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Razza
7 Posts |
 Posted - May 14 2008 : 05:34:44 AM
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I have been dabbling with meditation in my life for the last few months. However, I haven't been continuing on a habitual practice. My practices have been sporatic.
Recently I have become extremely interested in dedicated to this path and I have been implementing a 2x a day 20 minute mantra meditation. It's about the 6-7th consecutive day now, and I'm introducing 5 minutes of Pranayama now.
I just finished my last session of the day and about 17 minutes into my meditation, whilst repeating I am, I felt a sudden transcending from my body to a sensation that I cannot describe as anything but extreme paranoia or anxiety. I don't think the sensation itself was paranoia/anxiety, but my natural reaction was to instantaneously grasp/hold on, which negated the transcending and put me back into my head.
After this happened, during the last few minutes of meditation, my 'ego' or 'inner-voice' went ballistic. It was like I hit the peak of silence and then plummeted.
I did experience some sort of visualizations, not extremely apparent, but was more like a black cloth fluttering in front of my face, reflecting light between folds.
Can anyone give me insight on this? What happened? Is this normal?
I love this community thus far, I've read through some of these threads and I have found nothing but value.
-Ryan |
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Richard
United Kingdom
857 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2008 : 07:04:18 AM
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Hi Ryan welcome to the forum 
quote:
Recently I have become extremely interested in dedicated to this path and I have been implementing a 2x a day 20 minute mantra meditation. It's about the 6-7th consecutive day now, and I'm introducing 5 minutes of Pranayama now.
Sounds just about right to me.
quote:
I just finished my last session of the day and about 17 minutes into my meditation, whilst repeating I am, I felt a sudden transcending from my body to a sensation that I cannot describe as anything but extreme paranoia or anxiety. I don't think the sensation itself was paranoia/anxiety, but my natural reaction was to instantaneously grasp/hold on, which negated the transcending and put me back into my head.
After this happened, during the last few minutes of meditation, my 'ego' or 'inner-voice' went ballistic. It was like I hit the peak of silence and then plummeted.
All these experiences are just symptoms of purification in the nervous system see here nothing to worry about at all and quite normal they come in phases and will all pass in time only to be replaced by new ones .
Don't fight it just be with these feelings for a few seconds and then come gently back to the mantra
quote:
I did experience some sort of visualizations, not extremely apparent, but was more like a black cloth fluttering in front of my face, reflecting light between folds.
As with the physical experiences just look briefly and then come back to the mantra in AYP we try not to get too distracted by any visual experiences.
You seem to be moving forward very fast its great to have enthusiasm like this but please don't run ahead of yourself follow the lessons step by step and add practices slowly and not until the ones you are doing are well established. Above all don't forget to self pace see this FAQ Self-pacing any problems just ask thats what we are all here for.
You are doing great!!!
Hope this is of help to you.
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Edited by - Richard on May 14 2008 07:38:14 AM |
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UniversalMind
United Kingdom
28 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2008 : 08:08:03 AM
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I agree with Richard, i think it's all purification and it's quite strong because you haven't been practicing for too long. The anxiety was probably present because you haven't had these experiences before and basically you got a fright! I had a few weird experiences when i was starting out but believe me Razza you will get used to them no problem. Just remember this is scenery and not the goal of the meditation and everything will be fine.
Good luck on your path! |
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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2008 : 12:13:15 PM
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Dear Ryan,
In readin the responses above I hope you don't think people are taking your situation too lightly. This symptom can be quite disconcerting to the person it is happening to. I remember when I went to a retreat (not AYP) a few years ago, on about the 7th day I had a sudden an inexplicable fear of going back to my room and being alone in the dark. I had previously always enjoyed solitude and was never afraid of the dark before, even as a child. I had a lot of energies running through my body and it took me a long time to get a handle on this experience. Fear can propogate itself making things seems quite awful. These feelings lingered for weeks after. The leader of the retreat was not skillful and had a tendency to talk to me in a way that made me feel unsafe so I couldn't go to her for help. I was on my own and had to do a lot of grounding. In the end I processed a lot of old junk and it all seems like a big boogey man to me now but at the time I was miserable.
I agree with Richard that this is "normal" and also that you should self pace, seeing as you are having these symptoms after such a short time of practice. Many of us have learned first hand how powerful this AYP can be and have had to pull back on the reigns big time. 
The visions are normal too. It is the concensus of many to ignore these and I agree you shouldn't dwell on them but I am of the school that these sights and sounds can contain some valuable lessons.
"A second intelligence has always dwelt within your internal awareness. Previously a silent partner. Now it wants dialogue with you, again. It holds you in very high esteem." From Lay Gnosis.
Write me off list if you like.
Best to you,
Jill |
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Razza
7 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2008 : 1:22:38 PM
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Thank you all for such hasty and helpful replies! :D
It's comforting to know that this was just part of the process. I understand why so many of you are forewarning me about self-pacing. When I first discovered meditation and was unaware of the 'purification' process, I had a terrible experience. It was winter vacation and I had decided to dedicate most of the weekend to my new spiritual practices because I thought the more time I had the more progress I'd make. I ended up reading the entire book "I am THAT" by Sri Nissargadatta and meditating for sometimes more than 3 hours a day. By the third day I experienced such an overload of energy and I had no idea what it was. Constant headaches, the world around me was flashing. I couldn't think straight. Felt intensely ill.
The experience was bad enough to never again do something so relentlessly. I am taking self-pacing pretty damn seriously now :)
I can't wait till I experience gains in my every day life.
Thank you all again.
-Ryan |
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Sudden overwhelming sensation
