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sagebrush
USA
292 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 27 2010 : 1:32:41 PM
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A woman and a small child just knocked onmy door. The woman handed me an index card...it read-
Hello
Merry Christmas
I am a deafmute and I am selling this card to support my family.
Pay any price that you wish.
Thank you for your kindness
+
God Bless You!
on the back of the card it reads
Merry Christmas
smile(with two drawn smile faces)
and the hand symbol for I LOVE you in american sign language.
I forgot to add that the front of the card has a snowman drawn with snow falling.
So, if this was to happen to you hypothetically speaking....what would you do? give? communicate? |
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Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - Nov 27 2010 : 1:58:04 PM
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| Give. Forget what other people are thinking or believing. Such opportunities are very good to give. It is about your heart and love that flows out independant of anything else (reason etc.). |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Nov 27 2010 : 5:31:37 PM
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| Give whatever you feel comfortable with and don't worry about it. |
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11jono11
United Kingdom
181 Posts |
Posted - Nov 27 2010 : 6:10:41 PM
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Give what you can (take what you need), always a good mantra to live by (though obviously don't take anything from the woman  ).
So yeah, as Victor said I would give what I felt comfortable with. I agree with Holy, such opportunities are good. Occasionally in such circumstances I wish I could give more and that makes me feel uncomfortable, or trying to decide what to give can make me feel uncomfortable. Again, give what you can, take what you need. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Nov 27 2010 : 6:18:22 PM
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What I like to do when people are begging with signs is - don't read the signs at all. Look into their eyes and see what kind of people they are.
Or at first give something other than money - like a sandwich or soda and see how they react. If they react badly they are scammers.
But the people who are most in need won't come to your door, and won't beg on the street. You can tell by what they are carrying and how they move. |
Edited by - Etherfish on Nov 27 2010 6:19:37 PM |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2010 : 01:48:33 AM
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I normally never give any money to the beggars. But I will give food if I have it.
I remember meeting one beggar in my life that I can never forget.
A few years ago I came out from the Domino's with my family and this old beggar was standing in the street. He had nothning in his hands and was wearing just dirty clothes.
He kept looking at me. The strange thing was he did not ask for anything, he just kept looking and his eyes showed that he needed something. And I guess he knew that I want to give something too.
I liked that beggar. He had some style. 
So while we moved towards our car, he just stayed at his place and kept looking at me. Then we reached our car and my family was in. But I went back all the way to this beggar and gave him some money. And he just took it and went away... no thanks, no smile.
Man he was so cool.
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Rattan
South Africa
41 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2010 : 09:46:11 AM
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As Kami and others have said before, as soon as some issue is uppermost in your mind, along came a post that talks about it.
I have been having more than usual emotional problems with beggars this past week. I have been angry and irritated with them more than usual. Angry, probably because you feel sorry to see them in such desperation, angry because there is nothing you can do to really help them. Angry because they constantly remind you of the massive difference in your affluent life situation, and their desperate one.
In South Africa, the official jobless statistic is about 24%, while the more realistic figure is probably nearer to 33%. So you know for al lot of them it is an actual job to beg on streetcorners. And you get to know them, because each have the same spot they work from. But it does not matter how many times I shake my head indicating no, in a few hours or the next day, there they are again approaching you. Driving to work and back, I get so tired day after day, to be accosted at every stop at every traffic light, having to acknowledge them and shake my head. Park in a parking lot, and in moments you are accosted by someone.
The current advice seems to be that one should, as a matter of policy, never give money to children beggars - for a lot of good reasons. In principle I do not give money to any street beggars. Also for reasons I have sorted out for myself a long time ago.
To give part of your income away, is advised by all religions. And I agree completely, giving generously to a variety of causes every year. Mostly to NGO's working with the plight of South Africa's underpriveledged.
The problem is not the giving,which can never be enough in any case, but the negative emotions trigered by the beggars day in and day out.
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sagebrush
USA
292 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2010 : 11:18:55 AM
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I did take something from her- I accepted her gratitude/smile for my willingness to give five dollars and a bakery wrapped cookie..
I felt her asking was genuine and noticed that she and the child were clean in appearance, although she lacked a few front teeth...which would lead me to believe that there would be some financial issues.
I like to see my thinking swim all over...
with the replies....
I am glad different people replied, and I try to see or understand the perspectives.
thanks for sharing.
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2010 : 12:31:30 PM
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Give or not giving it's all the same. The difference is in how we respond.
If you give from feelings of guilt, or in order to feel better about yourself, if you expect some spiritual gain from your giving, or regret giving, then these are all reactions to activities.
Give, or do not give. Do not have guilt, pleasure or expectation of any reward either materially or spiritually. If you walk away and feel guilty that you should have done something, then that is also reactive.
It should not matter which you choose, both courses of action should feel the same. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2010 : 12:37:32 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by sagebrush
Pay any price that you wish.
Thank you for your kindness
+
God Bless You!
In the business that's what we call an 'assumptive close'. It doesn't give a choice only assumes you will pay something. Added to the assertion that you are dealing with someone who is deaf and mute it is also impossible to argue, particularly with a small child. I shall let you decide if it's a confidence trick, very similar to the gypsy curse. |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2010 : 1:54:16 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by karl
I shall let you decide if it's a confidence trick, very similar to the gypsy curse.
From a narrow, "welfare state" perspective, I would wonder how much of this is beggar tourism because an adult using a kid as a tool sounds like a warning, the weakest party in such situations always being the child IMO.
But you've still the option of donating to charities or foundations who are trustworthy, transparent, and skilled to make wise decisions. So Karl's advice works independent of whom you give to: Give what you feel OK with, and giving should feel about the same as not giving. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2010 : 2:36:51 PM
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You can tell them you will only give to a reputable organization, and to go there for help. We have "homeless" people standing on hundreds of street corners with signs. But when the head of a local relief organization gives out coupons for a free meal, no obligation and no preaching involved, only 7% of those coupons are redeemed. They are all given within walking distance of his mission.
A small percentage of homeless are mentally ill, and wouldn't trust the mission even for a free meal. But the vast majority of beggars are scammers.
So go to the missions that are actually helping people in need, and you will find people truly in need.
Just a side note: give to them anonymously, because if you give your name and address, they will send endless junk mail and waste all the money you gave them. It may pay off with rich people, but not me.
Where I live there are missions who feed the homeless. They hang around outside the mission. Those are the truly needy people. Go see what they really look like. They are different than people who come to your door, or hold up signs on the street corner.
Don't get me wrong, some on the corner are needy. And they are clean because the mission gave them a shower. But those are in a minority, so I don't trust those on the street corners.
Just ask the beggars what organization they get help from, and you will donate. If they don't have one, suggest one, because it is the only way you will help them.
Of course if they need help other than money, that's different, and usually a good sign. a guy was begging in a large parking lot for change to get back home. it's a common scam here. I drove by hours later, and he was still sitting in his car. I brought a gas can with gas, and gave it to him, and he was ecstatic! |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2010 : 5:12:57 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by karl
In the business that's what we call an 'assumptive close'. It doesn't give a choice only assumes you will pay something. Added to the assertion that you are dealing with someone who is deaf and mute it is also impossible to argue, particularly with a small child. I shall let you decide if it's a confidence trick
I regard it as a con. As a general rule, I would not give money in such cases. But I occasionally break that sort of general rule.
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/f...ge963684/pg1
On an oddly related note, The Love Projece put up a new mural a block from my house this past week. The mural features the word love spelled out in sign language.
http://www.baltimoreloveproject.com/the_walls.html
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Edited by - bewell on Nov 28 2010 5:26:54 PM |
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what would you do?
