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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 22 2009 : 4:29:12 PM
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Hi Ether
quote:
Yes; to become your character! I'm not there yet.
In my experience...(and have done a fare amount of work on the theatre stage)....this rarely happens until the play has been on for some weeks.
And in fact.....it is very interesting...how that "becoming the character"....is something very contagious....the whole ensemble....continues in eternal mutual evolving. The play never dies...it shapes itself anew every night. I love that about theatre 
The pain being a "vaccination to the next level"........that's a new perspective. Thanks for that, Ether
About the resisting of the pain.......here....it is seen that there has also been attachment to it. The attachment functions as an avoidance of what is beyond the pain...it is feared because it is not seen for what it is. In this case the sadness. Sadness is not pain.....it is the linking of stories to it that darkens it....the first story being that the sadness is "mine". Noone "owns" it however. It is just here.
So like you say....welcome the pain.....or simply be open...so that what is beyond it can surface.
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2009 : 10:35:08 PM
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Hi Katrine,
Sorry for the delayed reply, busy weekend over here.
quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
When you step on a.....what do you call those things that you pin papers to the wall with.....when you step on a nail (?).....you pierce the sole of your foot.....
I think a "tack" is what you are referring to.
quote:
It is probably the level of sensitivity......it has always been high. For instance......if you were standing here and I would watch you accidentally hitting your head on something....or fall....or any kind of injury......be it physical or emotional.....I'd immediately feel a physical pain....like a wave going through the body. It comes in from above and leaves through the soles of the feet. It has always been like that. It is like that.......in the heart.
Thanks for explaining your experience of the heart being pierced. I can't say I have experiences like that from seeing physical injuries occur to others. I can feel their pain when I observe an injury in a sense by imagining what that would feel like if it were to occur here, but no physical pain of my own. It would be interesting for you to observe if you have the physical sensations you describe if you are not looking when they hurt themselves near you?
On the other hand, emotional energy of others is very palpable. Sometimes it is difficult to discern if it is mine or theirs, other times it is very clear to me when it comes from another. I think the more we "un-identify" from form, the more clear the differentiations will be, time will tell.
quote:
After reading your post.....about the longing being a "leaving".....something simmered over the night.....waking up today not thinking anything in particular.....but during the heart breathing before the morning meditation......the seeing of the face of Jesus Christ (it is particularly the eyes.....they can bearly be looked at)....it fills the chest cavity......the release on the exhaling.....the piercing came.....the crying came.....so just sat with it until it was finished. While understanding nothing, Anthem11.
I do the same when intense emotions arise, I stay with them until they run their course. I will often inquire if there is a thought or belief that is associated with the emotions that is causing the suffering, when one isn't forthcoming, I stay with the emotion until it dissipates. Often my heart is overcome with love for the painful emotions or the corresponding thoughts which are causing the emotions as so often it is caused from misdirected self-love.
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The singing allows a lot of devotion and is at the same time very grounding......so right now this replaces Samyama....because when doing Samyama when going through another heart opening....it immediately overloads.....energy gets stuck in the head. I have wondered whether cosmic samyama would be better.....but haven't tried it yet.....
For me sport or physical exercise is the primary avenue for intense grounding. Sometimes I wish I had developed some musical capacity, who knows maybe someday...
My experience with Samyama is stable with one repetition of each sutra during each sitting session. Don't let is dissuade you because it may not be the same for you, but my experience with Cosmic Samyama hasn't been stable. I did it a couple of years back when Yogani first put it out there, but couldn't sleep well at night even after only doing it in the morning session.
The other day after reading Yogani's recent post on CS I felt inspired to try it again. It was incredibly powerful, but at the end of the day it felt literally like my brain was wide open and exposed to cosmic energy, hence I have put it back on the shelf for now. Things seem to be opening at a reasonable pace here with the basic practices I am doing now, so will stick with it for a while. My challenge is to maintain a routine that fits will within the parameters of self-pacing for my benefit and others.
quote:
The release from the heart now reminds me of this.....the sadness is familiar.....except that the magnitude of it is much greater.....and a lot deeper......it feels ancient.
It's funny, the primary emotional release for me years ago was fear, I faced it and it has since become a wonderful ally in life. Nowadays, the primary emotion which surfaces is irritation or anger, I think because I didn't allow myself to express this emotion and until only recently didn't value their role in life. I have always allowed sadness, but never had large amounts, who knows why, perhaps due to the unique make-up we each carry from past experiences.
quote:
This sadness......it is something very....crucial. The feeling is that....it must be allowed.....always. If aware of this.....it is not a problem. If unaware however......it will be resisted....and this is maybe the contraction....that again and again is pierced.
Just throwing it out there, but maybe inquire into the positive role that sadness plays in life?
quote:
If it is like this....then no wonder there has been both blissful love and pain.
From my perspective, pain is part of life and another valuable ally. Without it there would be no change or balance in life. There doesn't need to be suffering, but there does need to be pain. I welcome pain as my messenger to change. I love this exert on pain from Khalil Gibran:
“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility: For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.”
Lot's of love,
A
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2009 : 5:20:31 PM
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Hi Andrew
Thanks for a lovely post.
quote:
Often my heart is overcome with love for the painful emotions or the corresponding thoughts which are causing the emotions as so often it is caused from misdirected self-love.
Yes.....that is like "Om, my heart"......it is beautiful to look with the heart like that.....the look of heart is love.
quote:
Sometimes I wish I had developed some musical capacity, who knows maybe someday...
Yes...never say never.......creativity might blossom in the most surprising ways, though
Will let the question of cosmic samyama simmer....
quote:
It's funny, the primary emotional release for me years ago was fear, I faced it and it has since become a wonderful ally in life. Nowadays, the primary emotion which surfaces is irritation or anger, I think because I didn't allow myself to express this emotion and until only recently didn't value their role in life. I have always allowed sadness, but never had large amounts, who knows why, perhaps due to the unique make-up we each carry from past experiences.
Thanks for sharing this.
I never knew there were large amounts of sadness.......but it has surfaced recently now and then. Fear was a big issue for me earlier too. Some of it still lingers, but when aware, it is like you say an ally.....it is a way into greater awareness.
Usually...when there is sadness...it is like a mood here. And moods are natural...they will always come and go. The sadness doesn't happen often.....but this time it was deeper and linked with the piercing in the heart......
What I find so freeing is the fact that in understanding nothing at all of what is surfacing, touched and dissolved.....in this freedom of spaciousness....the lightness in heart is consistent.....it is as if the lack of "ownership" makes all the difference.....free and light.....even though at times sad.....although today the sadness has been totally absent.....
quote:
Just throwing it out there, but maybe inquire into the positive role that sadness plays in life?
Great throw
Inquiry it is now.
Thank you for that beautiful quote by Khalil Gibran.....
I was so inspired by it.....that I hear music coming to the words inside. It is not audible yet.....but it is on its way up. There has never been composing.....to so many words. But all the words carry the same message......
That is another aspect with this sadness....something that Louis mentioned in his post.....about the need to express...and the sadness that happens when the need is overlooked or hindered......when I have time off from work...which is almost never nowadays.....the space opens up for the creativity......the words come...and the music come......and there is so much of it waiting to come out.......
So it seems that when the day comes that the office job is over.....the opening will be for all of this...and more.
To express more and more life....more and more truth.
All of which is here always already.
Much love to you too, Andrew
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2009 : 2:55:39 PM
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This morning.....the space was clear......and the presence continued to pull all thoughts into itself.....there was just the clarity...and around 10 am....the love started streaming through......gentle......immense .....silent.......infinitely small bursting bubbles of joy.....all over the place......
Spreading from the heart that is just an opening..........like a valve without the "door".....opening both ways....no inwards...and no outwards....just one opening...
And there was singing to a woman at work (and a hug afterwards) ...there is so much anger in her.....that affects her surroundings....but in spontaneously asking her during one of her angry fits today....if she would mind being sung to .....she was very surprised to say the least (*laughing*.......not a very sane request *laughing*)..........the song (Ave Maria) found her heart......this woman has triggered frustration here because of the way her vibes would "eat" the presence in the room......But now.... the love in her was seen....and though her anger will come back.....it will not be able to hide the love she is again. Every time we commune - both she and I will know that she is not that anger.
Which is just.....pure freedom 
quote:
So it seems that when the day comes that the office job is over.....the opening will be for all of this...and more.
*laughing*.....so stubborn.... *S*.....there will be no "waiting until".....whatever it is. Here it is. All of it. Now. Office...no office....or whatever.
Andrew said:
quote:
quote:
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Just throwing it out there, but maybe inquire into the positive role that sadness plays in life?
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Katrine said:
Great throw
Inquiry it is now.
Yes....rather obvious now, isn't it......
So much love.....streaming through...because of the surfacing .....and acceptance of that sadness......
And so much love.....under that anger.....
Thank you my friends....for all the support
Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya 
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themysticseeker
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2009 : 3:03:32 PM
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| This effect is due to your channels continuing to cleanse. Try not to make too much of it. The awakened are at peace with no longing or sense of want... |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2009 : 3:11:09 PM
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A wonderful post and a beautiful story of outpouring love Katrine....thank you.
quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
*laughing*.....so stubborn.... *S*.....there will be no "waiting until".....whatever it is. Here it is. All of it. Now. Office...no office....or whatever.
This part reminded me of myself recently realizing that I have absolutely no care what day it is anymore. Work day, rest day, family day, snow day, hot day, cloudy day, they are all "days" and I love them all the same....a lot. 
Thanks again for being such an inspiration.
Love,
Carson |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2009 : 3:23:26 PM
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Hi TMS
quote:
This effect is due to your channels continuing to cleanse. Try not to make too much of it.
That is such a brilliant advise. May it never be forgotten. Thank you TMS
quote:
The awakened are at peace with no longing or sense of want...
At peace...yes
Awake....yes
Sense of want.....no
Longing......hmmm.....the quality of the pull is different when the sense of want is gone.........but...here......the love is also its own pull.....maybe it is not right to call it longing......but in a way it is
The depth...it is not to fathom.....it is never ending.....and deeper and deeper and into it.....is the reality here now....it is not a final state....to be awake....it is ever dynamic....
So the longing......may it always be...if that is what it takes to always open further..... |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2009 : 3:27:35 PM
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Hi Carson
quote:
This part reminded me of myself recently realizing that I have absolutely no care what day it is anymore. Work day, rest day, family day, snow day, hot day, cloudy day, they are all "days" and I love them all the same....a lot.
I bet they love you too
quote:
Thanks again for being such an inspiration.
Thanks again for being so receptive |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2009 : 4:27:25 PM
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I am so grateful for the piercing pain....
May it come again......and go again......and come again and go again......in freedom.......together with all the other expressions that is
the never ending unfolding
of all the petals
of the flower of the expressive universe
And may the fragrance of the opening continue to emanate and silently speak of its origin |
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themysticseeker
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - Feb 25 2009 : 4:44:45 PM
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| Allow the thoughts, images and sensations to fall back into the silence... be at ease... non-focused, non-attached... let go... |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2009 : 2:38:25 PM
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Amen
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Parallax
USA
348 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2009 : 3:30:43 PM
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Katrine,
Your posts are beautiful...inspiring. Thank you for being so open and for sharing so freely. So many of us here on the forum resonate with the unfoldment that you describe in such lovely and heartfelt terms. I truly appreciate you!
Please keep sharing as much as you care to...
Peace & Namaste |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2009 : 4:24:49 PM
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Love and blessings, Parallax.
Were it not for all of you.....and the opening that is this forum................
it is grace, that's what it is
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The Longing
