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riptiz
United Kingdom
741 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 23 2009 : 05:37:30 AM
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Hi Carson,
quote:
I don't usually worry about offending people or care about what people think of me.
I suggest you study the yamas and niyamas to be more complete in your sadhana. I don't mean this in a derogatory way but maybe you will make more sense of your thoughts.
Many have spoken about how subconsciously you may have wanted your wife to read the mentioned post but nobody has spoken of how she may have been attracted spiritually to read it.Perhaps this is a lesson for both of you that was meant to be.You wrote it and never expecting her to read it.She never reading your posts in the past and then being attracted to read it.Makes you wonder why doesn't it?
L&L
Dave |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2009 : 12:42:52 PM
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Namaste Kirtanman!
quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
Brother Carson!
We meet @ last!
A pleasure to formally "meet" you! I can tell that you are deeply rooted in Truth and I enjoy reading all you write.
quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
Dude (<- Californian for "Sri"  ) ...
Love it....Here in Canada we go all the way for "Duder" and don't stop at just Dude. But we Canadians do everything 110% or not at all so ...."Just Give 'Er!" Hahaha
quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
we have *so* much in common, background-wise & interest in various things-wise, it's not even funny, eh? (<- I'm fluent in Californian *&* Canadian  ).
Ooooh....Multi-lingual....aren't we fancy....
quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
More on that soon, I'm sure!
In the meantime, though -- I hope you and your wife are feeling better at the moment -- sometimes stuff has to "get a bit painful" in order to heal -- and true loving/true connecting *is* the balm that heals ... and the balm that minimizes and transmutes all pain -- and it sounds like you two have that loving in a rather awesome, yet very-real abundance.
Actually things haven't been better and I have to admit I'm pretty surprised at this. I had my third esoteric accupuncture treatment last night right before my Buddhist principles class and it was heavy. I spent most of the treatment outright balling. She (my accupuncturist, see her picture at the bottom of the page here: http://chirozone.ca/practitioners.htm) did a body scan and could see a blockage in my 2nd chakra likely pertaining to a relationship issue. I told her about what had happened here in this situation. She told me that this month and up until the end of May there is an astrological pattern of energy that is basically like a "Cosmic Detox" going on. (Neptune energy I think she said) People all over the place are having deep issues surface right now and are working through them successfully with the help of the Cosmic energy that is going on right now. (she learned of this from her guru who is a Shaman who specializes in "Soul Retrieval" and is very knowledgable about astrology) She says that we should take advantage of this time and work as hard as we can to resolve all the issues that are surfacing right now. So she said she wanted to kinda push it this session and not relax too much. You can read about my first two accupuncture sessions here: http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=5342 .... Anyways, she put some needles in the 2nd Chakra area on my back and I had some seriously violent reactions. Normally when she hits a sweet spot it hurts a little and then subsides, and the first 4 needles in the 2nd Chakra were like this, but the 5th/last one hurt SOOOOO bad it felt like my back was on fire, literally. This concerned the her a little and she took it out and moved it a bit into a spot that didn't hurt so bad going in but the pain from the last poke stayed for almost 10 minutes. This also sent me into another violent shaking fit (similar to the one described in my linked post). My legs went really tense and vibrated so hard they were bouncing off the table. My whole body was shaking but my legs were the worst. She told me to breath light into the second chakra but it took several minutes to get to a point where I was able to take more then a very shallow breath. After about 10 minutes the shaking subsided into a feeling of just tension in the 2nd chakra. The accupuncturist then told me that she wanted to press on and not sit this one out and relax, she asked if I was willing. Of course I was. She then led me through a meditation to release anger and frustration (I had told her in a previous session about my lifelong tendency towards anger). She told me to picture in my mind the first time I remembered getting angry. This was easy for me as this moment comes up regularly for me in inquiry. This was a time when I was 3 years old. She explained to me that usually between the ages of 1 and 3, this is when we fully buy into the seperation idea and that some of us can be very traumatized by this and this is often at the root of many anger issues (angry at being led to believe and perpetuate a lie). I don't remember the exact details of my situation other then where I was, who I was angry with, and the feeling of anger. She told me to focus on the feeling of anger for a second, and to FEEL that feeling of anger but not to dwell on it. I was already balling my eyes out at this point. I don't really know why, but it was happening. I was just kinda witnessing it and not partaking in the drama of it. Next she told me to move on to the next moment I could remember of being angry. This again was easy, I had thought about this time many many times in the past. She brought me through many of the main angry moments in my life and had me feel the anger and then move on to the next scene. After a little bit of this, we caught up to semi current times and we moved onto the second part. She had me visualize myself on a path that is covered with debris. I had tools like a shovel, a broom and a water hose with which I was to clear the debris to the LEFT(past) side of the path. The tears fell hard as I eventually cleaned my path and then laid down on it to merge with it. The release was incredible. I am still integrating it now. I was told to do this meditation once a day for a minimum of 7 days and a maximum of 21 and to do a specific herbal detox/cleanse. This was an hour and a half of great healing for myself. I then went to my Buddhist principles class in which we are studying the Four Noble Truths right now. The insight into suffering here was so synchronistic with what I am going through right now that I basically spent the entire class in a transcendent state. THEN I went home to my wife. Right now I am trying to finish a tattoo portfolio as I was recently offered a job in B.C. as a tattoo artist. This opportunity fell from the sky as I haven't spent much time drawing in the past few years and it is too hard to get into the industry so I never would have bothered to try. But this opportunity is there and so I am trying to sieze it. Anyways, so my wife and I are sitting at our table both of us working on drawing and we are talking about what she read on the forum. The awareness and the love was overflowing and incredibly intoxicating as well as healing. We ended up making love to the point where I thought I was going to explode. Literally. I have never had an orgasm like I did last night. It lasted a full 15 minutes and had me doing automatic bastrika pranayam and having full out spontaneous kriyas and asanas. Never had that before. Anyways, to make a long story short (hahahahaha, that's a funny joke eh?) I think we are healing well.
quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
You love each other.
You know you love each other.
You love each other even when stuff hurts.
All the rest is details; life happening; that's all.
Yes....and life has it's own agenda and I should just learn to get outta the way!!
quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
Real Love, as you know (I remember you talking about Greg Baer's book here at the forum) involves being Wrong, Being Seen ... and Being Loved.
Can't experience Real Love if you are being dishonest with yourself or others.
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Originally posted by Kirtanman
You're doing all three, in utter authenticity.
Well, it was kinda forced.....but it's authentic none the less .
quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
And I betcha just about anything: your wife sees this, and knows this, and loves you for it.
It certainly seems this way, and I am pleasantly surprised. In the past relationship I was in this would have triggered lasting catastrophic emotional trauma.
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Originally posted by Kirtanman
Sure, she read some stuff that triggered some ideas that she can loop in mind-emotions about ... we all have those, until we mostly-don't, anymore --- and she also read some stuff that, I'm guessing, from a woman's perspective, caused her to see how truly loved she is -- and how much of yourself you're willing to share, in order to overcome something you've been confused about -- in order to love her even more.
I really hope so. I read through what was written and I wish I had not said a lot of stuff, but I hope she read the deeper meaning behind the words. I think she got at least a little of it subconsciously if not consciously.
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Originally posted by Kirtanman
If she somehow missed this ..... tell her to read the thread again.
Haha....uh, maybe we'll just leave that alone for now
quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
All this surface-mind conflict "stuff" is the part of the iceberg that's above the surface ... the 9/10ths that's below the surface .... *that's* where you and she are one iceberg. And you both know it. This wouldn't be playing out like it is, if that wasn't true.
Agreed and I really like the analogy, thank you.
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Originally posted by Kirtanman
Just drop your ideas about *everything* - sexual attraction, hurting people, being "better" in the future (there is no future, and there is no "better" -- the ocean of IDEAS is the toughest obstacle we all face, *apparently* ..... which is why it's symbolized as the Red Sea in the story of Moses, and it's symbolized as the ocean between India and Lanka in the story of Rama, Sita & Hanuman.)
Moses is Bhakti/Love.
Hanuman is Bhakti/Love.
YOU are Bhakti/Love (whoever is reading these words; whoever is writing these words ).
Do you love enough to transcend ideas, and love reality as all you are?
Yes, it's a rhetorical question.
You know the answer -- know your self as the answer -- much more deeply than ideas of doubt or doubtful ideas can ever penetrate.
Keep loving with your whole heart and practicing AYP -- and you'll soon enough be living as simple, aware freedom beyond imagination.
Thank you Kirtanman....this is beautiful and you are very right.
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Originally posted by Kirtanman
You're *way* past the hardest part.
Maybe, but who knows for sure. I welcome the trauma now as I realize that as the Buddha says:
"The path to Happiness and a sense of well-being in this very life lies not in avoiding suffering but in using the conscious, embodied, direct experience of it as a vehicle to gain deep insight into the true nature of life and your own experience of it."
quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
Just keep going -- and don't think so freakin' much.
You got it Brother Kirtanman!
quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
As I said in another post some time back:
When in doubt, LOVE.
When not in doubt, LOVE.
... and if there's anyone I've ever seen who can pull *that* little trick off .... it'd be you, Brother Carson.
Thank you, that is very kind of you to say.
quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
And, everyone --- per my posts the last couple of days:
This isn't a game.
It isn't a debate.
This isn't a "try it and see".
AYP WORKS.
For REAL.
The way to (pick your term) Enlightenment, Salvation, Realization, Liberation, Nirvana, Buddhahood, Christ Consciousness, etc. etc. etc. ... which is the actual unborn infinite eternal nature of the unbound awareness reading these words .... the unbound awareness pointed to by every valid spiritual tradition in the entire history of the world, all over the world .... has been distilled, organized and simply presented by Yogani.
Actual Realization is available - to everyone reading this.
For FREE (you don't have to buy the books; though it's well worthwhile to do so --- everything you need for self-realization is available right here, on this web site, for free.)
ALL you have to do is keep practicing and not get mired in ideas.
If it takes you more than a small handful of years, it's *because* you got caught up in ideas.
You can't miss it; it's who you really *are*.
And, on the one hand ... yeah, I diverted into general pronouncement ... but on the other hand:
This one's for you, Brother Carson!
Thank you....you are preaching to the choir.
quote:
Originally posted by Kirtanman
You've already got it, man ----- love, practice, repeat.
That's ALL.
Thank you Kirtanman for taking the time to make such a beautiful post. You are loved like a brother.
Love,
Carson |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Apr 23 2009 12:47:17 PM |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2009 : 1:49:45 PM
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Hi Dave....
quote:
Originally posted by riptiz
quote:
I don't usually worry about offending people or care about what people think of me.
I suggest you study the yamas and niyamas to be more complete in your sadhana. I don't mean this in a derogatory way but maybe you will make more sense of your thoughts.
I wasn't meaning what I said in the way you took it I don't think....what I was meaning was that I don't take things personally anymore. I live my life according to the yamas and niyamas, I just don't worry if other people have a problem with me anymore. If they do it's usually cause they have a problem not me. I try to stay conscious of all my words and actions so I usually am pretty good at staying withing my "yogic bounds".
quote:
Originally posted by riptiz
Many have spoken about how subconsciously you may have wanted your wife to read the mentioned post but nobody has spoken of how she may have been attracted spiritually to read it.Perhaps this is a lesson for both of you that was meant to be.You wrote it and never expecting her to read it.She never reading your posts in the past and then being attracted to read it.Makes you wonder why doesn't it?
Yes, too synchonistic to be coincidence I agree. It is all part of the "Cosmic Detox" I talk about above I think. Have a wonderful day.
Love,
Carson |
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searcher
China
8 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2009 : 05:57:05 AM
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| Carson, this may be off topic but are you still taking any recreational drugs on a daily basis? I understand you used to have a drug problem and I am wondering if you are clean from all drugs and alcohol use now? |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2009 : 1:25:43 PM
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Hi searcher,
Yes I am clean from all drugs now. I occassionally have a beer or two with dinner or something and I will smoke a joint with friends while playing poker or being social or whatever, but I don't take any recreational drugs on a daily basis, nor even weekly basis. But I don't really have any aversions to many drugs either. I did mushrooms on Easter weekend while hiking on Vancouver Island as well, but this had been planned for a long time and was done with right intention.
Love,
Carson |
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searcher
China
8 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2009 : 11:46:51 PM
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Carson - thank you.
So why do you choose to supplement your spiritual pursuits with the continued use of alcohol, marijuana, and hallucinogens ?
My understanding is that the purification's that come with continued yogic practice draw us to healthier more natural lifestyles, diets and habits.
Carson, have you ever wondered why, despite your extensive yoga practice you are still attached to the use external intoxicants for short lived pleasure? |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2009 : 8:23:33 PM
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Hi searcher.....
quote:
Originally posted by searcher
So why do you choose to supplement your spiritual pursuits with the continued use of alcohol, marijuana, and hallucinogens ?
With alcohol and marijuana, I occasionally imbibe simply because I enjoy it in some situations. I don't find either substance in moderation to be detrimental to my path. (personally I don't see anything any different between alcohol/marijuana and refined sugar. They are all equally detrimental when not used in moderation and awareness). With hallucinogens, I use them occasionally because I find they help to facilitate great spiritual openings. Sometimes the situation arises and I just know that I am meant to. And I don't resist.
quote:
Originally posted by searcher
My understanding is that the purification's that come with continued yogic practice draw us to healthier more natural lifestyles, diets and habits.
That is my understanding as well. And it is also my experience. Please remember I was a full out heroin/methamphetamine/methadone/ketamine/marijuana addict coming to AYP. If not physically for some, then psychologically. Having the odd beer or joint nowadays seems extremely reasonable to me. Having come from where I came from. And I have the same attitude towards hallucinogens today that I always have had. But I don't partake of them very often now, and I used to trip at least a couple times every week, so even that would indicate what you are saying. And please remember that there is a monumental difference between "drugs" and "sacred plants".
quote:
Originally posted by searcher
Carson, have you ever wondered why, despite your extensive yoga practice you are still attached to the use external intoxicants for short lived pleasure?
I am not attached to the use of external intoxicants for short lived pleasure. I am not attached to ANY intoxicants. I could live peacefully without ever seeing another intoxicating substance again. But I also have no aversion to them. That doesn't seem like it is my path. It is for many others, but my path seems different then most, and that is ok. My milestones may be a little different, my ideals might not perfectly align with everyone elses, but I will meet you all at the same destination regardless.
Much Love,
Carson |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Apr 26 2009 8:26:54 PM |
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searcher
China
8 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2009 : 8:39:06 PM
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quote:
I could live peacefully without ever seeing another intoxicating substance again. But I also have no aversion to them.
Carson, if what you say is indeed true, then I urge you try an experiment. Totally abstain from all alcohol, marijuana, and hallucinogens ENTIRELY for 6 weeks, continue as usual with your AYP practices and compare how you feel during this period in terms of awareness and peacefulness.
The yogic scriptures teach us to be "masters of our senses" and not slaves to our senses. Acts of restraint help to confirm the balance of power within us.
Are you ready to give it a try?
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2009 : 9:00:19 PM
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Hi searcher....
I have actually already done this experiment and that is why I can say what I say with confidence. I find personally that my awareness suffers not with moderate use of any substance/food/drink. I spent almost a full two months without smoking any weed, drinking any alcohol, or taking any hallucinogens. And I found no difference when I went back to moderate usage on an irregular basis. I will often go several weeks without smoking, drinking or imbibing, but when presented with an opportunity to partake and the awareness doesn't object...how can "I"?
Love,
Carson |
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searcher
China
8 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2009 : 9:09:20 PM
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Carson - that's really interesting!
Perhaps to confirm we are on the same page let's define what we mean by "awareness"
You first :-) |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2009 : 9:27:44 PM
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I'm sure our definition of awareness is the same....And I don't really know how I would define it anyways.....But I am including in the definition, the energetic aspects of awareness as well, because I haven't noticed any effects energetically either. My path is not negatively affected in any perceptable way from the moderate, irregular use of substances.
Love,
Carson |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Apr 26 2009 9:32:17 PM |
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searcher
China
8 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2009 : 10:12:38 PM
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quote:
My path is not negatively affected in any perceptable way from the moderate, irregular use of substances.
Carson - I would respectfully disagree. Awareness is an innate potential, that in most cases requires stages of purification to refine and maximize.
External stimulants like alcohol, marijuana, alcohol, do not promote but rather counter purification.
I maintain my position that your practice can dramatically improve if you cut out these substances.
If you can do without them, why do you still hang on to them.
Why are you pursuing short term pleasure when you can attain joy?
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2009 : 10:56:13 PM
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I'm not pursuing anything, let alone short term pleasure. And I have lots of joy...seriously.
Love,
Carson |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2009 : 3:24:35 PM
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I'm very sorry to hear this, and you will find the right way of dealing with it in your own heart.
I am in no place to advise you. I will spend some time this evening to send you and your wife loving energy - I hope it may perhaps help, if even the tiniest bit.
Love,
Josh |
Edited by - mr_anderson on May 09 2009 3:29:17 PM |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2009 : 3:37:21 PM
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Thank you Josh....
My wife an d I have spent many hours sorting through the emotions that came up with this situation, and although there is still some sadness for my wife that comes when the topic comes up, we are working through it fairly nicely I think. She understands a lot more today then she did three weeks ago or whatever. I am actually thanking God for giving us the opportunity to work through this. Thank you for the loving energy, I'm sure it will help tremendously. Much Love.
Love,
Carson |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2009 : 7:00:28 PM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2011 : 11:24:36 AM
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The same thing happened today.
In my case with a self-observation journal I've had for a few months now.
Same theme, as well.
Any advice? |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2011 : 12:25:56 PM
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Hi Jack,
Well, this is an old(er) thread and things are a bit different here now for me and my wife. Many things have shifted and opened since I started this thread, not the least of which is my sexual attraction to her. I find her incredibly attractive and this has ceased to be an issue here... but, I think I still can offer some advice here... hopefully it will help somewhat.
What we (my wife and I) have discovered (and are still discovering) is that openness, honesty, and cultivating inner silence on a daily basis, is what has been of the most benefit to the flowering of our relationship. We both have a fairly decent grounding in inner silence now, and without that, I'm quite sure that we would not be together anymore. It is very easy for the mind to make stories out of situations like this and attach to them... these stories become the focal point for the mind, and all else falls by the wayside. These stories torment us day in and day out, and the mind can only take so much torment before we need to escape one way or the other. So for us, the key has been the continued daily cultivation of inner silence. With that as our base, we have allowed openness and honesty to come to the forefront of our relationship... even though the stuff we are honest with each other about can be incredibly hard to deal with and the ego/mind can (and still does) get hurt. But with that base of inner silence we are able to see that the hurt is created by ideas about how things "should" be, and we are able to let go of these ideas bit by bit, letting them dissolve, which increases the amount of love and trust we have for each other. We are at a point now that I don't think many relationships ever get to. We are honest and open with each other about everything. And when I say everything, I mean absolutely everything. Stuff that would have other marriages crumbling within seconds are now openly and honestly (and for the most part, without clenching or tension) discussed between us. It is seen that neither of us can control or steer Life. Life happens as it needs to and we are learning to relax into that. The difficult stuff comes to the surface when it needs to, as it needs to, and we greet this stuff with open arms and love in our hearts. We know that the difficult stuff coming to the surface gives us an opportunity to work through it together, which drastically strengthens our bond and the loving connection between us.
I don't know exactly where you are at with your partner right now so it is difficult for me to give any real specific advice. But I can offer this.... How you feel about her is now out in the open. You can not go back and change what has already happened. Now, you have the opportunity to focus on the present moment. If you go into your next discussion with your partner all tense and clenched, it is going to be very difficult IMO. It is going to be very important (again, IMO) that you go into the upcoming discussions over next days/weeks/months with an open, humble heart, and silence in your mind. If you go in freaking out, you are going to get, freaking out. She may still react by freaking out, being hurt, being angry etc, but if you go in with a loving, open heart and a silent mind, it is going to diffuse things a bit (I would wager). Resistance is met with resistance. When there is openness there is nothing to bounce resistance off of. A lot of how this plays out is going to be up to your partner. Luckily for me, I am blessed with an understanding and incredibly loving and dedicated wife. How I got so lucky I will never know. I certainly don't deserve her. Hopefully your partner has a daily DM practice... if she does, this is going to make things a lot easier. If she doesn't, a lot of how this plays out is going to depend on her personality. In that case, the best thing you can do is go into the upcoming discussions with a humble, open (and compassionate) heart and a silent mind. Tell her honestly how you feel. But be compassionate. It is not about "her." How you see her is the result of how you see yourself. This is one of the biggest lessons I have learned over the past few years of working through stuff with my wife. What I dislike in her, is what I dislike in me. This realization changes the entire playing field IME. I don't know exactly how you feel about your partner, so I don't know how the discussions will play out. But if you approach this with a silent mind and a compassionate heart, it is going to be a lot easier for both of you.
My heart goes out to both of you. This is not an easy path to travel. I wish you both the best.
Love!
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LucienneK
Canada
28 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2011 : 2:14:05 PM
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Hi Jack,
Not sure if it will be useful to you or not, but I thought you should hear things from the other perspective. In case your not aware, I am Carson's wife.
When this incident happened, it was very hard on me. I was already suffering from low self esteem and was very judgemental with myself. Then to hear from my own husband things that verified how I felt, really hit home. It was hard, still is in some ways.
After reading the post I had a few hours without him to really think about how I felt. During this time I found it very easy to allow the depressive thoughts to take over. To side with the negative feelings and let that potentially ruin my relationship.
I also saw the positive side of things. How by me reading his feelings made me more aware of them and by being aware of them I was able to help things. By this being brought out into the open we were both given the opportunity to choose to learn from it and have our relationship grow, or let it get the best of us and destroy what we had together.
I agree with Carson. It was because we both came at the discussions that followed with love for each other and open hearts, that we were able to work through the hurt and come out much stronger on the other side. We got out of the incident exactly what we put into it. Love.
Again, just as Carson said, you can't help how she feels and reacts. That's out of your control. All you can do is know where you stand, how you feel and allow yourself to be open to her thoughts and feelings. I know this is how Carson came at it with me and I'm sure it helped.
Again, I hope this helps you in some way. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask. :) |
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WoodDragon
USA
56 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 11:59:14 AM
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| Hello CarsonZi, I came very late to this party, and I am sorry this is so. Many interesting items came up here for which I do have experiences. That having been said, I am very happy to hear things between you and your Love are going better and the healing has begun. Remember Truth and Love ride the same cart. I also noticed your thread with searcher and I also have two cents on this as well, Purity of Intent is the most important of factors in my mind. Nothing in this reality cannot be said to not have a purpose. All things have a purpose so long as we exercise Purity of Intention. This with Divine Love and Truth bring us more than we could ever seek. |
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BuddhiHermit
United Kingdom
84 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 3:46:43 PM
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Hi Jack,
At some point, I think we gain a little wisdom, and begin to realise that there is more to life than just desire and passion. When that happens, our choices change, and we choose a partner for their beautiful soul, rather than a beautiful/sexy body.
The world teaches us that there is nothing higher than desire and passion - even calling it love.
After a while, we gain a glimpse of true love, and the appeal of passion is questioned. That's not to say we don't still like to get carried into the heights of passion. It's just that connecting in Love, becomes more satisfying.
Sometimes, it takes a while for this to make sense in our heads, and we create a pretty mess with our partners, trying to sort out what we are feeling, and then find the words to properly describe it.
Entering this process is opening a door to a deeper level of relating, provided both parties are prepared to enter it together.
It is such a shame that most men don't even realise that they are trying to tell their partners, "I love you for more than just your body, and I would like to indulge in Loving with you".
Instead of valuing what was gained, their intellect gets caught up on what appears to have been lost, and they end up saying things like "I don't find you as sexy as some other women ...". While I think this is very much a "Man" thing, Psychologists have shown that the intellect pays more attention to Loss and loss prevention, than to gain.
My wife tells me that she finds Errol Flynn ultra sexy, and I don't mind, because I believe we are together for far deeper reasons.. and when I point out an attactive actress, she tells me why I'm wrong.
In order to fully connect with a partner, Tantrically or just as a natural human, you find yourself progressing through stages - First Sex, then Love, and then Devotion. This is the way to Divine union.
Namaste |
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Terrible mishap.....
