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tadeas
Czech Republic
314 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 15 2008 : 08:27:27 AM
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About a year ago, after reading Yogani's tantra book, I decided to make some changes in my sexuality.
Perhaps this could be of some use to someone at some point :) or it's just for the record.
The progression
The first thing was to learn blocking (perrineum press), thus separating orgasm from ejaculation. After a short time I moved on to blocking simply by contracting the appropriate muscles in the pelvis. This is a stage when energy is still lost, but it allows one to get used to the absence of physical ejaculation. It is also called "retrograde ejaculation", because the ejaculate goes to the bladder and then out during urination.
The "blocking" stage went on for a few months. In the summer, I travelled for about 6 weeks and during that time, there was no sexual stimulation whatsoever. It was a good experience, and also the longest time without orgasm since the onset of puberty.
After that, the "blocking stage" continued. It makes much longer sexual sessions possible and this allows for a good exploration of the mechanics of orgasm and of sexual stimulation. It teaches one to relax into the state. It teaches the so called "peaking". It teaches one to accept his/her sexual drive and also to witness it. By this time it's become obvious that going for blocked orgasm (retrogade ejaculation) is not the way to further develop.
So I started experimenting with prolonging the time between individual orgasms. I learned how to really conserve the energy, how to end a session without orgasm. During this time orgasms usually happened "accidentally" - I didn't intend to have them, but usually went too close to the edge. The intervals between orgasms were getting longer and longer (weeks).
Sometime in January I decided to try to go completely preorgasmic... not even go close to the edge. This has been pretty successful so far - about 11 weeks without orgasm or ejaculation, only shorter tantric session here and there.
Some notes
During all this time (past one year) I had two night pollutions (ejaculations while asleep), one of them a short time ago, which interrupted the successful +-11 week preorgasmic period :)
More on the night pollutions. It's always been a signal for me that it's boiling over in the unconsciouss, that I am suppresing something. What I did after that was to always completely honestly and openly try to acknowledge all the hidden drives and impulses, to visualise them and to accept them, to witness them and let them go... let them dissolve in the silence. It has always helped clear things up. The night pollutions are a signal that something in the sexuality has not been directly faced, that there's some suppression. The only advice is to be honest with oneself, to witness one's drives, but NOT act on them. This is a way to "rewire" the nervous system.
All this wouldn't have been possible without quite a lot of pranayama - redirecting the energy upwards. This made it possible to conserve energy quite easily and in turn enhanced pranayama very much.
Once you redirect the energy upward and don't bring it down to the sexual organs with any stimulation, it's pretty easy to stay preorgasmic for long periods of time. I've found that too much "raw sexuality" (e.g. porn) is not beneficial. It makes you focus too much on the genitals, therefore bringing the energy there, which makes it harder to stay in front of the orgasm. So don't watch porn, instead find yourself someone to cuddle with :)
I've found after the last ejaculation, that my energy levels didn't even decrease (I didn't feel the decrease - in pranayama or samyama). That's probably because a lot of energy has been accumulated (I'm 20, that might be it.)
Conserving the energy is really worth the effort. It brings a lot of ecstasy to pranayama and to the body in general. I've never thought how "alive" the nerves could be :)
The best part is when the energy goes to the chest and heart :) it's really like a constant coming, or opening, or release. I now understand what Milarepa once said when they asked him if he'd had sex. He responded he has it 24 hours a day :)
Overall, the most important thing is to relax, acknowledge the drives/longing, to just be with one's sexuality. This preorgasmic living really brings inner stability and peace. For males, it certainly changes attitude towards women, because they're no longer needed to satisfy male sexuality... all because there's unity in oneself... And it brings more love to everyone :)
Enjoy :) |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - Apr 15 2008 : 10:49:37 AM
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| Thanks Tadeas :-) |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Apr 15 2008 : 3:11:31 PM
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What a lovely post, tadeas! This made my heart melt:
quote:
For males, it certainly changes attitude towards women, because they're no longer needed to satisfy male sexuality
And I remember a guy I met who explained that what you explain here:
quote:
What I did after that was to always completely honestly and openly try to acknowledge all the hidden drives and impulses, to visualise them and to accept them, to witness them and let them go... let them dissolve in the silence. It has always helped clear things up. The night pollutions are a signal that something in the sexuality has not been directly faced, that there's some suppression. The only advice is to be honest with oneself, to witness one's drives, but NOT act on them.
is exactly what he did when he saw a beautiful woman on the street or elsewhere. He was totally honest with himself, acknowledged the impulse to indulge and gaze at her, and released that desire in stillness, and did not further act on it - thus, did not gaze. He said it kept him very stable in silence. And I can only say... I totally melted in his presence! A kind of man I would be able to just die for... and... when we parted... I didn't even think of him further - no dreams, no hopes to meet again, no wonderings if he liked me or not, nothing! Our meeting was, then it was not. I felt very happy when we said goodbye. Very pure man, indeed! 
Sounds great that you've found that way of handling sexual supressions! |
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going preorgasmic - some notes
