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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 10:35:40 AM
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So....had a mishap last night. I went golfing (for the first time this season) after work and I didn't see my wife until after I got home from the round. When I got home I could tell that my wife was upset for some reason....she wasn't really acting angry or anything, I could just sense that something wasn't right, so I asked her what was wrong....She burst into tears. I knew she had just started her cycle so I kinda chalked this up to that right off the bat, but I was very wrong. She came over to me, (I was drawing at the time) tears welled in her eyes, chin quivering, and sat down next to me. I gave her a hug 'cause it was already tearing my heart out and I didn't even know that it was something that I had done that was causing her this pain yet. She said to me, "I read something I shouldn't have". My heart dropped. I instantly start thinking back to what I have written that could have hurt her so badly....there was a lot. She said I read the "Sexual Attraction" thread you started on the AYP forum. (linked here: http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=5236 ) I know that you aren't sexually attracted to me. My heart REALLY sank. I tried to lessen the blow that she was feeling, and I did as well as could be done, but there has to be some damage done by this. She said this was the first thread that she had ever read of mine, and in fact she had never even looked at the titles of any of the threads before today. (I leave the AYP active topics open on my home computer all day every day) She said that today this particular thread title had caught her eye and that she had read it start to finish. I haven't gone through yet to re-read this thread and see what all she read, but I feel absolutely terrible. I need this forum as a support network and all of the topics I start are started for the reason of my needing to overcome or understand something, but I never meant to hurt my wife with what I was writing. How do I go about rectifying such a terrible error when all the cards are on the table before I even sit down to play?
Love,
Carson |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 12:03:01 PM
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Mostly you just have to talk together, that's the way of it in a proper sustained long term relationship.
All I can tell you and that goes for both of you is that you go through lots of this stuff and worse. It's getting through these times that makes the bond even stronger.
It comes out eventually though, you can't hide things from each other, so it's better that your wife confronted you with it, she could just of buried the information away and filed it under 'hurtful things which might make me decide i am no longer loved'.
Better than talking to us about it, talk to her. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 12:13:01 PM
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Hi karl...
Yeah I know....We spent the entire night last night deep in conversation over this. I literally got only an hour or two of sleep cause we talked for that long about it. It ended with her saying that she understands why I wrote this thread, and that she understands that I love her and am attracted to her, but of course there will be emotional scarring from this. That is inevitable I;m sure. My question here to the forumites is how can I go about rectifying such a terribly unfortunate circumstance. I can't outright lie to her and tell her she is the most attractive woman I have been with or whatever, and I really shouldn't even force her to talk about it anymore I don't think. There are some things that just shouldn't be said in a relationship, and when these somethings are said in private, but overheard by the person being talked about, there is going to be extreme hurt involved. But I also need to be able to be honest here on the forum about issues I am having, and be able to look for advice without having to censor myself incase some who it may hurt reads it. I told my wife last night that this thread wasn't the only one that may hurt her feelings, and that if she feels the need to read a thread I have started that I would appreciate it if she would at least sit down to read it WITH me, so that I can at least explain a little bit about why I am writing what I am. This is a hard situation because she is so sensitive as it is, and I fear that this is only going to exasperate things.
Love,
Carson |
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YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 12:14:35 PM
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Yes, Carson, I agree with karl. Better to talk to her than to us really. To be honest the truth is that we can't really hide anything from others indefinitely (or even for a moment). I think the spiritual truth that 'we are all connected' is not just a fancy sentence.
I agree with karl, search your heart, be honest and relax. Allow her to do the same. Only in that space you can meet and you will come out with a stronger bond on the other side. All I can do from my side is truly wish you the best. Trust.
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 12:26:07 PM
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Hi YIL...yes I know....thank you....
Love,
Carson
P.S> We cross-posted.... |
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 12:41:32 PM
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Carson,
If I were you, I wouldn't say anything like this in a public forum:
quote:
I can't outright lie to her and tell her she is the most attractive woman I have been with or whatever, and I really shouldn't even force her to talk about it anymore I don't think.
I think with some rational thinking of course she can see that she isn't the hottest babe in the world. No woman is, except perhaps the one.
But more importantly, it's not good for you to go around confirming that fact to everyone. It's about embarrassment. If she went around saying to everyone, even total strangers, that you weren't the most attractive guy she knew, you'd feel bad too. But of course you should know that there are better looking guys than you out there.
There's just no need for either of you to be confirming the fact to total strangers.
So the point I'm trying to make is just to not say everything in a public forum. When I first read your other thread, I was kind of taken aback...wondering why someone would post that private info about their wife.
Just my POV. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 12:42:41 PM
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Hi emc....this is basically how I am seeing this today as well....This was a learning opportunity for both of us. A very hard one for her I assume. I want to be upfront and honest with her about everything, but how do you go about telling her what she found out in that thread to her face? I don't know if I could do that. Perhaps this is why God decided to let this happen, I don't know...but maybe this is going to turn out to make things so that honesty and upfrontness are required, not something to bring out only when it won't hurt the other. I really don't know. This is a hard one for me. It's hard to hurt another person even if it is in the spirit of having an honest and open relationship....know what I mean?
Love,
Carson
Why did you delete your post? |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Apr 21 2009 12:58:37 PM |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 12:48:12 PM
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Hi Carson
It struck me as very risky at the time you were writing that thread, that you would be so open in a public forum that your wife could read.
So when you then said that you leave the Active Topics open on your computer all day every day in your home, I occured to me quite strongly that maybe unconsciously you wanted her to read it.
If this is the case, what is it that you want to say - really?
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 12:51:23 PM
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Hi Scott...perhaps you are right...
But also, for me, this forum is a lifeline. I do not have any spiritual friends around me to talk to, my wife is not spiritual, my family is spiritual but in a completely different vein and they can not see my perspective on spiritual issues, so I am left with noone but myself to hash things out with. Unless I post about them here. I know you don't know me from a hole in the wall, but this has always been the type of person I am. The only thing I talk about with others are spiritual matters...that's all that I ever really have going through my mind. I don't think about life in any other way other then in terms of spirituality. Most of the time in life I am completely silent. And that is why the AYP forum has been so crucial to my developement. There are people here that I can bounce intimate issues off of, and get advice that I wouldn't normally be giving myself. And my internal advice is all I would be getting without this forum. I can't really talk to my wife about issues I have with her. They are my issues not hers, and I need to deal with them regardless of whether or not she knows about them. I have overcome a LOT of issues that she never even knew I had (nor did she need to know) by recieving helpful advice from other forumites. Sure there are probably things that even I wouldn't discuss with you all here on the forum, and I don't, but my wife has never expressed any interest in AYP or the forum and I never even thought that there was a possibility that she could read some of this stuff. It's like having a diary that strangers can read and comment on....that can be really helpful. Or it can be really hurtful if a close personal friend you have written about reads your diary. 6 of one half a dozen of the other...
Love,
Carson |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 12:57:43 PM
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Hi Sparkle.....
No, I really wasn't hoping that she would read any of what I had/have written. I leave the Active Topics open at home because she has never been interested in reading anything on the forum and I really honestly didn't think this would happen. I really thought that this could be like my personal diary. This is/was the first forum I had ever joined, so perhaps my etiquite is lacking and I have yet to learn what I should and should not be posting. Perhaps this is the lesson I am meant to learn here. It seems as though everyone thought I should not have been posting that thread as it was too personal, so obviously my wider perspective on that was extremely lacking. It's just that I am an honest guy, who doesn't usually pull many punches, and am pretty open about how I feel about just about everything. I don't usually worry about offending people or care about what people think of me. But in this case my foresight was obviously seriously lacking and I made a mistake. I will learn from this, I just hope I haven't done any irrepairable damage.
Love,
Carson |
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Balance
USA
967 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 1:59:23 PM
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| If the two of you enjoy each-others company and are commited to being together then the two of you will find a way to heal. If your wife is one who looks beneath the surface of life then she will find a way to understand the situation and deal with the hurt. Who can say what will evolve from this? If you both desire to be the object of each-other's adoration then relationship and romance will find a way for that to occur. Other people in similar situations might go in any number of directions in their relationships. None of us here know the energetic and emotional intricacies of yours. Sexual attraction itself can be overated and often becomes an object of ego. And energetic coupling can be more dynamic with others, but that is not all that is important with relations. If you wish to focus on her then you may want to show her the romance that comes from the silent worship of love always in your heart. Little showings of love shared can be very healing. As is the case with all of us in any situation the way will be shown. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 2:25:49 PM
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Thank you Balance....that was very helpful....Much love.
Love,
Carson |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 2:35:48 PM
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Hi Carson
I am sorry for the pain....for both of you....
quote:
How do I go about rectifying such a terrible error when all the cards are on the table before I even sit down to play?
What is done cannot be undone, Carson......However.....the consequences of this happening.....neither you nor she nor anyone else can foresee. Do not listen to your own talk about this. Commune with your wife...........this is more important than ever now....that your dialogue is open......also....ask her about herself....how she feels. And when she speaks...listen without inner dialogue and commenting.....be present to her.
In order for this to take place:
First....allow all your pain over this to surface.....it will have to be processed by awareness Carson. Don't talk about the pain.....just allow it through...all the way. This way.....being present becomes bearable after a while. And presence is what will take you through this. Explain to her how the pain she feels can be allowed.........you be that room for her...where she can release it......you can explain the principle of allowing the pain....
However bad this situation looks....now that it is in fact here.....use this possibility and stay very present with her. Don't let her close up.....and lay yourself bare....don't give up trying to explain to her the workings inside you......
Inside a crisis like this.....there is always hidden a potential of expansion and growth for all involved....much like the Chinese word for "crisis" is the same as the word for "chance". Nothing - absolutely nothing - happens by coincidence. I agree with Sparkle....deep down...you who love honesty and openness.....at some level you have wanted the cards on the table. Of course not this way....not through hurting her......but sometimes life breaks one open......this incident has cut right to the bone.....stay with the nakedness of that......and also know that you will mend...one way or the other.
If you email me her name I will have both of you in Samyama.
Much love to you and your wife.
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 2:38:49 PM
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Balance...we cross posted....
Thank you for your beautiful words  |
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Balance
USA
967 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 2:45:11 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
Balance...we cross posted....
Thank you for your beautiful words
And you yours Katrine. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 2:50:20 PM
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Thank you Katrine...you speak great Truth as always. Her name is Deanna.
And the more I think about it, the more I think you and Louis are right. I likely DID want this out on the table....not like this, but I crave openness and honesty so.... I also had a really awful reaction at first when this happened. My body, NOT my mind, wanted to smile when she told me she had read something she shouldn't have. And even when she told me what she read I was still having to fight a smile. It was so conflicting because I was also crying. Crying and fighting a smile. WTF??? I thought it was some sort of weird physical...I don't know the word....uncontrolable response/reaction, cause it was very hard to stop and was very....well, happening. I couldn't help it. My body wanted to smile and laugh. NOT a good time for that to happen. And as soon as the feeling of needing to smile went away, I started having a "shaking" response like what I have gotten in other odd situations. One being in my second acupuncture treatment which I wrote about here... http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=5342 .... I don't know what this is, or what it means, but it happened. Anyways, thank you as always for your powerful insights.
Love,
Carson |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 3:31:04 PM
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Sometimes we have to bite off just a little bit more than we can chew, to test ourselves, not to take life for granted. To expose what we are and to be accepted for it in order to learn and to grow.
There is no failure there is only feedback, cause and effect, we do something and get a result:
It is said that when Thomas Edison was busy trying to make a functioning electric lightbulb that he tried hunderds of different metals and gases. On one occasion he blew up the lab, very nearly killing himself and his assistant. On being asked if he would give up these foolish experiments because he had failed so spectacularly ? He replied that, far from failing he had actually learned how to create an electrical explosives detonator.
Only in trying something do we progress and learn, anyone who has never failed at something has never tried anything.
Your sub-conscious does these things for you because you cannot, like a six year old child it simply seeks to get you want you want and obeys every instruction as best it can.
It's good to fall down once in a while and realise we are human. |
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Konchok Ösel Dorje
USA
545 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 3:38:30 PM
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| Carson, You know what you have to do. Use your heart. Put your computer away for awhile and spend time with her. Unless, you don't want to. Either way, you know what you want. Just do it. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 3:43:40 PM
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I deleted the post because it was not written from a clear place. Probably this is not written very well either, but fingers start tapping here, so here we go...
There's honesty, and there's honesty... Saying everything the mind invents, pushing all your stories onto another being is not what I mean with Radical honesty. Radical honesty is about being true to your inner self.
Truth is You have not hurt her a bit. If she is hurt, she manages to do that very well herself by believing her own thoughts. Who is hurting here, who is spreading words of anxiety and regret over the forum? You are only hurting yourself this moment by believing YOUR thoughts about what happened.
As I wrote in the post before - if it's true that "The universe makes no mistakes" this was a brilliant push from life to bring more Radical Honesty into your life with your wife. The laughter bubbling inside of you is a clear sign of that... it's pointing at a distancing from the mind-drama created by this! The drama is only going on in your thoughts. Not in the situation itself. The situation is now more open and clear - you have a new platform to communicate from! Only good can come of this as far as I can see. It's an inevitable process of "getting your life straight". Wherever there's hidden stuff, it will bubble up sooner or later! I agree with Louis - it surely seems as if your unconscious wanted to relieve this "pressure" from you as fast as possible. Putting on my teacher voice I'd say: Well done! Jolly good job! It's transformation occurring!
I truly wish you all the best in sorting things out! It will happen sooner if you stay honest!
Radical honesty is about acknowledging it's all happening in you anyway... The way I see it, your wife is only the screen on which you project your own muddy stuff! Who is the victim here? Just sending some provocing thoughts...
Love to you, emc
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Edited by - emc on Apr 21 2009 3:55:57 PM |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 4:00:39 PM
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Hi karl....
All things work together for good. This will be no exception I am sure. Thank you.
Love,
Carson |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 4:05:28 PM
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Hi Ösel...
quote:
Originally posted by Konchok Ösel Dorje
Carson, You know what you have to do.
Stop posting intimate stuff on the forums?
quote:
Originally posted by Konchok Ösel Dorje
Use your heart.
I did...and I will continue to.
quote:
Originally posted by Konchok Ösel Dorje
Put your computer away for awhile and spend time with her.
FYI I don't spend time on the computer when she is around. She read this while I was golfing. I had been reading the forum for a few minutes after meditation and before golf, and as usual I just left the screen on and on the active topics list. Stupid. Yet brilliant perhaps? Who knows.
quote:
Originally posted by Konchok Ösel Dorje
Unless, you don't want to. Either way, you know what you want. Just do it.
What I want is to not hurt her in the future. I will do my best to do so. Thank you.
Love,
Carson
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 4:22:59 PM
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Hello emc....
quote:
Originally posted by emc
I deleted the post because it was not written from a clear place.
Ok I thought it was great....but you're the author! You get to choose whether you publish or not .
quote:
Originally posted by emc
There's honesty, and there's honesty... Saying everything the mind invents, pushing all your stories onto another being is not what I mean with Radical honesty. Radical honesty is about being true to your inner self.
I guess in order to be true to your inner self, you must KNOW the inner self first right? Perhaps that is my biggest issue. The suppressed smile and laughter would obviously indicate that I am not in touch with my "inner self" as this was a very conflicted reaction. But it also indicates that I am on my way to figuring out what that inner self really is and am slowly dropping the layers of "un-self"....so I guess only more time and practice is needed here?
quote:
Originally posted by emc
Truth is You have not hurt her a bit.
Well.....I dunno about THAT... I can see that the perpetuation of the hurt is her attaching to the things I said/she read, but that doesn't mean I didn't hurt her does it?
quote:
Originally posted by emc
If she is hurt, she manages to do that very well herself by believing her own thoughts.
Yes, and she said this to me actually. She said that this hurt so badly mainly because she herself often feels unattractive...and in that part of the discussion we came to the agreement that it was likely these times when she didn't feel attractive even to herself, that these were likely the times that I didn't feel attracted to her either. I felt this way all along, but it was good for her to come to this realization on her own I think.
quote:
Originally posted by emc
Who is hurting here, who is spreading words of anxiety and regret over the forum?
Do I have to answer that, or can that be a rhetorical question? Please? Haha.
quote:
Originally posted by emc
You are only hurting yourself this moment by believing YOUR thoughts about what happened.
Yes for sure. I feel that I am an awful person. I am choosing to believe this even though I really am not an awful person. At least not on purpose .
quote:
Originally posted by emc
As I wrote in the post before - if it's true that "The universe makes no mistakes" this was a brilliant push from life to bring more Radical Honesty into your life with your wife.
Thanks life.... Haha.
quote:
Originally posted by emc
The laughter bubbling inside of you is a clear sign of that... it's pointing at a distancing from the mind-drama created by this!
Yes, I have noticed this in other, less awkward situations. Situations where I see unneccessary suffering and can't help but laugh and smile. Shanti sent me a story about Krishna as a child and "Lila", or "God's play", that symbolized this nicely.
quote:
Originally posted by emc
The drama is only going on in your thoughts. Not in the situation itself. The situation is now more open and clear - you have a new platform to communicate from!
Having resolution at the end of the evening WAS a liberating feeling....as much as I almost wanted to supress that as well. I hope that this can be the beginning of an even more open and honest relationship between us.
quote:
Originally posted by emc
Only good can come of this as far as I can see.
Good has come from a lot worse situations then this, so I guess it would be silly of me to think that this is all negative.
quote:
Originally posted by emc
It's an inevitable process of "getting your life straight".
A painful and jarring experience, albiet necessary I assume.
quote:
Originally posted by emc
Wherever there's hidden stuff, it will bubble up sooner or later!
Great.... Gotta stop hiding stuff!
quote:
Originally posted by emc
I agree with Louis - it surely seems as if your unconscious wanted to relieve this "pressure" from you as fast as possible.
It does sort of seem that way doesn't it.
quote:
Originally posted by emc
Putting on my teacher voice I'd say: Well done! Jolly good job! It's transformation occurring!
Indeed.
quote:
Originally posted by emc
I truly wish you all the best in sorting things out! It will happen sooner if you stay honest!
Thank you my friend...your encouragement and advice is greatly appreciated.
quote:
Originally posted by emc
Radical honesty is about acknowledging it's all happening in you anyway... The way I see it, your wife is only the screen on which you project your own muddy stuff! Who is the victim here? Just sending some provocing thoughts...
I LOVE playing the victim though Thanks emc.
Love,
Carson |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2009 : 7:18:27 PM
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Carson, when the mind is running 1000000 miles an hour it is hard to know how we feel. You write on here so much that while meditation may be going well you may be hindering it outside of meditation by all the thinking, writing, attaching. are you sexually attracted to your wife, you may not even be aware of the honest answer to that right now.
that is my observation, from my limited perspective. you have to find your own truth.
my best to you and her
with love
Brother Neil
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2009 : 12:04:46 PM
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Hi Brother Neil....
quote:
Originally posted by brother neil
Carson, when the mind is running 1000000 miles an hour it is hard to know how we feel.
Yes I agree.
quote:
Originally posted by brother neil
You write on here so much that while meditation may be going well you may be hindering it outside of meditation by all the thinking, writing, attaching.
Well, whether I write about stuff or not, I am still dealing with it all regardless. I find writing about it, or just writing it down in general, very theraputic. This is why I write so much....Not always because I need advice, not always because there is something wrong, but because it helps me to write stuff down and not just verbalize it in my head. Writing it down helps to actually formulate EXACTLY what I feel about something. It's like doing "The Work" by Byron Katie....it just isn't as effective if you do it in your head. It always works better when you write it down. And I seem to go through spurts anyways....I will often go days without writing a thing, and then write thirty posts in a few days. Saving up I guess.
quote:
Originally posted by brother neil
are you sexually attracted to your wife, you may not even be aware of the honest answer to that right now.
Yes, I am sexually attracted to my wife.
Thanks for the input.
Love,
Carson |
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Kirtanman
USA
1651 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2009 : 7:50:30 PM
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Brother Carson!
We meet @ last!
Dude (<- Californian for "Sri" ) ... we have *so* much in common, background-wise & interest in various things-wise, it's not even funny, eh? (<- I'm fluent in Californian *&* Canadian  ).
More on that soon, I'm sure!
In the meantime, though -- I hope you and your wife are feeling better at the moment -- sometimes stuff has to "get a bit painful" in order to heal -- and true loving/true connecting *is* the balm that heals ... and the balm that minimizes and transmutes all pain -- and it sounds like you two have that loving in a rather awesome, yet very-real abundance.
You love each other.
You know you love each other.
You love each other even when stuff hurts.
All the rest is details; life happening; that's all.
Real Love, as you know (I remember you talking about Greg Baer's book here at the forum) involves being Wrong, Being Seen ... and Being Loved.
You're doing all three, in utter authenticity.
And I betcha just about anything: your wife sees this, and knows this, and loves you for it.
Sure, she read some stuff that triggered some ideas that she can loop in mind-emotions about ... we all have those, until we mostly-don't, anymore --- and she also read some stuff that, I'm guessing, from a woman's perspective, caused her to see how truly loved she is -- and how much of yourself you're willing to share, in order to overcome something you've been confused about -- in order to love her even more.
If she somehow missed this ..... tell her to read the thread again.
All this surface-mind conflict "stuff" is the part of the iceberg that's above the surface ... the 9/10ths that's below the surface .... *that's* where you and she are one iceberg. And you both know it. This wouldn't be playing out like it is, if that wasn't true.
Just drop your ideas about *everything* - sexual attraction, hurting people, being "better" in the future (there is no future, and there is no "better" -- the ocean of IDEAS is the toughest obstacle we all face, *apparently* ..... which is why it's symbolized as the Red Sea in the story of Moses, and it's symbolized as the ocean between India and Lanka in the story of Rama, Sita & Hanuman.)
Moses is Bhakti/Love.
Hanuman is Bhakti/Love.
YOU are Bhakti/Love (whoever is reading these words; whoever is writing these words ).
Do you love enough to transcend ideas, and love reality as all you are?
Yes, it's a rhetorical question.
You know the answer -- know your self as the answer -- much more deeply than ideas of doubt or doubtful ideas can ever penetrate.
Keep loving with your whole heart and practicing AYP -- and you'll soon enough be living as simple, aware freedom beyond imagination.
You're *way* past the hardest part.
Just keep going -- and don't think so freakin' much.
As I said in another post some time back:
When in doubt, LOVE.
When not in doubt, LOVE.
... and if there's anyone I've ever seen who can pull *that* little trick off .... it'd be you, Brother Carson.
And, everyone --- per my posts the last couple of days:
This isn't a game.
It isn't a debate.
This isn't a "try it and see".
AYP WORKS.
For REAL.
The way to (pick your term) Enlightenment, Salvation, Realization, Liberation, Nirvana, Buddhahood, Christ Consciousness, etc. etc. etc. ... which is the actual unborn infinite eternal nature of the unbound awareness reading these words .... the unbound awareness pointed to by every valid spiritual tradition in the entire history of the world, all over the world .... has been distilled, organized and simply presented by Yogani.
Actual Realization is available - to everyone reading this.
For FREE (you don't have to buy the books; though it's well worthwhile to do so --- everything you need for self-realization is available right here, on this web site, for free.)
ALL you have to do is keep practicing and not get mired in ideas.
If it takes you more than a small handful of years, it's *because* you got caught up in ideas.
You can't miss it; it's who you really *are*.
And, on the one hand ... yeah, I diverted into general pronouncement ... but on the other hand:
This one's for you, Brother Carson!
You've already got it, man ----- love, practice, repeat.
That's ALL.
"C'Mon In - The Divine is FINE!"
Heart is Where the AUM Is,
Kirtanman |
Edited by - Kirtanman on Apr 22 2009 8:06:30 PM |
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Goddessinside
158 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2009 : 12:20:26 AM
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_/\_
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Edited by - Goddessinside on Apr 23 2009 06:35:57 AM |
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Terrible mishap.....
