|
|
 |
|
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
TheWinniken
USA
15 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 25 2011 : 5:48:37 PM
|
Hello, before I get started on the problem I'll give some background. I am a 16 year old male and I'm what's known as an Over Thinker and have a fear of humiliation. While I managed to stay happy for most my life this has led me to think myself into a rut where I felt extremely scared and depressed on several days, and recently, because I have made a lot of new friends and got a girlfriend, it has gotten worse and I constantly make up problems that aren't there, so this has made me feel happy one day and then depressed/anxious the next day, but it wasn't too bad, as it was just a mild sense of dread and anxiety. So I recently started doing this thing known as a Body Scan meditation, but it was pretty obvious that I was extremely sensitive to it right off the bat, but I was not aware of this at the time, and it got to a really bad point. On the first night I fell asleep, and I was calm the next morning. The second night it made my head hurt a lot, and I had to stop in the middle of it. On the third night I was pretty much having to force it, and on the fourth night I had to sit up in bed several times and take a break before I finished it, but when I did I had a severe headache, and usually where it had put my mind at ease, it had made my thoughts run even more wild. This made me wake up in the middle of the night and I could not go back to sleep. When I got up I was very tired and lethargic, and I felt constant dread and anxiety, and I was scared to talk to any of my friends. Soon I did go to sleep and I wasn't tired anymore, but the anxiety and dread remained, even though I had went to the mountains later that day.
That was what had happened recently up until I decided to do DM starting yesterday. I did the practice meditation yesterday afternoon, 10 minutes, I was also extremely sensitive to DM and I had felt a headache during it, and I was sweating for a good hour after I had finished even though it was cold in my house, and I felt constant tingling along my back and my neck. It was my first practice and I didn't know how long the resting period had to be, so I rested for 3 minutes. The second meditation I did yesterday at night I toned it down to 5 minutes meditation and did 10 minutes of resting time, I was however interrupted during the resting period for about 4 minutes, and counted it as part of my resting time. I had a very mild headache after that, and no sweating, and I was calm. Later that night I had a sudden moment of what I would describe as pure joy: I felt tingles along my entire body constantly, I felt so alive and happy, and then it turned into extreme calm, and the only thoughts that I had were ones that I consciously thought of, none of the usual intrusive and overbearing thoughts that I usually had. Just to test it I thought of something that would usually cause me dread and anxiety, and as soon as I thought of it the thought went away and I felt no anxiety. This lasted for about 20 minutes, then I got a bit anxious after that but still calmer than on usual days, with very slight anxiety. That night I had a nightmare, and when I woke up I saw a flash. Then I went back to bed and I had another nightmare, and when I woke up my body was tingling and my shoulders were constantly twitching. This morning I woke up with a feeling of moderate dread and anxiety, and I did my meditation, this time going with 4 minutes of meditation and 15 minutes rest time, with no interruptions. I felt really calm right after, and I went to go for a morning run. Afterwards I felt phenomenal, and really happy. But 2 hours later, the dread and anxiety returned, and it felt a little worse, but then 2 hours later I felt the happiness and joy with minimal anxiety again. I want to know if I'm still overloading on DM, and what anyone would suggest. I would also like to know where these constant mood swings are coming from, as before it would happen over the course of a day, but now it happens every few hours. Is AYP right for me or should I switch to a different type of meditation? Again, I'm a 16 year old male, if that helps any. Also, sorry for the long post, I just wanted to describe it in as much detail so as to answer any possible questions anyone might have. Thanks in advance for any helpful tips and Merry Christmas to all  |
Edited by - TheWinniken on Dec 25 2011 6:58:07 PM |
|
|
karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Dec 25 2011 : 7:06:29 PM
|
Welcome The Winniken.
I suggest you read http://www.aypsite.org/160.html which gives some help to over sensitive meditators. Your experiencing rapid clearances with little effort which is good, but extremely rough. |
 |
|
|
TheWinniken
USA
15 Posts |
Posted - Dec 25 2011 : 7:41:08 PM
|
| Thank you karl, I will try this now Another thing that I experienced that I forgot to mention was during rest this morning I saw like a bright green vertical line when my eyes were closed, and a dark wave kept washing over it, and it happened over and over again. I won't let any of this discourage me though, as it is only my second day of meditation. |
|
|
|
karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2011 : 06:03:06 AM
|
quote:
Originally posted by TheWinniken
Thank you karl, I will try this now Another thing that I experienced that I forgot to mention was during rest this morning I saw like a bright green vertical line when my eyes were closed, and a dark wave kept washing over it, and it happened over and over again. I won't let any of this discourage me though, as it is only my second day of meditation.
It's all just scenery, but in your case it is very strong and closer to an hallucination than something in the imagination. Also at your age your still going through a time of strong emotions anyway. It was around that time when I had an out of body experience without much effort and scared myself silly. I suspect that the younger you are, the stronger and more real these experiences become.
Can i ask What are you looking for from your spiritual efforts? What is driving you to do them? |
|
|
|
TheWinniken
USA
15 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2011 : 10:24:25 AM
|
| Well, with the whole overthinking problem that I have, I tend to put a strain on relationships with friends and my girlfriend, and I don't want to end up driving them all away. Also because I'd like to put my mind at ease. Humans in general think too much, but I think too much by human standards, and that's a lot, haha. So this causes a constant feeling of worry and anxiety as I create problems in my head that aren't there, even on days that I feel happy. So I want to ease my mind of all this stress and worry |
|
|
|
karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2011 : 11:16:14 AM
|
We all do that
I think you might find it beneficial to read Byron Katie's book 'loving what is'. This would challenge the over thinking and stories.
One thing about your current quest is that you are looking for a way to settle the mind. This is one way to have desire to practices, but can lead to inner conflict as you progress because it leads to an expectation of results. It is difficult to measure progress and this can result in further over thinking and intellectualising which creates a self made wall.
We do need the desire to change in order to practise, but it should be tempered with an equal and opposite intent to have no expectations. It avoids the bind of feeling let down when practises don't seem to be getting results, commonly resulting in a lack of desire to continue practises and disillusionment.
|
|
|
|
TheWinniken
USA
15 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2011 : 11:28:33 AM
|
| I do subconsciously think of results, but I consciously know that there is a possibility that there will be seemingly no results, and I know that every meditation is important, and has a long term effect. So I don't feel disappointment when a meditation is seemingly fruitless, it doesn't deter me and I meditate all the same the next time. Also, I made a promise to myself and my brother that I won't stop meditating, regardless of what happens. Also, I heard of that book, my brother told me about it. I plan to read that after I am done with The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle |
Edited by - TheWinniken on Dec 26 2011 1:45:06 PM |
|
|
|
karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2011 : 1:00:35 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by TheWinniken
I do subconsciously think of results, but I consciously know that there is a possibility that there will be seemingly no results, and I know that every meditation is important, and has a long term effect. So I don't feel disappointment when a meditation is seemingly fruitless, it doesn't deter me and I meditate all the same the next time. Also, I made a promise to myself that I won't stop meditating, regardless of what happens. Also, I heard of that book, my brother told me about it. I plan to read that after I am done with The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
that's strong resolve. The power of now is a good read. |
|
|
|
TheWinniken
USA
15 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2011 : 1:13:05 PM
|
| It is, it's sure helped me a lot Also, update on the situation, I did the meditation last night and this morning 5 minutes DM and 10 minutes rest, this time adding the full lotus I believe it's called, and laying down during the rest. This morning I rested for 12 minutes as I had seen the lights again, and was petting my dog the whole time resting because he wouldn't leave me alone, which I don't think should have any negative effects. Then I stood up, but my head started to hurt a lot, and there was an odd pain in my chest. I rested for another 5 minutes and put focus on the areas of discomfort, and they dissipated quickly and I was able to stand up. Later they came back and right now I have a severe headache, and I have the same pain in my chest, it starts at the space right below the space that is between the breasts, and goes up to my throat. Is this caused by overloading or what? |
|
|
|
SeySorciere
Seychelles
1553 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2011 : 03:02:19 AM
|
Dear TheWinniken - yes, the headache is most likely due to overloading and the pain in the heart /throat area could be purification /openings happening there. It would appear you are overloading not just on DM, but mostly on bhakti (desire/devotion) - that is, you are spending too much time on one form of spiritual undertaking like reading Tolle, spending time here and other readings, which is all adding up. You should consider cutting back on the reading material, having spiritual discussions etc. Do the DM sittings twice daily and spend the time between in ordinary, everyday life.
Sey |
|
|
|
TheWinniken
USA
15 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2011 : 11:46:05 AM
|
| It's been a while since I have read Tolle, or any spiritual book/text. Last time I read any book in general was before starting DM. If I am still overloading on DM with just 5 minutes of meditation and 15 minutes rest twice daily, what do you suggest? Should I try a less powerful form of meditation and see if that helps any? |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
| AYP Public Forum |
© Contributing Authors (opinions and advice belong to the respective authors) |
|
|
|
|
Constant mood swings
