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Nyardream
USA
22 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 05:07:52 AM
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Hi there,
This is my first post and I am hoping I can get some help. Just for some background: About two months ago I woke up in the middle of the night with an intense sensation going up and down my spine. This lasted a few minutes until I was able to go to sleep again. I remember the first thing that came to my head when this happened was "Kundalini, I can't deal with this right now".
I have never practiced yoga or meditation, however over the past year or so, I have been deep in spiritual study and self inquiry --particularly studying Hinduism, and that's how I knew what Kundalini was.
Over the past few months I have had some real disruptive physical and mental issues. Firstly, my legs constantly vibrate to the point where it's driving me insane. I cannot live with this leg vibration... it is simply ruining my life.
Also, I have been having a really difficult time sleeping regularly. It seems almost every night I wake up with my whole body surging with energy. The energy surges seem to be more intense when I am laying next to my wife in bed.. so many nights I sleep on the couch..
I am having violent mood swings from day to day -- one day I will feel great and full of life, and then the next I feel so full of fear, dispair, and depression that I cry out for God to help me. I don't know what to do. I have read that people experience bliss during the Kundalini process, but to be honest, I have felt nothing but fear and anxiety... it's all too much.. it's too different from my regular life and I fear that I won't be able to provide for my family anymore... I have prayed for this to stop, but it hasn't and this feels like a dead end anyways.
Can someone kindly provide me with methods for calming this energy down, or even stopping it altogether? I'm confused and worried as to why this happened to me because I haven't been practicing yoga or meditation.. I didn't ask for it, so to speak.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. |
Edited by - AYPforum on Jun 10 2012 5:26:50 PM |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 06:44:22 AM
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Hi Nyardream and welcome to the AYP forums . It's good to have you on board, and yes from what it looks like you're experiencing kundalini overloading symptoms.
I will share with you what I usually share with others who are going through kundalini unbalance.
The following three lessons which are life savers for people like me and you:
The first lesson you should read:
Lesson 69 - Q&A – Kundalini symptoms, imbalances, and remedies
http://www.aypsite.org/69.html
second:
Lesson 13 - Meditation -- Awakening the Silent Seed
http://www.aypsite.org/13.html
third:
Lesson 41 - Pranayama – Spinal Breathing
http://www.aypsite.org/41.html
But of course it is always best to start from the beginning:
Lesson 10 (The first in this series) - Why This Discussion?
http://www.aypsite.org/10.html
Check out lesson 69 first of all!
Doing 5 minutes of spinal breathing and 20 minutes of deep meditation will do you a lot of good in a very short time. I suggest dropping the other practices you're doing until things settle down but that remains up to you of course and it should be noted that combining AYP with other practices has unpredictable outcomes.
I wish you all the best on your path, in case you have any other questions you're welcome.
Love,
Ananda |
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Nyardream
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 07:44:08 AM
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Hi Ananda,
Thanks for your kind response. However, I'd rather not get involved in any meditation/yoga practices. I just don't feel comfortable with that right now. I feel too unstable and I'm afraid I'd make this worse or do something wrong. I have no training in meditation and I have never meditated before. I come from a Christian background and I feel uneasy venturing elsewhere. I just can't find any Kundalini help.
You mentioned that I should "drop" my other practices, but I don't have any other practices... this came to me pretty much out of the blue.. Is there anything else I can do in order to stop my legs from shaking/vibrating constantly?
Thanks again |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 08:22:52 AM
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If it is from kundalini, and it sounds like it is; do a lot of grounding and eat heavier food. See grounding in the yoga faq link above.
Grounding would be things like exercise, running, walking, swimming, getting involved with the earth like gardening, digging in the dirt, walking barefoot on the ground, lying on the ground.
Things that would never be recommended here because they take away from spiritual energy may be good for you; partying with friends, drinking, eating heavy foods like meat and dairy products, sexual release. These things are somewhat addictive, and you don't want to do them forever because they are bad for your health, but in your case a little may help.
Exercise however you can do forever! Look up "HIIT" on the net, or High Intensity Interval Training which is very good for the immune system and takes a shorter time than aerobic exercise. Usually it is recommended to do some of both. I think exercise would probably make the most difference in your case. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 08:26:40 AM
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Spinal breathing and Deep meditation are usually the best to deal with kundalini issues... And I assure you they're safe. But if all of this yoga stuff clashes with your convictions, then there are other grounding activities which you can do like sports and walking in nature and eating a heavier and healthier diet and staying away from hot food and alcohol... There are a lot of options inside lesson 69. I suggest you take what feels right for you and leave what doesn't. Best thing I could say in the present case is go out and be as active as you can...
Sorry I can't help more, I'll keep you in my prayer this afternoon.
I wish you all the best and a safe recovery.
Love,
Ananda |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 08:27:29 AM
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| We cross posted Ether |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 08:28:17 AM
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| I disagree on the drinking subject |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 08:31:59 AM
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nyardream wrote:
" I have been deep in spiritual study and self inquiry"
This is what Ananda meant by practices. You have to be "ripe" for these things to cause kundalini, but if you are,
you have to drop anything spiritual from your life to stop it. Don't worry, you won't have any trouble returning to it later. By the way, there are websites teaching meditation in a completely Christian way, but please save those for later when you bring the kundalini under control. For now, stay away from church, the bible, everything.
Please don't think this is evil to stay away from those things. You probably have a lot of devotion, and most people here would envy you, but in your case it is happening too fast. Anything spiritual will feed it; reading the bible, praying, going to church, anything. remember most of those things are meant to feed the devotion of people who don't have enough. You do. Don't let yourself dwell on spiritual ideas during the day either. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 08:36:14 AM
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Hi Ananda,
writing at the same time as you. Yes, drinking is optional, as all of those things are. But just trying to think of things that tend to drag that kundalini back down. . .
if nyardream is getting these symptoms and never does our practices, anything spiritual could make it worse don't you think?
And especially if he doesn't want to do our practices, there are Christian ones, but you can't count on them being fashioned for slow kundalini. Wouldn't matter in most cases, but here it might.
PS for future reference, practices here are completely compatible with Christianity. That's Yogani's background. But don't investigate that for now. |
Edited by - Etherfish on Apr 19 2011 08:44:05 AM |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 08:55:55 AM
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Dear Ether, I only mentioned the drinking subject because in my experience and of those I teach drinking leads to a lot of overloading. Yet never the less I still drink on the weekends but try and dance and laugh as much as I can in order to burn it off...
Love,
Ananda |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 3:11:31 PM
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Hi Nayardream,
Some good advice already on grounding practices from Ananda and Ether. Two other things to remember... firstly, you probably won't be able to control the energy, so to a certain extent you are going to have to work with it, and secondly, there is a reason why you have awakened at this time.
Another thing I wanted to mention is that kundalini is not unique to yoga, or to Eastern spiritual paths, but is something that every spiritual person has to go through on their path at some point or other. This means that every Christian saint (including Jesus) has gone through a kundalini awakening. Bliss is a later stage symptom of a kundalini awakening, coming after perhaps years of inner purification work. In the early stages it is often more about shaking and anxiety.
It sounds like your wife may have triggered your awakening (something you will probably thank her for one day), but for the time being it is probably best if you sleep in separate beds. This can happen because when someone is awakened already, and operating at a high level of purity, simply being in their presence can awaken people nearby. So if your symptoms are more severe when you sleep with your wife, this is a good indication that she is awakened and radiating ecstasy.
Good luck, and if you have any more questions this is the place to ask.
Christi |
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Nyardream
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 5:46:04 PM
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Thanks for all the suggestions. I will try to exercise more and change my diet. I'm not sure if I can stop praying... because sometimes I feel so full of light and love that I have to direct it towards God.. I can't really explain it, but if I contained it, I feel like I'd die.. I can't take it..
Who amongst you lives in infinite bliss? And if you do, is there understanding of it? If not, is it not more than a drug... self indulging? Perhaps if I were to embrace the infinite, my worries would dissolve and I would forget about all my questions... but is that because I would finally understand.. or is it because the ecstasy would simply overwhelm me? I guess I have that question.
Also, I believe in free will... but if I have no control over this kundalini... what does that say about free will.. that has been bothering me.. The only answer I can come up with is that in some way I actually have a "higher self" which has desires that differ from mine... or, free will is an illusion..
Thanks again |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 11:37:54 PM
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I'll leave the infinite bliss question to someone else. I'm not sure if that happens, but I've read stories of that happening for a while.
Free will:
Of course you have free will, but you don't have control of reality. Like if you choose to climb Mt. Everest, all kinds of unexpected things will happen and you may or may not get there.
If you chose to be close to God, then you have indirectly chosen kundalini. In Christian terms it is being "spirit filled", or the rising of the holy spirit. However if it rises too quickly without first purifying the channels it travels in, it can have bad side effects, some of which you already have. There is lots in the "main lessons" link above, and in Yogani's books. The "Secrets of Wilder" book is about a Christian guy with kundalini problems, link on the side of this page.
But I would wait until symptoms subside before you read more about it.
Best of luck. |
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Yaming
Switzerland
112 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 11:38:21 PM
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There are things that are out of our control. Doesn't mean that free will doesn't exist. I can get hit by a car and be bond to a wheel chair the rest of my life, doesn't mean I have not a free will, does it?
In your case you did spiritual practice, with praying, self inquiry etc. Hence you get something out of it.
There is a yogi (forgot his name, can't remember those names), who awakened by just longing for enlightement, he was crying every day in front of a statue. And as he was about to kill himself becasue he couldn't take it any longer, he awakened. Devotion is probably the most important tool in spiritual practice. And not just in spiritual practice, in anything we want to do.
I hope you find your way to deal with it. Wish you all the best!
Yaming |
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WoodDragon
USA
56 Posts |
Posted - Apr 20 2011 : 08:23:58 AM
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| Often we hear we must Let Go of our attachments to our base desires, that we must surrender to Truth. This is not a loss of any kind, it is a gain. When you feel you must give this to God, then surrender to God and allow that God is within you, always and forever. This has always been the case, you now simply recognize it. What you may be experiencing through a Kundalini overload is the Higher Self recognizing the connection to God and naturally wanting the closeness to be recognized by you in totality. Bliss is something one can get used to, we adapt, we re-center ourselves. This is not a comfortable process but then shedding the pains and desires of attachment never is comfy. I really liked the ideas involving exercise, walk, jog, feel the world beneath your feet, love it all and let the love of God flow, if you contain it then you are trying to hold back the sea. Meditation, just quiet meditation can help by bringing your mind into balance, staying calm. When we get over excited or frightened, it can make an overload more energetic. Your nerves need to be grounded (walking and exercise) and soothed (meditation). Then you may be able to see and understand that this level which you reached all on your own without any practice save the gathering of knowledge is not a bad thing, not even an uncomfortable thing once you get used to it. I believe a part of you has been waiting for this, your soul, the better part of us all. Trust in God, trust in You. |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2011 : 10:06:05 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Nyardream
Also, I believe in free will... but if I have no control over this kundalini... what does that say about free will.. that has been bothering me.. The only answer I can come up with is that in some way I actually have a "higher self" which has desires that differ from mine... or, free will is an illusion..
Reminded me of this from The Matrix:
Morpheus : Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo : No.
Morpheus : Why?
Neo : Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my own life.
Morpheus : I know... exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know, you can't explain. But you feel it. You've felt it your entire life. That there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there... like a splinter in you're mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Neo : The Matrix?
Morpheus : Do you want to know.... what it is....?
(Neo nods)
Morpheus : The Matrix is everywhere. It's all around us, even in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you pay your taxes. The Matrix is the world that has been pulled over your eyes, to blind you from the truth.
Neo : What truth?
Morpheus : That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison... for your mind.... Unfortunatly, no one can be... told what the Matrix is... you have to see it for yourself.
(Morpheus opens a container which holds two pills : a blue one, and a red one. He puts one in each hand, and holds them out to Neo.)
Morpheus : This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back.....You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up and belive... whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill..... you stay in wonderland...and I show you just how deep the rabbit hole goes.
(Neo pauses for an instant, then reaches for the red pill. He swallows it down with a glass of water, and looks at Morpheus.)
Morpheus : Remember...all I'm offering you is the truth : nothing more.
http://dc-mrg.english.ucsb.edu/Warn....script.html
Which pill would you take?
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GangaShiva
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2011 : 6:31:19 PM
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Nyardream!
I would not try to stop the kundalini or run away from it. The energy has awaken for a reason and you have to let it flow. Your symptoms are classic for a kundalini awakening, and since the energy has awaken spontaneously, you have nothing to fear. In a course of time, it should become blissful especially if you engage in meditation, yoga, dance, music and whatever gets your blood flowing. I had a vision of Jesus after kundalini awakening and I am certain that this energy is completely in tune with Him. Just because the eastern religions have more graphic descriptions of it does not mean that the christian mystics did not experience this energy. In their case, they called it the holy spirit.
Love and Peace |
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Nyardream
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2011 : 01:20:49 AM
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Thanks again for all your suggestions. I think I can live with this for now. It's all very strange for me.. like I mentioned before. To be honest, there was a period a few years ago where I stopped believing in God. I had convinced myself that the amount of suffering in the world made it impossible for a good God to exist..I still have problems reconciling this sometimes. But I believe.
Anyway, I remember one night, about two years ago I was laying in bed and this thought arose in my head. I thought, "I'm going to die someday". Perhaps at first this seems like a simple, rather common thought, but I remember something hit me after that thought... because I then tried to imagine not existing.. and it scared me to the point where I became deeply afraid of dying.. I guess part of it was that I was unable to accept it... it seemed impossible in a way. It's very difficult to explain. The following months I started praying throughout the day.. I don't know why, but I just started doing it.. maybe to help ease my fear of dying. I'd pray for people and for other things, and my prayers kept getting answered and I was shocked and amazed.
Now I'm here.. a couple years later and a totally different person in a way. Maybe some people can relate...
Also, a couple of you have mentioned that Kundalini has awaken in me for a reason. Can anyone shed any light on exactly what is meant by that? What would be a reason why Kundalini would spontaneously awaken?
Thanks again for your comments. I wish each one of you knew how much your messages mean to me... |
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Nyardream
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2011 : 01:26:44 AM
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| Also, GangaShiva - Can you tell me more about your vision of Jesus.. if you don't mind. I am interested. |
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Nyardream
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2011 : 01:01:49 AM
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Thanks for your response, Kevin.
I'm not sure why I was studying Hindu philosophy.. I didn't seek it out. I stubbled upon the Bhagavad Gita on the net, and decided to read it because it was short. I thought it was beautiful and I still do. Then I started reading all Paramahansa Yogananda's books like Autobiography of a Yogi and that's when all of this seemed to start happening. I work from the computer all day and listen to audiobooks while I work, so I wasn't even actively reading them. I've been studying spiritual matters for the past couple of years because I've had a growing interest in it.
I was never abused as a child. My parents got divorced when I was 12 and that was really hard on me because it involved an affair and I was the only person who knew it was happening at the time. That's it as far as my childhood goes. I have forgiven my father as much as I'm consciously able to. There are probably some issues I still have in my subconscious.. I'd probably have to do some psychoanalysis sessions to get that resolved fully.
I do remember inquiring and asking questions about God at a very early age -- philosophical questions that I can't even answer now. I was very young.
I don't have any "concept of God" and I don't even attempt to form any. I understand what it implies and I understand the totality of it, at least intellectually.
Regarding my intentions... I honestly wish I knew. Right now I'm trying to buy a house, make some money, and start a family with my wife. It's nothing out of the ordinary on the surface. Below the surface, I can't really explain because I don't have a full understanding of it.. that is, whatever has been drawing me towards this (and it has been for awhile), is part of me that I'm not conscious of.. at least the motive behind it.
My biggest worry is that the Kundalini will get so intense that I won't be able to provide for my family and I will end up in a mental hospital. I don't have any spiritual aspirations that come before that.
I know that many people on the spiritual path are working very hard to awaken their Kundalini and I'm sorry if I come off as though I'm wanting to throw away something very special due to earthly pursuits. In fact, if I hadn't just gotten married, then perhaps I would be on the same path, but for now I simply want to provide my wife with the life she deserves. I would sacrifice anything for that, even the chance to glimpse a kind of bliss that I can't fathom. I know this all may sound naive and childish and maybe it is. I am not very spiritually advanced like you folks, and that's why I appreciate your responses.
Thanks again |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2011 : 01:34:12 AM
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If you are willing to sacrifice everything, then sacrifice your mental conditioning of being afraid to take on yoga. Be a lion and go head on... I was like you and the advise I gave you at first is what made things well (Great) for me.
Wish you all the best.
Love,
Ananda |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
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Nyardream
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - May 03 2011 : 10:34:03 PM
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What is the difference between Yogi and Meditation and what exactly does meditation do? What purpose does it serve other than relaxing the mind?
Thanks |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - May 04 2011 : 02:26:54 AM
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No difference, meditation is the essence of yoga. It is not about relaxing the mind, it's a bout realizing your own true Self and being the master of your mind, body and senses not the other way around.
May I suggest reading the AYP lessons from start, this way you will know all you need to.
Love,
Ananda |
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Nyardream
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2011 : 10:45:57 PM
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Ananda -
I have been reading the lesson links you provided. I mentioned earlier that I was uncomfortable doing yoga or meditation because I'm not trained. You assured me that it's not dangerous, yet I read this in lesson 69:
"At times I have felt prompted to focus on moving the energy upwards and circulating it in a systematic manner through my body. I have an almost continuous burning sensation at the base of my spine, however at the moment if I release the energy I experience 'devastating' emotions such as despair, isolation, and emptiness."
It sounds to me, and perhaps I'm wrong, that it can be dangerous.. especially if I accidentally put myself into a trance. I have also read of people coming under psychic attack while meditating... can you kindly clarify these issues for me?
Thanks! |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2011 : 03:12:57 AM
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My dear friend, if you practice as it has been given in the lessons nothing bad will happen. And in case any ups and downs do happen, then that's a sign for self pacing.
It goes out without saying that playing around with energy in the body and doing too much practices will lead you into an uncomfortable situation... But it's all good, we have the self pacing tools to get right back on track safe and well.
And don't worry, you have all the AYP community here to support you. Please share with us any uncomfortable situations you might go through.
All the best.
Love,
Ananda |
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Stopping/Pausing Kundalini
