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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 31 2010 : 12:12:27 PM
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Last night, my heart opened up. It was the most cathartic experience of my life. After a spell of panic attacks 6 years ago, my heart was sealed off - and all this time I was afraid to let it beat strong on its own because of the association to panic.
I don't fully understand what happened back then, but sealing the heart must have helped somehow to stop the panic attacks. The energetic experience of pure fear and pure love are strikingly close to each other - and somehow they got lumped together and blocked out.
My first tears in six years poured out and quickly turned from pain to hysterical joy as I gave into the cleansing. Every cell in my body was surging with bio-electric energy, but this time I knew I would be OK, I knew it would pass, and I knew it was good energy.
I have no doubt that this incredibly powerful purge was made possible by the gentle twice daily washing of the AYP practices. Once things are opened up a little, it seems that the energy plus the bhakti develop a purification magic all their own in daily activity.
Bless your heart Yogani for sharing all this knowledge. It has just drastically changed my life for the better. 
Life and Love all |
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YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2010 : 12:42:27 PM
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Great post JDH, thanks. I am very happy for you.
quote:
The energetic experience of pure fear and pure love are strikingly close to each other
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2010 : 12:50:44 PM
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JDH, wow, that's really good!!
Be well on the path,
Yonatan |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2010 : 12:56:57 PM
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quote:
The energetic experience of pure fear and pure love are strikingly close to each other
Yes,the same opinion here.
quote:
My first tears in six years poured out and quickly turned from pain to hysterical joy as I gave into the cleansing. Every cell in my body was surging with bio-electric energy, but this time I knew I would be OK, I knew it would pass, and I knew it was good energy.
I have no doubt that this incredibly powerful purge was made possible by the gentle twice daily washing of the AYP practices. Once things are opened up a little, it seems that the energy plus the bhakti develop a purification magic all their own in daily activity.
Bless your heart Yogani for sharing all this knowledge. It has just drastically changed my life for the better.
Before starting ayp i always have felt a strong need for criying from my hearth (pain,blocks...)but it was absolutely impossible due to many years sealing my self off.
Wtih ayp daily tool over the long term i have been able to experience beutiful sessions of tears releasing lot of inner pain.I was criying with a smile in my face and really aware about the importance of that opportunity.It happens sometimes and its feels really gooooood after
ayp rules.
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lotusheart
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2010 : 5:50:32 PM
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How beautiful it was to read your post. May your beautiful open heart fill you with joy and peace.
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BellaMente
USA
147 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2010 : 4:53:07 PM
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Beautiful! What happened before the opening? Did you experience the panic along with the opening? How long did you experience it for?
I ask because I had a similar experience before this Christmas, although I don't know if it was literally a heart opening or if it was just purification- I didn't even make a connection to AYP until afterwards. What happened was- before I went back home, I prayed and prayed for protection from any lower energies there (after starting AYP I noticed that I would pick these up when I went back to Detroit). After a couple days of being there though, it was worse than I could have ever imagined- I started to have horrendous unfleeting thoughts consume my mind and wild emotions of depression, anger, fear, paranoia - these had gathered so much momentum that on the third day, when I went out to a cafe with my family and fiance', I was in so much emotional pain and mental turmoil that I broke down into tears (a rarity for me) and had to leave. Everything bad I had ever felt came back intensified- I felt trapped, suffocated, and I could not escape- every time I thought about how I used to live like this everyday- every time I thought about how I had to stay there for another week like this, having no money to go back home - every time I thought about how I prayed for protection and did not receive it- I started to break down. By the time I got back to the house I rushed upstairs and let loose- I immediately burst into irrationality, losing myself in a frenzy of tears and panic- I was shaking uncontrollably, I couldn't breathe- I was having multiple panic attacks over and over again- horrible images and unsettling thoughts were playing over and over in my mind, I could not stop thinking about all the suffering I have ever gone through - it was so bad that I even thought I was possessed- and then all of a sudden- out of nowhere- I felt something 'lift' off me and it stopped- everything stopped- I was breathing normally, there were no more tears, no more manic and painful thoughts, no more pain- I literally felt lighter and had energy purring and coarsing through my body. I was confused- really confused- I didn't know what just happened. I purposely brought up the same thoughts that were causing the tears and panic attacks- but nothing- no pain, no guilt, no feeling, nothing. I brought up thoughts of past suffering and pain- again, no pain, no guilt, no feeling, nothing. I brought up thoughts and images and feelings of some of the worst things that have happened to me- again, nothing. I was shocked- completely amazed. I started to run through my memories, forcing myself to recover the most traumatic, the most damaging and destructive experiences in my life- the things I tried for years to repress and remain hidden from my consciousness- I forced myself to think about them, to immerse myself in them, to feel the pain and disgust- and nothing- absolutely NOTHING!!! I was free! I was completely free! I never even knew that I had carried such strong repressed emotions and horrible guilt and pain with me- but wow- it was such a liberating feeling - I was full of love and gratitude- I felt like I had been given the greatest gift of all - the best gift I could ever receive for Christmas! I went downstairs with a sparkle in my eyes, full of love and joy and peace. I even spoke with my fiance's mother- who I had always had problems with and was incredibly angry at just an hour before (out of my paranoia that she was talking bad about me downstairs)- and I knew then that for the first time in my life I had unconditional love - something I never even understood before. It was love and acceptance of her the way she is- I didn't have the feelings of anger or the thoughts of how 'bad' of a person she is, I didn't have the grudges against her, nothing - It was AMAZING!
Afterwards I was scared that this freedom, this peace, this love, wouldn't last, but amazingly it has- I of course have fallen short and lost this awareness occasionally but I can see that the things in my life, both 'good' and 'bad', are helping me to integrate this state of being into my life and I am learning more and more everyday. And I am forever grateful for Yogani and all of the other AYPer's that have made such experiences possible!
By the way, after somebody has a heart opening, is it possible to have more? Or is there just one opening and that's it?
Blessings to all!
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2010 : 5:32:34 PM
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Hi Bella,
Thanks for sharing, a very wonderful experience.
LOVE |
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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2010 : 9:40:33 PM
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Thank you all :) I hope this was the first experience of an ongoing opening, and that my heart will feel free to connect to the world.
Hello BellaMente :) I believe our hearts continue to open. Like a flower, the first opening might be most noticeable difference. Then it continues to bloom until it's fully open. I view my experience last week as energy finally breaking through an area that was blocked up completely for a long time. This first breakthrough took with it a big obstruction, but there is much cleaning left :) Since last week I feel safer - like Einstein said, the most important question to ask could be "Is the universe a friendly place?" Well, for a long time I believed it wasn't. But if the heart is to be open, there must be trust.
Now, on to your Christmas.
The beginning part sounds like an exact description of a panic attack, to whatever degree they can be described - they are just about the worst thing a human can experience in my opinion. Now, while all panic attacks come to an end, none of mine ever ended like yours did.
I'm starting to think that it is all the same bio-electric energy that flows through us all the time. Whether it is intense fear, panic, pure love, or any of the full range of emotion, or even just being calm - it's all the same electrical impulses flowing through us in slightly different ways.
You had a very high energy experience brought about by revisiting an emotionally charged situation. The energy tried to flow through you the old way (negativity, panic) but since then you've had much purification happen - and in a moment of stillness, you let go of the negativity and you were left with just the pure energy. And the energy is good, and unconditional. That was the witness. I am glad for you and hope that the process continues. Practices are purifying and opening every day... occasionally manifesting in peak experiences in daily activity. Remember to stay on the road and keep practicing now that you've digested this experience. Who knows what more beauty awaits us?
Now to me. A little more on the other day. When my heart opened I was watching the movie "Seven Pounds" :) It is a good one. I was immersed in the movie, and the energy came to flow quite suddenly through my heart at the climax. The first few seconds were very panic-like in that a large energy flow came out of nowhere. Instinctively with panic disorder, one learns not to participate in these high energy flows, because it means a horrible thing is about to happen. But either I let this one go because I knew it was good energy, or maybe I didn't have the choice this time. Maybe my heart had a big enough opening in it that this one was getting through no matter what I did.
Anyway, the first minute was painful. My heart literally hurt, like I felt I was having a heart attack, like it was stuck. It was beating very strong. Then I gave in and trusted, and whatever was clogging it broke loose. Probably for about 5 to 10 minutes I let it flow like that. Often during high energy experiences I cannot move. But once I could move, I had a high energy after glow for about 10 more minutes of overflowing energy. There is no description for it. It is the "divine outpouring." I stood up to walk but fell over the first time. My nerves were saturated with energy, radiating energy, all the way down to my fingers and toes. I too get glimpses of the witness during these afterglows from high energy experiences, and this time was no different. My nervous system is not meant to channel this much energy for very long at this stage, and eventually I just wanted to be calm - so I went outside to walk, and that did it. But it is a beautiful foreshadowing of things to come, I hope.
Be well BellaMente. Many more openings for you :)
JDH |
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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2010 : 9:52:02 PM
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| One other note: I have been very, very tired since this opening. As I imagine anybody would be after so much energy going through them for a half hour. And accordingly, I've been sleeping a lot, and cut my practices to fit into 30 minutes total instead of the regular 45 to 50 for the last few days. I'm starting to see that high energy experiences are not bad, as long as I'm free to go with them, and free to rest afterward. :) |
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Pheel
China
318 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2010 : 2:56:56 PM
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| One of my friends has a closed heart. She's afraid of human contact in general, spiritual and bodily, from as she said when she's born. I tried to love her and knock open her heart but it didn't work. It's probably karma that has to be cleansed. I introduced AYP to her. Hope she will stick with it. Let's bless her together! Wish her an opened heart as yours! |
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wigswest
USA
115 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2010 : 3:48:39 PM
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JDH, yes, I've been extraordinarily tired after my major heart openings - sometimes to the point of feeling like I had a bad case of the flu, sometimes just needing lots of sleep for weeks afterwords.
I didn't know at the time what was happening to me...glad you're aware, and taking care of/learning to pace yourself :) |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4430 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2010 : 6:10:47 PM
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Hi Bellamente,
quote:
By the way, after somebody has a heart opening, is it possible to have more? Or is there just one opening and that's it?
As JDH says, the heart continues to open, like a flower.
Christi |
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omarkaya
Spain
146 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2011 : 11:55:25 AM
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| panic attacks sometimes can be asociated to negative mercury and preta dosha some spirits can produce such effect on people for strong cases yoga nidra is very effective and cobined with hayagriva kavacham and durga 32 names its an effective cure.reciting durga 32 name brings tremendous inner power and bost self confidence hayagriva kavacham brings lot of wisdom bliss and peace of mind. |
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