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Jivaakabhasana_Yogi
USA
49 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 21 2010 : 7:30:09 PM
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AAUUUMMM...
I wanted to share something extra special (to me):
Due to my neurological differences as such, I know I'd mentioned the great difficulty I'd had in social situations, etc...
Well, since I'm now of chemo, clear and ready to "engauge" the world again, I decided to go back to school, and I am taking and advanced (3000 hour) study in Massage Therapy.
The types of positive stressors that most folks like you actually "need" in order to function better in life, would almost always be my undoing...(think in the extreme), and I have pretty much been leading a cloistered life during and after since chemo, to avoid heavy duty social situations.
I've noticed a few things:
- 1) My ability to handle (percieved) negative stressors has (quite litterally) multiplied a thousand fold...OMG, If I can handle rush hour traffic on the Los Angeles 405 freeway, I am ready for the big time! LOL
- 2) There is this intense psychic "pressure" that I used to interpret negatively as "horrible, evil, and terrible stress," and such has now become my very best friend. My schooling is rather long on Saturdays, (9 hours), and having to do that, then drive home for an hour on Saturday nights, it is almost as if the vibration of the mantra is "calling me inwards."
For three weeks now, by the time I get home on Saturday nights (and other nights where I've had classes), it is as if my asan is calling to me, asking me to sit and practice. By the time I finish arranging my legs and sitting errect in Siddhasana the mantra has already "taken me."
I have not even volitionally (with my will)internally invoked the first ayam, and it has pulled me into Its vibration. Often when I "come out" I find a huge smile on my face, and that tears have been pouring out of my eyes for twenty minutes, with no memory of that, only ecstatic bliss, and the sound and vibration of the mantra.
I could never, not in my wildest dreams, have imagined such profound peace, such unbounded love, callling to me.
Antarjaamee purakh biDhaatay sarDhaa man kee pooray;
Naanak daas ihai sukh maagai mo ka-o kar santan kee Dhooray
You are the Knower of all my thoughts, the Maker of my Destiny, the Fulfiller of all my innermost desires;
Your Slave Nanak asks for Your blessings, Make me the dust of the feet of the holy sanghat,Enflame my heart with the Love of the Lord.
With Love,
Jivaakabhasana
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Edited by - Jivaakabhasana_Yogi on Mar 21 2010 7:31:48 PM |
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Mid-Term Report Card... LOL
