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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 09 2008 : 12:35:48 PM
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Hi everyone,
I just need to write about some of what is happening to me onto the forum as an intellectual release as I am having a hard time understanding what is going on with me right now.
About a week and a half ago I had a very strange and almost overwhelming experience. I was leaving work and headed towards home. But as I was leaving in my car, I suddenly found myself overwhelmed by emotion and started crying out of the blue. Crying in both pure joy AND pure sadness. A very odd feeling to say the least. (I have had a couple of similiar crying bouts since starting AYP and have just attributed it to heavy purification) But this time was different then the others. The other times (I had crying fits) had all seemed to be related to the lyrics of a song I was hearing on the radio. (odd songs too, not really emotional type songs, for example one time this happened while hearing System of a Down's "ChopSuey" song. Not really meant to cry to ) But this time I could tell that something was different because this fit of emotion had nothing to do with what was on the radio. In fact I felt a strong desire to turn off the radio, so I did. This is when it starts to get REALLY wierd. I heard another voice in my head. Not my conscience, not my own voice (as I could still hear this voice too), but someone else's voice in my head. My inner voice and this other voice carried on a conversation in my head all the way home. (20 minute drive) I cried the whole way from the sheer beauty of it, and from the sheer pain of it as well. ("it" being the content of our conversation. Not important to discuss that here) When I got home I almost literally RAN to my meditation room and plunked myself into my daily routine of SBP and DM. The voice stayed with me throughout my whole routine and even through most of my grounding dog walk afterwards. In my meditation that day I had a breakthrough like never before for me. This was the day when I first got to "see" my sushumna. This day I had some of the most incredibly deep and silent meditations I have had yet, and I had some energy experiences I can hardly even begin to explain. I believe this was at least a partial Kundalini awakening. At one point I felt the energy rush up my spine into my head (especially strongly at the ajna point) and I almost thought that my head was going to pop off or explode. I felt a really strong pressure aroung the very top of my neck, and my head felt like it would burst. My blood pressure to a turn upwards, and the pressure at the ajna gradually subsided into a revolving pressure in my skull. (read about this experience a little more here: http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....D=4392#37276) My meditations were better then usual after this, but not ultra spectacular. Just regular and that was ok with me. No return of the "voice" either.
Fast forward to a week and a half later, Sunday evening. (today is Tuesday) That day I got my first massage. It was given to me by a friend (who is an Olympic bobsledder, yogini, and a Chinese medicine practitioner, acupunture, massage and herbs) as a wedding gift. I was very excited for this as I have heard that my friend has incredibly "healing" hands and that she is very intune with other peoples energy. I was really excited because of what is going on with my methadone reduction plan (http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....ID=4373#4373) and because of the aforementioned energy experience and was interested to see how this friend of mine would read my energy and how I would feel afterwards.
She massaged me for a full 2 and a half hours. Full body massage. I have never felt so good in all my life! Physically especially. She found that I had some pretty serious blockages in my neck, (which I had already thought I had) and she said I had some pretty serious energy buildup stuck in my head. This was confirmation of what I already knew at this point from my above experience. I had already been trying things like salt baths, eating meat,(was previously a vegetarian) and other holistic approaches to try and get rid of the excess energy in my head, but to only minimal success. After the massage I could "feel" the energy flowing much better and I did not have the pressure in my head anymore. I could feel energy tingling in my hands and feet and on the top of my skull very strongly. I went home, cooked and ate a steak (my first time ever) and a baked potato, read a little bit, and then headed for bed.
I was told I would be tired after my massage and that I should sleep like a baby, but quite honestly that was the exact opposite of what has happened for me. Like I said the massage was given to me on Sunday, and today is Tuesday morning. I have not slept yet since the massage. I have gone to bed as usual both Sunday and monday night, but I have laid awake in bed ALL night, both nights! Thankfully I am not tired at all, in fact quite the opposite, but I am wondering if this is normal and if I can expect this to persist. While I lay in bed I feel like I am getting rest, but my consciousness just stays with me throughout the whole night! My feet and hands and head are still tingling with energy, (mostly at night and during meditations) but I can handle that part. What I am really curious about though is whether I am actually getting sleep without losing consciousness, or am I just too wired with energy to sleep at all? Any thoughts?
In Love,
CarsonZi
Oh yeah, I almost forgot...on Monday morning, the day after the massage, I looked in the mirror and noticed a large red bump about 1/2"x1/2"x1/4" located right at the intersection of the two main arteries at my temple. At first I thought it was a zit, but on closer inspection I am sure it is neither a zit nor an ingrown hair. It is just a large red bump right in the middle of my temple. It wasn't there before the massage or I would have noticed it for sure...it's tender. Anyone had something show up like this before?
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Edited by - CarsonZi on Sep 09 2008 4:19:27 PM |
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2008 : 5:36:13 PM
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I've had those deep zit things before. They are annoying but of course, they go away.
It makes sense that you couldn't sleep after the body work...you are now more open to energy, so of course more is pouring through and keeping you up. But you will sleep eventually. The body just has to adjust to the new flow. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2008 : 7:08:00 PM
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Are they caused by Kundalini flow? (the deep zit things) Or just bad personal hygiene? And that must be some powerful energy to keep me up for 3 days without sleep despite working 2 of the days, and still being on methadone! |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Sep 09 2008 7:12:13 PM |
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2008 : 8:09:35 PM
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Well a lot of the time you can have great personal hygiene and still get weird skin stuff happening...so most likely it's kundalini.
And yeah, nice energy flow, jeez.  |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2008 : 1:16:04 PM
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I did manage to get a couple of hours of sleep last night which was nice. I wasn't "awake" throughout the whole night which was nice for once. I still have a ridiculous amount of energy today though despite only getting maybe 4hours of sleep total since Sunday morning. This Kundalini $hit is like nothing I have ever experienced before. (It really reminds me of when I was a methamphetamine addict except for all the nasty negative side effects ) I've never been happier in my whole life. No exaggeration. I'm having a hard time not gushing thanks continously to Yogani for spreading his lessons. (especially for free)
In Love,
CarsonZi
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2008 : 1:53:10 PM
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Hi CarsonZi,
Don't want to put a damper on your happiness.. but please self pace. Not sleeping for almost 4 nights will have it's toll on you.. that is how Kundalini energy works.. keeps you awake and alive within with energy.. but your physical body will not be able to keep up. You are doing enough to ground right? Do something that involves manual labor.. scrub floors, bathrooms, dig in a garden, work out in a gym.. You need to ground this high. Also, don't want to be a messenger of doom.. but a high like this is generally followed by a low.. like they say.. higher the peak.. deeper the valley. Please do watch out for this.
I know everyone is different.. and I do hope you will not have to follow this pattern. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2008 : 2:52:27 PM
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Hi Shanti,
You are not the bad messenger you think you are. I know. I have been grounding a TON! I walk my dogs daily after my afternoon meditation for at least an hour, I was a vegetarian for over 15 years and have recently taken to eating meat daily(2 steaks in 2 days) and have taken some of Albert's advice and taken several salt baths, as well as made sure to connect my ajna to the bare earth a few times when I was suffering headaches. Good thing is, I am not experiencing anything but PURE BLISS!(since Sunday night after my "energy" and deep tissue massage) No ill symptoms at all, other then not sleeping. And the not sleeping was not due to excessive energy (although I can feel the energy coursing through my system it is not too much OR uncomfortable) but instead due to me being really really happy and excited about my life and upcoming opportunities. I would lay awake and look at my wife sleeping and just SMILE and laugh (inside. well ok a little on the outside too) and things like that. I DID get some sleep last night, not because I was tired, but because it felt good to do it. And I woke up like a...like a...damn, can't think of a good simile. I woke up really chipper. And thank you again for the reminder to self pace, and the reminder that highs are followed by lows. I HAVE been self pacing believe it or not. My practice has been at a stable level for over a month now. No adding of new anything. Until this morning that is. I added my first Samyama practice. (this had been planned for quite a while now) And by God, I get it now. ("it" being Samyama) I will refer you to a thread I started about an issue I had with using the word Abundance. And I will explain why I "get it" soon in that thread.http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=4407
About the highs and lows thing, thank you, but I know this too. I'm a drug addict remember. I'm the king of highs and lows. I remember them quite well. Which is partially why I take advantage of the highs when they're here; they come so rarely sometimes . Anyways Shanti, THANK YOU for caring enough to be the bearer of bad news. It won't go unheeded.
In Love,
CarsonZi |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2008 : 7:24:45 PM
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I talked wiht a kundalini yoga instructor whom I hold in high regard, the highest I have met in per, unless you count visions I had some energy surges and talked to him about it. He said I could try plow pose for five minutes, but I have not tried it because the issue has not happened again since.
Good luck carson
I am peace, I am love, I am joy
I am Neil
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2008 : 10:27:32 PM
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Thanks for the idea Neil. I will look into it! (meaning I don't know plow pose)
In Love,
CarsonZi |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2009 : 8:46:09 PM
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Namaste Friends,
I have just had a bit of an overwhelming experience and I would like to share it in hopes of any insight.
After reading Roman's post here: http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....PIC_ID=5067& I felt quite insipired to hit the meditation room. It was time anyways and I had been delaying a little. I started into my asana routine but I quickly found myself in a very different state of mind then I would usually be in. I don't really know how to describe it. I definitely wasn't in full control. I have a usual asana routine but I didn't follow it at all today. I found myself doing postures I haven't done in years, and doing them all in an order that flowed seamlessly, while going much much deeper into poses like maha mudra, plow pose, and cobra pose, then I ever thought this body could do. (FYI I always do ujjayi breath while doing postures but today it was amost like doing pranayama and the postures at the same time.) The whole time my tongue was pressing back in my mouth hard and there was too much tension on the frenulum, so I knew that before I sat down to do SBP I would quickly run and snip. I finished with nauli kriya and I was able to get each muscle WAY out to the side individually while the other muscle "disappeared". Much more energy flow in this then usual as well. THEN I went to snip. I didn't take as big of a cut as I did the last time I did it, but I got much more blood almost instantly. But there was no pain and I went directly back to do SBP. SBP took on a whole new shape for me today. I was following my "silver thread" (which looks much like an allen key with a little ball on each end now) but I was not following it in my body. I was following the thread from the bottom which rested in the dirt of the earth with grass all around, to the top which was just above the top layer of atmosphere, stars all around. I tried to pay as little attention to this as I know this is just scenery, but this was VERY vivid and very real feeling. My tongue was now resting with the top of the tongue flat against the front of the uvula, the tip pressed hard into the back end of the soft pallette. (I have recently decided not to use fingers anymore and have not been in Stage 2 since, but this was very close with no fingers) I continued to do SBP in this vast open space, from earth to sky and back, and I could feel the energy getting stronger and stronger although I couldn't really feel where the energy was...it was just building. It got stronger and stronger and I started to lose all site of my sushumna, the earth, the sky, and everything was getting white....BRIGHT white...I felt like I was light as a feather and for a brief moment I caught the thought that I might be levitating and then the phone rang and I pretty much did a backflip right there sitting in siddhasana . I'm actually a little thankful for that phone call cause I'm not quite sure what would have happened next and I'm not sure if I am ready. Thank God for perfect timing! . Anyways, I did finish my session, and had a beautifully deep meditation, but by the time I made it to the shower (which is right after my rest period) I had/have hives on the backs of my hands, the tops of my feet, my knees and a strip up the left muscle just beside my spine. They are itchy like hell! I don't know what causes one session to be so drastically different then another, but thank God they aren't all like this! That was a bit scary. I need to go for a run, then a steak, then another run, and then maybe a swim. Yikes!
Love,
Carson
P.S. I know it's time to pace! |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Jan 22 2009 9:15:40 PM |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2009 : 9:29:51 PM
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Your experiences remind me of the times I would do yoga on marijuana, or once LSD. Especially the spontaenous flowing asanas and out-of-body shushumna. It is great that you are experiencing these things without drugs.
I have always been curious about these dramtatic kundalini experiences - specifically, what about the rest of the world around you? Do you experience a sort of tension of anxiety at the fact that you are rapidly transforming into a new being while everything around you seems to stay the same? Or do you notice that the world around you seems to accomodate your transformation somehow? |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2009 : 10:37:46 PM
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Hi Anthony,
Personally it seems that the world is changing at least as much if not more then me. Maybe (and probably likely) it is just my perception of everything that is changing, but people seem nicer, the connection is more "real", the emotions of people less negative, the sunny days seem sunnier and the cloudy days not so bad. No tense anxiety except perhaps directly after the experiences for maybe an hour. After that, perfect silence inside....at least for a while. Everyone seems to be conducive to the changes.
Love,
Carson |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Jan 23 2009 03:46:42 AM |
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