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wisya
United Kingdom
27 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 05 2011 : 01:18:45 AM
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I have now spent many months following the AYP path with the I am mantra and a month or two before that with my own mantra. This morning I've decided to go back to breath awareness meditation for the following reasons.
1. I find mantra meditation (MM) isn't clicking no matter what I do
2. MM is so easily disturbed by outside sounds
3. MM can make me cranky even with self pacing
4. I know its not the real aim but I rarely go deep
5. I find it an effort. On the rare occasions it works it because I seem to be listening instead of actively making it happen but I can't recreate this
6. I feel no daily benefits from my practice
7. It can take my whole session before I seem to get anywhere
With breath meditation (starting with So Hum mantra and dropping later to silence), well how can I put it, none of the above I guess. I go deep almost instantly, rarely get distracted, experience mild bliss states and feel much better and clear all day afterwards. I feel that it makes me a better person. I do admit that I have had a few good sessions with I am mantra but they are few and far between. With my breath awareness almost all are good sessions so feel like its worth it.
So folks my question is, even though this is not strictly AYP, can I do the rest of the practices and stick to my So Ham? This morning I did my usual 3mins of Nadi shodhana, 10min spinal breathing followed by 20min So Hum and it was wonderful.
I read Yoganis link to the left about modifications to the system and he encourages everyone to write about their experience so others can learn so that is what I've done. Hope this doesn't make me a heretic
Lots of love
Wisya
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Jul 05 2011 : 12:12:37 PM
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Hi Wisya,
As Yogani says in the end of every post: The Guru is in You.
I'd probably agree that it's best not to dogmatically follow any system which doesn't seem to work you. For example in my case, I find the spinal breathing practise and immensely powerful addition to my practise, but DM on the mantra became completely unworkable for me in the last 6 months.
I just found even 2 minutes would make me very cranky. So I reverted to breath-watching meditation, complimented by SBP, as I intuitively felt I should, and this has had a very favourable improvement on my practise.
From time to time, I will revert to DM AYP style, to check if it still causes the same problems, and if I can revert to it.
:-) |
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psychicexplorer
USA
35 Posts |
Posted - Jul 05 2011 : 7:26:21 PM
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| When I felt stuck with the "I Am" mantra I switched over to the next mantra enhancement...seemed to work well for me. |
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trip1
USA
739 Posts |
Posted - Jul 07 2011 : 9:05:52 PM
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Hi wisya,
I've tried to answer your post based on my personal six years of AYP meditation. Your mileage may vary. 
quote:
Originally posted by wisya
I have now spent many months following the AYP path with the I am mantra and a month or two before that with my own mantra. This morning I've decided to go back to breath awareness meditation for the following reasons.
1. I find mantra meditation (MM) isn't clicking no matter what I do
This sounds like you are looking for a certain state which defines the meditation as working, or as you put it, "clicking". In my own practice, I've found this outlook to be flawed. Although there are many states which can occur during meditation practice, the practice itself is working whether we can feel it clicking or not.
2. MM is so easily disturbed by outside sounds
If your awareness is distracted by an outside sound, acknowledge it and turn your awareness back to the mantra. The practice is doing its job regardless.
3. MM can make me cranky even with self pacing
That means it's working. Keep in mind that AYP meditation is a bit more powerful than many of the alternatives, and excess purification is quite common, especially in the early stages. Make sure you are taking at least 5 minutes following your practice, preferably lying down, as a "cool down" period to let excess energy settle before you jump back into action. Other than that, a 15 minute walk outside can really help to quell excess energy, as well as attending a local asana class from time to time. There have been times when I've went as far as doing indoor jumping jacks to help with excess purification. It worked. 
4. I know its not the real aim but I rarely go deep
See answer #1.
5. I find it an effort. On the rare occasions it works it because I seem to be listening instead of actively making it happen but I can't recreate this
I'm not quite sure I follow you here. My apologies for that.
6. I feel no daily benefits from my practice
There will be many times like this throughout the path. Sometimes it may even feel like a "two steps forward, one step back" kinda thing, when what is really happening is a step forward, followed by settling into the step. After settling in a bit, things appear to become "normal" again and the state we had been experiencing appears to subside. In actuality, the process is continuously unfolding regardless of how the mind chooses to label it.
7. It can take my whole session before I seem to get anywhere
Where are you going?
With breath meditation (starting with So Hum mantra and dropping later to silence), well how can I put it, none of the above I guess. I go deep almost instantly, rarely get distracted, experience mild bliss states and feel much better and clear all day afterwards. I feel that it makes me a better person. I do admit that I have had a few good sessions with I am mantra but they are few and far between. With my breath awareness almost all are good sessions so feel like its worth it.
As someone who started with "Hong Sau" before finding AYP, and who has also practiced long hours of Zen meditation, my personal experience is that the AYP meditation will require a bit more getting used to than many of the other types. Self-pacing is a must, and other activities may be required to balance things out from time to time. As AYP, in my own experience, is a much more powerful practice, the trade-offs have been well worth it.
So folks my question is, even though this is not strictly AYP, can I do the rest of the practices and stick to my So Ham? This morning I did my usual 3mins of Nadi shodhana, 10min spinal breathing followed by 20min So Hum and it was wonderful.
Sorry about answering the rest of your post if this is the only part you want answered. You should do whatever you feel is best for you at this time on your path. As Mr. Anderson mentioned above, the guru is in you. As my personal recommendation, I'd stick with AYP a bit longer, as it sounds like you may have hit a blockage and the practice is working through it. By following a few of the excess purification remedies outlined above and throughout the AYP teachings, I believe it is possible to make progress more quickly than with using other techniques. Of course, if daily gratification is more important, a less powerful practice may be best as it will tend to "massage" through a blockage as opposed to using dynamite. Your call on that.
Best wishes on your path.
Brett
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danebramage
USA
77 Posts |
Posted - Jul 08 2011 : 02:31:53 AM
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| My Preceptor once said: lets not find fault with our tools. This world will not change for us. We should strive to change ourselves then we will change 1,000's. (easier said than done, the mud gets pretty deep) |
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wisya
United Kingdom
27 Posts |
Posted - Jul 09 2011 : 03:00:51 AM
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I'm so glad I found this forum and support. It truely is amazing. I'll take on board all that has been said here for sure. Since I posted this thread I've been using only soham meditation and been going deeper into myself than ever before.
The big reason for mantra meditation is that you have a vehicle to take you beyond breath suspension. This can also be done with soham I've read. In fact it seems to be part of the point in practicing. Apparently after breath suspension you stick with the feel of the mantra as it self repeats deep inside taking you ever deeper.
I maybe missing something here but this sounds like AYP to me but using a different mantra.
Wisya |
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Had enough of i am for now
