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mikkiji
USA
219 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 15 2009 : 3:53:49 PM
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I have some suspicions regarding what this might mean, but would like input from others on this path. Brief background first; After 30 years of twice-daily regular meditation, pranayama and samyama practices and a lifetime of dharmic service, my wife became very ill, and I spent several months totally celibate. I experienced at that time a classic spontaneous kundalini awakening. While many of the elements of the period of time I spent in that ecstatic state have remained with me, after my wife healed and our sex life resumed, I lost most of the manifestations of it. (Hey--I did not at that time know anything about it!) From that time on, I have been witnessing sleep and carry with me an omnipresent awareness of silence in all action, of Being in all Doing. My new wife and I became lovers just a year ago--our sexual union was immediately of a nature neither of us had ever experienced or even imagined--and has only deepened as time has passed. I had been practicing solo tantric techniques ever since my first wife died--learning to stay ahead and keep going for longer and longer time. After we became lovers, my wife was quite pleased that an old man like me could last nearly indefinitely in bed, all the while achieving up to a dozen full-body non-ejaculatory orgasms within an hour or two. We would do this once or twice every day for days on end... BUT...
But, I began to feel that I wanted to climax fully, actually that I NEEDED to do so--that without the final release of my seed, something was missing. So I decided to let go. And I couldn't! Try as I might, my training to stay pre-orgasmic left me unable to ejaculate. After a frustrating couple of weeks (I still had orgasms, just not the kind I felt I wanted), I went into a mental, emotional physical and spiritual state with my wife that left us both without individual body or ego--without any identity at all other than the endless moment of complete union--total sat-chit-ananda. I climaxed fully after many minutes (or hours or days, maybe weeks or months?!?) in this state of ecstasy, spilling my seed inside of her--or so I felt and thought. I did not get soft--I remained rigidly erect inside of her. I did not get tired--I remained blissfully alert and peacefully fulfilled, not the least bit drained. I felt MORE full, not less, more alive than I'd ever been, more aware of Reality than ever.
I have repeated this sequence many times since then, in the past 4 months. It no longer takes hours to reach--we can get there in anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. Each time I climax and ejaculate, I remain erect--there appears to be no refractory period of tumescence. I remain alert and energetic--able to continue making love if we both desire. When I climax, she receives some kind of jolt which causes a physical reaction in her of overwhelming orgasm, and a spiritual reaction of union and bliss. What IS this? Have I somehow transcended the dampening of the alertness centers which ejaculation normally demands? How can I ejaculate and not lose my erection? And not get tired or feel drained? I'm a bit confused as to what I'm experiencing--but it's all good... Better than good, in fact!
Thanks,
Michael |
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Lili
Netherlands
372 Posts |
Posted - Jan 15 2009 : 5:09:26 PM
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Dude,
Why do you ask yourself the question what it means at all--sounds like you are having a great time just enjoy yourself. Wish you that this remains your biggest 'problem'  |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Jan 15 2009 : 5:19:48 PM
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wow that's beautiful Michael, thk you for sharing this and hopefully things will get even more better for you.
i was wondering what were the solo tantric practices you used between the time your wife passed on may she rest in peace and the time you met your new wife. |
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tadeas
Czech Republic
314 Posts |
Posted - Jan 15 2009 : 6:05:13 PM
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Interesting, Michael :)
It's also my experience that after many months of no orgasm and no ejaculation, it may actually be a bit hard to get there :)
Other than that, it's a proof that many things can be changed, especially in a human body  Enjoy. |
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mikkiji
USA
219 Posts |
Posted - Jan 15 2009 : 9:23:50 PM
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Lili--I ask myself the question out of pure curiosity. I am a very analytical person, and seek to understand my inner experiences both intellectually as well as directly. I never said I had a "problem", just a question!
Ananda--The solo tantric practices I used were actually self-discovered at the time--I had no real clue as to what I was doing. I was lonely and frightened during her illness and after her death, and had never been with another woman. I actually had a desire to give up the householder's life and become a monk, but still had a child at home to raise. My sexuality was pretty dormant at that time, but for some reason, I began to look on the web for photos of naked women--I guess I WAS, in fact, horny, I missed my wife terribly, and just needed some release. Looking at the photos led me to viewing short pornographic videos, nothing kinky or weird, just normal heterosexual sex, but it did get me going. The thing was, the free videos I found tended to be only a couple of minutes long at the most, so I would have to keep stopping and download a different one--I was doing a "start and stop" sort of thing without even knowing what I was doing. So my excitement would build and then level out as I continued to masturbate, stop to download another video, begin again, etc. That didn't ever really bother me, and I could tell almost from the start that I was building endurance, that I could go on for almost as long as I wanted before I either stopped or gave in and decided to climax, but usually with blocking--which I also discovered by myself spontaneously. I also had many intense devotional meditations about my late wife and our 35 years together, which I also believe were partly responsible for my progress as a kind of bhakti yoga. I engaged in these for perhaps 9 months.
Michael |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2009 : 04:16:12 AM
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Hi Michael,
I'm not able to explain the phenomenon, I just wanted to say I recognize it. In some shaman groups I know the men train themselves to be able to do just what you describe - have continued erection in spite of one or several ejaculations and experience no energy drain. So it's clearly possible! With them, though, I just saw it as a practice they did from the ego in order to have "more sex". It was not really about cultivating sexual energy - more a play with energies or manipulation of them for egoic needs. That's not what you are doing, but perhaps the energies have started to behave in the same way for you anyway! Then, having that ability without egoic needs... I guess it's just a bonus! =)
To stay pre-ejaculatory/orgasmic is only a tool to cultivate sexual energy - when Being Presence and making love from that place... anything can happen with the body. Erection soft - hard - no orgasm - orgasm - ejaculation... doesn't matter. It's all stillness in action when we are there! |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2009 : 04:43:32 AM
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i'm very glad :) that things turned out so well for you.
thk you for sharing that with us, it's an inspiration for what's to come for others on the path even for someone like me who isn't so active sexually.
these day whenever i get teased i let go most of the time, i've found that staying in is a lot more better spiritually than going out but of course everything in moderation there's no harm in going out once in a while.
warmest regards,
Ananda
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glagbo
USA
53 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2009 : 6:19:41 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by mikkiji
...
I spent several months totally celibate. I experienced at that time a classic spontaneous Kundalini awakening. While many of the elements of the period of time I spent in that ecstatic state have remained with me, after my wife healed and our sex life resumed, I lost most of the manifestations of it. (Hey--I did not at that time know anything about it!) From that time on, I have been witnessing sleep and carry with me an omnipresent awareness of silence in all action, of Being in all Doing.
...
I felt MORE full, not less, more alive than I'd ever been, more aware of Reality than ever.
....
How can I ejaculate and not lose my erection? And not get tired or feel drained? I'm a bit confused as to what I'm experiencing--but it's all good...
Michael, this is very inspiring development. This is a high level of refinement in the neurobiology.
It seems fair to assume that the “sexual essence" fueling your current Tantric Escapades is of a very highly refined grade, more refined than the essence cultivated during your initial celibacy leading to the Kundalini awakening. In that case, a question one could ask is "what would this new essence be optimized for?"
Put more bluntly, if saving that other essence lead to the 24/7 witnessing (5th state/cosmic consciousness in MMY's terminology), then would it be fair to assume that cultivating the current refinement is intended by nature to fuel the next level (6th state/God Consciousness), on to the 7th level of Unity?
May be the right question is not about what you do not feel you are losing through the repeated orgasms, but instead ask whether faster further blissful development can be achieved by staying as much pre-orgasmic as possible?
Man, we need more Unity Consciousness Guys/Gals around to help carry some of us forth. If you ask me I'd say someone is using jet fuel on an amusement park merry-go round  . Then again it is your jet fuel to use as you please.
Glagbo. |
Edited by - glagbo on Jan 16 2009 6:21:54 PM |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2009 : 04:11:53 AM
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Hi Michael,
This can happen when the automatic vajroli process becomes stronger than the energy release of orgasm. Basically, during lovemaking large amounts of prana are flooding your system because of purification work that you have done previously. Then, when there is orgasm with ejaculation there is no loss of erection because of the build up of prana in the system and you can carry on making love.
You may find that with repeated ejaculations in a short space of time you will still experience some energy depletion.
Great to hear about your wonderful experiences.
Christi |
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arzkiyahai
93 Posts |
Posted - Oct 05 2010 : 10:22:36 PM
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I did not ejaculate for 2-3 weeks , this time when I ejaculated I remained erect, totally erect and fully hard, but the feeling/desire to do it again was gone.
But for me, I still felt energy loss, and I ejaculated the next day again this time I did not remain erect after ejaculation.
Just thought would share this. |
Edited by - arzkiyahai on Oct 05 2010 10:32:33 PM |
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Piruz
United Kingdom
73 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2020 : 2:36:30 PM
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Interesting what you guys describe and very insightful too. Normally people with an awakened Kundalini are advised against indulging in extremes, sexual or otherwise, until their "storm passes by". Then again that's for people with a prematurely awakened Kundalini, like myself. "Take long grounding walks but don't run or do heavy workout", we're told. "Kiss, hug and caress, but don't go for a full-blow orgasm", I was told many times.
Whatever mikkiji and arzkiyahai are doing with their Prana, theirs must work in a completely different way than my own does. Either your upper body chakras are fully open and there's some sort of energy freelow which isn't upset or "hijacked" by an overactive focal point (in this case the sexual organ), or they're completely untouched (not activated) by your Prana work and don't aggressively draw energy upwards like in my body, therefore making such impressive sexual feats unupsetting (which I don't even know if it's possible or not, I mean to have that much Prana without the upper body chakras "demanding" their share).
In my case, and after an aggressive, full-blow and stupidly premature Kundalini awakening (especially the heart chakra), orgasm is almost always followed by a "Prana punishment" of some sort whereby the whole system is upset and "back to square one", endeavoring once again to "get back up there" and unite with whatever is awaiting it between the eyes. I have absolutely no doubt that if I were to indulge in these tantric sexual feats you guys describe then I would pay for it with weeks of pain, agony and the wide range of physical symptoms associated with an upward-charging Prana onslaught.
Literature is inconsistent regarding the role of sex in spiritual/Kundalini awakenings. From what I can tell, some advocate celibacy (at least until Prana reaches the third eye and dissolves negative karmic forces), whereas some advocate a more relaxed approach. I guess it's different for each of us? |
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interpaul
USA
551 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2020 : 11:20:57 PM
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| Piruz, It looks like you are responding to a post over 10 years old so you may not get much response from the original posters. My sense of this post is it is the exception, not the rule. We each experience things very differently but there are certain commonalities. It sounds like you are still in a phase of rebalancing. I hope you are able to find your way back from less "prana punishment" to more ecstatic bliss. |
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Ejaculatory Bliss
