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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 16 2005 : 04:50:46 AM
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Hey, I could use some advice!
Today, I had a major point of ending. Something I've worked hard on for a long time finalized, and there was some very good news that will improve my situation going forward. But I've also taken on a responsibility going forward that has me a little anxious about the year to come. The days's not over, and already the good stuff and closure is almost forgotten as I move forward into the chapter to come. Ending has become beginning with nary a pause.
Which makes sense. Really, endings are an illusion. Every ending is a beginning. Nothing ever ends.
But while that sounds "spiritually correct", I think I'm misusing it. I'm just going from one grind to another, afraid to really examine what's going on with me in the samsara (the non-spiritual "real world"). Keeping my nose to the grindstone, etc. But I don't know any other way. I've been working so hard, work is all I know, aside from my yoga practice. I spend my time traversing from point a to point b with as much attention as possible - very yogic!! - but, shoot, at a couple of major ventures in life one must pause, no? I don't pause well.
How do you guys handle endings? Is there a way to mark it? To use it? To not just glide into the next grind? Aside from, like the cliche of sitting on a beach in Cozumel sipping a pina colada and grinning at having gotten through something tough?
Thanks, I'd really appreciate thoughts. I've had moments like this before and blown them. I want to be more normal. This time I'd like to get it right and not just hurtle myself to the next task. |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Dec 16 2005 04:58:55 AM |
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Dec 16 2005 : 09:53:01 AM
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>> Aside from, like the cliche of sitting on a beach in Cozumel sipping a pina colada and grinning at having gotten through something tough?
Nothing wrong with cliche in its place (though you are an artist, so a cliche is the devil --- but, can you dance with the devil at the right time? ).
Maybe sipping pina colada on a beach in Cozumel just doesn't speak to you -- maybe it's just not your type of vacation -- it isn't mine either. But what about taking a vacation, but whatever kind of vacation speaks to you? A trek in Mongolia? A retreat in a monastery? Or something you have always wanted but suppressed in yourself -- a Sherlock Holmes impersonators convention?
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yogani
USA
5201 Posts |
Posted - Dec 16 2005 : 10:14:51 AM
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Hi Jim:
Enjoy the scenery, but then easily go back to the practice. You are right -- it never ends. Stillness in action goes on forever.
The minute we stop on the outside the gears will grind on the inside. I once had a similar watershed career event like you mentioned. I stopped to reflect for a few weeks and got sick. It was only when I moved on into the next phase that I felt better. The next phase of work is the break.
On the other hand, taking a break in an active way can be good too -- a change in scenery before the change in scenery. But somehow that works better when we are going back to the same job, not a new one. Too much anticipation, you know. As for a meditative retreat, same deal -- too much anticipation. Maybe better to just move on into it. Breaks work best when there is sameness on both ends -- then we are renewing something that was getting old. Nothing to renew in your case. The change is the renewal, yes?
I go through this with every new book out these days. It is like, "Oh, that's done, now for a break." But it doesn't feel right to pause for long -- I mean, one day's pause is almost too much. What feels right is the work, as long as there are practices and a balanced routine.
We are stillness longing to be in action. Action is what we do best. We are the rider in the ever-moving chariot of life. What physicists are now calling "the ghost in the machine." Even they know ... we are That.
The guru is in you.
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Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - Dec 16 2005 : 10:44:07 AM
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Dear Jim - Congratulations on your accomplishment. You've been referring to it for quite a while, so I'm sure it's huge. When I've achieved something big, or when I'm trying to break through some block, I do something that's physically very challenging, which always turns out to be very humbling in the end, and not especially fun, but it doesn't sound like that's what you necessarily want anyway. Something like climbing a mountain, or a week-long hike - anything that will get your adrenaline pumping and force you to think about survival a bit. The great thing about being in a spectacular natural setting is that you immediately forget yourself, your accomplishment, the beginning of it, and the ending.
Hope it's good for you.
m |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Dec 16 2005 : 11:22:52 AM
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Hi Jim,
Two things come to mind from your post. One, how do you deal with endings? You accept them and in your own words let them go.
It's the doing that we are meant to enjoy, the fruit and the rewards or the thorns and the emotional upheavals we let go. I have lived a life that revolved around my performance, if I performed well and accomplished, I was happy, I was good, conversely if I failed (in my mind) or performed poorly or didn't accomplish (something) I was unhappy; an emotional roller-coaster.
After recently reading the Bhagavad Gita, I have been experimenting with enjoying the pleasure that comes from doing and letting go of the outcome, it seems to take the edges off. I try not to go on an emotional high from an accomplishment or something coming into fruition and I am finding it much easier to not take the "emotional low" when something doesn't go the way I want, I just accept (or try to).
Even rest is doing something, you are resting! I see beginnings and endings as just change around you, you are the same in the middle of it all. |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Dec 16 2005 : 1:27:34 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by yogani
I once had a similar watershed career event like you mentioned. I stopped to reflect for a few weeks and got sick.
LOL!!!!!
quote:
It was only when I moved on into the next phase that I felt better. The next phase of work is the break.
true. whether you go to Cancun or simply shift to new work doesn't necessarily matter. We humans buckle under unvarying stimulus (that's biology, not yoga!), so it's the change that does the healing, regardless of how nominally "pleasant" that change might be deemed.
But could you check email ten minutes after your daughter got married? Could you keep a tennis appointment after the funeral of a loved one? There are emotional points when one must pause and reflect, no? Aren't there times in our lives as human beings in the samsara when the karma yogic "immerse in the action of the moment" credo ought to be applied to immersing in recognition of a transition point (or, I should say, a transition point more emotionally dramatic than every other transition point...and everything is, of course, a transition point)?
While we are obviously similarly built in our approaches to this sort of thing, with all due respect, I must confess I'm not sure whether that means I'm on the right yogic track with my handling of these endings/transitions...or if you just happen to share my neurosis! ;)
Some excellent things to bear in mind there, thanks very much! And thanks to all. I'm reading and absorbing. |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Dec 16 2005 1:30:33 PM |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Dec 16 2005 : 1:40:46 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Anthem11
Hi Jim,
Two things come to mind from your post. One, how do you deal with endings? You accept them and in your own words let them go.
It's the doing that we are meant to enjoy, the fruit and the rewards or the thorns and the emotional upheavals we let go.
For sure. When I heard the best piece of (very) dramatic good news, I had the presence of mind to do an interesting experiment. I closed eyes, returned to "I Am" for a moment, and compared. At that moment, I'd have gladly thrown the good news down a trash chute. It SO couldn't compare with the satisfaction of yoga. It was an artificially flavored generic lollipop compared to I Am. And I looked at the trees outside my window. They had not just received good news, but they didn't appear lacking.
So....I'm not looking to go all Denny Crain and puff a stogey and feel pleased with my accomplishment. But I've been working to the point of exhaustion under really execrable conditions for quite a while (doing yoga and posting here have been major escapes), and I don't want to crow or bask. I just want to give pause. I've never known how to give pause. Though Yogani is right: pause is an illusion.
So maybe David's was the wisest advice of all. Just freaking go to cozumel, do the pina colada, let it not be all one would imagine (fine!) and come back. |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2006 : 9:28:45 PM
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Well, here I am at a luxe spa out in the desert for a couple of days. I've floated in the purifying spring waters. I've showered with the handmade soap and dried myself with soft towels. I've felt completely awkward passing clusters of well-heeled smiley, touchy-feely, unwarm new age middle aged people and clutches of lithe, haughty, utterly unapproachable rich girls. I feel as anachronistic as a cowboy dropped into a Wodehouse novel.
People are walking around in bathrobes, and i just can't bring myself to. I accidentally walked in on someone having a healing massage a minute ago, and the masseuse's mouth curled in contempt. I'm using the wrong towels. I'm not sure it's ok to be typing on a computer out here, ruining the mood lighting with the glare of my laptop screen. I don't know what to say to any of these people...nobody showed me the script. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. Can someone dispatch a MediVac helicopter to get me out of here? i've been here almost five hours now.
This shows what happens when you spurn Yogani's advice. |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Jan 04 2006 9:39:06 PM |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2006 : 10:41:50 PM
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| I love it Jim! Sounds like a blast. Wish I could be there with you. We could have some fun stirring stuff up ;) |
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Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2006 : 11:50:24 PM
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Happy new year, Jim. :) Everything is perfect as is. Drink some water.
meg |
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Alvin Chan
Hong Kong
407 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2006 : 10:16:50 AM
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Hi all,
Sorry for bringing up a stupid question: what are you guys talking about? What do you mean by an "Ending"? Ending of what?
Alvin |
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2006 : 10:58:29 AM
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Alvin,
you have to go all the way to the top, a few weeks ago, for an answer in the first few lines of the post.
(Jim has not been specific about what this Ending is though -- presumably for privacy reasons --- as they put in touchie-feelie camp, "he did not wish to share that"  )
Cheers,
-D |
Edited by - david_obsidian on Jan 05 2006 11:01:28 AM |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2006 : 5:05:08 PM
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It's just not important. There are lots of places to go to chat about the specific happenstances of our lives. There aren't too many places to discuss the more universal view.
That said, my desert spa plea for help was pretty specific.....but I don't intend to do that a lot. :) |
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love
USA
34 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2006 : 5:17:57 PM
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| What about starting a resort for people like us in Brazil on the beach. We can do some kite skiing, talk, meditate, eat fresh healthy food and enjoy each other’s company. This could be a good business for somebody. |
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Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2006 : 12:11:46 PM
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| Rereading Meg's posting, I think she was right. |
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mystiq
India
62 Posts |
Posted - Jan 19 2006 : 04:38:44 AM
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Hello friends I do envy Jim on his achievieng an ending. Endings rarely happen for me its always in the present continous tense.I mean no real achievement endings. maybe it will end with the final ending lol. Who knows? Like AYP when u r familiar with a practice the next comes along lol.Like Yogani says one cant really be without doing something.Its an illusion to think that it is we who r doing everything, whereas it is the force which is doing and we r just instruments. An easy way to test this is to get up in the morning and tell urself that today I will not do anything. Then we will see that it is impossible and that we r moved by nature to do things. when we apply attention to that we learn the skill of being in complete rest when involved in intense action.
mystiq |
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Endings
