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escapado
Germany
88 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 27 2011 : 11:09:48 PM
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Hey everybody!
First of all sorry for mixing up questions of so many kinds in one thread
But let's get to it (oh and sorry.... it's a lot of text  )
Let's start with my Pranayama
When I do SBP it is easy to get upwards with my breath (sometimes not too easy if it is the first session of the day) but when I want to breath it all down again I have lots of problems with getting the breath through the region right beneath my solar plexus. Could this be because my abdominal muscles are not very well trained (I'm thin but I don't do any sport)?
Could it be some kind of (energy)block?
Also because of the posture I used to have for so long I have a hollow back or hyperlordosis.
The back musculature is weak where my problem zone begins (I think it is like that)
So I end up breathing in and out again (although I was doing the downward breathing out and shouldn't breathe in again but I can't get the air out any other way sometimes) and the session get's totally mixed up and is nothing but a struggle... ugh.
What could this be and what could I do? Is this normal?
My second question is about a state which I don't know too much about but fascinates me.
It sometimes happens that I slip into a state in the resting period where 'I' lose all of the control (ah, finally! lol)
It's kinda like that:
I do my AYP and then lay down to rest. While I rest I suddenly feel a stream of energy which is very relaxing flowing in me. But it does not happen always and when it happens it has like a "click" moment to it like someone switched the lights on and then the stream is there constantly it does not start anywhere it's just active. When this happens everything that comes up is an energy I perceive and nothing of that is me. 'I' am not there even if there is an "I" thought - the observer finds this funny and lets go. Ah, tough to explain but I guess you guys will know what I mean. In this state I relax, go beyond maybe. Everything that arises is just fine. No it's PERFECT. Depends on the depth of the state but my inner core does not judge in this state even if judging thoughts come up. Sweet, like a little child: "buh mummeh, I have nuthin to do with all of that" . Sometimes it's just okay. Sometimes it's huge!
A releasing of energy maybe. A melting somehow.
So my question is: what is this?
I used to do a meditation by just observing the thoughts. Does it has anything to do with this? Am I going into this meditation without my personal intention? Or is this really a state of energy/consciousness that has nothing to do with any technique? Or is this more than just a state?
I am very thankful for every information on this. the more the better :)
My third question is about the Kunda and dreams.
When dreaming I sometimes have these very energetic dreams. But only stuff that I also felt awake sometimes. But yesterday something strange happened.
After my last AYP session I rested and slipped into the state that I talked about in the last question. I didn't hold it too long though and after getting up the energy and silence wasn't there for too long (a few minutes I guess and then I already went back to the average noraml state of noisy mind.. why? ugh :( ). Then I got to bed to get some sleep.
In my dream some friend of mine got us some LSD and gave me two thin papercards where you could pull out single pieces (the tickets - but well this is only my minds interpretation of LSD I never saw it for real). He told me to only take one ticket and every card had several. I took one and nothing happened although I waited. So I took everything...
Then I remember myself lying somewhere and the base of my spine was vibrating and shaking wildly. My body was shaking but it didn't feel too uncomfortable. The electric sensation and bodyshaking continued to some point and then I woke up after a while.
Was this my mind phantasizing about the K or was this possibly real?
And what IS the kundalini?
How to approach the idea of the K?
Some say: It comes if it wants and you can't do anything for it to come or not to come.
Others say: It comes with the yoga practice.
Some say: It is what it's all about
And others again go like: Don't worry about it it doesn't matter after all because it is not what it is about...
huh?
I tried to find information but nothing satisfies me.
What I really want is to really get beyond me for once. I never did. In my mind I always knew that this is what I want even before anything that has to do with spiritual practice touched my life.
Now I sit here and wonder. Is it the kundalini that brings what I am longing for?
I don't just want a silent mind. I'm not fully satisfied with that although the mind does not have anything more to say my heart longs for more. I want to shoot myself above and beyond everything that's "me".
Okay silly me - I guess in the end that's the motivation for most of us.
But... is it the Kundalini that I am looking for?
And what is it?
My bhakti is lots and lots but since I am bound to pace myself I don't know what else to do. I wanna know about it and since my level is pretty low compared to yours the best thing I can do is ask you.
Oh and before I end it:
I made an observation
The day when I had a fullbody kundalini rising on Cannabis I would play with my energy all the time. Like when walking sitting and so on. Something like doing asanas etc. You get what I'm talking about.
And then on C. I just relaxed and did not intent to do anything it just happened.
Could it be that when you charge the body with energy and then totally let go that the energy rises up by itself? So intense???
My heart was exploding dear god I miss it :D
And when it reached my head I was where the system is and my last thouhts where: Oh sh*t it's crashing and then ... dang I'm losing track of my post
But the point is: Even if it works like that, will the kundalini arise under such conditions or was it only because of the Cannabis?
So many questions
I thank you for EVERY answer! 
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Edited by - escapado on Apr 28 2011 12:13:56 AM |
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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2011 : 11:23:10 AM
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Hi escapado
For question 1 - breathe at a pace where you easily have enough air to finish the down-breath. And trace through the difficult area with your attention, even if the energy doesn't follow through that area. It's fine as long as your attention is moving between root and brow with the breath.
question 2 - sometimes during meditation, or resting afterward, we just go into stillness. It's like we're gone, timeless. It's the stillness, purebliss consciousness, witness, etc that is written in the lessons.
question 3 - kundalini dreams are as real as any dream.
question 4 - yogani would remind that it's practices that create the results we're looking for, not experiences. He would also say that kundalini experiences are the removal of energetic obstructions. With that said, kundalini in small doses feels good. And we are looking for it, in so much as we enjoy doing our practices, and engaging in actions outside practices which result in this pleasurable release of obstructions. Too much at once can get painful though, and that's the time to self-pace. As for the endgame question - from the lessons, the fully raised kundalini is only one half of what we're looking for, the other half being the resident inner stillness required to be able to rest permanently in that fully energized state. Along the way we get peak experiences and flashes of each side of the coin - energy and stillness. But ultimately it is a gradual process which happens over years. Yogani says, "it is like watching a tree grow"
Final question - the practices cause an ongoing purification process that will continue to evolve with or without cannabis, including a full kundalini rising. Cannabis users will experience peaks and valleys along the way in that process in so much as our cannabis use causes peaks and valleys in our daily life. My personal experience has been a gradual detachment from cannabis. The peak experiences on cannabis gradually expand out into my sober life.
Much love escapado, and enjoy the journey.
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escapado
Germany
88 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2011 : 12:09:51 AM
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thank you so much "JDH"
namaste |
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