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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 09 2008 : 09:07:00 AM
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Greetings everyone
In the past months I have become involved in Buddhist-style breath mindfulness meditation. This came about at a point where it truly felt like the right thing for me. AYP caused a lot of good to occur but it really felt that after a year of AYP that my mind still needs a lot of work. Buddhist meditation and philosophy cleared a lot up for me in terms of what Bhakti and Karma truly are and what it is to witness your thoughts.
Lately, I have been feeling an urge to pick up AYP practices again. No doubt that it has to do with the lack of energy work in Buddhism. I don't know whether this is a good idea or not because it was the longing to be "high" all the time on Kundalini that caused me a lot of dissapointment with AYP in the past.
If I were to pick up AYP again I feel it would be necessary for me to continue my breath/body/mind awareness as I would be better able to identify unhelpful and counter-productive thoughts and attitudes. AYP seemed to be to be about two sadhanas a day, and for the rest of the day just go along with it and changes will occur on their own. This may be true, however, I feel there is a lot to be gained through daily awareness. What I loved about Buddhist meditation is that it carries over all day and can be done all day essentially. Like Thich Naht Hahn says - washing the dishes is meditation.
If I were to pick up some core AYP practices and begin again with Deep Meditation and Pranayama would it be considered "overdoing" if I were to be breath-mindful during the day and during mundane tasks and even have mini breath-meditations when I feel inclined? It is this looser philosophy of meditation that really appealed to me and although AYP is powerful I do not wish to loose this attitude of daily mindfulness which I never felt was emphasized. |
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Jun 09 2008 : 12:24:05 PM
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Hi Anthony
What you are describing is exactly what my practice is.
The AYP twice daily routine and the practice of mindfulness throughout the day.
I support the mindfulness practice by attending a weekly Thich Nhat Hanh Sangha and find this keeps the reminder to practice throughout the day.
I am also involved in the organisation of Mindfulness Ireland www.mindfulness-ireland.org and help organise mindfulness retreats etc.
However, even with all this involvment with mindfulness I still regards AYP my main meditation practice. I find there is no apparent overdoing between the two. In fact I find them completely complimentary.
I prefer the AYP meditation to mindfulness meditation because it establishes and maintains me in the witness more efficiently.
Mindfulness is a beautiful practice and it is apparent from reading posts here that the AYP practices can bring one to a natural state of mindfulness on their own.
You are obviously gaining a lot from your new practice but I would have no concern about combining the two practices.
The only concern I would have is if you were combining it with a lot of mindfulness meditation - but I think even a little of this would be ok.
Also, combining AYP with Mindfulness Retreats is often ok but can lead to overload, depending on what else is going on and how near the edge we are.
These are my experiences, hope they are of some help.
Welcome back
Louis |
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Divineis
Canada
420 Posts |
Posted - Jun 09 2008 : 2:33:30 PM
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That's what I started off with, in fact I never really used "I am" in meditation, I prefer just plain breath awareness with pranayama first. I also practice some breath mindfulness throughout the day, or i'll focus on my heels when walking, helping me ground myself\focus my awareness, stuff like that.
I'd definetly say watch out for "head heavy" (third eye\crown) overloads, like really giggly moods and such. I think the more zen, "do nothing" sort of meditations tend to get you in touch with awareness in a way that's not really tied down to anything, and so... if you're not really tied down (grounded) it can be bit of a bumpy ride. |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - Jun 09 2008 : 5:48:15 PM
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Thanks for the experiences :-)
What of the issue of "result" seeking? In Buddhism there seems to be less of something to accomplish other than residing in non-dualism. In this way when I am mindful and feel my mind as a mirror reflecting apparent "reality" I feel satisfied. When I was doing AYP I never felt satisfied because I wanted to feel high on Kundalini like "everyone else on the forums." I read about people having these constant orgasms, talking to trees, seeing auras and it is hard to maintain a sense of acceptance, at least for me. I suppose I could apply mindfulness to this and simply observe myself wanting these states and that it is within itself empty and transient to seek these states anyway. |
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brother neil
USA
752 Posts |
Posted - Jun 11 2008 : 4:35:19 PM
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When I played sports I would go on a learning phase where things were exciting and new and I would rapidly progress and then I would hit a plateau and level off. THe more frustrated I became at this plateau the more I stayed there or even fell back. When I was young and did not think about hitting the "wall" so much is when I used to skateboard. I was what many would consider "pretty Good: I would skate at a friends ramp most everyday or at the skatepark. I would go as much as 2-3 weeks without learning a new trick and then one day I would learn 5, 6, 7, or 8. How could I not learn one trick in a few weeks but thne all of the sudden learn so many in one day, who knows it just happened that way.
It sounds as, (I know I could always be wrong) if when you level off you then switch what you are doing, this may actually cause regression on your part. Hold the course and keep the faith even when frustration arrives, but I acknowledge that this is easier advice for me to speak then to put into application |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - Jun 11 2008 : 10:21:31 PM
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tubeseeker, I thank you for your advice. Actually, on the drive home from work just now I was actually reflecting on my rather unstable spiritual practice going from using drugs as tools to not, incorporating Buddhist meditation techniques to not, wanting to incorporate new AYP practices to strenghtening what I already do, ect ect. I think my use of marijuana in conjunction with AYP practice did not help in this sense because when the energy would be released without the strong presence of inner silence, I would have catharsis and realization one after another and each time I would think "this is IT! THIS is what I need to do!" I have resolved to stick with AYP without using such drugs (except once in a while maybe) and hopefully sticking to what I already have. Although each new realization seems 100% correct, it is in hindsight that I realize that I seem to keep taking one step forward and two steps back, although I cannot say this entirely because many things have improved.
I feel good inside about this goal and hopefully, as you said, I can move beyond the speaking and to the applying. I can say it feels good so far :-)
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yogibear
409 Posts |
Posted - Jun 12 2008 : 08:11:18 AM
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Anthony,
Have you read Yogani's Self Inquiry book? It is an excellent supplement to deep meditation and gives you something to do during the time you are not sitting in meditation.
Best, yb. |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - Jun 12 2008 : 09:57:37 AM
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I have the book.
Interestingly, I was a bit timid to try self-inquiry. I find that the states it produces tend to happen spontaneously for me - I suspect because of premature openings that occured because of the use of hallucinogens in the past.
When I do self-inquiry I feel it is like doing a stretch. I can go only to a certain point and then it feels "painful", then I back off. I do not know exactly how to intereperet the feeling of "pain" other than perhaps it is the ego "suffering" a blow to its indentity, or perhaps a stretch for its muscles. I feel that each time I reach the threshold of the "stretch" and then back off that something is gained in the same way as one becomes more flexible through stretching - but not through forcing oneself past the point of pain. Does this sound right to anyone? |
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yogani
USA
5201 Posts |
Posted - Jun 12 2008 : 10:28:49 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by anthony574
I have the book.
Interestingly, I was a bit timid to try self-inquiry. I find that the states it produces tend to happen spontaneously for me - I suspect because of premature openings that occured because of the use of hallucinogens in the past.
When I do self-inquiry I feel it is like doing a stretch. I can go only to a certain point and then it feels "painful", then I back off. I do not know exactly how to intereperet the feeling of "pain" other than perhaps it is the ego "suffering" a blow to its indentity, or perhaps a stretch for its muscles. I feel that each time I reach the threshold of the "stretch" and then back off that something is gained in the same way as one becomes more flexible through stretching - but not through forcing oneself past the point of pain. Does this sound right to anyone?
Hi Anthony:
That sounds just right. This is how self-pacing works in relation to all practices.
Well done! 
The guru is in you.
PS: And thanks YB for bringing up the Self-Inquiry book. It can be a useful companion to any kind of inquiry, discrimination or mindfulness practice.
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YogaIsLife
641 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2008 : 6:06:53 PM
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quote:
When I do self-inquiry I feel it is like doing a stretch. I can go only to a certain point and then it feels "painful", then I back off. I do not know exactly how to intereperet the feeling of "pain" other than perhaps it is the ego "suffering" a blow to its indentity, or perhaps a stretch for its muscles. I feel that each time I reach the threshold of the "stretch" and then back off that something is gained in the same way as one becomes more flexible through stretching - but not through forcing oneself past the point of pain. Does this sound right to anyone?
Yes Anthony, that sounds exactly right for me. I experience the same as you do, self-inquiry comes quite naturally and it can be "painful" really quickly. I did overdo my inquiry as I knew no other way of reaching for the truth of things and didn't have a clue about the witness we all have! The mind has not a clue of things it can not experience So meditation kind of "saved me" as I was literally "wrecking my brains out" trying to figure out things. As Yogani mentions, let silence take care of it. 
A funny thing actually happened to me. Even reading the Self-inquiry book, because it resonated so much with me, gave me a bit of "overload" symptoms again so I backed off. It can be scary how a mind can just start moving like a reckless train without caring for anything and you can feel almost your body cracking! It can be as you say, maybe too much of a blow for the ego, I dont know, the realisation of stuff if you're not ready. I find that self-inquiry might not go away with meditation but it does becomes much softer and pleaseant, more controllable. Yogani does mention it in his book: self-inquiry with the witness present is even fun! Can't wait 
But yes, self-pacing is important, even in self-inquiry. The "pain" will tell you when you are going to far. Then you just need to train to back off and keep meditating to strenghten the witness, the silence inside that shelters you from everything, even the playing of the mind.
All the best. |
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