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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 19 2010 : 6:19:41 PM
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I'm sitting in the theatre watching a show tonight and all I can notice is that thought is simply movement through this brain, and the top of the brain is like a doorway back to myself who is this completely independent observer who for some reason somewhat inhabits this body at this time.
The crown is like a portal back to mySelf who I as a simple bloke would never have expected.
And I hate it because I feel like a liar and a fraud to my partner with whom I share a lot mentally, emotionally, musically, sexually.. but this is another dimension, you know?
Fear fear fear... abort mission!
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2010 : 7:46:18 PM
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| Do your best to be a person of integrity and let it flow, sounds like you just need to get used to changes in conciousness. Maybe a little self pacing is in order. Have you been using any psychedelic drugs or cannabis? Sounds possible to me. Not judging bad or good but curious. |
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Andrew
Russia
4 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2010 : 11:27:10 PM
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In answer to the title of the post yes I have at times felt like I was going mad. You are not alone with that one.
Although I'm not suggesting you are busy tripping, times I was mentally imbalanced were druggy periods in my life. I lost a lot of friends and had unstable (formal) education and employment. Meditation opened the door to wellbeing with personal relationships and my career development.
You can do spiritual practices and be social and successful. People who are materialistic may think you have it all but you will see it differently. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2010 : 03:47:52 AM
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who isn't mad , really! just take it easy, things will settle down and you'll get used to it all.
all in moderation and Self pace on the inquiry, do your daily meditation and let go throughout the rest of the day... the inquiry will become automatic in time and then it would be like a fresh breath of air.
namaste |
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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2010 : 05:25:07 AM
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Thanks for the replies.
Yeah there has been some substance abuse in my life, especially mid-late last year.
Mantra really zones me out, I am practicing some QiGong to ground.
Its strange because I get worried about where I'm going with all this and I become so self-absorbed and protective that I close off from those around me. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2010 : 07:18:39 AM
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I quite like that feeling because it's probably the right feeling only perhaps for the wrong reason.
The madness is in creating all this in the first place and then believing it to be real. So as perception is projection it's the first steps to realising the truth. |
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Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2010 : 3:16:00 PM
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@Jack
as Ananada says, who not ^^ went mad yesterday. Was like a mixer of death whirling inside the body. Thoughts, feelings, physical sensations in extreme uproar. After some hours of doing nothing, everything calmed down to a peaceful smoothness. Yeah, just started with DM again some days ago and baaaam =P Would say, once there were high imbalances, DM works too fast too deep even with some little minutes. It is really a pitty that DM induced silence always becomes a death end so fast :(
Now I'am back to spinal breathing + doing nothing till everything smooths out. As Victor said, some self pacing would do good for you. |
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Jivaakabhasana_Yogi
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - Feb 21 2010 : 10:09:04 AM
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Ad Gure' Nameh
Jugad Gure' Nameh
Sad Gure' Nameh
Sri Gur' Deve' Nameh...
Going Mad? Me?
What day of the week is it? Who is the President of the United States? ROFLMAO...
But seriously,
It is an interesting question...
In my childhood through late adolescence I experienced all of the internal (and some external) "yogic phenomenon." What trips me out is that I have had people (a lot) say to me: "wow, you are SO lucky, I wish I could have that!" , and I'm thinking "are they out of there minds?"
Of course it took me many years before I understood what was happening, and when I stopped fighting it, its quality changed quite a bit.
My pschye/emotional life had been a bit of a roller coaster for many years, and my previously haphazard "methodology" (if I can even loosely refer to it in that fashion) of meditation practices caused me much emotional and psychic pain and unrest...
Then there was substance abuse, alcohol, marijuanna, cocain, herion, uppers, downers, you name it...out of control sexual appetite and addictive behavior...
So I spent much of my life thinking I was crazy...
AYP methodology has assisted me in creating an energetic/emotional/physical stability, that I (quite literally) had never known before in this lifetime...and further it assists me in stabilizing the Embodied Witness as never before.
Now, especially during, and often outside of formal practice, I go through my "insanities" and emotional/psychological roller coasters, yet the quality is such that I actually welcome its presence as it is a sign of further purification.
I think what our friend and brother Yogani says about the Witness, and building castles in the sky is a very (very) important point...
I had a very powerful awakening to the Embodied Witness some time ago, and yet allowing this mind to attempt to cogitate and try to "grasp" it, caused me deep depression, low energy, "giving up", etc...when I dropped all of this (mental sh*t) then began systematically applying what Yogani is sharing, the Witness arose again, so powerfully (it never really "dissapeared" but was covered with my conceptualizations) and is now a completely effortless and absolutely true reality for me...the mind, emotions, the body, yep, even now they most definitely still feel "the madness" at times...probably will until this body drops to the dust! LOL
Regards,
Jivaakabhasana_Yogi |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Feb 21 2010 : 10:19:19 AM
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Hi Jivaakabhasana_Yogi
Thank you for your lovely sharing.
So good to hear that you are in greater peace/stability/joy because of your integrated AYP practices.
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Anyone ever feel like they're going mad?!
