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cosmic_troll
USA
229 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 12 2006 : 05:47:09 AM
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Hello,
Does anyone know of a practice for attracting a Tantric lover/soulmate? Or maybe an existing AYP practice that has this side-effect?
Let me make it clear that I'm not looking to "get some" or have sex with lots of women. And I know the AYP and Tantric practices are more than sufficient in themselves, and I've had great progress with them. I just strongly feel that a deep part of me is going unexpressed by my being alone. And of course having someone to share a spiritual path with would be awesome.
Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! |
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Lili
Netherlands
372 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2006 : 05:47:07 AM
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Dear cosmic troll,
Thanks for giving me a laugh with this posting in the middle of the working day. It would be great to find a practice to attract whatever you want be it a tantric lover or simply someone who won't bore/annoy you after a few months. In case I find one promise to post it in the forum :). |
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Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2006 : 11:28:08 AM
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Hi Troll - I think you ask a very good question, and I doubt there's anyone out there who hasn't wondered the same. It's hard enough to meet people at all, much less a soulmate. I don't have any answers, but there are a gazillion books that do, or at least claim to. The premise of finding one's soulmate is based upon the presumption that we are somehow incomplete, and that in finding the Other, we find that missing part of ourselves. It sets up an unfortunate dynamic, in which we're constantly longing to be 'filled' or 'completed' from a source outside of ourselves. The truth is that we already possess the missing piece, and the work is to discover it within ourselves.
You might try sitting in a crowded cafe while reading a book on 'Finding a Tantric Lover'. The book might not help you much, but you might attract some attention. :) |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2006 : 2:24:57 PM
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| Well said Meg. We always seem to look elsewhere to find something to complete or fill our lives, but what we really need, is right here with us, all the time. |
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mystiq
India
62 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2006 : 11:43:29 PM
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I agree with shanti 100%
mystiq |
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nearoanoke
USA
525 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2006 : 05:25:37 AM
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I agree with you guys meg, shanti and mystiq that what we are looking to find is within us. But the important question is how long would it take to find that within ourselves compared to finding it outside. The entire world might be within us, but until we feel it that information is of no use to us. We cant wait till enlightenment to find a soul partner (within ourselves).
Coming to the actual topic of the thread, I think as people progress spiritually they will also develop that personal magnetism or charishma automatically.
Genes are a result of karma RATHER THAN A CAUSE OF IT - Yogani |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2006 : 12:43:16 PM
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| I think that Near hit the nail on the head. It certainly happened for me. Just doing my yoga and working on myself and being an expression of who I am inside has definitely increased a magnetism that seems to attract. That combined with losing the neediness that comes from feeling incomplete without a partner has made drawing potential partners to be a fun rather than frustrating experience. |
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cosmic_troll
USA
229 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2006 : 3:41:54 PM
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Thanks for the thoughtful responses, everyone. Meg, I agree that looking outside ourselves just sets us up for disappointment. It's occurred to me recently that maybe our inner male/female energies being imbalanced causes us to search for fulfillment in the world. AYP claims to balance these energies (I trust Yogani on this -- it's "under the hood" for me). This book idea of yours sounds like a close 2nd, though ;)
Near, I appreciate your sentiment here. Most of us have probably heard (and know) all the wisdom we'll ever need in life, but until we feel and experience that, it's just useless information. That's why AYP is so great... we can feel some positive results without having to rely too much on knowledge/belief/etc.
This is very encouraging... |
Edited by - cosmic_troll on Feb 18 2006 3:47:15 PM |
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Lavazza
69 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2006 : 04:16:02 AM
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"That combined with losing the neediness that comes from feeling incomplete without a partner has made drawing potential partners to be a fun rather than frustrating experience."
Yes, being complete and enough in yourself is a very attractive trait in a man. Unfortunately - according to my experience and what I have seen happen to others as well, but I am not sure if all of you would agree - a woman often wants to "destroy" the traits that attracted her and create the kind of incompleteness/neediness that would have put her off before. Some see that as the woman is testing the man, but I think we all have a strong drive to feel needed and that drive can take mysterious expressions sometimes. "There are no faithful men, only repressed men." To me the ultimate partner is someone who wants you to grow as a person and leave you better off than when you met, and who is thankful for each day together without having preconceived ideas or an agenda.
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Lili
Netherlands
372 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2006 : 05:31:39 AM
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I remembered a potentially relevant book I read last year. It is called 'Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire' by D. Chopra. He claims that if you write out your wishes on a sheet of paper and read them before meditation (in this case 20 minutes of So-Ham twice a day) plus read some sentences from the book your wishes will come true. So maybe you can test it with the tantric lover/soulmate and tell us if it is true  |
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2006 : 09:29:07 AM
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>> plus read some sentences from the book your wishes will come true
No doubt, if you believe this, you will be interested in buying the book and will spontaneously help in fulfilling some of Chopra's desires.
Chopra. Sigh.
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Edited by - david_obsidian on Feb 22 2006 09:29:30 AM |
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Lili
Netherlands
372 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2006 : 10:51:12 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by david_obsidian
No doubt, if you believe this, you will be interested in buying the book and will spontaneously help in fulfilling some of Chopra's desires.
Chopra. Sigh.
hihi this was so funny  . actually i bought it before i knew what is inside but i guess you are right. anyway yogani said that any reason/lie is good as long as it gets people to meditate. |
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2006 : 11:07:24 AM
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Lili said:
anyway yogani said that any reason/lie is good as long as it gets people to meditate
Hi Lili,
did Yogani actually say that? I strongly suspect that you have taken him out of context or something. Do you have the actual text where he said it?
Thanks,
-D |
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Lili
Netherlands
372 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2006 : 11:14:18 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by david_obsidian
Hi Lili,
did Yogani actually say that? I strongly suspect that you have taken him out of context or something. Do you have the actual text where he said it?
Thanks,
-D
No I summarized it perhaps incorrectly. I can't remember the actual text. It was something like there was a guy who promised his students enlightenment within 5 years and for this guy he said that any reason is good enough as long as it makes ppl do meditation.
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2006 : 11:43:23 AM
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I think the best way to attract a partner is to put yourself "out there" as often as possible, and talk to as many people as possible.
as Victor says it is absolutely necessary to get rid of the needy feeling because women smell that a mile away.
But if you take a class or some other group activity, and learn to *forget about finding someone* and practice AYP it will help greatly. At the activity, talk to as many people as you can and show an interest in them, both male and female. Find out what they like to do and how they view the world. This in combination with losing the neediness will attract a mate.
Go on casual dates with people you're not interested in sexually. This trains you so you'll be ready when you find one. |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2006 : 12:10:15 PM
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| Oh, and of course for a man who practices AYP and wants to meet a like minded woman I would strongly suggest going to a number of Yoga classes on a regular basis. While I am not suggesting using yoga class as a "pickup" situation it is certainly observed that there are generally twice as many women in most yoga classes as there are men and the likelihood that a woman who attends a yoga class would be inclined towards meditation and tantra is certainly likely to be higher than in the case of the general public. Take some yoga classes, make friends with other students and keep doing your AYP practices and you may actually find that the problem is not finding a woman but selecting which one you want to share your time with! |
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2006 : 12:28:28 PM
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as Victor says it is absolutely necessary to get rid of the needy feeling because women smell that a mile away.
Indeed. If you have a cute needy puppy on the end of a leash, that is a fantastic way to get female attention. If the needy puppy is at both ends of the leash, it won't work.
So: Best thing for a man is to walk the cutest puppy you can imagine into an outdoor female-dominant yoga-related gathering, at only one end of the leash, and give no clue as to why you are doing it.
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Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2006 : 1:09:20 PM
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That's a myth, you know. When a women goes to pat a puppy, she's adoring the dog, not the guy. I've patted many a pup with no intention of hitting on what's on the other end of the leash.  |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2006 : 1:25:03 PM
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| Now Meg, that may be true...but the toughest part is breaking the ice. Thats teh puppies job, the rest is up to the animal on the other end of the leash |
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Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2006 : 1:45:12 PM
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| I see. Wow - is it really that hard to meet us???? Seems so easy to me. I'll tell you what we women like, how's that? (most of us, anyway!) A guy who's totally honest and forward and not into any games whatsoever. Instant turn-on. Which takes a certain amount of chutzpah, which isn't easy to find. Puppies are okay, and sure to get attention, but you're best to be up front about why you're dragging one along. :) |
Edited by - Manipura on Feb 22 2006 1:55:22 PM |
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2006 : 2:51:14 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by meg
That's a myth, you know. When a women goes to pat a puppy, she's adoring the dog, not the guy. I've patted many a pup with no intention of hitting on what's on the other end of the leash.
Disagree. That may be true for you, but for many woman there is more than one reason to do something.
I've never walked a cute puppy, but I've seen the ice-breaker factor at work. The puppy doesn't just give people something to talk about, but it can have a strong positive emotional effect on some women and make them more receptive.
Meg said:
A guy who's totally honest and forward and not into any games whatsoever. Instant turn-on. Which takes a certain amount of chutzpah, which isn't easy to find.
Now there's a myth -- or a simplification at least. The real truth is that a woman wants a man, whom she happens to be attracted to, to be totally honest and forward in a way that happens to attract her, but no more forward than she happens to want at the time, ( which is different to what it happens to be is for the next woman right now, and different to what it happened to be for her yesterday when she was in a different mood) and she wants all this to happen when she happens to be in a receptive mood to be approached in the first place. If any of those isn't happenin', and he approaches her in a forward and direct way, he's a jerk.
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Edited by - david_obsidian on Feb 22 2006 3:06:30 PM |
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cosmic_troll
USA
229 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2006 : 01:50:24 AM
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Victor & Ether, I agree that neediness/desperation is totally unattractive (and it works the other way around, too). Desperate women are only attractive when the guy is also desperate (and vice-versa, probably). Meg, I find what you say about what women like to be true, but I'm not sure about the "not being into games" part. Maybe it's just the women I've dated, but they seemed to play games with me... either that or I'm a bonehead when it comes to women (very likely  ).
Here's an update:
After reading some of your replies, I let go of the whole idea of meeting someone, and just continued doing AYP and living my life. This past week, my AYP progress went up a notch or two. I'm starting to feel that magnetism Near wrote about... I've noticed that most women I encounter in daily life now look at me and smile. This was a rare occurrence before.
I even went to a bar/club with a friend of mine, with no intention of meeting women, and... I talked to a nice lady, and danced with another. The one I danced with kissed me. Despite the new attention I'm getting, I feel totally more relaxed about the whole process. I accept whatever the universe gives me (or doesn't).
So I think I'm gonna just keep doing my practices... Life is getting tasty right now. Thanks for your feedback and advice, everyone. You are a wise and kind group of peeps |
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Lavazza
69 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2006 : 04:04:08 AM
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David, so basically what you are saying is that a woman will ALWAYS be attracted to a man who know the woman's state of my mind and her reaction patterns better than she does. Yeah, I can buy that. Easier said than done to become that man, though.
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Lavazza
69 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2006 : 04:23:28 AM
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Meg, I am sure you are right, but I cannot help to wonder how so many women can call themselves feminists, given the passive role they want to play and the active role they want men to play. Many women have many bad things to say about male "chutzpah", as well.
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Lavazza
69 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2006 : 08:36:29 AM
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| Congratulations, Cosmic. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2006 : 09:46:26 AM
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| Meg what you say about women may be true in some cases. But I agree, with a lot of people here. (David you made me laugh). Women like to play games.... more so when they are younger. But after 35 something changes. Then you are looking for a man who will talk to you and share your life with you. You just give up on the games I think. They don't work... may work for a bit but not worth the effort. This is just my opinion. Also, I think women are attracted more, to men who are "cool"... don't look like they are desperate. That is a definite turn off -for me too.(That is something else I don't understand, when men are desperate, they will do anything to please you.. so why is this a turn off?) Now if they are hard to get, they are more interesting (I always love a mystery). Of course this is coming from someone who was married at 21 and been married for 16 years. I never really did date (its generally not done in India)...so maybe I am not the person to give advice here.. But these are thing I have observed with my friends in the US. |
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attracting a tantric lover?
