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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 22 2009 : 6:47:23 PM
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Heya All,
I've had a couple of breakthroughs and experiences since starting with AYP, but now I've had a very subtle one, but also a cool one  Since about 5 years ago since I've had my first nervous breakdown (not a fun time) I've had thoughts and words- very nasty ones. It first began with "names". Like I would talk to a loved one and all of a sudden a foul name would come up in my mind, relating to who I'm talking to. I would then get into a whole lot of resistance within myself ("Why did I call him that? He's not that!!!??") Then it continued all of the day with a lot of people, even ones that I didn't even know.. Then after a time started something else, I would get scenes in my head, very intense scenes, of me doing things that normally I wouldn't even think of. (it didn't feel like me at all)
Lots of resistance.
So anyway, after a couple of years, thanks a lot to spiritual practices, and learning to live with these thoughts, these things are much less, and I'm much more able to enjoy life, and just let these things happen and go away just as they started.
But there is still resistance, although when it happens I don't think about it and make stories about it (thank god), there is still resistance to the "names" (which now are pointed towards me)..
So some time ago a little after meditation, before taking a shower I looked at myself in the mirror and these names started coming, and the thought came "they're WORDS, just freakin WORDS" and there was no negativity following them, and I just let them happen with 0 resistance.. What joy.. It's pretty funny, hehe
That's my (last) breathrough
Love and thanks for listening,
Thanks,
Yonatan |
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2009 : 6:34:12 PM
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Hey Yonatan
quote:
Originally posted by Yonatan
Since about 5 years ago since I've had my first nervous breakdown (not a fun time)
Don't worry, the second nervous breakdown is more fun than the first 
I can relate to this. You'll find that over time, the nasty thoughts and names will become less and less. But don't get discouraged if they pop up again when you think you're "cured" of them. For me, they come back every so often (just briefly).
I think it's important not to take ownership of thoughts when they arise. Sounds like you've realized this.
Good times. I wish you well.
Peace
cosmic |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2009 : 06:20:03 AM
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Thanks so much cosmic for your wonderful comment 
Much Love,
Yonatan |
Edited by - Yonatan on Jun 26 2009 07:12:02 AM |
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gumpi
United Kingdom
546 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2009 : 09:16:27 AM
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Hi there,
There are techniques in psychology that can help here too. One is to open yourself up to the voices by bringing them closer bit by bit (this technique is used for phobias) until the fear subsides. Another technique is dissociation. So in this case you will want to objectively examine these voices in a detached manner and then question them or try to put a positive spin on things. For example, if the negative thoughts are things like, "i am worthless" you catch that, so to speak, and affirm its opposite, "i am worth it" (sorry that was cliche - i couldn't think of a better opposite that alas is associated with women's beauty products!).
Deconditioning and dissociation.
Meditation is good here because you gradually learn just by practising to detach or witness your thoughts. this takes the emotional edge off them and they become more like academic knowledge with less effect. Then they can be ditched or ignored.
As far as voices go this could be any number of things. Maybe it signifies mental illness, maybe your awareness has been heightened somehow so you can "hear" psychically, or maybe you just feel a bit low and have negative self talk. In any case, meditation is the best remedy i think.
Just some thoughts i had. Ignore if not applicable. |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2009 : 12:06:02 PM
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Hi Gumpi!!
Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it..
I think it might be a low frequency entity that might be attached to my head.. (*might*), because from the same time I started having those thoughts, I started having a strong pressure on the left side of my head with "buzzing". It continued till today (except the buzzing, that stopped), sometimes it gets softer sometimes stronger (usually stronger when the thoughts are coming rapidly). I've had a CAT scan and eeg checkup, but nothing showed up.. I've just learned to live with it..
Maybe also an energy imbalance, or in Tolle-language the pain-body concentrated in one area (not sure if it could happen though).
Thanks
Love,
Yonatan
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gumpi
United Kingdom
546 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2009 : 1:29:17 PM
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Hi Yonatan,
If you have already been checked out by medical professionals and nothing is wrong i think your hypothesis of some kind of energy attachment is probably the correct one. What i would advise to you is to simply take control of your own mind and life. All you need to do is assert your independence, have no fear or anxiety, and strongly give your will power to your own reality, what you think it should be, and what it is. Nothing can harm you unless you let it.
Also, be positive in your thoughts. Gently tell your own mind that you are in control, you are happy, you are free, you are safe, and nothing will ever contradict that, not even death.
I had a brain scan myself some years ago and there was nothing wrong with me. But i can tell you that in my own mind it was chaos. All kinds of fears and negative stuff. Pain in the head too. But you see, the things we cannot see are too subtle to be detected unless we have the strength and will power to take control of the situation. And when we do this, nothing can affect us in reality. We are our own masters, slaves of nothing, death cannot even touch us anymore. We have the instinctive fear of death, this is true, but while we are alive we have the hope, love and courage to conquer.
If you feel troubled at all just pause a second, breathe in and out deeply then think it through. I think you will find by and by that the negativity in there will dissipate with time. Time is a healer as they say. Just don't give up hope, work at it, and you will be fine in no time. Most of the people on this website are here to help each other, and you can always find solace here if you are willing to open up and receive. You know, the internet may be a negative place overall, but sometimes you do find nice little niches where like minded souls can talk free from pessimism and censorship and hatred and ill opinions.
I think you are doing well and i wish that you will go from strength to strength from today onwards. |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2009 : 6:13:09 PM
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Gumpi,
Your comment strengthens me, This: "Nothing can harm you unless you let it" I think is very true, it is a big truth.. When you fear something you attract it to you. It's like you hold on to the fear, it's the grasping mind. When you let go it's like you open the hand that grasps at the fear, concept, or idea, very hard. It's great that there's something like meditation that helps your mind grasp a little less..
Much Love and Truth Gumpi,
Thanks
Yonatan |
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Names In My Head
