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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 05 2011 : 09:14:56 AM
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there is a recurring example in yoga litterature to illustrate equanimity.the sun shines on all,the good ,the bad, the wicked, the rich, the poor etc...
equanimity is not there in me
how can i Love the wicked? i mean real Love...giving,smiling,helping,hugging...
how can i Love the one that ignores me,judge me ,have grudge on me....
it is so damn hard...at best i can ignore him/her...i will feel more at peace but it will not be equanimous Love...
i am not at the level of the Sun....how can i be at the level of the Self?
much Love
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whippoorwill
USA
450 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2011 : 10:46:15 AM
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Hi maheswari! I do it by taking the emotional attachment out of love. I view love simply as a "doing", and it doesn't need to be accompanied by any feeling at all. The giving, smiling, and helping all come from within. They're just expressions of who you are. And people don't need to return it, because it's given freely. Sometimes positive emotions will grow out of that doing, and they start to give back, and great friendships can form. And sometimes people just take it. Sometimes people reject it. If you're not putting emotion into it, it doesn't hurt when they reject it. (Well, not so much anyway.  )
I don't think you need to hug. For example, I'll never hug some guys -- it just sends entirely the wrong message. They confuse love with sex, and I just don't want to go there.
Maybe this approach is cheating... I dunno... I hope it helps.
much love
--Liz
P.S. I don't do it perfectly. There are some people that are really painful to be around. I usually pull it off, but it's a huge energy drain. |
Edited by - whippoorwill on Jun 05 2011 3:35:58 PM |
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Pheel
China
318 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2011 : 3:40:49 PM
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Hi Maheswari,
It takes time, even ages and life times, even to get close to the level of the sun. There's no rush, be easy with your current stage, and it'll evolve as you meditate and self-inquire along the path.
I can remain neutral to ppl who decide to be very negative to me. Some times I could even feel sympathetic for them suffering from the uneasy feeling of encountering me, someone they decide not to like. Some times I had to admit I felt uncomfortable in their presence. I tell myself it's fine. I start with being compassionate with myself. It's all good:)
Check this out, it might help you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A71bh8keqbI
Phil (which means love between friends) |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2011 : 3:49:29 PM
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Maheswari,
A suggestion... Don't worry about others... The first step is just learning to like yourself.
If you learn to truly accept and like yourself, you will find that no one can insult you.
Peace & Love. |
Edited by - jeff on Jun 06 2011 08:52:11 AM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2011 : 4:13:23 PM
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maheswari wrote:
"how can i Love the wicked? i mean real Love...giving,smiling,helping,hugging"
agreeing with what Lizmoran said:
Real love is not necessarily "giving,smiling,helping,hugging".
Sometimes it is just accepting someone, knowing that their actions are bad, and knowing that somewhere inside is a person who can do better. Sometimes love can be not saying anything at all when you feel like yelling and rejecting that person completely. Maybe you just walk by them, give them a look that is not judgmental, and keep walking. They know what they did is wrong, and you do too, and you are not talking about it because the part of the person who did that is not the part you love.
Of course this is not always the best strategy, like raising kids for instance.
and - "how can i Love the one that ignores me,judge me ,have grudge on me?"
By completely ignoring that because you know that it has nothing to do with you at all. Act as if it doesn't exist, because it is a malfunction in their mind, not the real truth.
I have had a hard time with this very thing. But finally i have come to the point where I can completely let it go. Most of the time it even begins to change their mind about me! But I don't really care anymore. |
Edited by - Etherfish on Jun 05 2011 4:19:22 PM |
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jenniferad
47 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2011 : 10:56:38 PM
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The way I understand loving people who are wicked is to realize that I live in infinity, and all I see is a reflection of my true nature, which is infinite. Infinity means anything I can imagine and then more. So in an infinite universe, anything and everything will exist, including the most horrific events and people we can possibly imagine (and then more).
Included in infinity are the concentration camps of the holocaust, and also lovely fields with radiant flowers and happy children playing. Included in infinity are people who like to cause pain to others for no reason other than it is their nature. Hindu scriptures contain stories of beings like that, refered to as demons, and the gods deal with them as appropriate. They restrain them as much as possible, but they don't deny their existence, which is natural and expected in an infinite universe.
In life I will have all kinds of experiences and to try to deny any part of what happens is a denial of my own self.
I don't feel I need to hug or be affectionate with people who are wicked. I have no desire to help them or go out of my way for them. Wicked beings can find a way to get what they need with or without my help. The natural thing is to avoid them if possible. But they do have a right to exist and sustain themselves, and all aspects of the universe (that is ultimately my own self reflected back to me) has a gift for me, even those who are wicked. I think one such gift is to realize I can be with them, I can exist side by side and be at peace. That is an integration and meeting of polarities, which is what yoga is all about, isn't it?
Jennifer
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Edited by - jenniferad on Jun 05 2011 11:10:13 PM |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2011 : 01:25:28 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
there is a recurring example in yoga litterature to illustrate equanimity.the sun shines on all,the good ,the bad, the wicked, the rich, the poor etc...
equanimity is not there in me
The Sun does not know what is the good, the bad, the wicked, the rich, the poor etc.
Heck it doesn't even know what 'equanimity' is.
It just is.
Are you?
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2011 : 01:50:49 AM
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thank you all for ur insights....
Liz:Sometimes positive emotions will grow out of that doing, and they start to give back, and great friendships can form. ....so true i experienced that
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Phil: There's no rush, be easy with your current stage...i agree with that
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Jef:The first step is just learning to like yourself.....one can never Love him or herself enough.
Ether By completely ignoring that because you know that it has nothing to do with you at all. Act as if it doesn't exist, because it is a malfunction in their mind, not the real truth....it is so damn hard as u said  .
Jennifer:Infinity means anything I can imagine and then more. So in an infinite universe, anything and everything will exist, including the most horrific events and people we can possibly imagine (and then more). Included in infinity are the concentration camps of the holocaust, and also lovely fields with radiant flowers and happy children playing.....Wow.. i would love to permanently abide in that cosmic vision |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2011 : 08:10:17 AM
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Thanks Maheswari,
If it is that hard to ignore them, then you are not ready for that stage yet. More meditation. . . |
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kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2011 : 09:54:26 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
there is a recurring example in yoga litterature to illustrate equanimity.the sun shines on all,the good ,the bad, the wicked, the rich, the poor etc...
equanimity is not there in me
how can i Love the wicked? i mean real Love...giving,smiling,helping,hugging...
how can i Love the one that ignores me,judge me ,have grudge on me....
it is so damn hard...at best i can ignore him/her...i will feel more at peace but it will not be equanimous Love...
i am not at the level of the Sun....how can i be at the level of the Self?
much Love
There comes a point, when we all realize that the current body we wear, is constructed of the same stuff as everyone elses. We realize that it is also filled with conditioned responses the same as everyone else. Then we see the light of undifferentiated Awareness at some point, and realize that THAT is really who we are. Then, and only then, do we see that 'our' body/mind/person-ness is just another bit of flotsom, tossed about by the flow... identical to anybody elses.. it is NOT our spiritual words.. our spiritual desires.. our personal this or personal that which is who we are.
Anything you can perceive about yourself is not who you are..
When you see the identicalness of all humans, including 'yourself', there is nobody to love but everyone. No effort is involved. Self love is the only genuine love.
Love us, to love yourself,
Kev |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2011 : 02:33:26 AM
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HAHAHAHA manigma your comments are always so funny "Heck it doesn't even know what 'equanimity' is."...
etherfish:more meditation for me ......and you ...lol
kev:one has also to like oneself in order to like others
Namaste |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2011 : 07:55:14 AM
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2011 : 4:39:13 PM
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build a bonfire and apply a match to anywhere and eventually there will be nothing left but ash.
Applying the match is all that is necessary, where it is applied is of no consequence.
Part of being spiritually aware is awareness of a need to love everything. You can aspire to that, regardless, eventually you will attain it. When you do, everything else will have changed, the fire will have burned up everything that made that aspiration important.
This is why it is better to put energy into one thing only, being aware of other things is important, but concentrating everything into one action such as DM will be easier. Some people can give unconditional love easily, for them, this is the place they put the match. |
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kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2011 : 4:47:35 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
HAHAHAHA manigma your comments are always so funny "Heck it doesn't even know what 'equanimity' is."...
etherfish:more meditation for me ......and you ...lol
kev:one has also to like oneself in order to like others
Namaste
I won't settle for liking myself or others.
It's unconditioned awareness (love) or nothing.
Liking our 'self' is what brought all of us here to Earth in the first place.
-Kev |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Jun 08 2011 : 03:53:06 AM
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| Kev what i meant that should be full from the inside to be able to give to others |
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kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
Posted - Jun 08 2011 : 09:41:55 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
Kev what i meant that should be full from the inside to be able to give to others
Now that is perfect. Everything revolves around the little self, to give up! When our brain and body ease into fullness, then that crappy old conditioned self, which can only bring despair and frustration is dropped for something better. Once we no longer give a rats ass about 'ourselves', then the actions of all conditioned selves becomes meaningless. That leaves only the automatic expression of love and a great openness, as the default state we walk around with.
Love,
Kev |
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equanimity
