and family with AYP practice. The level of suffering I am enduring on a daily basis is no longer tolerable, and I am aware that until I change my life, increase the calm, embrace gratitude and acceptance, find some silence, I will be of little service to others, and my life will not be worth living. I have previously experienced a modicum of "success" in practicing yoga toward these ends, so I am heartened by the possibility that this path may be "right." However, my previous experience with a loved one's immersion in AYP has cast doubt on whether I could practice with the level of dedication suggested without causing undue pain or hardship to those who depend on my time and attention.
Any guidance is welcome. Thank you. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2012 : 7:22:47 PM
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Hi Electra and a very warm welcome,
Many of the things you mention are pitfalls of those whom become obsessive about the spiritual journey. However you have already witnessed the results and so are unlikely to follow that line.
It's not necessary to engage in all the practices. The core of 5 mins Sanyama and 20 minutes of Deep meditation twice a day with a few minutes rest is all that is required. Some of us do less than that.
AYP is all about daily immersion in everyday life and that is considered to be a good source of grounding. It actually improves the way we interact with others over time as it frees us from some of the negative stuff that stops full participation and gradually reduces fear.
It's also not a cult or a religion. It steadfastly refuses to be anything other than a guide to a series of practices. The only places we interact are on the forums and the occasional retreat, which is entirely your choice. I too have no requirement for a religious organisation. However AYP is completely open to all religions as its a totally open system. Even the lessons can be found on this site and are free.
In the end it's your choice . |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2012 : 10:20:20 PM
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Hi there Electra,
Welcome to the forum  Thanks for coming here. I really understand your dilemma, and it must've been painful to go through that experience with your husband. I'll give you my honest my opinion here, and hope maybe this is helpful.
Life can be pretty hard, can it not? Even when we seemingly have everything we want on the outside, and our loved ones around us, and maybe some material comforts too, there are those that still suffer and feel a call within themselves to seek something. It sounds like your husband might be someone who is a bit like that.
I suppose he has to tread his own path, but the truth is, it sounds like his effort may have been a little misguided if it's led to him distancing himself from daily life, becoming emotionally unavailable and mentally labeling his present experience as delusion. It may well just be a passing phase he is going through.
Carefully self-paced spiritual practice and following the loving intuition deep within ourselves doesn't lead to that sort of thing. It doesn't lead to becoming cold and detached and regarding the world as a meaningless illusion. Rising inner silence leads to deeply increased inner freedom, which means we aren't wrapped up in our own problems, and consequently we easily find access to spontaneous arisings of selfless love, which express themselves through our increasingly unselfish behavior, and the ability to reach out and connect with people at the heart, on a deeper level.
The inner silence completely changes the emotional/energetic resonance of the yoga practitioner. Where once stress, anxiety, fear, grief, conditioned behaviors, emotional reactivity etc were all jangling around, now there is just clear, loving, open, spacious awareness and the ability to respond to our loved ones in a way that supports, heals and brings harmony. With our increasing inner joy and love, there's so much energy freed up to care for others.
This balanced, grounded spiritual practice shouldn't lead to DEtachment it should lead to freedom from Attachment. The things are very different. Detachment implies not caring about or not being involved in experience. Freedom from attachment means losing one's own selfish clinging to things, and ceasing wanting the world to behave in such a way that it meets our needs, and instead being lovingly available to flow with whatever happens, not caring whether things proceed according to our personal agenda or not.
It's true there is a pitfall on the spiritual path, particularly for people who are starting out: it's called Spiritual Bypassing. This when we find a lot of pleasurable feelings available from spiritual practices, and so we just direct all the attention inward, neglecting the reality around us, in preference for states of inner pleasure. I've been there, and it took me a while to realize I was being pretty selfish and foolish.
You don't have to go that route, and it seems pretty obvious to me that since the people around you matter so much to you, you probably won't do anyway.
It's the pain body that drives people to this "obsessive" sort of seeking, where they are prepared to sacrifice their daily experience, and just seek spiritual bliss and inner pleasure. If you're not familiar with the pain body, Eckhart Tolle speaks a lot on it, and Rupert Spira has some good stuff to say also. The pain body is like the sum total of our inner emotional wounds, and it dulls and numbs our daily experience, causing us to be unable to recognize the wonderful miracle of every human being around us, and every second that we spend alive. We seek something more, feeling that we are incomplete, blind to the fact that what we are sitting on top of the miracle we are seeking, it's the present moment itself.
A fully integrated spiritual practice should address the pain body, and bring us deeper into the now, not into some sort of blissed out detached state, like some sort of drug trip. I suggest looking at the teachings of Michael Brown "The Presence Process", Adyashanti, Eckhart Tolle and Rupert Spira. I believe these teachers to be fully "heart awakened" teachers, not just mind awakened, or on some spiritual bliss trip. In the heart awakened state we find overwhelming love, engagement and compassion available for the day to day reality, not cold detachment.
I recommend AYP practices, but I believe some of the more NOW-centred teachings described above provide a counter-balance that prevent spiritual bypassing.
With deep love,
Josh
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2012 : 04:01:44 AM
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Hi Electra and welcome to the AYP forums.
First of all, thank you for your honesty and your willingness to share your inquiry with the rest of us here.
Here's my take on it.
I've been pretty much exactly where your husband is/was, as I'm sure my wife will attest. For several years I was religiously doing practices for about 3 hours a day and then teaching AYP in yoga studios and at retreats on top of that (as well as working a regular 9-5 job). Essentially the same thing was happening in my home that you noticed in yours; I wasn't fully engaging with my family and had all sorts of excuses as to why not.
My sole goal in life was (and still is) complete liberation.... maximizing human potential. But it took me a long time to realize that I had a lot of uninvestigated beliefs with regards to what I thought was required in order to "achieve liberation." I was uncompromising in my beliefs and in many ways completely unwilling to investigate into these beliefs. But Life has a funny way of pushing us into situations that cause us to look at the things we vehemently refuse to. For me it was having my daughter develop a severe kundalini rash as a result of me overdoing practices that caused me to have to start investigating into things. Upon investigation I realized that I was using spiritual practices as an escape from my daily duties... that the balance between "inner engagement" and "outer engagement" was way off. It has been a long process of finding the right balance since realizing this, but I believe I have found that balance for me, finally.
So, long story short, yes, I think it is possible to find a balance between family/life and spiritual practices. Where that balance is found is going to be different for everyone, but I do believe that it is possible.
Thanks again for being so willing to share your experience with us here.
Love,
Carson  |
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amoux
United Kingdom
266 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2012 : 04:59:17 AM
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Welcome to the AYP Forums, Electra
There's no reason why you won't be able to find the balance - not using practices as an escape mechanism from daily life, but rather as an illumination of all that life brings each of us. And it's very easy to tell when we're out of balance - are we more loving, more kind, more tolerant, more compassionate, more patient - all of these things - in our everyday life - or less? If less, then we're out of balance. And we correct our course accordingly.
I wish you great joy in your practices - and you will always find help and support here on the Forums.
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Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2012 : 8:36:58 PM
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Dear Electra,
AYP also caused the same things as you and Carson describe for me many times. The main reason for it is, it is very efficient and the impact of the practices can be a little bit too strong especially in the midterm. The moment you can trust the process and still practice with lesser amounts, things will balance out and after some months great things will arise without the negative pressure.
Another point to mention, the heart and love aspect develops much later in AYP. Awareness and bliss come faster, but these qualities don't express themselves as love right from the start but later on when the overall system purifies more and the heart is also more adressed. In the meanwhile it can look like extreme detachment which may seem like it will even become much more in the future or even forever. I can assure you, that this is just transitionally and it can be balanced out through less DM.
Another thing which also helps to balance out and bring more love is to clean out ida and pingala more focusedly and to increase the energetic pressure within them through alternate nostril breathing. It can be practiced before DM and if time allows even before SBP.
For those with ultra bhakti and a lot of time, in my experience, AYP is not the best system. Kriya yoga is more suitable then. But for those who are fully engaged in life, AYP's efficiency is a great blessing which still needs to be self paced a lot. It is a long term project that is worth every minute spent in ;)
If your husband can not trust the process, it may be very helpful to visit one or two godlike people to see and experience some divine qualities and how they can happen fully compatible with daily life. This inspiration can be enough to practice even small amounts for months and years without problems. Something else that would help, would be an intense retreat for him. He must go overboard and touch "the other side" otherwise he will not have the right perspective to balance his situation out.
Some years ago it happened to me too, in several attempts going for months without realizing that DM has brought me to such depths that the body long long ago was not capable to cope and it started expressing extreme detachement, depression and unhapiness and there was no love, joy etc. Awareness, peace and bliss on the other hand happened often. Yet I could not see that this was overboard and thought it was even good the way it is. None of this remains or even happens when the practice is well balanced.
So it can be done well. It is up to you :)
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Electra
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2012 : 9:06:19 PM
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Thank you everyone for your considerate responses:) I have been mulling them over, and I've realized that I continue to have more questions. I understand that it seems the case that my loved one's experience (and mine, correspondingly) is not necessarily the AYP recommended course of action. But I wonder, how typical is it? It would seem that everyone who has been kind enough to respond recognizes this "pitfall" of spiritual pursuit, and some have experienced it themselves. Is there a trend, a general timeframe, or is it unique for every individual? By this I mean, how long does it last? Is there any way to know? An end in sight? For instance, I was assured on many occasions that it would get better, only to have it continue ad nauseum.
As for the assertion that " The only places we interact are on the forums and the occasional retreat, which is entirely your choice," I wonder, how many others in AYP have formed lasting and energy/attention/time intensive relationships with others in AYP, either on the forums or in private interactions, "sub-groups" for lack of a better term, to the exclusion of nurturing their relationships prior to AYP? My experience as a family member was that I felt I had been replaced by other seekers, whose beliefs and language correlated with what my partner was seeking, that he was all too happy to be open with, lovingly help those whose practices he shared. The compassion, openness, selflessness was certainly present, but from the outside looking in, it appeared that it was reserved for AYPers, rather than for those of us still in the dark. Is this balance? |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2012 : 10:23:18 PM
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Hi Electra
quote:
Is there a trend, a general timeframe, or is it unique for every individual? By this I mean, how long does it last? Is there any way to know? An end in sight? For instance, I was assured on many occasions that it would get better, only to have it continue ad nauseum.
There are parallels that can be drawn between just about anything, but personally I see every journey as unique. Meaning there are no definite timeframes for perception shifts, which is what I believe is required for someone to recognize the "pitfall" you are describing in this thread (which I do not believe everyone involved in dedicated spiritual practices will fall prey to). It takes time/experience, awareness, honesty and a willingness to look closely at ourselves in order to become adept at recognizing when the balance between regular living and the drive for self-realization is off. This doesn't seem to happen overnight and what catalyzes our perspectives to shift to deeper levels of clarity is going to be different for everyone. I believe that a well balanced set of practices that cultivates "the witness" is, in general, going to help most though.
quote:
My experience as a family member was that I felt I had been replaced by other seekers, whose beliefs and language correlated with what my partner was seeking, that he was all too happy to be open with, lovingly help those whose practices he shared.
This, in my opinion, is (another) result of an imbalanced approach to practices or bhakti allowed to run wild (others may disagree). I'm quite sure that, at least during certain points in my journey, my wife has felt exactly the same way as you (I may actually point her towards this thread in hopes that she will comment if it feels right to her). For me, the profoundly positive effects of beginning a consistent set of daily AYP practices had me so wrapped up in trying to get all I could from AYP, as fast as possible, that I was neglecting the situations and the people directly in front of me in favor of the conversations and relationships built around my spritual practices. In a way I was closed off to anything that wasn't percieved as being "spiritually oriented." The drive for spiritual unfoldment had me so utterly consumed that I lost all ability/desire to enjoy the regular things in life, which in hindsight are just as valuable if not more so, and all I cared about was becoming "enlightened" or whatever. I realize now though, that being so hyper-focused was actually slowing down progress and not speeding it up. Only since relaxing my focus and bhakti for "liberation" have I found my life filled with much more love, joy, awe, wonder, respect, gratitude and opportunity for opening then I was experiencing when the balance was way off.
quote:
The compassion, openness, selflessness was certainly present, but from the outside looking in, it appeared that it was reserved for AYPers, rather than for those of us still in the dark.
For me, when the balance was off there was a subtle level of separation created that was very hard to recognize. Sort of an "us" and "them" mentality that I had an unconscious resistance towards investigating into. After the perspective shift that resulted in my seeing the imbalance for what it was, it was much easier to start to recognize the similarities between myself and others (including those with no spiritual inclinations) and to let go of the subtle feelings I had unconsciously bought into of being "better" or "more advanced" or on a "higher path" or whatever. Now that I am much closer to being "in-balance" there is the same amount of drive to unfold to greater depths of potential as there is to enjoy the beauty of even the most mundane and ordinary of moments. This, to me, is balance.... or at least a lot closer to it than I was before.
Thanks again for being so willing to share this inquiry with us.
Love!
Carson
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2012 : 05:35:38 AM
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Hi Electra,
You have really made me think this question through.
I don't think there is an answer. I don't see how there can be an answer. Everyone is individual so it's not wrong to have Bakhti running wild, or being completely submerged in AYP or other pursuits. You often see this dedication in Sports and business but it applies equally to every part of life.
It's inherent in humans that single minded purpose brings success. That total focus is required to achieve results.
Is that wrong ?
I left my job because AYP gave me the strength to be authentic. It removed the usual fears and insecurities. I cannot say that it was the correct thing to do, I may well come to regret that decision. I have no idea either way. Was it wrong? Did AYP have too much influence or was it inherent in me anyway ?
People come to spiritual development for many reasons, mostly, from what I can understand it is a mix of running from something, wanting peace, bliss, contentment in every day life. When some of this is experienced it becomes strongly attractive. That is something that also applies to everything in life. It is in effect like a drug. Not just the direct chemical kind but everything that isolates us from something we fear.
I have recently posted about this on this forum.
I recognised something that is I think very important. Any practices will eventually create a cuckoon around us. We can be safe and warm in this cuckoon and will seek to continually strengthen its walls. The real benefit of those walls is to give sufficient breathing space from ourselves. Once we have that it's time to destroy the walls. Everyone has to reach that point in their own good time. Some may never want to leave the cuckoon, they won't even question the authenticity of the structure that they have built around them, it becomes a static, an all encompassing focus and I think that you can die to yourself within that self made tomb. Many may not even recognise what they have built because it just feels so comfortable and right. Many people who are seeking spiritual understanding are unconsciously gathering the materials to create this structure in one way or another.
This is purely an observation and in no way does it mean it is true for everyone, but I recognised this in myself. Luckily I'm not a highly focused person, I get bouts, but I'm not an addictive personality so this absorption only goes so far.
The trap is two fold. One is the membership of something, a community and the drive for success. The other is that the success is incorrect. Like many things in life there is a tendency to forget the reason we began something and focus on the secondary reward. It really is a case of looking at the finger instead of the Moon.
It's like the businessman who makes money to create something, but then it becomes an all consuming task and the money becomes the focus of everything. He goes blind to everything else.
After saying all this, it has to be recognised that this play will go on for as long as it takes to realise that it doesn't work. It will be repeated over and over again like a spawning salmon swimming up stream. I don't think there is any way to break that cycle, it will just have to happen. If it wasn't in AYP it would be in something else.
So, in conclusion there are no guarantees, you just have to swim the best you can and no doubt you will be drowned and lost many times before the lesson is learnt. Maybe it never will be.
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whippoorwill
USA
450 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2012 : 09:14:56 AM
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Hi Electra:
Thank you for your honest and thoughtful post! I don’t have any good answers for you, but I can share a little of my own story, and maybe that will help.
I’m a mom with three daughters ages 15 and 12. The twelve-year-olds are fraternal twins. My husband is a firefighter, who works a 24-hour shift and is often gone longer due to overtime. I’m an independent IT consultant, and I work out of my home except when I have to travel to one of the sites I work for. And I have an extended family with problems that would drive any normal person completely insane.
I found AYP after experiencing what I would characterize as a hormone collapse. I was so completely focused on helping my extended family members solve their problems and on being available for my husband and kids and on doing a good job at work and on keeping up the house, that I ignored my own well-being. And I was so worried about this or that outcome that I became sick. I wound up in the doctors office literally gushing blood mid-cycle. At that point, I was ready to try something, anything to help my body heal. That was a little more than a year ago.
My daily meditation practice amounts to this: before I get the kids out of bed for school, I do 5 minutes of asanas, 5 minutes of spinal breathing, 15 minutes of meditation, 5 minutes of samyama, and 5 minutes of rest. In the afternoon before the kids get home from school, I do 5 minutes of spinal breathing, 15 minutes of meditation and 5 minutes of rest. On the weekends, when the kids are lazing around in their beds in the mornings, I do a bit more. For the most part, the family is completely unaware of my practice. When I first started, my daily practice was simply 20 minutes of meditation before getting the kids up and before the kids returned home. I just added bits on to the meditation as I was ready and as time allowed.
The benefits have been profound – more than I can ever put into a single post. I find myself happily, happily (!!) engaged in life. I find myself doing all the things I did before and more, but there is such a difference: I have the energy to support it, and I am beginning to have the ability to act without all the worry, stress, or fear. I came to AYP not caring at all about enlightenment; I just wanted to heal physically, mentally and spiritually, and AYP has done that for me and more.
Maybe the above will address the “Can I do this, and will this be good for me?” aspect of your question. The other, very important question you have is: “will I, by engaging in these practices, inadvertently harm others?” It’s a concern/fear that I share. I grew up as a preacher’s kid in rural Missouri. I have first-hand experience of the harm people can do when “caught up in the holy spirit.” People think they’re doing the right thing and helping you to become a better person or more God-like or whatever, but actually what they’re doing is a form of direct violence. It’s really hard to put into words. Anyway, one of my worst fears is that I’ll become like that and violate someone’s spirit in the same way. I can’t tell you that we won’t make a mistake because these mistakes are made in ignorance (unawareness) of the harm. Maybe, because of our experiences, we’re less likely to make those mistakes, but I really can’t honestly say that either. The trap is there, and we can fall into it. I practice daily anyway. Meditation lets me be more whole, more myself every day, and to me, that’s worth the risk. I practice with as much awareness as I can and hope for the best.
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whippoorwill
USA
450 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2012 : 11:24:19 AM
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P.S. I have to apologize... There I go again projecting my life story onto someone else.
My experiences don't quite match your situation, which I think is more due to addiction or immoderation rather than violence perpetrated through ignorance. Karl addresses it best in the post above. But I would like to note (as Karl does) that this addiction trap isn't unique to Yoga or AYP. It isn't even unique to spiritual practices in general. How many spouses feel neglected and abandoned when their wives or husbands get completely caught up by their careers? AYP deals with this using the practice of self-pacing. It's up to the practitioner to be aware of the effects of practices on loved ones, health, and daily life. When the practices cause disruption, we're supposed to adjust to a point where the disruption disappears or is at least tolerable for everyone involved. So I guess I would say that awareness is key when it comes to inflicting no harm. To cultivate awareness, we can..... meditate.
All joking aside, I know I'm totally promoting AYP here (because I like it so much!), but I also know where you're coming from. In the end, it's up to you, and whatever decision you make, it will be understood and respected.
Lots of love!
--Liz |
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Electra
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2012 : 3:57:44 PM
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| To all: from the bottom of my heart, thank you. It is not an easy thing to air my pain, my suffering among those I revere as spiritually advanced. You have all helped me, and it is with humility and gratitude that I received your messages. Thank you for taking the time to be thoughtful and considerate toward me. I was very afraid of speaking these perceptions I have, concerned that it would be received as an indictment of AYP. I know on a fundamental level that I have to do something, and I had a strong feeling that the resentment I have had was not fully accurate. I know that I tend to get wrapped up in anger and fear, and it can be pervasive. I will accept your guidance, and I will try, starting slowly, treading carefully. For the first time in a long while, I am optimistic. Once again, thank you. |
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Electra
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2012 : 4:15:01 PM
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| Most of all, I thank you for speaking to me in a way I understand, that I can relate to... I have had a lot of difficulty understanding the rhetoric that tends to be woven into a lot of these threads. I especially appreciate you taking care to "speak my language." I know it can't be easy to communicate the "unspeakable" or "unknowable" truths that you share. Although it does seem that it is all simple, I recognize the difference between "simple" and "easy." |
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mimirom
Czech Republic
368 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2012 : 5:36:51 PM
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Hi Electra,
and a warm welcome to the forums
quote:
Is there a trend, a general timeframe, or is it unique for every individual? By this I mean, how long does it last? Is there any way to know? An end in sight?
I'd like to let you know, that I, too, seem to be going through that cycle, which indeed seems to occur quite regularly.
I joined AYP in October 2008. During the first year and a half, approximately, I developed a very intense routine of practices, spending up to 3 hours a day in sitting practices, plus rather intense asana training + frequent retreats. (I think we could have gone through this somewhat simultaneously with Carson.) I really thought a was doing very well (I had impressive spiritual experiences) and soon ended up completely immersed in my world. After some two years of this, energy problems started and after one more year a was forced to stop practices altogether, in order to reconnect myself to the gross world. So I've not been practicing for four and a half months now and I feel that I'm slowly forming the necessary perspective to find much better balance, once I start to meditate again. I don't want to do as many practices as soon as possible anymore.
So far, this process took some 3.5 - 4 years. Of course everyone is different. This is what happened with me. |
Edited by - mimirom on May 20 2012 5:43:51 PM |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - May 22 2012 : 05:24:52 AM
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Welcome, Electra!
There are essentially 2 related issues here: Your husband's situation with AYP and what we would call "overdoing it," and YOUR own situation and how it might be affected by a yoga practice.
First, I defer to what everybody said, above. They've been there.
For me, the ideal would be that the husband and wife do the practices together and be part of that same sangha, which in fact will happen if you are doing the practice as well.
Having said that, his experience is not your experience. You are already very other-oriented and I would suspect, tend to neglect yourself. This is not uncommon among women, as culture encourages it. But if we just give and give and are not nourished from the Source ourselves, then eventually we have nothing left to give to others. From what you have described I believe you would benefit from AYP practices and maybe even find some common ground with your husband, who clearly needs a bit of grounding. By the way, you might investigate the tantra lessons as a very nice "common ground" that you could share yogically.
All the best to you! |
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Anxiety about starting an AYP practice
