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Mstromberg
USA
11 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 11 2010 : 04:17:39 AM
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I've had an interesting night. I wrote this on my Facebook to perhaps have my friends and family better understand what I have come to see. Just thought I'd share, any feedback would be nice too, good or bad :)
Waiting, patiently, I tapped my finger on the desk in front of me. It seemed as if time itself was on vacation. For months I sat here, waiting for the answer. Waiting for that spark. Waiting for the light, to be.
I stared intently at the hourglass before me. It glowed so brilliantly in the shallow, pale darkness of the room. It wasn't a small room. It wasn't unpleasant by any means. This room was where I was sent to be. To learn. To understand.
Again I tapped my fingers. My thoughts themselves became boring. Being the kind of person I am, that's saying a lot. I stood up from the chair I sat in everyday, and walked to the back of the room. I looked at the walls, the floor, and ceiling. Looking at these things, I realize they were real. Like me.
I could see them, because they were in front of me. The world in which I was put inside of was what existed for me within my mind.
I put my hand on the wall, and felt the ridges, the way in which they changed every so often, yet worked together to form the barrier they were intended to be. I felt my feet against the cold floor.
The floor itself was cold, and when my feet touched them, they also became cold.
I then thought to myself, what if I want my feet to be warm? Prior to even noticing the floor beneath my on my feet, I had no idea that was my feet were even cold.
I blinked and stared forward.
"My feet..are warm" I said to myself.
"My feet are warm"
"The floor is cold"
"My blood is hot. My body is full of blood. There is blood in my feet. There is actually hot blood in my feet. And so my feet are warm."
I began to feel the blood in my feet. I felt for the heat I knew existed within it. I focused on the fact my feet were warm, and were only cold because my brain told my feet to feel cold, which told my brain to tell me that my feet were cold, so I would be aware that my feet were cold. But in the end.
My feet are warm.
I turned around, and looked at the room I was inside of.
I looked, my eyeballs took in the scenery around me, and my brain told me was what was there.
The room I was gazed upon was a room because I knew it was a room.
That I was inside of. I was within the confines of the room I told myself I was inside of.
I blinked once, you know, to add effect to the realization I was having about the reality before me.
The walls around me slowly melted to the ground. The ceiling above me began to peel away along with the walls, into the ground. The floor underneath my feet melted away, and I felt nothing now beneath my feet.
There was only white. Only bright, white light.
I grew tired of standing, and decided I would sit. I then sat down, and crossed my legs. I put each hand on one knee, and raised my palms to that which was above me. I closed my eyes, and inhaled deeply. I then exhaled, feeling the oxygen exchange occurring within my lungs.
I felt that I was. And so then I was. I sat. I realized. And I breathed.
I opened my eyes, and took in the bright white light. My brain no longer told me I saw something. I simply knew that I was seeing what was before me.
I imagined the desk within the room. I now saw the desk before me. I grinned, and stood up.
I stood with my legs spread, and my arms in the air now. I slowly let my left and right arms fall in a circular pattern, towards that which was beneath me. My fingers tingled. I moved my hands back up, and positioned them in front of my abdomen, creating a sphere. I looked in front of me at the desk. I told myself there was no desk.
The desk no longer stood before me.
I grinned at the empty space before me.
And realized that which was
me. |
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