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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 08 2009 : 03:33:53 AM
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Hi all ,
This is happening every day (yesterday and today happened exctly the same).After doing my practices inmediatly when i wake up,and after my breakfast and some traslation of the main lessons,i go to the balcony and i smoke a cigarrete (after one month trying to gave it up i returned to my little consume of 4 cigarretes a day...).i look from the balcony,there is a big beach in fromt of my house,the sea,breeze o air,silence,the sun rising...wonderful....and then like yesterday,at the same hour of the day and situation,i feel my heart area wants to get open.And i feel if i want i can let it happen...lot of movement,vibration begin to happen there.Its like a BIG force of life.Its really ALIVE.i feel my hearth area wants to get OPEN.I feel the process of "relax" there,a huge relax and ease off.And i know if i allow it completly im gonna have a huge opening,tears will come here (a sea of tears due to a huge dissolution of pain accumulated there all my life ),and i fall in huge ecstasi.Then i have fear and i have to enter to my house and stop it.I know its a huge force inside,i have some flashes of what will happen.Its a big opening that will change my life.But i cant allow it...i feel ill lose control,and i dont want to fall in ecstasi before my parents eyes....imagine the situation....
After i went to my room and lie on the bed.Then i began to feel i was going to die,lots of fears related with death,loosing my identity...and specialy (and i have been experiencing this since i was a child hen lie on the bed,only sometimes) a huge weigh inside my body....i feel my arms weigh a lot,and my hearth area,belly area.It never happen in my head and legs.Is like a big weigh but not physical.Its like a weigh of etheric body or something like that.
I know a big opening is near,and im gonna enter there and great transformation will hapen.Im sure.If i hadnt stopped it,it would had happened.Im sure.When i try to give my fears to my ishta,the process gets bigger...and i stop also.
How can i manege this huge opening with safety and calm? I dont wnat an instant opening...its very scary....i want a slow process...
What is happening here in that moments is very REAL.A big force trying to enter.Its focused in heart area.
I have lot of fear in that moments related with loosing identity,a suddenly opening (and fear about the other people around me could see my change and the get scary or they think im going crazy)...lot of fears come in that moments (i can stop it if i want)....i have fear of falling in ecstasy before my parents ayes or when i am doing my job,before the costumers eyes....i feel i need my space,a lonely place for my for allowing this opening...
And i have fear of having a kundalini awakening....it must be a serious thing....and i prefer a smoothly opening. |
Edited by - miguel on Jun 08 2009 04:02:17 AM |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jun 08 2009 : 04:16:20 AM
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I find grounding activitites very,very,very helpful.It helps the opening gets smoothly,and during daily activities (grounding) i feel lot of flashes of joy and bliss. More than when im doing nothing.I think its the key.Action.
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jun 08 2009 : 07:13:30 AM
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Don't be afraid of that fear of death. Often it is just the ego dying and it wants you to think it is important. But even the ego doesn't die completely. It just gets much smaller and under control.
The most grounding thing I have found is have someone massage your lower legs and feet very slowly, and very hard. You want it just below the level of pain. It is incredibly grounding, more than any other activity I do. |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jun 08 2009 : 10:17:17 AM
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Yes,im trying to manage the fears,its not easy,fear of death is really strong sometimes.I think it will pass with time.
Today i did a long walk,and after had a meal. It make all easier.When i pay attention to other activities,all gets in balance.its great.
thanks ether. |
Edited by - miguel on Jun 08 2009 10:25:51 AM |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Jun 08 2009 : 11:35:11 AM
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Dear miguel,
Hope your opening will go well,
Believe that it will and trust that all will go well,
Let go.. (have faith)
Love,
Yonatan |
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miguel
Spain
1197 Posts |
Posted - Jun 08 2009 : 11:47:51 AM
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Thanks yonatan.Im sure i will go well also.i have faith in the inner silence.
all the best!
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Edited by - miguel on Jun 08 2009 11:59:36 AM |
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Managing the "boom"
