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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 2:15:33 PM
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Hi all,
I'm still facing an upsetting situation:
whenever I feel "high", with flowing energy and open heart,
and I go out, I often catch people's attention..
This is not a problem in itself..
But when it comes to men who start looking at me with suggestive
gazing or words, whereas I do or think NOTHING to encourage that,
this upset me and there is anger building up.
Not the kind of healthy behavior, not men that see beauty.
These are lustful beahvior and vibes and this upsets me to the point that I really wonder what am I still doing or encouraging to attract this type of unhealthy vibes???
And last but not least, how to drop the fear and defensive attitude towards those people and include them in my heart..?
I'm still unable to do that. I just face anger each time.
Anger against their lust..
I'm conscious of my attractive look.. not in term of physical beauty, but more in terms of vulnerability, sensitivity and sensuality.
But how to concile the natural desire to let the energy flow freely and move naturally, and the wisdom to remain untouched by outer negative stimulation?
thanks for any suggestion. |
Edited by - AYPforum on Aug 20 2009 2:44:10 PM |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 2:31:14 PM
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Hi Christiane
I don't know if this will help, but I will share with you what my intuition is.....
First, you can't stop anyone from doing, thinking or saying anything. Free Will exists, like it or not.
Second, I doubt you are doing anything to provoke this intentionally so I don't think it is healthy to beat yourself up over this. It is not your fault.
Third, I think it may help to try to find a perspective where you can see this as not being personal. It isn't YOU they are lusting for....essentially it is the Divine shining THROUGH you that they are lusting after.
I wonder what Amma would say?
Hope this smooths out soon
Love,
Carson |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Aug 20 2009 2:31:55 PM |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 2:44:10 PM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 3:25:39 PM
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Hi christiane,
Did you try to let the lustful energy in? give it space? the energy wants to be "loved" and acknowledged.. The more you fight it the more trouble it will give you.. Maybe try to be equanimous about the lust and also the anger that comes up.. whatever comes up, it wants space and to be loved and accepted, otherwise it won't come up again and again.
All the Best!! |
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 6:38:33 PM
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Hi christiane,
I've never had this problem so my comments may not be helpful. I agree with Carson that it isn't personal. There is something the men are missing/looking for in themselves, and they are just projecting that onto you. Any man that looks at you with lust, I can almost guarantee will look at most women the same way. You are just a convenient object for their unfulfilled desire. Speaking myself as a man who has been guilty of this in the past.
quote:
Originally posted by christiane
And last but not least, how to drop the fear and defensive attitude towards those people and include them in my heart..?
I'm still unable to do that. I just face anger each time.
Maybe this is what the experience is trying to teach you? Have you tried inquiry on this? This may not be the answer, but you can never go wrong trying to respond with compassion. Wish I had a better insight on this.
Hope you find a solution soon 
Peace
cosmic |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 10:58:00 PM
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It doesn't matter what the men are doing; what matters is what you are feeling.
You need to completely experience this feeling of anger and don't resist it at all. You probably are bringing up some anger you have previously stored. It can be brought up by meditation or stretching exercises.
Give all your attention to the anger, see where it goes in your body and how it feels, looks, smells, sounds etc. Don't worry about what caused it, that doesn't matter. Give it all your attention, and it may start to move - that's good. It will often go away after that. If not, every time it happens give it all your attention.
Don't try to figure it out or make stories about why it is there. Just feel the pure feeling as long as you can. This will eventually get rid of it. |
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Akasha
421 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 12:21:59 AM
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I've experienced this, got a rough idea what you mean so i can relate.
My suggesstion for what it's worth and which is'nt necessarily easyto practice is to view everyone else, no matter how ugly they may appear to you, as divine.
What i mean is learn to see the divine in everything, no matter how ugly or repuslive they(or it) might seem. This is not necessarily easy practice emodied in the saying 'namaste' whoever it may be. Some one that say, for e.g, smokes and drinks heavily, which is quite common in the west coast of scotland where i live - it's difficult to see such a person as divine if the are up to their eyeballs in (spiritual) toxification and one is enitrely involved in the opposite direction, purification. But i suppose from this perspective given, you are like a mirror to their own soul or true nature.Like they perhaps then recognise that.
This is what crossed my mind and how i considered dealing with it a few years ago. and i think it kinda makes sense when you think about it.
Something to ponder or even consider applying. There is nothing much you can do about other people i suppose, other than say changing yourself, or your persepctives and/or reactions etc. |
Edited by - Akasha on Aug 21 2009 12:39:48 AM |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 12:48:46 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
I wonder what Amma would say?
Amma would probably open her arms and anyway she wouldn't face such
situations..
Her very presence prevents it.
So I guess it's a matter of trying to embrace whatever energy is expressed from people and from myself as well..
I can understand that mentally, it's just that I'm still stuck in the same response: defensive attitude.This is what needs to be healed.
Thanks Carson for your insight.
Love
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 12:57:28 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Yonatan
Maybe try to be equanimous about the lust and also the anger that comes up.. whatever comes up, it wants space and to be loved and accepted, otherwise it won't come up again and again.
Hi Yonatan,
Yes, yesterday before going to sleep, I sat in silence and allowed myself to let go of the negative emotions, tears...
I tried to look at whatever was coming out, trying to find the root cause..
Then I started to meditate but after repeating the mantra maybe 5-6 times, I just felt asleep and couldn't go on..
just fell heavily into deep sleep.
But this was the only way to heal this inner wound. To look at it as deeply as I can.
I'll repeat it today and will try to go deep inside.
Thanks Yonatan. |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 01:12:43 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by cosmic
Any man that looks at you with lust, I can almost guarantee will look at most women the same way.
Probably yes.. although it's clear to me that something in me attracts such energies. No matter what clothes I put on (!)
Yesterday, I even felt the urge to cover my head with a veil, like a muslim, to feel comfortable and protected.! But I guess it would be like avoiding to heal the problem.
quote:
Speaking myself as a man who has been guilty of this in the past.
no guilt!
quote:
Maybe this is what the experience is trying to teach you? Have you tried inquiry on this? This may not be the answer, but you can never go wrong trying to respond with compassion. Wish I had a better insight on this.
Yes, absolutely.. it seems to me that this is what I have to work on, coz it's a recurring experience and I still face the same difficulty to deal with it.
Whenever it happens, I feel like being abused, and I automatically
feel my solar plexus tight and closed.. when I notice that, I try to breathe from there and open up again.. but it's such an automatic and chronic reaction! Sometimes, I feel stomach ache and I feel the heart closed as a consequence.. and this makes the energy drop and I feel weak afterwards..
Thank you Cosmic for the wise advice. |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 01:18:12 AM
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Hi Etherfish,
I promise I will face the feeling directly, without judgement or stories..
and thanks a lot for making me realize that, in fact, I never really took the time to look at whatever is being experienced inside, and transform it into compassion.
The day it happens, I will let you know for sure! And it will be such a relief!
Thanks Ether. |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 01:26:47 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Akasha
My suggesstion for what it's worth and which is'nt necessarily easyto practice is to view everyone else, no matter how ugly they may appear to you, as divine.
Absolutely. but the thing is at the moment the man said something that triggered the defensive and negative emotions in me, I just felt unable to send love and see him as a divine expression of God, although I had the intention for once!
The weird thing is that when the same situation happened before, I wouldn't always feel upset! Rather I would say "ok..let him express whatever he likes.. I just do what I need to do and leave the place"..
But the recurrence of the situation bugs me, especially that yesterday, I was open and vulnerable.. I felt full of love and beauty, flowing.. then this hits me again, or let's say I allowed it to hit me again..
I know I AM responsible for being upset.. the other has nothing to do with it. Accepting this fact is in itself a good starting point at least!
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Christi
United Kingdom
4430 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 04:02:35 AM
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Hi Christiane,
Sorry to hear about your experiences with men. I don't think there is anything wrong with wearing a headscarf if it makes you feel more comfortable outside the house. Amma wears one, and in her village in India I have never seen another Indian woman wearing one, except on their wedding days.
One thing I wanted to mention is that the emotions you are describing are classic symptoms which occur during the opening of the manipura and heart chakras. The emotional vulnerablity is especially related to the manipura chakra. This means that you may well have to go through the same thing, as you continue to open, regardless of who is around you (male or female) or how they look at your body. Even if you went into solitude, you could well experience the same things coming up.
It is a very beautiful time when the manipura and anahata chakras are opening. It is an opening to being completely vulnerable and completely available to love. If you can, surrender as much as possible to the process as it unfolds. If it becomes too much, self pace as necessary.
Christi |
Edited by - Christi on Aug 21 2009 09:22:33 AM |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 04:44:32 AM
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Christiane:
((((((((hug)))))))))
It will pass.soon youll feel great again,im sure. Give it to your ishta.Use some self inquiry/samyama also during the day.You are a brave girl.
Men appear to be beasts,but we are really very vulnerable. Thats why we hide our sensitivity and cover it with a layer of brutality.
You need some protection against men in this physical world.Dont know where you can find it,but its inside you.Im sure.I have known girls that has something inside that provokes fear and respect in men.
You,like a woman,are more in conection with you inner godness.If you feel a man is disturbing you ,you have the right to look at him witha brave sight and say him what the f++k is he looking at.(after all hes raping you with his eyes!!!)...
But i think all this topic is very complicated.The only thing i can say to you is that i have known girls that manage this problem very well.Maybe you need to awake your inner sexual warrior.
To be a beast is easy,every one can do it.You dont need to study a career for that.It doesnt have any value.
To be a man.Its diferent.Most of actual men dont have the balls for being a MAN.A real man is full of sesitivity and shows it to the world mixed with a brave attitude.
Inner female energies are very very atractive for men.Its like a flower and we men like bees.
Try to feel this words coming from the heart and intuition.Feel it,dont think about it:
"Inner female energies are full of creativity,and always has something to teach to men.
Why dont you trust in you inner powerful female energies?
Women embraces the world with love.
Embrace the world with a maternal hug.These men are like little babys crying for a mother.They need so much love...See them with a mother eyes.Mother eyes destroys all the brutality in this world,cz everybody loves the mother."
Close your ayes,and feel this last words. Open your heart to this words,give the words and the feeling that creates in you to your inner silence.Cz this words come from my lotus heart to your hands.
hummm...just some ideas and insights...
_/\_
Namaste.
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Edited by - miguel on Aug 21 2009 05:43:32 AM |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 07:46:24 AM
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Beautiful post Miguel..
Thanks |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 08:11:23 AM
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Hi Christi!
Thank you so much for the useful information!!
Now I understand and yes I can confirm this anahata and manipura symptoms related to external situations..
Yes it's about vulnerability.. the same day (yesterday) I had 2 experiences like that with men!!
Both were of the same quality: both behaved in a way that felt abusive,
with suggestive looks and lust in their eyes.
And the exact feeling at that moment was: feeling betrayed..
I felt betrayed coz I was so loving and felt so beautiful and full of love energy that getting this "distorted" behavior in return was quite shocking and painful.. especially that I had no seductive intention.. (like I had years ago, before yoga)
Since yesterday, I took some time to inquire on what happened..
I found some answers but I still feel there is much to be found and cleared up inside..
I can see what's the basic problem that is common to every upsetting situation: each time, it's about believeing a thought and by believing the thought, I get attached to the situation and get identified with the game, instead of staying centered and behaving according to my TRUE feeling (not thinking).
I was simply NOT myself at that moment.
This is what came to me until now..
Still have to dig a little bit more! What a great opportunity to learn!! And today, this makes me feel better and yes, when the heart opens up it feels really good I will surrender like you said Christi.. it's such a pleasurable feeling to totally surrender and being vulnerable....
5 days ago, I had a major energetic event: I think I had my first
whole body orgasm... and it was surely the deepest feeling I ever had... it felt the same as a kundalini rush I had 3-4 times during my practices, but it was much more intense and it just blew up my mind.... my friend literally saw my skin turning red on my chest then face.. it was the first time I had a reddish color on my white skin!! usually I have quite a pale complexion..
So, since this huge opening, the heart is flowing so smoothly..
the eyes are just full of light and there is such a comfortable feeling of trust and absence of fear..
And bing! I had this slap on the face that reminded me to watch out and remain centered
Thanks Christi! _/\_ |
Edited by - christiane on Aug 21 2009 08:16:40 AM |
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christiane
Lebanon
319 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 08:29:56 AM
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Miguel.... what to say...
thank you is such a limited way to express my gratitude.
Your post just made me laugh and cry at the same time
you're just beautiful in the way you express yourself..
you're such a heart.. thank you.
You know what? I'm blessed to have met you guys on this forum..
really... it's very supportive to have beautiful and pure souls here..
I dropped all my old friends/family years ago (physically and mentally) and today, all I have is books, an intimate friend and partner on the path (but I'm now aware that our paths can split any moment, and I will accept it with gratitude).. and I have this website.. this place that reminds me that pure loving souls, especially men, still exist out there! 
By sending this post, I didn't intend to point out to men/women relationships as a problem..
It's rather an inquiry on how to deal with a difficult outer situation while remaining centered and loving.. how to remain vulnerable (coz it's such a beautiful state) and at the same time
dealing with any outer response that may come..
quote:
"Inner female energies are full of creativity,and always has something to teach to men.
Why dont you trust in you inner powerful female energies?
Women embraces the world with love.
Embrace the world with a maternal hug.These men are like little babys crying for a mother.They need so much love...See them with a mother eyes.Mother eyes destroys all the brutality in this world,cz everybody loves the mother."
Close your ayes,and feel this last words. Open your heart to this words,give the words and the feeling that creates in you to your inner silence.Cz this words come from my lotus heart to your hands.
nothing to say... just love you.. and thank you.. from my lotus heart to yours.
_/\_
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 09:35:59 AM
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Hope you will find an answer soon.
love.
_/\_
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getting upset
