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kami
USA
920 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 28 2009 : 2:30:15 PM
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Dear all,
Due to a super busy schedule (and perhaps dwindling bhakti), I have not been doing my practices for the last week or so - consequently feel more stressed out and watch myself react in surprisingly stupid ways! Should I start back at twice daily practices of the "full plate" I was doing (SBP, SBB, Jalandhara, DM, samyama, yoni mudra kumbhaka) or start slow and build up again?? Please inspire me 
On another note, I was attending classes several days a week discussing the Gita and other texts at an organization for the last year or so(before being introduced to AYP). Some months ago, not satisfied with "textbook" learning and yearning for a deep personal experience, I started looking elsewhere for meditation techniques while continuing with the classes. In complete innocence, I mentioned this to the teacher of the classes, whom I had the highest regard for. To my surprise, the teacher began talking about me in all the classes (in generic terms: "Some of you are going elsewhere to gain this knowledge", etc, etc) and quoted Ramakrishna quite a bit(about digging too many shallow wells, etc). Around the same time, my work and home schedule tripled and I could not attend all the weekly classes, and explained my scheduling issues to the teacher. Within a few weeks, I was cut off from the group, and the teacher who had always proclaimed their affection for me, will not even talk to me! In my defense, I never undervalued the message of these great texts - in fact, they mean more to me now, having had some revealing experiences with yogic practices learned here and elsewhere..
Although I try to take it in stride, I'm very, very saddened by the actions of the teacher, for whom it is either their way or no way. I'm unable to shake it off, and can see why it is bothering me so much - the loss of a support system I thought I had.. several close students of the teacher have also changed their behavior towards me!
Thanks for listening.. please feel free to throw in your words of wisdom - I appreciate all the advise..
kami |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4430 Posts |
Posted - Sep 28 2009 : 3:16:26 PM
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Hi Kami,
Sorry to hear about your experiences with this group. This is known in the trade as spiritual fundamentalism, and unfortunately it is all too common. Many teachers are not only interetsed in the liberation of humanity, they are also looking for believers... people who believe what they believe. If someone doesn't fit the model, or asks too many questions, or goes to see another teacher (any other teacher), this can be enough to warrent banishment from the group. As I'm sure you know, this kind of thing can be found in every spiritual tradition if you look around for it, not only in Yoga. Attachment to fixed views is often at the heart of spiritual fundamentalism.
The good news is that at least you have seen the darker side of this early on, before getting more involved. I have known people who have given all their belongins and money to groups like this, only to realize later when they began to question some of the belief structures involved, what was really going on.
Wishing you all the best.
Christi |
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Sep 28 2009 : 3:41:12 PM
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Hi kami,
If you've been stable in your full plate routine for a while (several weeks/months), you should probably be able to pick it up where you left off. You might want to be extra vigilant about overload symptoms for the first week or two. Personally, I've never had any problems doing this in the past when my practice has lapsed.
Sorry about your experience with the group. This is unfortunate. I don't have any advice but hope you will see that it isn't personal. AYP is a good compliment to reading the scriptures. You'll come to your own personal understanding that will be deeper than what you may get from the class.
Wish you the best 
Love
cosmic |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - Sep 29 2009 : 9:39:17 PM
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if a teacher/guru is what you need, may you find one with limitless compassion.
brother Neil
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 12:04:46 PM
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| Thank you Christi, Cosmic and Brother Neil. I'm comforted by your kind words. Perhaps I will finally see the guru in myself, as Yogani says! |
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Of organizations, bhakti and sadness
