I am interested in improving my sexual relationship with my girlfriend and myself. Over the time I have been into AYP I have noticed a big change in my sexuality...mainly that it is gone. I am a 21 y/o male and I now can go without sex or self-pleasure indefintley it seems. My only "lust" stems from pornographic images that are still lingering from my past fixation on raw pornographic sexuality. So, when I do give in and masturbate it is more of a cerebral desire than a physical one. I do not experience spontaneous erections or bodily desire too often nowadays and I think it has to do with some inactivity in the second chakra. I experienced A LOT of frustration with sexual dysfunction throughout the years (feeling insecure about not having good ejaculation control) as well as tremendous guilt about my dormant porn fixation and I think this lead to some closure around that area. I know that when I do percieve the energy in my body that area seems quite...quiet.
Although I am content in my celibacy I think it might do me some good to open up that part of me again. I think tantric sex can also help me to learn to bond with my girlfriend and strengthen our relationship.
So now in my sexual activity the name of the game for me "try not to ejaculate but last as long as you can". My ejaculatory control is mechanically pretty good, but the urge sometimes takes over and I temporarily give in. I experimented with blocking techniques, but soon afterwards discovered what I and doctor's suspect is a "spermatocele" on my epidymus - the result of dead sperm cells accumulating forming a benign cyst. I also don't really like the idea of mechanically blocking semen. AYP tantra always seem vague to me about what to actually DO during sex outside of mechanical blocking. I am interested in some info or book recommendations for techniques I can use during sex to make it more spiritually productive for me. Right now it is just a game of trying to control my ejaculation...but I would really like to experience the spiritual aspects of sexual union. I have looked into a couple of books on the subject...but they seem to be PC-muscle based as well.
As someone who doesn't know much of Tantra I am asking about the techniques or practices that don't involve artificial blockage of semen. I am interested in working with the breath or visualization of energy to divert energy upward. I have also read many warnings from people about messing around with the many Western Tantra methods that encourage many many tantric-orgasms but with little guidance as to what to do with the energy resulting in psychosomatic and energetic problems.
There are others here including Bewell who this has worked very well for. All the levers in the above mentioned thread are very powerful methods to expand tantra for a person solo or with a partner.
not sure if I can give a particular advice to you, as pelvic contraction+deep relaxed breathing works currently well for me. What I wanted to say is that I have very good understanding for the long-standing frustration about not having good control over ejaculation. I have experienced some psychologically very dark moments in my previous relationships, which definitely caused damage to my psyche and most of that stuff seems to always have been related to ejaculation control. So, just to let you know that it's been my struggle as well and that you are not alone.
Tantric advice
Posted - Nov 19 2008 : 10:38:50 PM
