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x.j.
304 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 17 2008 : 8:34:30 PM
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Hi all,
I enjoy writing in. I guess we all do. We have questions to ask each other in the yogin web community, and we have answers for others questions because..., well, because we want to help each other. Even if we just have a hunch, and often because we appreciate corroboration of some yogic observations. We are curious how many of us share the same perceptions. Like the enhancement of kindness to other people and animals for example, that is a tangible product of our practices and meditation, and of our transformation.
That said, I wanted to make some observations. First of all, and i have been meaning to raise this point, is that I sense that there are some contributors to these forums who pose as one contributor but actually are writing in as several different authors with different user names. But in reality the different user names are all the same person. No way to know for sure of course, but it sure seems that way to me. I won't need to name any user names but I am quite certain this is the case. Think of it like the device of writing a novel with different personalities but all are the creation of the author of the novel. Sort of like that. That's OK, a small deception, but by doing so, one fictitious author can agree with and validate the other fictitious post presumably by the other pseudonym he is posing as. Or, one pseudonym poses and question and then the same person answers the question under his other user name.
This is fine, and to be expected, but it is a mildly disturbing deception.
Another observation, is that some of the concepts presented here are just one paradigm of explaining what we are experiencing on the path of energy plus stillness. You could say the marriage of Shiva and Mother Kundalini, you could say of bliss and ecstacy, but frankly these are purely conceptual models of what is occuring as a result of our energetic practices and deep meditative practices. You could say we are achieving states of Samadhi. You could likewise say that the kundalini is moving through our bodies and our thought stream is calmed and even ceases as a result of the practices. And that the mudras and so on, serve to bring the thinking mind under some control, so we can rest in stillness. You could say that the stream of thoughts is what defines us as an egoic entity that is an illusion. That the fact there is a thought stream, creates the illusion of a separate self. You could say that we NEED a sense of separate selfhood for survival because otherwise we would get run over when we cross the street. We need to survive physically. So in other words, a separate sense of self is not all bad, but rather is essential in life, even if it is ultimately an illusion. An illusion that becomes more apparent with deep meditation and advanced states of Samadhi.
Another rambling I would submit is that the people who present the strongest opinions on the forums and seem the least tolerant of others opinions, are the ones with the strongest illusive sense of their own separate egoic self. When in actuality, we are all blind men and women feeling around in the dark, and to be strongly opinionated is the least enlightened attitude.
Thirdly, we all enjoy discussing spiritual and yogic subjects, because of our introspective personalities and obsessive tendencies, but that really, too much talk can be very disruptive to our meditations and will interfere with our attempts at achieving stillness and a calm mind in our meditations. Less talk and more practice can be good for us. Sometimes I think "what good is all this talk and endless discussion?" Then I get away from the forums for a while.
Fourthly, I hear folks talking about drug taking on the forums, and this is euphemistically called entheogens, as if somehow, taking some drug will lead them in the right direction. That seems intuitively to me, to be a denial of what they are doing, and not really a good idea in the least.
Further, any different paradigm of spirituality can be met with the need to translate that into the paradigm of the lessons and teachings here presented by the administrator.
And lastly, due to the anonymous nature of communicating on line with unknown persons, we don't know if the majority of these personalities are just one person, kind of writing a novel in fantasy land, and then some real persons come by and think all this is a big group of authors.
On the other hand, I sometimes think we really should just keep things simple. Instead of writing endless paragraphs to each other, perhaps we would be better off in the long run, just sitting on our cushion and going into the quiet of meditation. The egoic self loves to chatter, loves too much chatter, because that is egoically self defining.
I am sure some of these wierd comments I am making, kind of impulsively, will be met with considerable remonstration from the card carrying members of these discussion groups.
That's all,
x.j
P.S. uneditted, unrevised and not the party line. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2008 : 10:26:14 AM
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Hi x.j.
Wow. You sound pretty upset with what is going on here at the AYP forums. Sorry to hear that. I can't speak for anyone else, and I almost doubt that you will get many responses from members here, but I wanted to say that I for one, have only one user name and do not post responses to myself. You can choose not to believe me but this is the truth. About drug taking, perhaps you can point me to some of the postings you are talking about which seem to suggest that drug taking is advisable. I have not read one post where someone recommends taking drugs to another forumite, and in most of the posts I personally have made on drug usage I have been talking about how to quit usage not promoting it. Perhaps you are projecting what you want to read? I hope that you manage to sort some of these feelings out soon x.j. They sound like they are eating at you from the inside out. Perhaps it is time to take another break from the forum? Best of luck.
Love,
Carson |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Dec 18 2008 11:24:42 AM |
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x.j.
304 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2008 : 12:06:43 PM
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Hi Carson,
I'm not surprised to hear from you on the above comments.
I just wanted to be very honest and frank in what some of my perceptions are and share those in all sincerity. Sorry if you are somehow offended. I think it's fine to smoke dope and take hallucinogenic drugs, and I understand your situation of coming away from some serious addictions. I am glad you have found an approach to get off the hard stuff. But on the other hand, I hope you will eventually get off the marijuana as well, because it is helping you now, nevertheless, ultimately you will need to resolve that usage as well, to make further progression spiritually. So good luck in that.
I just think it is counterproductive to talk about entheogens. The reason? The reason is that we all need to do serious self exploration, and we need to be totally in sobriety to understand what it is that draws us to drugs and to rest comfortably with these cravings and what it is in us that is the cause of them. Nevertheless I think that you are making good headway with the lifestyle changes you have been making.
x.j. |
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2008 : 12:18:53 PM
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x.j. said:
Think of it like the device of writing a novel with different personalities but all are the creation of the author of the novel. Sort of like that. That's OK, a small deception, but by doing so, one fictitious author can agree with and validate the other fictitious post presumably by the other pseudonym he is posing as. Or, one pseudonym poses and question and then the same person answers the question under his other user name.
This is fine, and to be expected, but it is a mildly disturbing deception.
You think that's disturbing? What if it's even worse, x.j., and that is true of the Universe itself, not just AYP forum? What if Hitler and Jesus, Pol Pot and Buddha, Myra Hindley and Teresa of Avila, are all characters written by the same person -- figments of that author's imagination, to live only in the author's mind and to dissolve as soon as the author's mind departs? 
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2008 : 12:34:54 PM
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Hi x.j.
quote:
Originally posted by x.j.
Hi Carson,
I'm not surprised to hear from you on the above comments.
I just wanted to be very honest and frank in what some of my perceptions are and share those in all sincerity. Sorry if you are somehow offended. I think it's fine to smoke dope and take hallucinogenic drugs, and I understand your situation of coming away from some serious addictions. I am glad you have found an approach to get off the hard stuff. But on the other hand, I hope you will eventually get off the marijuana as well, because it is helping you now, nevertheless, ultimately you will need to resolve that usage as well, to make further progression spiritually. So good luck in that.
I just think it is counterproductive to talk about entheogens. The reason? The reason is that we all need to do serious self exploration, and we need to be totally in sobriety to understand what it is that draws us to drugs and to rest comfortably with these cravings and what it is in us that is the cause of them. Nevertheless I think that you are making good headway with the lifestyle changes you have been making.
x.j.
I figured you were expecting me to reply, so I figured I would oblige you. And don't worry, I wasn't offended. It takes a great deal of intentional attacking for me to get offended anymore. I am learning to not take anything personally. If someone has a problem with me, well, sh@#$y for them. That's my current take on it anyways. And if you have read any of my postings on marijuana, then you know that I am doing all that I can to not smoke it anymore, but this is taking time and a measured approach to acheive, just as I had to do with methadone. Just with weed it is for a different reason that I have to go slow. But I am cutting it out as fast as I can, and I am doing pretty good. Still haven't had a smoke today even though I have it rolled and sitting in front of me just waiting to be smoked. I am getting over it slowly and surely. And just to clarify, I don't recommend entheogenic use to anyone. I don't discourage it, but that doesn't mean I encourage it. And I disagree that it is pointless to talk about them because there is a TON of stigma attached to their use in general society AND at the forum, so in order to release an unnecessary stigma, conversation is required. At least that is MY take on it. And entheogenic use CAN be helpful for certain individuals....You DON'T need to be in total sobriety to learn things about yourself via self inquiry and in fact I have learned more about myself and my need for using drugs BY using drugs then I have ever learned sober. SO.....I guess we have to agree to disagree there, because I don't see things the way you are seeing them from your perspective. But that is fine with me. Hope it is fine with you.
Love,
Carson |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Dec 18 2008 12:46:31 PM |
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gumpi
United Kingdom
546 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2008 : 1:47:04 PM
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David, this springs to mind, "row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily life is but a dream". I don't even know if i got that rhyme correct. Maybe someone just said once, "life is but a dream".
I think my ego needs to go. God is deeply confused through an enlightened ego. It is the cause of schizophrenia i reckon. Too much past good karma, then in this life too much drugs at a young age - bang, enlightenment WITH an ego. Makes for a rather delusional existence (thankfully one i have got over now. Took me over a decade but it was worth the wait!). When you feel one with everything it is hard not to "listen" to everything also, and taking things personally in this way creates a hell on earth. That's why ego needs to go. In any case, i learnt to "listen" objectively and discovered that what is in other people's heads is where it should be and my head isn't in there's, just that "God" is trying to talk to me through them. All's good. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2008 : 3:46:43 PM
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David, funny, I was thinking the same scenario! 
The sentence above is a nice example of how I answer myself when I write as emc pretending to answer myself as David_obsidian. It's very convenient to be able to switch between personalities. I guess you recognize the same type of logical reasoning in the posts 'we' write... There's a great intelligence behind it..
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2008 : 6:41:35 PM
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just want to point out to whomever is replying to himself if in case they are opening a good and beneficial subject to read than thk you from the bottom of my heart for the good food for thought.
and the reason for posting is for chatting having fun and sharing one's experiences along the way and understanding where we are on the path and having some good directions on when to press the safety button and how to improve...
light and love,
Ananda |
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x.j.
304 Posts |
Posted - Dec 18 2008 : 7:46:27 PM
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Sorry if I stuck my foot in mouth.
x.j. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Dec 19 2008 : 02:17:44 AM
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my good friend there's nothing to be sorry about, if such a thing is happening then if it's for the general good that's okay but i think that such a thing is not happening.
bcz if it's for the general good and something related to core AYP teachings than mainly yogany will publish it in one of his lessons and there's no need for him for the q&a to publish his lessons that.
but on the other hand there might be some forum members who are doing it for all the wrong reasons and this is.... and it should be stopped.
and in case you knew any forum members who are doing it, then it's best if you'd speak up with yogani about it...
kindest regards,
Ananda |
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k123
118 Posts |
Posted - Dec 20 2008 : 06:06:37 AM
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Hi X J
I dont think you stuck your foot in your mouth. I felt your honesty and for me that is very important. I respect your willingness to say what you think and could feel your sincerity. I am not sure about some of the things you mention, it hasn't occurred to me that people may post under different names, but some of the other things have gone through my head.
I often question myself on time spent online, I read a lot even though I don't post much and I buy quite a lot of books. I know for my own self that sometimes this can be a bit of an escape, although not as bad as some I have tried in the past.
My questions for myself centre around the balance between experiences and growth (by growth I mean the kind of things that you mention at the beginning of your post - kindness, reduction in self protection and selfishness etc). Those latter are important to me and I know that life is generally better when my concern about myself is not to the fore.
I think your points about needing a separate self are very valid at least until one is in the position of reaching a genuine understanding of some kind of experience of oneness. As has often been discussed on this forum, the discussion of non-duality from a "words only" standpoint seems counterproductive.
I like this forum a lot and the reason for that is that there seem to be posts from people with something I like and there is a maturity here that is not present in many online forums. However it is still an internet forum and as we all know opinions abound on these, mine included.
I have recently changed my practice to straight self enquiry and joined a mailing list for this, however I have unsubscribed as all the mail seems to be from the standpoint of how none of us is real, whereas what I was looking for was a genuine discussion of problems encountered, experiences along the way, questioning etc. There is more of that here and for me your post was a part of that |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Dec 22 2008 : 02:33:32 AM
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Hi x.j. / Neptune
As far as I am aware, you are the only person in the forum posting under different user names. I think you should stop it.
And it is fine to bring up things for discussion, but you may find that starting one subject in one thread makes for easier discussion in a forum like this than bringing up several issues at once.
Christi |
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Shredder
USA
34 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2009 : 10:04:06 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by x.j.
Fourthly, I hear folks talking about drug taking on the forums, and this is euphemistically called entheogens, as if somehow, taking some drug will lead them in the right direction. That seems intuitively to me, to be a denial of what they are doing, and not really a good idea in the least.
Hi, I'm a newbie here. I've only just had a small sampling of the forum. And was surprised to read how casually people talk of their drug use. I really don't mean to demean anyone's path or criticize, even if this seems like I am. To me even if some drug could take you directly to the superconscious for short period, why go for a look? Why not get there at will, for as long as you like? Why look at it, when you can be in it?
And I agree, it seems like denial, as a way to justify shortcomings. Are shortcomings to be indulged or worked on? I just can't buy the argument that drug use is a way to further one's spiritual development, we have all the tools we need, no need to look elsewhere but within.
I have thought differently "back in the day" but having seen both lifestyles the path seems clear for me. Long ago I once read of American Indians use of peyote rituals and felt better of my own drug use, as if I was somehow, taking them/it for me benefit, not my own indulgance. I guess the reason it bothers me is that I see myself in these posts, and that stirs up things that took lots of work to get rid of. My hope is if someones else does not start doing drugs or see them as a path, they will not have to go though all that I did.......shredder |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
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Shredder
USA
34 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2009 : 11:29:29 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
Hi Shredder and welcome to the forum!
Yes there are a few of us who are/or have been drug users. I personally since starting AYP have dropped my heroin/methadone addiction, as well as cigarettes, alcohol and all other recreational hallucinogens etc. And I have been a chronic/habitual pot smoker for over 15 years and I have just quit smoking pot as well. Here are some links to some interesting forum threads in regards to drugs and yoga. Hope you enjoy and hope to hear more from you in the future. All the best,
Love,
Carson
Hi Carson, thanks for welcoming me!
It sounds like your path has had many bumps and maybe mountains, but through it you obviously have maintained an intelligent mind. Perhaps you could use your experiences to help others. Best of luck on your future.
In my past quitting pot was not easy, and I had to mentally fight it. But it was worth it, in about three months it was as a if vail was lifted, and I could see and experience things in a different light. I was not meditating then, perhaps that could have helped. And on a practical level, no more worries about run ins with the law, and less contact with people who did not share my path. Again good for you and best of luck....shredder |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2009 : 12:29:19 PM
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Hi Shredder,(any particular reason for the name Shredder or are you just a big Ninja Turtles fan? haha)
Yes, my path has had many bumps and mountains along the way, but with consistant AYPracticing these are all easily (well not ALL "easily" I guess, but most anyways) overcomeable. AYP has given me the clarity necessary to see myself and my actions(especially the unconsious ones) for what they truly are. The practices have given me a base of inner silence that is rarely shakable these days and I can honestly say that for the most part I can now react to almost any situation with dispassion, and yet still with love. Sure there are blips and potholes along the way, but with a basis in silence it is much easier not to react to difficult situations, or to react but not be attached to your reaction and easily let it go afterwards. This has become one of the biggest benefits of the practices for me as I used to be angry 100% of the time, and could never let go of that anger even though it wasn't directed at anyone in particular and just more towards the world in general I guess.
And I already am using my experiences as best I can to help others. I now work at the local homeless and rehab shelter in my city teaching AYP meditation (and SBP) classes to the homeless and drug addicted. I give back what I can when I can.
Yes quitting pot is hard. Especially for me. Quitting methadone was a cinch compared to quitting weed, but I am dedicated to seeing this through. I never worried about getting in trouble with the law,(I live in Canada, the land where everyone is chronic) but I can relate to not being able to hang out with people who used to be close friends anymore. Just have different interests now I guess. But anyways, welcome to the forum and may all your Here's be Now.
Love,
Carson |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Jan 09 2009 12:47:09 PM |
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Shredder
USA
34 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2009 : 3:43:24 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
Hi Shredder,(any particular reason for the name Shredder or are you just a big Ninja Turtles fan? haha)
No deep meaning here, Shredder was my old dog's name. He used to shred things as a pup, with great joy I might add. It seems as good a name as any, and since he no longer walks this earth I borrowed it for internet purposes.....shredder |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2009 : 4:12:59 PM
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Haha. Sounds like my dog Azalea. She's still a bit of a pup too and if I leave her unattended when I go out, or have a shower or whatever I usually come home/out to find a pair of underwear or some piece of my coffeetable or whatever ripped apart. Oh dogs, what a treat they are .
Love,
Carson |
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Lacinato
USA
98 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2009 : 7:23:35 PM
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Entheogens were very helpful to me, and I wasn't able to consistently meditate until I had a few nights of lifting the veil (in the same week)--deep down I was very afraid (terrified, actually--karmic blocks), and this masqueraded as my logical mind telling me I didn't need to do meditation. I would not have started a consistent practice for perhaps years, otherwise. It gave me the bhakti I needed to have faith in my path. Not everyone needs it, but if you can't imagine why someone would want the assistance of a plant spirit, then bravo! Your mind is obviously much less stubborn than mine was; your ego doesn't have the iron grip mine did. It actually was very humbling for me to admit that I needed help; I had always been against any type of drug/medicine/outside help, wanting to think I could do everything on my own.
Entheogens are not in the same category as drugs. I have never had much desire to do any drugs. This isn't a place to encourage them, but since they were an important part of my experiences and learning, I will mention them. I do respect people's reservations about them; some are always looking to the outside and never actually access what is inside. |
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spinal_tap
Indonesia
40 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 09:18:12 AM
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Hi x.j.
Don't worry about this sticking foot in the mouth. It tend to happen although I'm still not sure what are the cause (maybe something to do with the opening of the crown chakra + unprepared ego like gumpi explained up there). It happened to me lots of time, hell, I even offended some good friends for this "sticking foot in the mouth" accident. Thankfully my good friends still respect me although things will never be the same again...
Cheers bro, at least the people here are the bunch that will try to understand things like this the most. |
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miscellaneous observations
