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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 02 2010 : 04:03:17 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Rael
Hi Solo!
Reaching new enegetic levels,
Chi Kung every day,
light filling the third-eye,
going to meet Shamans...you are living MY life!....WOW!
I am busy trying everything i know to break out of depression, boredom and the "wrong" life situation.
I have had many of those elements in the past, but have fallen off the wagon a few too many times and let distraction get the best of me.
Want to trade??? 
I read this thing in a book which resonates with your "trying to break out of Boredom" etc. The words were quite profound for me and might help you. They advised giving in and acceptance, the acceptance is to stop fighting those feelings and realise that you are beaten and powerless.
A few nights ago I woke from my sleep. I had the strong sensation of 'fear' in my stomach area. Instead of fighting it down I let it build and began to explore the sensation fully, really letting it take hold and surrrendering completely while viewing it impartially. I have read about others doing this and arrogantly wrote it off because of my training in NLP and TLT Techniques. This time I was able to trace things back to my childhood when I was about two years old and trying to get the attention and love of my Dad.
This acceptance of the way things are completely put out the fire and to this moment I have a calm that I have never known before.
I don't think I knew when I was surrendering and when I was fighting. They seem to be two sides to the same thing and the distinction is clouded by mind. The harder I tried to surrender the more I seems like I had been fighting.True surrender felt very frightening, almost like drowning/dying a powerful force. Having some level of inner silence helped me cope as without it I could not have let go fully.
That might help you I don't know. I discovered something in that moment, something that I had known on an intellectual level and read in many books (and felt I totally understood - that's arrogance ) that I had done this to myself, like I was a thief of my own life. |
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solo
USA
167 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2010 : 09:59:29 AM
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karl...I've read enough about surrender and acceptance to know that these are wise words. However, I also feel like I understand these concepts only at a superficial level. I've read them and they sound great, but until I experience it for myself, it is only book knowledge. Kind of like the difference between knowledge and wisdom.
I think everyone on this path eventually reaches a point of surrender, but until you do, you don't really understand what it means. |
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solo
USA
167 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2010 : 10:04:45 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Rael
Hi Solo!
Reaching new enegetic levels,
Chi Kung every day,
light filling the third-eye,
going to meet Shamans...you are living MY life!....WOW!
I am busy trying everything i know to break out of depression, boredom and the "wrong" life situation.
I have had many of those elements in the past, but have fallen off the wagon a few too many times and let distraction get the best of me.
Want to trade???
Rael...That group of Shamans I met were really cool. It was a very loving group. I could feel the energy in the room. And when the head shaman breathed on my heart chakra and on my crown, it's like his breath just went through me. It was a very neat experience.
On the flip side, we did a "shamanic journey" that I felt like I had to fake my way through. It didn't feel genuine, kind of like I was making up my experience. And I also don't worship the Earth or Animal spirits. So I felt a little bit out of place.
But putting aside differences in beliefs, I did enjoy my time with that group. They just gave me a really good vibe. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2010 : 06:34:30 AM
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hi Solo and all, all i can say is that i feel you brother Solo... i've been exactly where you're at more than once and still do some occasional visits... but i won't change using shuffles and digging at another hole now that i've made it here that wouldn't be wise and finding another teacher or teaching to go to is exactly what your ego wants.
i say stick to your practices you know inside that they will bring good results or take you to your second destination and when you find the opportunity of being with a saint than by all means take it and since you're in the states you have a great one with all the teachers you have around there (Adyashanti always comes to mind first ...) but you know it as well as i do in the end it all comes back to you these teachers might give us a push or a kick forward or sometimes enlighten us but in the end it always comes back to us to do the effort for being ripe enough which isn't too much if we compare ourselves with the suffering that other sadhakas or spiritual masters have been through "take Milarepa as an example."
speaking for myself i'll be 26 this month and i've already been literally through hell in my search and in my life and have screamed to God countless times in the dark of the night... enlightenment might take life times to achieve anyways no matter what and in depth of all the frustration one must continue and quoting the words of one very wise fortune cookie "Intelligence does what it can. Genius does what it must."
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....tune,cookie.
concerning AYP, i've found that people like us with powerful kundalini awakenings who come from the outside usually do have a tough ride (but definitely more gentle bcz of AYP) but for people who are starting with AYP it's a whole different thing.. for them it's steady, satisfying, joyful and meaningful and "magical in the way it's working" it's too good to be true honestly and i am seeing that in the people i am teaching or acting as a medium between them and AYP which is an honor in itself and brings tremendous joy... even though i am still struggling myself...
but enough about me and you, you know it and i know it "enlightenment has always been about everybody else "
namaste brother(f) |
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My yoga teacher told me to stop meditating
