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Jivaakabhasana_Yogi
USA
49 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 5:37:05 PM
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Aauummm Jai Ganapati Ki Ji!
Aauummm Shanti Shanti Shanti,
Many times I've read Yogani as saying that far more important than the scenery on the way during formal practice, is its resulting influence on the rest of our lives.
As I'd mentioned when I first joined the forum, as I grew up I'd be "diagnosed" with varied developmental issues, chief amongst them what is termed Autism Spectrum Disorder. I'd not ever been able to deal with any kind of emotional stressors, and communication was all but impossible for me on any meaningful level.
It has been a while now since I have been utilizing the AYP methodology in regards to my practice/sadhana, and have had plenty of scenery to get distracted by, but have tried to hold on to Yogani's telling of the marathon, not the sprint, the long term results, not the "window dressings along the way."
I can remember 2 years ago, when I moved back to California with my good friend here, how distorted my view of reality was, and how, to use Byron Katie's words, "I believed my own lies", the shoulds and shouldn'ts and stories as such...when I'd arrived, UPS had literally destroyed my own custom built computer system (that I used for work.) COMPLETELY DESTROYED...and I remember the RAGE, the anxiety, the hatred, the fear, the complete and utter out of control reactivity that I had enslaved myself to...it was "the end of my world", I felt suffocating/dying, etc... (with my "disabilities", this was a common to similar experience for me, I just couldn't cope with reality, couldn't "love what simply is..."
I came home from the gym today, and we had a high voltage surge, threw all the breakers in my house, blew the UPS, fried the power supply in my CPU, etc...
First thing I did was to call Troya (she's my roomate),and explain what happened (she works for the Power Company), and my heart and mind began to flash to the incident two years ago that she witnessed...I was throwing things, breaking glass, tvs, doors and windows, spewing rage, hatred fear and anger, breaking blood vessels with high blood pressure in my neck and face...etc...
All of the sudden, the Stillness, the Silence, welled up from deep, DEEP within me, it surged first in the body, then the emotions, the mind...
It was/is ABSOLUTELY "drunkeningly blissful." First an inner smile formed, it filled me bodily, then energetically...no movement, there was no one to be "hurt, upset, angry "fried", hateful, fearful, etc..." no "thing" to be angry "about." Tears of peace and joy began to flow and I experienced the dissolving of deeply set fear (probably from infancy) that "I was not heard", "I was invisible", "I was powerless and a victim."
When this occured two years back, I fought and battled HP, made things MUCH worse, had no control, and complete investment in how things "should" happen...Now, not only did this simply not "effect" me, it certainly did! The effect was to completely deconstruct my identification with those fears and anxieties...Similar to Y-hv-w in the Torah, tossing our wrongdoings in the sea of forgetfulness, as far as the East is from the West.
Having had lifelong "yogic wiring" and yet lacking the wisdom in how to utilize it in a balanced self regulating way...the Universe saw fit to encourage Yogani to bring AYP forward in the form that he has done...It has, beyond any doubt whatsoever, completely tranformed, and continually transforms, my life.
I am just exuding gratefulness, to each and all of you right now...
Thanks Yogani, thanks AYP members,
~Jivaakabhasana Yogi |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 11:34:51 PM
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"The fruits of (y)our labor" indeed! Good on you! This was an inspiring experience and I for one am glad you shared it.
Thank you.
Love!
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Jaycee
United Kingdom
48 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 05:30:15 AM
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Well done! Letting things be as they are and not reacting is something I'm struggling with at the moment.
Thanks for your inspiring post. |
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amoux
United Kingdom
266 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 06:15:44 AM
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| That's such an amazing experience. I am so glad for you [:) |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 08:09:35 AM
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| Thanks for sharing this Jivaakabhasana Yogi. Very inspiring indeed. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 12:05:32 PM
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I thought of you this morning Jivaakabhasana Yogi as I used to have to serious "rage-o-mania" myself.....and when someone ran into me (car accident) this morning I remembered how I would have acted in the past....I probably would have got out of my car and punched him in the face then smashed his windsheild with a tire iron or something, but today....totally different story....he was really upset, swearing and obviously quite upset....but I didn't get mad, and in fact actually tried to comfort him instead, telling him it was ok, and that I was fine and was not upset with him....totally uncharacteristic for the "Carson of old".....AYP has done wonders for my life as well.
Love!
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Edited by - CarsonZi on Feb 17 2010 12:06:55 PM |
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YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 1:37:02 PM
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| Thank you Jivaakabhasana Yogi for a very inspiring post, and a moving story. May your labour continue to bare fruit. |
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Rael
USA
173 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 4:19:12 PM
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 Wow...after this i won't need any more inspirational stories!....WoW again!
Thank you for this! |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 4:59:34 PM
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Thank You Jivaakabhasana Yogi.
You are really great!!!!!!!!!
LOVE,
Yonatan |
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Kirtanman
USA
1651 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 7:35:12 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Jivaakabhasana_Yogi
Having had lifelong "yogic wiring" and yet lacking the wisdom in how to utilize it in a balanced self regulating way...the Universe saw fit to encourage Yogani to bring AYP forward in the form that he has done...It has, beyond any doubt whatsoever, completely tranformed, and continually transforms, my life.
I am just exuding gratefulness, to each and all of you right now...
Thanks Yogani, thanks AYP members,
~Jivaakabhasana Yogi
Hi Jivaakabhasana Yogi,
Thanks for sharing this; I concur, big-time! I've started to notice that many people tend to be upset quite a bit, in one way or another. They feel that something is not right; their job, their behavior, their partner's behavior; "the world", or whatever it may be.
And then, I'll remember: I spent a lifetime like that, dreaming those bad dreams, too!
Patanjali said it best, and perhaps most clearly:
"Yoga {Unity} is the absence of mind-modifications."
Peace is the natural state. Ego agitation is based on a whole series of mistaken ideas we think of as our self.
What's really cool (I just noticed this, right now) .... is that more and more of us are not only saying "AYP Works" ... but saying so consistently, and sharing the same experiences of peace, of awareness, of love.
Wow, this is beautiful.
And for anyone who's not experiencing this yet: don't worry; you will.
All you have to do is practice daily, and be willing to let go; everything else will take care of itself .... because that's what this beautiful Universe we each and all are now does, when we let it. There's only One.
Wholeheartedly,
Kirtanman
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Edited by - Kirtanman on Feb 17 2010 7:37:11 PM |
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Jivaakabhasana_Yogi
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 7:59:26 PM
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Ad Gur' Nameh, Jugad Gur' Nameh, Sad Gur' Nameh, Sri Gur'Dev' Nameh...
I SO agree Kirtanman,
You said:
quote:
All you have to do is practice daily, and be willing to let go; everything else will take care of itself .... because that's what this beautiful Universe we each and all are now does, when we let it. There's only One.
One of the lifelong issues for me, being someone who was "yogically wired" was that not only did I pay attention to the "scenery" I revelled in it...I was and remain very capable of "pushing through and creating/activating yogic/shaktic phenomenon...and based my life experience upon this.
As a very young (very young) child, I experienced the Unbounded, what I call the "Everlasting Ocean of Prem", and have sought over and over again to go "back there." I was so distracted by, and addicted to yogic experience that I would literally blow out my wiring and have all kind of bad side effects, and heal, then do it again, for years and years.
Now, with the A.Y.P. approach, I have made it part of my practice to allow the scenery if it occurs, but to remain unattached, and notice when I am becoming/are attached to it. In doing so, the only way I can describe it, is that in surrendering/letting go of "experiences", what used to be overpowering yogic phenomenon, have "sunk deeper" in my beingness, than ever before... The power of these shaktis have instead dropped deeply into the body, mind and emotions, and create lasting change...then when window dressing does appear, it is usually not during formal practice, but as a manifestation of it, during my "normal" everyday life.
Where your attention flows, your energy goes, so it is said; a large part of my practice, is to step back and allow the flow to simply "be what it is" and not manipulate or seek to control it...So I guess I could say that my "attention" is "flowing back 'upstream'" to its source and allowed to reside in there...this beats any windowdressing or "experience" imaginable.
As Nike says: "Just DO it" (or don't do it! ROFL)
Regards,
Jivaakabhasana Yogi |
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Rael
USA
173 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 8:38:55 PM
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 Thank you again and again! |
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