|
|
 |
|
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
 Posted - May 11 2011 : 12:47:14 PM
|
I see that one of my old "home-brew" practices that I used for
decades earlier in my life, is now very toxic, and needs to
go away and not be used again. It was wonderful for years.. but
now it is turned to purest poison. Perhaps it might be called a
poisoned Ishta. I would be deeply grateful for any loving tips
offered to deal with this matter. DM,SBP and focussed Bastrika
aren't helping at all, though I suppose they will eventually.
(it is fascinating how some practices, used in moderation
are wonderful.. but if overused.. wowsa.. not recommended)
My practice was to keep the ideal ever before my mind..
in this case that ideal was eternal honesty, no matter
the cost; eternal desire to learn, no matter the cost,
eternal desire to serve, no matter the cost.
Sounds ok, doesn't it? On the surface maybe.. but I can see
just how deadly a misuse of this practice is now.
I magnified that group of ideals, and burned it into my
flesh with an act of will, for decades, non-stop, 24x7.
Some time ago, I realized it was keeping me from silence..
so I stopped the practice. I reduced my ideal to honest
assessment, no matter the cost-- and even that is now toxic.
Would anyone recommend anything in particular, other than
"Keep doing AYP"? That is good advice. Anything more specific?
With gratitude,
Kevin Cann
|
|
|
Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2011 : 1:02:52 PM
|
Treat it like a distraction and drop it into stillness.
Any time you realize you are focused on your ishta... let it go in stillness... give the image of the ishta to your ishta(stillness) and replace it with nothing or with mundane thoughts.
Just the way you trained yourself to "keep" your ishta in place, now use the same technique to let go the image.
Just the way you had to consciously practice to keep the image, now consciously practice to let it go. Don't push it away, don't fight it, don't force it... just gently go back to nothingness when you realize you or your mind is on your ishta.
There is nothing wrong with your ishta being on your mind unconsciously BTW... it's only a problem when the mind makes it one... so when the mind makes it a problem... let it go in stillness (stop thinking the thought).
 |
 |
|
|
kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2011 : 1:05:45 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
Treat it like a distraction and drop it into stillness.
Any time you realize you are focused on your ishta... let it go in stillness... give the image of the ishta to your ishta(stillness) and replace it with nothing or with mundane thoughts.
Just the way you trained yourself to "keep" your ishta in place, now use the same technique to let go the image.
Just the way you had to consciously practice to keep the image, now consciously practice to let it go. Don't push it away, don't fight it, don't force it... just gently go back to nothingness when you realize you or your mind is on your ishta.
There is nothing wrong with your ishta being on your mind unconsciously BTW... it's only a problem when the mind makes it one... so when the mind makes it a problem... let it go in stillness (stop thinking the thought).
I usually choose something hard over something obvious!
Thank you.
Namaste,
Kevin Cann |
|
|
|
kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2011 : 2:49:04 PM
|
My ishta became a place for my limited ego to hide.
Very clever that limited ego. It will do anything
to avoid eternal bliss..it sees bliss as death;
when in fact nothing of value is ever lost in this
universe, or in any other.
I came to AYP wishing to serve.. and I have been
served by various people. How blessed I am.
-Kev |
|
|
|
Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2011 : 5:47:11 PM
|
In giving we receive... in receiving we give...
We become teachers when we get to a place where "we" know nothing, then stillness can teach through us.
When this happens, we will be sharing our knowing, and not just our knowledge. |
|
|
|
CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2011 : 6:01:29 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
In giving we receive... in receiving we give...
We become teachers when we get to a place where "we" know nothing, then stillness can teach through us.
When this happens, we will be sharing our knowing, and not just our knowledge.
Wow. Beautiful Shanti.... Thank you. 
Love!
 |
|
|
|
kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2011 : 6:30:33 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
In giving we receive... in receiving we give...
We become teachers when we get to a place where "we" know nothing, then stillness can teach through us.
When this happens, we will be sharing our knowing, and not just our knowledge.
Beautiful. |
|
|
|
Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2011 : 8:10:05 PM
|
Yes Kevin, honesty has always been at the top of my list my whole life. And "whatever the cost" to ME is OK, but i have learned to examine what the cost is to other people, and hold back sometimes. it is particularly important when you say something, how you say it, etc. You have to know the other person's perception, mood etc. It's so complicated, and there has to be a reason to divulge something other than just "honesty". If I blurt out something just to get it off my chest, it is often grossly misunderstood and hurtful. So now I kinda wait for people to ask, then be careful how I answer, and I don't feel bad about keeping secrets anymore.
@Shanti:
"Image of my ishta", interesting concept. I realized I don't have one. When I pray I am speaking to blackness; never thought of giving it an image. Or maybe that blackness is an image. There's nothing there, but I feel I am speaking to something. |
|
|
|
kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2011 : 9:17:29 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Yes Kevin, honesty has always been at the top of my list my whole life. And "whatever the cost" to ME is OK, but i have learned to examine what the cost is to other people, and hold back sometimes. it is particularly important when you say something, how you say it, etc. You have to know the other person's perception, mood etc. It's so complicated, and there has to be a reason to divulge something other than just "honesty". If I blurt out something just to get it off my chest, it is often grossly misunderstood and hurtful. So now I kinda wait for people to ask, then be careful how I answer, and I don't feel bad about keeping secrets anymore.
@Shanti:
"Image of my ishta", interesting concept. I realized I don't have one. When I pray I am speaking to blackness; never thought of giving it an image. Or maybe that blackness is an image. There's nothing there, but I feel I am speaking to something.
You've definitely learned wisdom.
For much of my life, "little white lies" felt inconceivable;
I'd rather cut off an arm.
Now however, if something comes out of me, that recognizes a
"benefit of the doubt", that is fine.. by acknowledging someone's
true nature, whether it's currently manifesting or not, we do a
wonderful thing. In the end, "honesty" by the numbers, may equate
more to harshness or cruelty than anything beautiful. For a literal
person such as myself, this has been quite a journey. To apply the
same principle to Kevin, seemed inconceivable even yesterday.
Namaste,
Kevin Cann |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
| AYP Public Forum |
© Contributing Authors (opinions and advice belong to the respective authors) |
|
|
|
|
Request a bit of Help
