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emc
2072 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 07 2010 : 11:13:42 AM
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To be what we already are...no matter what that is...
I can't do anything else but be where I am right now. It's a new approach here. I've been holding back for so long, under the name of self-pacing, reducing myself, making myself smaller, believing myself not ready yet.
I can not know if I'm ready yet or not (ready for what?) - I have no choice but to be what/where I already am. There's no reason why I would put a lid on and not be True to whatever milestone I have reached on the road so far.
When I allow myself to live Truth as I know it this very moment, there's a huge Joy, there's flow, there's a softness and a lightness. Much less effort needed. There's a YES inside, there are birds lifting off whispering Freedom with their wings.
Everytime I remember I recognize
Everytime I recognize I remember
Everytime I see I know
Everytime I know I see...
...I'm free to be
How can I not be what I already am?
I just have to dare to be so huge.
The mind says it's too big, far too big.
The sensation is calmness, a falling into a safe place.
The discrepancy between the attempts of the mind to convince me of danger and the shame involved in inappropriate claims and the direct experience of safety simultaneously is a new discovery here, undermining the powers of the mind.
Tiptoeing into some type of surrender...
fear exposed
as fear
just so, very clearly seeing that, when recognizing the fact that I
can't help already being what I'm afraid of.
This keeps coming back to me, and it touches from the depths of the heart. And I find I must surrender to that fact. There's no choice. I can't pretend it to be otherwise. And as I do - for short moments - as I acknowledge the present awareness...
...
...
...
resistance yields |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Feb 21 2010 : 10:12:53 AM
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So huge and yet smaller than nothing
A seed
A tree
A flower
An apple..... is an apple......is an apple......is an apple....
Sitting on the tree.....just sitting.....days and months...some even a year in a cellar
Is one day ripe
And the sweetness inside it is ready to taste itself
The sweetness is out of nothing and so is everything
Dark soil....lush rains.....bright light
Staying with itself as this sweetness..... all is revealed
And all is naturally surrendered
Thank you so much for your beautiful post and sharing emc 
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Feb 21 2010 : 6:40:05 PM
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Thanks emc
quote:
The discrepancy between the attempts of the mind to convince me of danger and the shame involved in inappropriate claims and the direct experience of safety simultaneously is a new discovery here, undermining the powers of the mind.
Dicrepancy monitoring is such a powerful help here also, it's a constant reality check on how our minds stretch away from where and who we are right now, which is the only reality, thanks for the reminder. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2010 : 03:44:51 AM
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Thanks Katrine and Louis! Grateful for your comments!
There has been no overload here since this new allowing and accepting way. Just a lot more smiling.  |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Apr 01 2010 : 4:05:15 PM
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I just have to report on the continuous smiling.
I wake up and have a mindy meditation. And I smile.
I see the grey sky, the cold rain, and I smile.
I stress off to work, driving the car and I anticipate another rather boring day at work. And I smile.
I go off in an involuntary, habitual aggressive, bitchy argument with a student - totally not being the great pedagog... and afterwards - I smile.
When I find myself lost in daydreaming, I also find myself smiling.
I take out the laundry at night, tired and just wanting to go to bed, and I smile.
I just walk the street from the parking place to my house - smiling.
There's absolutly nothing special going on. Just this smiling, whenever I become aware of myself in a situation.
Looking at myself in the mirror - the face always starts smiling.
Spent a week in the French Alpes, skiing. A laughing retreat!!!  The blissbody was fulfilled... I discovered skiing is one of the few things this body-mind actually likes.
This smiling is going on behind the grumpy mind... a secret joy, hardly even felt or experienced, just expressed through smiling. Occasionally a bubbling joy or laughter accompanying the face. This journey is weird.
But if I in those moments of smiling, I become aware of that awareness... there's sparkles along the spine and crown melting. That's when joy actually steps in to take over. |
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To be what we already are...
