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Coopdog
USA
9 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 10:50:05 PM
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Hello, My name is Coop, and through a few yrs of diligent meditation practice and energy circulation work, I have somehow managed to awaken my kundalini energy.
I am almost a month into this, and just starting to realize that there are negatives to go with every positive, and that there are some negatives with this one also.
When this happened to me, I was driving the car, circulating energy chi kung style, and in a deep depression trying to meditate it away. Suddenly I was full of the light and love of the universe, and I thought I was having a psychotic break with reality. I nearly drove myself to a hospital. I experienced the true yin and yang in a half hours time. :)
However it felt so good that I could not medicate it away. Instead, after having lived on this planet for 46 years without dancing, I went home and danced till 3-4 am every night for a week straight! It could not be contained, and I loved every minute of it.
Now I am a month into this, and I find myself back to earth somewhat, but very much living in my heart chakra now, and having a hard time dealing with the emotional instability brought on every time I hear an old song or the wrong commercial comes on TV.
I wake up every morning thrumming with energy, and have adopted a fairly vigorous exercise program of pushups, squats, and other isometric, and tai chi type movements and stretches. I also give mama a good rubdown every night that helps me dissipate some of this crackling energy. I find I can't seem to sleep if she don't want a backrub. Still working on that.
Anyhow, I am not a yogin, but I am planning on taking a class to help me balance this energy.
Some background, I have been involved in energy healing and shamanism classes for three plus years now under a good teacher. I have explored many methods of gathering, building,and applying energy, such as basic chakra work, chi kung, qi gong, Kuji-in,Tai chi, Reiki, Huna, and shamanism from all over the world. I have been a serious student of meditation for years now and have had awakening after awakening through simple meditation. I have worked to be here...Now what?
I got an offer to teach meditation classes today. I wish I could somehow make this my calling. Not sure if I am in a place to take on that responsibility right now as I am extremely wrought with emotion, to the point that it has cost me two days work because my wife got mad at me. My shields are down, and I am open to all sorts of unwanted energy.
Dunno if this is welcome here or not, but I was just looking for someone in the world who doesn't think kundalini is an italian dessert. I guess I just crave some sort of interaction as I only see my teacher twice a month and I am sort of lost at the moment.
Overwhelmed I reckon. I read somewhere that to make progress you must first go off balance, then take that step and rebalance yourself again in order to achieve movement. I am trying hard to rebalance. I just hope this doesn't cost me too much.
I wanted to memorialize this time in my life with a tattoo. I had my daughter draw me up two dogs, a big black one and a big white one, where they come together they form a yin yang symbol. I got it inked on saturday. I wish there was a place to post a picture of it for you all.
Thank you for taking the time if you read all of this malarkey :)
Peace and Love
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Edited by - AYPforum on Jun 10 2012 6:16:23 PM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2011 : 08:25:57 AM
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Welcome to the AYP forums, Coopdog.
You my friend, have come to the right place... we are all well versed with Kundalini energy and the overloads and the management of the energy.
Take a look at this lesson: http://www.aypsite.org/69.html
You have done a great job of keeping this energy under control, by exercising and grounding.
Having a spontaneous kundalini awakening is a gift from the divine, and we have to work on using it to purify our nervous system and hence opening up channels so that we can become the conduit through which the divine can flow into this world.
We have a two step process, the first is to practice deep meditation : http://www.aypsite.org/13.html , this helps cultivate the stillness that we actually are. Then in a few days/weeks/months (whenever we feel comfortable), we add spinal breathing pranayama: http://www.aypsite.org/41.html . This helps us purify our nervous system so the stillness can flow into our ever day lives.
There are many other practices like samyama, and mudras and bandhas that can be added on as you keep going. The main lessons start from here: http://www.aypsite.org/10.html
I hope you give AYP a try. It has been a wonderful tool for many.
Do post any other questions or comments you may have.
Wish you all the best. |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2011 : 12:19:23 PM
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JosephUK
United Kingdom
212 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2011 : 12:42:53 PM
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Hey man,
Sounds like you've been on a totally awesome journey so far, I have great respect for your energy to seek out spiritual practices.
As Shanti said you're already doing the right things like exercise and grounding. At AYP we learn to control these energies flowing within us and when done correctly can be balanced even when taking a step forward.
it's like rock climbing, if you can make a move in a balanced way you keep your strength and you gain more height.
I reccomend you take a look at the lessons shanti suggested and really get to grips with how best to deal with the kundalini symptoms.
I've found that i had a kundalini awakening without really knowing it and for me i was raw with emotion, but after some time reading AYP and studying myself and others experience i've been able to gradually balance it out.
we are all laying the foundations for the greatest journey and a Happy one too :)
Joe |
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Coopdog
USA
9 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2011 : 1:56:33 PM
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Wow, I am so glad I came here. I have been doing spinal breathing in a mannor of speaking for years. I am at the top of my class for working with the chi or prana energy, because I spend the time daily to meditate and circulate the energy along the microcosmic and macrocosmic orbit, or sometimes I alternate and do it spinal breathing style which seems to be basic chi kung with some minor changes.
Living in y heart chakra has been challenging. Yesterday I pulled myselfg back to a spiritual state with holistic body mind spirit music, and some meditative drumming, and some centering exercises.
I still sometimes wonder if I have lost my mind. We are no stranger to spirit activity in our home, I think due to the lightwork we do, hence the shamanism. But since this has happened to me I am much more perceptive of orbs, and flashes here and there that appear to be a hint of the motion of someone walking, or that is my instinctive reaction.
As I meditate, there is spiritual activity around me. If I do it with my eyes open, I see all kinds of things twinkling in the dark where there should be nothing. Our bedroom is very dark from my time working night shift, and on top of that we have heavy darkening curtains strung around the bed with valances that seal up the gap by the ceiling, so when I meditate it is dark.
I also realize that the eyes play tricks in the dark, and I am no stranger to visual distortions ;) These are not the usual type. I also noticed that as I meditate in this pitch black space, that a few times as I am performing the Kuji-in mudras that I can see my hands very slightly illuminated from towards my body. As if I had a slight glow that was being reflected in the dark by the inside of my hands.
My reflexes are much improved, and if I drop something now I catch it 90% of the time, and if I do not, I have time to make the decision not to. Like time slows down. I have also had to quit eating all beef and pork products, and have not been able to eat them now for the last year.
This has resulted in an 80 lb weight loss, and now I am a very muscular 210 from all the exercises I do instead of the portly guy I was before. I think this energy was improving me over the last year or so and I did not even realize it. I blamed the meat thing on a hiatal hernia, whereas instead it could very well have been this energy rising in me.
This has been a fascinating lifetime! I hope I can stay on top of this energy, and keep it flowing in me, and keep my life together at the same time.
One question, is this an ongoing process? should I expect more psychosis? Over happy people get UA tests and medication nowadays. :)I have read where this happens over and over to some folks. I don't know how much of ths I could take and still keep my job and home life together and I am not kidding. I need to rebuild my shields.
I will keep you informed as to my progress with this, and thanks for being there just to discuss it with.
Peace and love... |
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Coopdog
USA
9 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2011 : 2:21:58 PM
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I was disappointed when I logged back in here. I was so hoping for some interaction about all of this. I don't know if I expressed it enough in the posts before, but I am in distress! This has not been an entirely positive experience, despite the head in the clouds thing I have had going on.
I hope the spiritual stuff did not put a negative spin on my posts, as that is part of our life, and I forget it is not for most of the people out there.
Last night even after some good relaxation time with the wife, I was just crackling with energy. I can't very well be up at 3 am exercising, and I was way to active minded for proper meditation.
People think I am on drugs, even the wife asked me and did not seem to believe me when I told her that I had truly tapped my kundalini energy. Reading through these forums I have laughed out loud a few times at peoples astonished reactions to this. :)
If I had not had the tools under my belt that I have gathered, I would have lost it completely and went and turned myself in to the nearest hospital.
Since then it is as if I am walking through a dream. People act weird around me, and say strange things. I was telling a good friend about some of this stuff, and saying I have to dial it back in, and he said to please not, or at least not much, because he likes just standing around me now because I am putting off a cloud of positive energy that is very refreshing, and he said he did not even know he was sensitive to the energy, but that it was an unmistakable feeling and it was pretty cool. Now we walk together at lunch.
He also said that it must be contagious because he went home and danced with his wife too! I thought that was pretty cool.
I was so hoping I could find someone to share my enthusiasm and interact with. Shanti, thank you for the links to the deep meditation and spinal breathing, though the one for the spinal breathing did not work. (just letting ya know it is not a working link)
I think I will try some binaural beats to help me sleep tonight.
Peace and love...
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2011 : 7:30:56 PM
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Coopdog,
People are very supportive and helpful on the site. Don't be concerned about the lack of response. Your previous post basically said... "Lots of energy. Things are happening."
It sounds like you have a supportive wife and friends. That makes it a lot easier. To answer your question, it continues to grow. Does the energy feel like vibrations? Have you tried moving it around your body?
Peace, Jeff |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2011 : 8:12:49 PM
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Hi Coopdog.
I fixed the links. Sorry about that.
I guess I have said all I could say in my post above.
In Yogni's words:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=7653#67740
1. Kundalini awakening is a partnership between ourselves and the divine. Have you taken ownership of your role in this partnership, or do you consider yourself to be a victim in it?
I have talked about the tools we have here at AYP in my post above. When the energy is high, we first ground the energy by exercising, eating heavy, staying away from things that ignite our bhakti (spiritual books, songs, music, art etc.). We also self pace wherein we cut back on practices till we feel like we are stable and then slowly add back practices.
Here is more from the post I quoted above:
quote:
Originally posted by yogani
Perhaps a few pointed questions should be asked (maybe we should have done this first):
1. Kundalini awakening is a partnership between ourselves and the divine. Have you taken ownership of your role in this partnership, or do you consider yourself to be a victim in it?
2. Do you consider yourself responsible to take the lead in navigating through the kundalini aspects of your spiritual journey?
3. Have you redirected your attention from excessive focus on kundalini symptoms into productive activities in daily living to whatever degree you can?
4.What were your practices and daily activity during initial kundalini awakening, and what are they now?
5. Are you engaged in daily physical work and/or exercise?
6. Have you tried a twice-daily routine of AYP spinal breathing pranayama as per Lesson 69?
7. Have you tried a twice-daily routine of AYP deep meditation?
8. Have you tried chin pump and/or any other AYP methods?
9. Are you favoring a vata/pitta pacifying diet?
10. Have you tried Taoist grounding practices, like Tai Chi?
11. What other measures have you tried over the years to find a balance with kundalini?
12. Of all the things you have tried, what has helped, and what has not?
13. What are you inclined to be doing next?
If you can answer these questions, it will give a better idea of what is going on. Right now it is not really clear where you stand in relation to these key areas of consideration.
Thanks!
The guru is in you.
I truly hope some of this helps.
I am sure others will chime in, give them some time.
Wish you all the best. |
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Coopdog
USA
9 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2011 : 03:29:53 AM
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1. Yes, I have actively been pursuing higher spiritual planes through meditation and healing. I did not actually believe in kundalini energy before this, but I am certainly no victim. I have worked long and hard to be here.
2. Yes I am responsible. I am a serious seeker, and I am in this for life. This has become my path.
3. I have been working my proverbial butt off :)
4. Before the kundalini awakening, I was going through a deep depression about my own weaknesses. I was drinking heavily, and smoking a lot of stuff to relax. I was experimenting with entheogenic plants and substances seeking my spirit guides to aid in my healing practice. I consider myself a serious student of shamanism, and this is my life path, and has been for years now. I have also not done any entheogenic hallucinogens since this happened, as I do not want to ruin this mindset.
5. I wake up with energy just thrumming through my body. I feel like my vitality current has been amped up, like I am on meth or something, but much cleaner and pure. I usually get up and do a vigorous half hour of exercises, then go to work and work my butt off there too, Since my kundalini awakening I have doubled my exercise routine and my walking routine at lunch every day and still got energy to burn.
6. Three years of deep meditation and pranayama is what got me to this point. I have adopted a morning meditation also, and I do a deep meditation at night. I am indeed having intense spiritual feelings, broke down in tears of joy on the way to work today as I got a sudden influs of pure love/light/bliss right up my backbone like an all over body orgasm. Honestly it is a bit too much.
7. See above
8. Dunno what that is, I will have to research it and get back to you. The chin tucking technique used in chi kung is rather uncomfortable for me to use, so I don't often do it.
9. My diet is very light. I usually eat a big fruit smoothie every morning with a scoop of protein powder in it and a half an avacado every day, usually with an orange, a kiwi, and a banana and the half an avacado in it. I have a fish or chicken sandwich for lunch on the way to work, and a good quality TV dinner for supper. I eat light because I have a rather severe hiatal hernia, and I get very ill if I eat much, so it is what it is for now.
10. I do simple stick tai chi movements, bending and stretches type stuff. I am not a student I just picked up a book with some great exercises in it that appealed to my soul, so I been using them. I have also been developing my own sort of dynamic movement that I use to play with the chi energy. I also do a few sets of pushups every day, sometimes I use the rotating stands, sometimes not, squats, bicycles, lunges, and other isometric type body weight kind of exercises.
11. Just got this energy, trying my best to work it out now.
12. Basically doing energy work on another person or grounding myself on the earth, which ain't real practical this time of year here, and can't be undured for long is the things that work best for me, short of that nothing helps dissipate the energy, not even orgasm helps me relax.
13. I am inclined to be practicing my healing or teaching, as my teacher wants me to take a more active roll in our classes, and also I have been offered a chance to teach meditation at an alternative healing center near here, as one of the newer students owns the healing cventer and she really liked the meditation I led the class on. I don't think I am going to take that offer at the moment because I am so out of balance. I need to continue being a student for a while IMHO, as I feel like I just graduated 1st grade and am just getting started, regardless of how others feel about it. I need to harness this tiger and make it work for me.
Is that even possible? Am I stuck in this psychotic state now for the rest of my life?
If I stop practicing, will this fade away? (Not that I would do that)
THANK YOU for taking the time to reply, I been losing my mind.
Peace and Love... |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2011 : 08:52:07 AM
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Sorry, I think I am not clear in what I am saying.
Let me try again.
Lets say, we have a fever and are sick but we keep pushing ourselves to move and work and keep up with our normal life, we are not doing ourselves a favor, we are just making ourselves weaker and heading for a point of exhaustion. As we keep pushing ourselves, there will be a point when our body will give up and force us to take rest (maybe by sending us to the hospital ) and then getting out of that weakened state is much harder than taking a couple of days off, resting, getting back to normal and then starting our life again.
That is what self pacing is about. When we have high energy (you cannot sleep, your feel like you are in a "psychotic state")... but we don't rest and stop the practices that is causing us discomfort... we are fighting a losing battle. Things will just keep getting worse... till we hit a point of exhaustion and decide all this is not worth it. Better to take off from practices for a bit and get grounded and then adding back practices in a controlled fashion where now we can make the best of the divine gift send our way, is a much smarter choice.
Life will give us all we need (including this forum right now and this advice you are getting), it's up to us what we do with it.
It's easy to be swept off by bhakti and get thrown around by the waves of the energy... it is much much harder to keep control over the bhakti and the energy... but it can be done... it is done by self pacing... and once we can master the energies... we are in charge... we are controlling our ship through the rough waters and the calm waters (we have taken ownership of our role in this partnership with the divine), rather than get tossed around by the big waves and almost drown and be at the mercy of the ocean of kundalini energy (be a victim).
Again, you choice.
Practice wisely.
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2011 : 12:57:29 PM
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My favourite grounding technique (if nothing else works) is to put your head (or forehead) on the ground. Touch your head/forehead on the ground. Like this:
http://cdn.elev8.com/files//2009/06...ing-down.jpg
http://dangitbill.files.wordpress.c.../psalm95.jpg
I did this in front of my Master's photo. But its not necessary.
If required, you can imagine the excessive energy going/flowing back into earth from your crown/third eye. My forehead used to stick/glue with the ground for a few minutes like a magnet. While my body would go ecstatic and then become firmly grounded.
No more dancing!
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Coopdog
USA
9 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2011 : 1:19:13 PM
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Thank you sir for the advise, and I will stop my practice for now. This has become such a habitual part of my life that NOT focusing on my breath will be a challenge. I so desperately want not to lose this energy in my life, as happiness and joy have not been a big part of my life, so I have been trying to deal with it and continue onwards as if nothing had changed in my practice. I will modify this, and stop the energy circulation practices for now.
This feels like giving up to me, but I trust your advise, and since I haven't been doing very well at staying on top of this emotional ride, I feel I have a LOT to learn before I will be able to say I have mastery over this. I will keep studying, and lighten up on the energy work. Thank you sir for taking the time to answer.
Peace and Love... |
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Coopdog
USA
9 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2011 : 1:29:13 PM
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didn't see an edit option so I added another post. Thanks for the grounding technique too, I will try that. I just wanted to say that I will not be a victim here. I have made great strides in self control over the years, and I believe I will come out on top of this as a stronger healer. Just having to ask for help is an alien thing to me, but My teacher I only see twice a month, and he is so busy I hate to be calling him all the time, though I will if I need to.
Thanks again for the replies. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2011 : 6:01:15 PM
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Hi Coopdog,
The little pencil paper icon on top of the post is the edit button.
You sound sad, please don't be. We have all had to slow down and/or stop practices every now and then and then keep going. We have to remember this journey is a marathon, not a sprint.
These words from one of our other members says it really well
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=9161#79139
quote:
Originally posted by emc
AYP practices - even in their most self-paced form, which litterally means "none", and which I have been practicing the latest x months or so - has had a tremendous effect! Hahaha! Weird, but true! Cause the "no practices" has been consciously a part of AYP practices, built on the knowledge of the AYP experiment; hard core self-pacing. And it brings results, when you know what you're doing and why! So now, meditation is possible again - with greater stability this time. Absolutely a life changing habit!
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2011 : 11:53:35 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Coopdog
I so desperately want not to lose this energy in my life, as happiness and joy have not been a big part of my life, so I have been trying to deal with it and continue onwards as if nothing had changed in my practice. I will modify this, and stop the energy circulation practices for now.
Somehow reminded me of this:
Questioner: I feel the need of cooling down.
Nisargadatta: It is very often so with Americans and Europeans. After a stretch of sadhana they become charged with energy and frantically seek an outlet. They organise communities, become teachers of Yoga, marry, write books -- anything except keeping quiet and turning their energies within, to find the source of the inexhaustible power and learn the art of keeping it under control.
Questioner: I admit that now I want to go back and live a very active life, because I feel full of energy.
Nisargadatta: You can do what you like, as long as you do not take yourself to be the body and the mind. It is not so much a question of actual giving up the body and all that goes with it, as a clear understanding that you are not the body. A sense of aloofness, of emotional non-involvement.
Questioner: Is pleasure always wrong?
Nisargadatta: The right state and use of the body and the mind are intensely pleasant. It is the search for pleasure that is wrong. Do not try to make yourself happy, rather question your very search for happiness. It is because you are not happy that you want to be happy. Find out why you are unhappy. Because you are not happy you seek happiness in pleasure; pleasure brings in pain and therefore you call it worldly; you then long for some other pleasure, without pain, which you call divine. In reality, pleasure is but a respite from pain. Happiness is both worldly and unworldly, within and beyond all that happens. Make no distinction, don’t separate the inseparable and do not alienate yourself from life.
http://www.fixdisease.com/i_am_that.pdf
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2011 : 02:29:45 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Coopdog
Thanks for the grounding technique too, I will try that. I just wanted to say that I will not be a victim here.
The Earth is like a Big Yoga Mat (asan).
You can always retain/gather up the energy that you ground in it. Exactly the way you had it earlier (dancing).
Nothing's lost. Open your heart.
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Coopdog
USA
9 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 03:01:01 AM
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Figured I would stop back and report in. This has been one crazy ride indeed, but I think I finally got this tiger by the tail so to speak, and I am semi balanced again, even if my balance is sort of fragile.
I now get up every morning and do a strenuous isometric exercise routine. My body is responding to the work well, and is taking the extra exertion very well. I still have days where I am just crackling with energy, and my vitality is huge even on my more off days.
I took to heart the paragraph above about Westerners frantically seeking an outlet. :) I too had a strong urge to spread this knowlege around, and I was actually offered a position teaching meditation classes, but after all this, I don't feel as if I am ready to be a teacher yet. Funny, a couple months ago, I thought I was ready, and now I suddenly feel as if I am back in first grade. I got a lot of learning to do still. :)
I trned inside asa the poster suggested, and came up with healing the Mother as my method of dispersal for this huge energy. I figured the entire basis of my spiritual practice has been based on Earth Healing, and trying to bring the Earth back into balance, while also visualizing the raising of the consciousness of the entire human race, so I went back to that with a whole new level of consciousness to apply it with, and it has been most interesting.
I experimented with a couple sessions of Kundalini yoga and thought I was going to have to dance for a week, but it finally went back to my new level of semi-normal. Now I am in a state of joy and peace the majority of the time, and it is just truly bizarre to go through life like that. I still wonder sometimes if I need medication, but overall it has been so entirely positive that I cann't bring myself to go to the doctor for it.
Thank you all for the guidance, it took me in the right direction I think.
Peace and Love... |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Mar 13 2011 : 2:58:59 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Coopdog
Now I am in a state of joy and peace the majority of the time, and it is just truly bizarre to go through life like that. I still wonder sometimes if I need medication, but overall it has been so entirely positive that I cann't bring myself to go to the doctor for it.
The more you are awake, the more peace and joy... naturally.
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kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
Posted - Apr 28 2011 : 09:30:13 AM
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My experience is that the pesonality must be absolutely pure; you need to almost be a saint, before you go far with Kundalini. Any imperfection in your character will be magnified 10 fold, when Kundalini becomes lodged in your crown chakra.
Yes, Kundalini will burn away imperfections, also known as neurons and brain cells. That burning you feel at one time or another? If it's painful and not just annoying, that is what's happening.
That is why a person with a very active Kundalini must eat a lot of protein; protein is what you need to build and repair damaged tissues.
For some time now, I had thought to "reveal many kundalini secrets", so that the coming crisis in the world might be attenuated or avoided.
However quiet fortunately it came to my attention that I'm not presently qualified to do such a thing; oh sure, I know the 'secrets'. It would be impossible not to, given the path I've been on.
However I act as an isolated personality far too often; I am not an automatic conduit of grace. I am not perfectly rooted in silence and ecstasy.
So I'd be a fool to wave around sparkly things, which could derail someone from their path.
This is my input; take it for what it's worth.
May you perfectly develop the siddhis of supreme calm, compassion and kind service.
-Kev |
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After Kundalini
