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faileforever
USA
190 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 15 2010 : 11:42:50 PM
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I havent found this on the forums but its a huge factor in my life and im wondering if anyone has any advice or input..
I have a twin sister who i am incredibly close and attached to. We have always lived close by or together, currently we share an apartment..
I feel like we are going down different paths, my path is pushing her away. She started AYP with me but after a very uplifting start has faded off and now she pulls away when I try and talk to her about it. Its almost like she is upset because she wasnt feeling or experiencing what I was? I know, i shouldnt worry about others choices and paths in life but she is my other half..i feel like im leaving her behind if she fades out or gives up because of lack of motivation and desire. She is my twin- how can I let go of someone so close and let them make their own choices? |
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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2010 : 12:54:09 AM
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Talk about something else with her. 
Seriously though. It is an illusion that you have to choose between your sister and your practices. Take the middle road. |
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Clear White Light
USA
229 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2010 : 08:09:07 AM
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| What makes you feel that you have to let go of her just because she doesn't want to practice AYP? |
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faileforever
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2010 : 1:24:27 PM
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Very true, it is an illusion..im just wondering if anyone else has gone through this? Its one thing not being able to really talk to my family about this (if they heard some of the Kundalini experiences i would be sent to a mental hospital im sure!) but its hard when its someone who has been your best friend and closest partner in everything all of your life she also still comes and talks to me about it, a lot. I try and avoid it or talking about my experiences, yet i know she is still very interested but seems to compare a lot. Thanks both of you though, i appreciate your advice |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2010 : 2:19:25 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by JDH
Talk about something else with her.
Perhaps even about other kinds of meditation and/or physical practices?
Even if you're twins, you might still be of different doshas, or have a slightly different track record in training, including for example, injuries? Also, unless your boyfriends are twins, I guess your lives will likely differ at other points in the future (apart from AYP) ?
Whatever she does, it's wise to do your practice for your own sake, to enjoy it, not in order to influence her.
My 2 c. /Hatha |
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sagebrush
USA
292 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2010 : 7:13:40 PM
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Hi Twin-
I sent a note and the universe has decided to loose it in the send.
So, I redo with the main ideas.
Things will happen of their own accord or not.
I think you can continue to support and love her no matter how distant you are even living in the same apartment.
Maybe she is afraid of ayp life...do you know for sure?
Urine drinking, tongue snipping, and bramacharya/tantra, and the general topics can be overloading.
Let us know how things go and maybe things work out.
I agree the middle road approach is ideal.
Don't give up on her just yet!
Peace,
Sage |
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faileforever
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2010 : 12:59:43 PM
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haha thank you sage, especially for redoing your post Yes,the urine drinking, slobbering all over ourselves to train our tongues and many other things are probably a bit foreign to her,thats a great point..there probably is some fear of the unknown involved. I wont give up! (she meditated with me this morning and it was goooood)
Thanks again, good to come home to such inspiring replies.
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2010 : 1:13:38 PM
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| Yes, people warm up to you when you show interest in what THEY are doing or thinking. Then they will like you more and be more likely to investigate what you are doing. |
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sagebrush
USA
292 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2010 : 4:10:37 PM
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Etherfish-
When you refer to "THEY"
are you also adding yourself in the equation?
I am sure you would include yourself in there...
I like the old saying when you point a finger to someone..the other three are pointing back to yourself.
Frankly, I am wondering if some of these posts are creative situations, written to stimulate conversation/thought...not necessarily directed at Cosmic/Twin posting....
And how is it that this morning you were able to get your twin to meditate this morning?
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2010 : 4:47:19 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by sage890
Etherfish-
When you refer to "THEY"
are you also adding yourself in the equation?
I am sure you would include yourself in there...
I like the old saying when you point a finger to someone..the other three are pointing back to yourself.
Yes, that includes me. When someone shows interest in my interests I warm up to them and am more likely to be interested in them.
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faileforever
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2010 : 1:15:24 PM
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I didnt 'get her to meditate' she came to me asking to join me
Im not going to push her or try and worry too much, just let things be. (she joined the forums today also *cheer*) Thanks again! |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2010 : 1:21:10 PM
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Hi,
I, too, am a twin, in an extremely similar circumstance. A few months ago I had a profound kundalini awakening experience. I've had the strong magnetic urge to share this with my brother so he can join me on the path. It's tough because he is struggling with alcohol abuse, just as I was before my recent kundalini awakening and the timely unfolding of other precipitous events.
The truth and the best wisdom I could offer is: the divine radiance and love with pour out from the inside out. The more you continue to practice AYP and cultivate your own bhakti, the more things will fall in place with your twin.
My twin brother finally meditated with me last week. It was a small step, but an important one that shows he is moving forward.
God be with you,
Cody |
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faileforever
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2010 : 1:33:18 PM
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Bodhi its so nice to meet you!!! What a relief and wonderful feeling to read about someone going through something almost exactly like what im going through! (gave me happy chills)
Great advice- I will try my best to follow, best of luck to you as well. Please feel free to keep us posted, as I will do the same. |
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Kite
USA
18 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2010 : 4:27:10 PM
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Hi all (faileforever's twin here),
I am so blessed to have a wonderful sister and online community thinking about me.
It is true that I struggle with meditation at times, but other days I love it, which is very confusing to me and causes me to meditate irregularly. I'm guessing I'm doing something incorrectly to have started this love/hate relationship with meditation? Is it simply the irregular meditation that has caused this? Or perhaps I'm listening to an over-inflated ego, which is comparing my results to my sister's?
Basically, how do I know if the AYP path is right for me? I've read about so many different paths to reaching enlightenment, that I often find myself thinking, "There has to be a core beneath all of these paths, techniques, ideas! Find the true core and you will find enlightenment!" Of course, how can I find the core without utilizing a technique, right? Which puts me back at the question of which technique to use. It is a vicious circle for me at this point and I'm not sure how to get out.
I appreciate any advice.
Love you, sis. |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2010 : 09:25:26 AM
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Welcome to the forums, Kite.
I might have some difficulty ridding myself of my stereotyped reasoning here : twin #1 logs in and makes a post, and needless to say, #2 logs in just a moment later
Mentioning twins, IMHO your post is almost a twin of http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....ID=8599#8599 .
It's about witnessing instead of expecting or evaluating, a distinction very similar across schools/traditions. When you're there, sitting, just gently favor your meditation over the sensations and thoughts.
Yes there are many paths to the top. What's special about AYP is the freeware approach. They don't charge you a zillion for reading and practising these pages.
What's special about tantra in general is that you gradually tame your sexual energy to have it fuel your practice, and you're given a set of doable techniques for that. This makes Tantra less lean, or more "turgid", than Zen or even Vipassana. On the other hand, self-paced Tantra practice can enrich several areas of one's life at the same time.
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faileforever
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2010 : 11:33:55 AM
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Welcome sis
Hatha, I dont understand your 'stereotyped reasoning'?
Are you thinking we might be the same person...? |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2010 : 2:20:20 PM
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| I don't know if this is helpful but in my experience the longer that I meditate (years) the less there is to talk about. It is a deeply personal experience and is just something that I do like eating, sleeping, etc. I might tell someone that I had a good practice, or maybe a restless one but otherwise its just my practice, no drama, just my practice, like you might say that you slept well or had a good meal but wouldn' make a big fuss about the details. Just a thought. It shouldn't interfere with your relationships, just is a little time out during your day. |
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Kite
USA
18 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2010 : 3:52:07 PM
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HathaTeacher and Victor,
I appreciate the insightful responses, thank you both .
I've realized I've been labeling my meditations as "good" or "bad" instead of simply witnessing them. I then make a fuss about the details, as Victor mentioned, which is especially non-helpful when I start discussing the details of my meditation with my twin sister, who has very different experiences than I do and this starts the whole twin comparison issue. I will make sure to "favor the practice" as opposed to the results and keep any details to myself. I guess my sis and I are so used to sharing EVERY detail of life with each other that this is quite a change!
I've stuck with a regular meditation schedule for the past two days and I'm already noticing positive changes. Thanks to all for your words of wisdom (and my dear sister)! |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2010 : 5:54:51 PM
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Hi Kite, and fellow twin,
I'm very fond of Bruce Lee movies, and Bruce Lee's approach to martial arts. He began his own discipline, which essentially was a discipline that incorporated various traditions and encouraged the practitioner to
find their own way.
One thing he said, though, which I think we can all benefit from is: "Be like water." Water is poured into a glass, it becomes the glass. It runs down a stream, it becomes the stream. Whatever the situation, the element of water is so beautiful because of its ability to flow, mold and adapt to its environment.
In meditation, we are just adapting to our environment of inner silence. The ay am mantra is simply a tool to help us adapt. As Yogani says, we should be comfortable. I meditate on a chair with several pillows and my legs spread out. At first, I tried to attain a "perfect" cross-legged position, but it made it more difficult for me to touch the stillness, and allow the stillness to do some purification and opening.
So, remember, let the stillness do the work. Have faith in the divine process within our nervous system, and don't be afraid to have some fun and be a little creative with the mantra. My ay am mantra often takes on many different sounds: choirs of angels, rattlesnakes, the reverberation of a boomerang. The sound will melt into pure bliss consciousness, and healing beings with enter you.
It is a great gift to be a twin. The intensity of twin love also makes it challenging. I'm glad to now be part of the AYP network so we can share these kind of experiences with the foundation of spiritual practice.
Namaste. |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2010 : 6:26:58 PM
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| Ha ha two days! Keep at it for a few years and it will deepen and you won't worry too much about this stuff. Its just new and exciting is all. Enjoy the process and don't worry or make drama out of it... |
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faileforever
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2010 : 7:16:04 PM
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Bhodi-fellow twin ,
Your posts are so moving, the Bruce Lee/Water reference reminded me of my favorite movie Memoirs of a Geisha and how she was able to adapt to her life and its circumstances by 'being like water.'
Thank you for an inspiring and wonderful post...like water..smooth..flowing...non resistant water... |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2010 : 10:52:41 PM
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| Gosh, I really have to see that movie now, because my wife read the novel and really loved it. Now that you have also mentioned it, I'm going to put it directly on the Netflix queue! |
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devrim
Thailand
33 Posts |
Posted - Oct 20 2010 : 09:51:16 AM
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| "Be like water " Love it... Strong and at the same time flexible |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Oct 20 2010 : 10:16:03 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by faileforever
Welcome sis
Hatha, I dont understand your 'stereotyped reasoning'?
Are you thinking we might be the same person...?
Not the same person, although that would make fun as a practical joke ) I only meant a "labeling" tendency of my mind ("Twins", "like this", "like that"); just mental constructs, some confirmed in real life, some not. |
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Twins
