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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 7:30:18 PM
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Hello friends 
My experience of fear has been changing in the last year or so. This morning, I had an insight that allows me to somewhat express it in words.
When fear arises, I only experience the physical aspects of it. The bodily sensations, that is (mostly in the spine). It is sometimes accompanied by ecstasy. But there isn't any suffering about it. No mental story, no "I shouldn't be feeling this", no emotional pain, no resistance or contraction, no loss of awareness, etc. Fear happens and it's simply felt. And it's okay.
Fear also happens a lot less. Situations that once triggered fear no longer do. This mostly has to do with fear of people because of their physical appearance or words/actions. For example, people I might perceive as looking like a "gangbanger" or "skinhead", or people expressing anger/aggression, are no longer intimidating.
I used to be intimidated by bodybuilder types, because I saw them as being confident and "real men", while I didn't feel like a real man. This morning, I walked by a bodybuilder type of guy. He had that confident "Yeah, I'm a badass" swagger and everything. That intense look in his eyes, like he could stare you down until you drop to your knees and start crying. Passing by him, I felt he was no different than myself. My confidence was not shaken, nor my feeling of being a "real man". No fear, no intimidation.
I attribute this change 100% to unwavering daily sadhana. If you've read this far, thanks for doing so. Feel free to share your experiences with fear.
Love to you [img]icon_heart.gif[/img]
With Love
cosmic |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 7:36:42 PM
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OMG cosmic, that is beautiful 
Thank you. |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 8:04:27 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by cosmic
If you've read this far, thanks for doing so.
You're welcome
Sounds like you are seeing with less distortion. Congratulations! |
Edited by - bewell on Mar 08 2011 8:04:58 PM |
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faileforever
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 8:16:16 PM
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| Beautiful, thank you for sharing |
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 11:58:47 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by bewell
Sounds like you are seeing with less distortion.
So it seems, Be 
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 12:18:35 AM
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Experiences with fear:
As i posted elsewhere, I try to be immersed in what i am afraid of. I was afraid of heights so I learned to skydive, I was afraid of knives and blood, so i learned to be a surgical assistant, I had stage fright so I joined groups who perform on stage. I'm not afraid of death, so don't ask how i would handle that one lol.
Some friends and I used to jump off cliffs into a river. We found that if you stand at the top and look at how far down the water is, fear will build until you won't be able to jump. It took from a few seconds to a minute.
But if you decide to jump before you could see the water, then walk with purpose and jump right away, you wouldn't be afraid. This applies to a lot of situations. Hesitation builds fear.
Of course we dived deep in the water first to make sure it's safe. |
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 4:48:05 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
I'm not afraid of death
No need to do it, then 
quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Hesitation builds fear.
True. It seems like the anticipation of XYZ is often scarier than XYZ itself. For example, giving a speech is actually not that scary. But waiting for your turn to give that speech can be nerve-wracking.
What fear(s) do you have yet to face, Ether? |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 5:30:59 PM
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My experience is fairly similar to yours Cosmic.... Now, almost all my former fears have melted into a puddle of acceptance. The only real fear I still face is one of not living up to my fullest potential.... and even that is seen for what it is and lovingly embraced now. Life without fear is a life of freedom.
Love!
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 5:41:53 PM
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Thanks for sharing cosmic! that's awesome. There's some sort of change I've experienced which is similar.
Well if anyone has heard that "easy to dispense, near-impossible to consciously apply" advice: 'Just Be Yourself' AYP has enabled me to automatically just be myself.
I used to be quite socially shy, and sometimes become very nervous before meeting new people with whom I wasn't yet comfortable. The effects of this would be finding it hard to express myself with clarity and force, feeling inhibited and having nothing to say, blushing, finding it difficult to assert myslef, and feeling a tension in my jaw which made it hard to talk normally. Haha, just re-reading that sentence makes me laugh. Quite a powerful block. Over the past 4-5 months that has changed a lot. My job involves meeting with and pitching to CEOs of hedge funds and investment banks, some of whom are multi-billionaires and can be fairly aggressive and/or imposing individuals.
Since doing AYP, I'd be almost as relaxed, confident and uninhibited talking to a hyper-aggressive Wall Street big shot, who was firing questions at me at a mile a minute, as I would be say hanging out with my best friend. I find my internal emotional response is the same, no matter who I'm talking to, or what situation I'm in. Whether it's hanging out at a bar, or being in a job interview, my behavior adjusts appropriately, but my internal emotional response is just calmness.
It makes me a better and more respected communicator, because now whoever I'm with, I can... finally... Just Be Myself. |
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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 5:58:32 PM
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| I'll have some of that. |
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_Yogi_
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2011 : 9:28:03 PM
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| Bhairava aka terror loves me. I know that feel. ;) |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Nov 23 2011 : 03:26:50 AM
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That sounds excellent Cosmic.
Some what like Etherfish I have previously faced my fears down by doing things that would deliberately provoke a fear response.
What I noticed was that fear existed in me at a low level at all times. A sort of tension in the pit of my stomach, like hunger.
One night while lying in bed, I became really aware of it's energy. So I let it do it's worst, invited it in, said let's do it. You have sat there, tormenting me for so long about future fears and mistakes of the past, come out and do your worst. It did. It poured up my body, I went as rigid as a board, the feelings were like drowning. I accepted them and witnessed them at the same time.
When at last they subsided, I was soaked in sweat and physically exhausted. When I tried to find that fear, it had vanished, it never returned. I no longer lived in fear of past or future. I often describe it as meeting a demon, as it was almost alien. |
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Experience of Fear changing
