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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 18 2012 : 07:58:24 AM
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all is good ..all is flowing but sometimes especially when i wake up i feel i am not in the mood to be maheswari anymore...had enough of wearing my clothes,put my make up (which is only a bit of blush powder loll) and go out to play that maheswari role....it is not depression cause i end up getting up,do my morning sittings and all day long i am active and all smiles ....the waves of thoughts(positive and negative) are easily let go...welcoming them and much more easily dissolving them into the witness...even the thoughts and feelings that sting like needles...lately i realized that those thoughts and feelings are not me..and that in fact me is only a shadow...a character from a story...
tears might appear but it is a catharsis...
now i know for sure that Happiness does not need the presence of a partner,good work, etc....Happiness does not need the whole 9 yards...
i know happiness for no specific reason...i will be looking at a nice painting and i would feel that time has stopped...falling into eternity...there is only awareness of the painting...
also sometimes at the end of the day after finishing all activities and meeting mundane people , i can not wait to go back home...to my cocoon...enough of maheswari role playing for today!
but it is not depression....is it the dispassion stage of the witness?
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2012 : 08:58:23 AM
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I think it's easy to create dispassion when it really isn't present..
The first thing that strikes me is that you want to get back to the cocoon, it's a preference which means you have a like/ dislike for something so that is clearly no dispassion.
It is easy to get into a state of belief where even preference vanishes, yet still it isn't dispassion. I thought I was once, now I'm not that easily deluded, you have to climb the hill a few times before recognising the symptoms of that delusion. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2012 : 09:09:19 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
....is it the dispassion stage of the witness?
I was reading your post and telling myself.... sounds like a mix of discrimination and dispassion phase.  once you are in the dispassion phase, there is no wanting to get back into the cocoon... you are natually there... almost feels like walking around in a bubble..
Keep going and enjoy!!!!
As Yogani and Ananda say... good things are happening.
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2012 : 09:11:16 AM
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I think it's a big desert to cross, many times there are mirages that give false hope, times when you come on an oasis and think your set for the long haul only to get lost in a sand storm and give up all hope of reaching the destination.
It happens many, many times and you come to realise that it's the mind that plays the tricks of success, despair, hope and failure. It's a separate journey to the one you are on. It creates it's own twists and turns even while the path is arrow straight and pretends the twists are dead ends.
Eventually you just see it for what it is, you and the desert, the destination was an illusion, all the time it was just the mind playing tricks. The desert is neither enemy or friend, it just is, as you just are. There is no fear I think then, no suffering.
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2012 : 10:36:35 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
[quote]Originally posted by maheswari
As Yogani and Ananda say... good things are happening.
A+ |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2012 : 12:20:52 PM
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| Thx for u replies everybody....hmmmm i dont know where i am ...it is not really important to know....will just let it happen (as if i have a choice lolll).....but karl as u said i still have a liking for the cocoon so no dispassion yet...on the contrary too much passion...lolllll... |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2012 : 1:04:52 PM
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For a while I was living in a state of dispassion as opposed to real dispassion. Intuitively I now understand there is no journey except to the self, probably why it is often called "the way" and not "the path". Always going inwards, just like you said, spiralling into the awareness from which all objects manifest.
I don't think you can know where you, or when you are because the deeper we go the more we expand until we encompass everything. Once we metaphorically reach the point we have become infinite, there is no more time and space to move into, because effectively we are all there is and will ever be. Then we see that we never did move, we are the journey and the journeyman, but that comprehension would be meaningless because there cannot be a conclusion to infinity.
That must be our natural condition and I don't think it is possible to pin point a position when everything is expanding. It's like saying you have just reached the town you live in, only to find you have already expanded beyond the fringes of the Earth. By the time you thought you were near Jupiter you had expanded beyond the galaxy.
I just get on with it now, I don't care ( that's probably the only bit of true dispassion I have). After plodding up the hill so many times, I have surrendered the will to have any interest about how far up or down, or how long it will take. Things are happening, or things are not happening, where once there stood a timetable and map that filled a space, now it has all crumbled to dust, nothing remains of the bright shiny expectations and hopes that created them. That sounds kind of sad, but instead it is liberation from that attachment, possibly the first chink of freedom is freedom from the tool that is used to do the digging unhindered.
Anyway it's happening for all of us in our space and time and according to how it should be and will be. I stopped counting a while back and feel no need to start again. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2012 : 1:46:43 PM
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Maps and timetables have burnt into ashes since few years...life teaches us and we often learn the hard way .....in short the lesson is: nothing is controlled by us...so better to take ur hands of the driving wheel unless u wamt your fingers to get burnt...today my car window was broken. Someone stole my laptop that was in the car....very good lesson (again and again) about surrender and to stop organizing ... |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2012 : 1:56:22 PM
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| Yes thats very true. Always the hard way, that's the only way to understand anything, by making mistakes we discover and learn. I'm mostly glad for the lessons, but not yet to the stage where everything is treated with the same dispassion. As long as we have Bakhti and the inner Guru it will work itself out. |
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lufa1212
India
45 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2012 : 2:12:40 PM
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quote:
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Originally posted by Karl
[quote] Originally posted by maheshwari
I think it's a big desert to cross, many times there are mirages that give false hope, times when you come on an oasis and think your set for the long haul only to get lost in a sand storm and give up all hope of reaching the destination.
It happens many, many times and you come to realise that it's the mind that plays the tricks of success, despair, hope and failure. It's a separate journey to the one you are on. It creates it's own twists and turns even while the path is arrow straight and pretends the twists are dead ends.
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Mind and its various tricks ...you have put it so aptly, karl. 
Love
Lufa
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2012 : 04:08:24 AM
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| dispassion or passion? like and dislike? it matters not. feelings come and go in the divine drama. when somebody breaks your car window and takes your laptop it really sucks and the appropriate human feelings arise in the moment and maybe you are temporarily distracted from Being Consciousness Bliss... at times we grow weary of playing the role but then realize there is nobody to be weary because that, too, is part of the role. are we being "truly dispassionate"? according to whose expectations? who makes up these rules? the Divine is experiencing life in us as us, here and now. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2012 : 04:32:06 AM
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quote:
the appropriate human feelings arise in the moment and maybe you are temporarily distracted from Being Consciousness Bliss... at times we grow weary of playing the role but then realize there is nobody to be weary because that, too, is part of the role.
u nailed it dear Radha...this is exactly where i stand |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2012 : 04:49:37 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
quote:
the appropriate human feelings arise in the moment and maybe you are temporarily distracted from Being Consciousness Bliss... at times we grow weary of playing the role but then realize there is nobody to be weary because that, too, is part of the role.
u nailed it dear Radha...this is exactly where i stand
I hear ya - totally. |
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