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Evannon
USA
26 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 08 2011 : 12:20:40 PM
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Just had to chime in because SO MUCH of your experience, Nyardream, is so familiar to me! I was raised by a fundamentalist Christian family, and came to Eastern forms of spirituality in my late 20's/30's. My kundalini awakening experience also generated a lot of fear, anxiety, even despair and depression at times... I wish I had time to blabber about all the details. But here is the essence of what I've learned: First, don't be afraid! Christians are great at inducing deep, deep fear from a very early age. That part of Christianity is pure mythology, invented by those who wished to control others over the ages. Let Go of Satan and Hell; they're simply ideas invented by powermongers. "Kundalini" is just a word. Some people love it; some are terrified of it. Maybe that's because snakes are spiritually positive in India, but the essence of Evil in Christianity. It's not a snake, really. The energetic experience is real, and I strongly recommend you let go of the word, and all the Christian AND eastern cultural baggage, and allow the experience.
Above, you wrote: "a couple of you have mentioned that Kundalini has awaken in me for a reason. Can anyone shed any light on exactly what is meant by that?"
It is alive in you because your consciousness - through questions such as "what is death? Non-existence? how can "I" not exist?" - your consciousness is realizing that it is simply a tiny expression of a vast continuum of consciousness. That is the reason: you must awaken to your true interconnectedness to the universe.
The energy of this realization is incredibly intense - but if you don't resist it, it won't hurt you. (If it is sexual, it is because sex energy generated your body/consciousness, and your body is compelled to move that energy forward to generate new conscious beings.)
Your body does not generate this energy; the energy generates your body.
Your body is an emergent manifestation of the continuum - and now a conduit through which the energy of consciousness flows. As your consciousness becomes aware of this energy flowing through the body, you become aware of the continuum. Then you understand Unity. And then you understand Love. So - be a conduit for Love into the world!
Your job is to allow, submit, be humble, trust. That energy is what the Christians call "God" - and this much, I believe, they're right about. It's also The Great Mystery physicists are confronting in quantum mechanics. (Google "Amit Goswami" if you're interested in this.) You can, and I believe you will, reconcile what you love about Christianity with what Eastern mystics and physicists have to say about this "Energy." This Energy is calling you to this reconciliation. You will know it experientially.
If you haven't already read "The Power of Now" by Eckhardt Tolle, do so! Just go to the nearest bookstore, pick it up, and read the Introduction. I think you'll relate.
Again, "Fear Not!" (Where is the peaceful emoticon?!) Knowledge - not ignorance - is bliss!
Heavy, prolonged exercise is very helpful. I say, Dance, dance, dance! Dance till you're living only in your intuitive, non-thinking mind. Let it flow. Legs vibrating? Move them! Zing!
The lessons here helped me enormously.
A question: any sexual release lately? Or are you practicing semen retention? If so, intentionally or for lack of opportunity? (When I've practiced semen retention, I begin to experience many of your symptoms. Sometimes it takes two weeks, sometimes only three days. It's a valuable practice if you're prepared for it; a disruptive one if you're not.)
Be Well! |
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JosephUK
United Kingdom
212 Posts |
Posted - Jun 15 2011 : 10:01:18 AM
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Hiya,
I think there is some duality to your experience nyardream, on the one hand you have studied and prayed intensely, and on the other hand you have a longing and clinging onto the material things of your life (and i'm not talking about your wife)
We all have these issues on our journey, our egos seek material pleasure and just want to make money and go on holiday. But then every now and then we have a deep yearning for something greater, some form of permanent satisfaction (this can start as a simple desire, but with spiritual practices such as the ones you've been doing rises to devotion) This devotion has put you on the path. It seems unreconcilable that you are on the path at the moment because of the suffering your kundalini symptoms have brought you.
It is difficult to find Christian knowledge gained by those who have "raised the serpent in the desert"
But i and i believe many people with experience will know that kundalini is a universal experience to the human spiritual condition. Yoga just happens to be an open minded and scientific way of taming kundalini and following the path that your devotion chooses. I am a Chrisitian too and regularly pray to Jesus Christ and he has got me out of loads of difficult situations. You have to separate the doctrine which has been twisted and misunderstood with the raw spiritual practice which are scientific in application and result.
You need to embrace your awakening and explore your spiritual environment, you are feeling ecstasy and agony right now. There is an opposite and balancing force in the universe called bliss (masculine) if you cultivate the masculine side you can balance your self out. Maybe try the masculine form such as ram or try and downward flowing breathing technique from the crown to the root chakra.
these will have immediate effects when done correctly.
There isn't a separate enlightenment for each of the religions, they don't form separate clans they are in union.
Joe |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Jun 15 2011 : 12:19:41 PM
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very well said Joe
humans form clans not the Self |
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Nyardream
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Nov 04 2011 : 4:12:24 PM
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Hello - I thought I'd come back and relate what has happened in the past 6 months since my initial post. Also, I wanted to thank everyone again for the kind responses (thanks for sharing your story, Evannon).
The kundalini never went away :P... in fact, my whole body is still vibrating at this moment. It's not as intense though, and upheavals don't seem to last as long... In fact, I don't even mind the vibrations much anymore except when they get too intense for me to focus. The vibrations are usually only really intense right when I wake up, right after I eat, or if I haven't slept all night.
If you've followed this post, you probably know that I was initially reluctant to start practicing meditation... I think many of you took this as a fear I had due to my Christian upbringing... this wasn't really the case. Now that I look back on it, I believe that I was simply indignate and upset that in a way I was being "forced" to alter my day-to-day routine... that is, at the time, and in my mind, I felt like doing meditation would simply be an annoying "remedy" to this "illness" which had been bestowed upon me... does that make sense?
Well, I never did commit to meditation... instead, it was forced upon me.. as strange as that sounds, I was guided to meditate.. it started out slow as just a few concentrated moments before I feel asleep... then one night right before I was about to fall asleep, I heard this whispered into my ear, "slow your breathing, you're breathing too fast". So I did and after that, I found myself in these meditative states more and more often -- and for longer and longer.
I meditate often now... usually once a day for like 30 - 60 minutes... I don't set a time or anything, sometimes I just feel compelled to do it when I'm sitting on the couch. About a month ago I was meditating and I felt my forehead "pop" and then drag me inward.. I was unable to open my eyes... then my throat did the same thing, followed by my heart -- when my heart "popped" it almost knocked me off the couch...
I'm still trying to make sense of this event, but I'm guessing that was those chakras opening... now whenever I meditate, the space between my eyes tingles with a little bit of pressure.. This morning after about 10 minutes of meditation, the energy rose from the base of my spine up to my forehead and my eyes started fluttering and blinking really fast -- very strange, but it wasn't uncomfortable for some reason...
Anyways, I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm not dead and I'm not afraid anymore... I was really freaked out when I started this post because it was such a shock... but I've come to appreciate the energy in a way... I still haven't felt any states of bliss... but I feel more emotionally grounded lately.. like there is a weight off my chest... I feel like I can do anything I want in life... the kundalini doesn't interrupt my work... it's just there with me...
I still feel alone... that is, I wish there was someone who could provide me with answers for some of the deeper questions I have about all of this.... It's weird... before I always thought of myself as a child of God... you know, when I was in a jam I would pray and beg like a little kid... and there was a certain comfort in this even if the prayer wasn't answered.... now I feel grown up in a way.. I don't see God that way anymore.. it's sort of a disappointment at times because sometimes you just want to be helped and treated like a kid -- without doing any work .... But, on the other hand, I feel empowered also... I still feel human emotions, but I don't ... "hold" them, I guess -- I feel more mature... if that makes sense. I'm guessing the road ahead will still be very difficult.. I've made some progress, but have no illusions that it won't get worse.. who knows.
Thanks! |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Nov 04 2011 : 5:35:02 PM
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Sounds like you're doing well my friend
I would still recommend AYP for you so that you may be on an organized and well experienced path... But to each his own way.
I wish you all the best on the path you chose [img]icon_heart.gif[/img]
Namaste |
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Nyardream
USA
22 Posts |
Posted - Nov 04 2011 : 5:40:18 PM
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| is AYP basically kriya yoga? |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Nov 04 2011 : 5:46:56 PM
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| Nope, but some of the kriya yoga practices which are taught by SRF exist within the lessons but with a few updates for optimum results |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Nov 05 2011 : 02:53:54 AM
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thx for the update and sharing dear Nyardream
i relate to all you said...dont worry,all that you went through (fear,the energy,feeling compelled to meditate,unable to open the eyes,tingles b/w eyebrows.feeling human emotions but not holding on to them)....are experienced by all practioners at some point or another on their journey
it is clear that now you are more grounded, at ease and mature..
i also suggest you do ayp deep meditation ....deep meditation creates inner mental silence....so you will be able to merge the ecstatic energy you are experiencing with inner silence creating a balanced way of living not only during your spiritual practices but also (and most importantly) when you go out doing activities in daily life....
all the best |
Edited by - maheswari on Nov 05 2011 02:55:38 AM |
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Stopping/Pausing Kundalini
