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richilincez
Italy
24 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 17 2012 : 7:31:56 PM
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In truth, I know what I am writing might be mainly for reassurance.
I have been regurarly practicing DM for 5 months now, I lost only two sittings so far.
I am writing for two issues. The first, is that nothing has happened. My mind is still as neurotic as before, and really, nothing changed. Same useless and pointless life concerns and mind-mazes, and so on.
Regarding the quality of my DM, it is very foggy. I start by repeating the mantra, and I drift off many times. All regular here. When I realize it, I go back to the mantra. When I just follow the procedure, my meditation feels like the brink of sleep. I realize I am thinking, and I can perceive the thoughs and the mantra (and when I perceive, I go back to the mantra), but everything is very unclear, foggy, in the middle between conscious and not.
I checked out the advices for under-sensitive meditators by Yogani, and it doesn't look to me like I am doing anything wrong.
I am wondering if I am misunderstanding the concept of easiness with that of laziness. Indeed the effort I put to meditate is so little that it feels lazy and passive. Any advice?
I try to do it as naturally as it comes, from my understanding of Yogani's work, and I try to add the smallest amount fo mentalization.
Even if I know the right quality of letting go will come with time, questions popped out.
I persevered with faith, and I will.
Thanks for the help
Riccardo |
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boris
Norway
68 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2012 : 10:01:04 PM
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| Make sure you are fresh and awake when you meditate,my best meditations are always in the morning or after sleep.If i am tired I cant enter silence |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Jan 18 2012 : 02:06:22 AM
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dear Riccardo
do you really expect that 5 months of practice will "cure the neurotic mind" that we carry since the day we are born not to mention all our previous lifes? ...yoga is life journey and it is a marathon not a sprint...keep doing your practices and improvements will start to appear,they are bound to
as for the foggy meditation...rest assured that it is NOT sleep, your nervous system is being purified from old samskaras..it is undergoing a large sweeping at the subconscious level.....
actually meditation is not about effort. it is just sitting on your cushion and letting the session unfold by itself...there is no effort,no sweating so to speak...the only effort is that we continuously bring our attention back to the mantra when we drift of....
try not to intellectualize the yoga techinques you are doing...sit when it is the time to sit and welcome whatever pops out, dont fight it, but also dont get carried away with it...this is how letting go is established
as you prefectly said, it is all about perseverance
Love |
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kaserdar
91 Posts |
Posted - Jan 18 2012 : 09:33:18 AM
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Hello Riccardo,
First of all you are doing everything correct. Most of my meditation sessions are like you describe. Not much happens during sessions but effect are felt clearly during the day. I'm in my third year and started feeling the effects after like 9 months. So just relax, know that you are doing correct and continue practicing with trust. Also adding SBP to your practice might be good idea. |
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richilincez
Italy
24 Posts |
Posted - Jan 18 2012 : 6:14:05 PM
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Thanks everybody for helping.
@Kaserdar, thanks your answer brings even more trust, because it is empathic with my own experience.
I have got one other question, regarding the issue of laziness.
I feel like I am being lazy when meditating. Of course, if I notice it during DM, I go back to the mantra. As a general consideration though; is it ok or easiness is not laziness? I remeber indeed that Yogani describes DM as an active process, somewhere.
Any ideas? I know, just go back to the mantra :D |
Edited by - richilincez on Jan 18 2012 6:36:47 PM |
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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Jan 18 2012 : 9:13:25 PM
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Hey Riccardo.
It sounds OK. There's sometimes a sleep/dream-like state that happens while off the mantra. Is that what you're talking about? It's basically an awake dream. And sometimes in that state there is a feeling of 'hey, this is a dream' but it doesn't quite click that you're off the mantra. That is totally fine, and actually quite good. I believe it is the 'yogi nidra' mentioned in the lessons, or yogic sleep. Some other time when you meditate, you might be very awake and at the surface level of thoughts. And then some other time you might be very present, and also feeling deep with the mantra. All the different experiences happen in cycles and stages. The fogginess right now will change to something else the next day, or the next month. And all through it, just the same procedure. It sounds like you've got it down ... "back to the mantra" |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Jan 19 2012 : 02:10:39 AM
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hi Riccardo
easiness is NOT laziness....the ease of Being as Jean Kolein would say...Being is relaxed despite being active...stillness in action...
quote:
The fogginess right now will change to something else the next day, or the next month.
very true, each sitting is different....one passes by different alternating phases (fogginess then agitation then ...) all these phases and manifestations appearing on the surface of Consciouness will pass and subside.... |
Edited by - maheswari on Jan 19 2012 02:13:16 AM |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Jan 19 2012 : 02:43:44 AM
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| Have you been following the rest of the lessons such as sexual energy and pranayama? Maybe you need to work on the energetic aspects of yoga so that your meditation will not feel as dull |
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richilincez
Italy
24 Posts |
Posted - Jan 19 2012 : 03:28:14 AM
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@JHD: yes, the experience is similar to the one you describe. I am awake, and I go back to the mantra on and on, but the thoughts I drift off are so dreamy that I barely notice the content. They flow and go and leave no trace. This is the same I do with the mantra, I try not to judge its "form", I just repeat it, whatever comes.
May I indulge in a reflection? I noticed that when I go back to the mantra, this disables the "comments" of the mind, and therefore if there is just mantra, and it cannot be judged, I feel I am perceiving/not perceiving it at the same time. I think this is the meaning of the soundless sound in Zen. This is somehow why I speak about fogginess too, because it is not a state of observation, because I don't "see" anything, it's being conscious without being totally conscious of being conscious.
@Victor: yes, I started Pranayama but I am taking everything very easily, because I want to be strong in the foundation. I do not think I will try anything else for at least six months.
I started by trying to learn to breathe before moving my attention. And somewhow when in DM I feel more sharp, indeed.
Last, my DM is not very pleasurable, but I know it is not supposed to be. Somehow, though, after the final "rest", I am so inside that it requires some willpower to go back to the exterior.
Enough with mentalization for me!
Thanks to everybody.
Grazie (from Italy :D) !
Riccardo |
Edited by - richilincez on Jan 19 2012 03:39:03 AM |
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Foggy DM, and nothing happening
