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Anthem

1608 Posts

Posted - Aug 09 2008 :  5:51:18 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Tibetan_Ice
Hi Anthem
Thank you for your comments.
What I have read is that in order to realize the GOD within you, you have to drop everything; you must quit striving, you must not use your will, you have to totally surrender everthing and just let GOD be. In effect, you have to die (no mind, no will, no heart beat). That is what I'm refering to. I suppose you could call that a practice, but if you are dead, then there is no practitioner, therefore there is no practice.


Yes, quit striving for the fruits of labour, the glory from attainment, stop taking the highs and lows from the world of duality yes, but I never heard of Jesus just sitting there not doing anything. You surrender to what Is (God) and That expresses itself spontaneously from within your body/ mind without attachment to what occurs. The natural flow of life (God) moves through you and acts unimpeded in the world. The imaginary "I" stays out of the equation, "I" exists within, but is just another passing thought not to be attached to and not to be confused with the moving flow of life itself.

quote:
If you don't mind me asking, are you enlightened? Have you experienced the higher levels of samadhi? What makes you believe that you are progressing? What indicators do you have? Have you ever seen a nimitta? Have you ever merged with one or exploded it?


TI


No not enlightened, still lot's of work to be done here. As for higher levels of samadhi, I have never been into labeling subjective experiences, I couldn't even begin to tell you what samadhi is exactly, as I've seen it used to describe countless meditative experiences. Any sense of "I" having attained can only lead to suffering, who wants that?

Progress becomes self-evident as we look back and observe our changing perspectives. I recently made a list of the changing perspectives here:

http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....ID=4197#4197

It's really a meaningless list, there is no happiness in a list or any ideas of attainment. To flow as what Is, from the silent depths of heart, a wish...

I'm personally interested in improving the quality of my life and the level of happiness and emotional ease I feel each day. Lights or colors here and there in meditation or other such experiences don't satisfy me or interest me much, I'm interested in liberating myself from suffering, being One with the divine, all else pails in comparison.

If you enjoy exploring the many, many experiences that come up, power to you, have a party!

All the best,

A




Edited by - Anthem on Aug 09 2008 5:55:49 PM
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Christi

United Kingdom
4514 Posts

Posted - Aug 13 2008 :  08:48:50 AM  Show Profile  Visit Christi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi TI,

Thanks for your very interesting writings about your meditation experiences! I have been following with much interest. (And thanks Yogani, Dave and Anthem for your very interesting perspectives). I thought I would chime in as well as you are also using tools from one of my primary practices- Buddhism.

Jesus appeared before me once as well. I found myself at his feet on my hands and knees. I could not even raise my head, but I looked up at him with my inner eye and I saw a huge figure radiating white light. Love flowed from him like a great river and flowed over my back holding me to the floor. I could have touched his feet, but the power of the love pouring down on me was too strong and I could not move. The love flowing was golden and he wore a purple robe. The only other colour around him was silver. Then he vanished.

On the subject of the Buddha and nimittas... Nimitta is a Pali word meaning "sign" or "characteristic". The Buddhists describe 8 stages of Samadhi and the nimittas are the characteristics which accompany each different stage of Samadhi (jhana). The most common nimittas are joy, peace, bliss, freedom, absence of physical pain, absence of mental pain, great bliss etc. Visions such as suns and moons are also nimittas, as are smells, sounds etc. The Buddha did teach about the different Samadhi states, and about the nimittas. He did not say that the spiritual practitioner needs to make a moon appear, and then make it explode in order to attain enlightenment. If only it were that easy.

What the Buddha did say about the Jhanas (samadhis) and the nimittas is very interesting. He basically said two things on the subject. The first is that he once said that his monks should learn to dwell in all the various levels of mental absorption (Samadhi) and to be able to move freely between these states, so that they can see that no state of consciousness is nirvana.
The second thing he said is that a monk who resides often in Samadhi will gradually incline towards enlightenment (just as the Ganges naturally inclines towards the ocean).

If I were you I would think of enlightenment as a permanent state of bliss (satchitananda) arrived at through inner silence, combined with a permanent state of ecstatic love (Divine love) arrived at primarily through the gradual purification of your whole being. Peace, stillness, silence, love, joy... these should be your code words, and also your measure of success in your rising enlightenment.
It is not something that will happen in some dramatic "event" or "explosion". It is something that will gradually arise when all striving for attainments has ended.

And then love will pour from you like a river of grace.

Christi
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neli

USA
283 Posts

Posted - Aug 15 2008 :  06:11:40 AM  Show Profile  Visit neli's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply


Hi Christi,

I have also seen the nimittas, and they are *lights* as far as I know,
different kind of lights, small, big, and of different colours.
take a look at this link and see where it talks about the jhanas, it describes the nimittas
http://www.greatwesternvehicle.org/pali/index.htm

What I know is that the smell, noise or other blissful effects are pitti-sukha.

Once I saw Abraham and he was surrounded by light,a very bright light, kind of a big nimitta, very similar to the light that surrounded Jesus. So if they are surrounded by light, it can be that the nimittas are more than an "effect" of Jhanas or Shakti, maybe its something that we don't understand.

Jhanas is very different to the Shakti path, but is a totally harmless meditation, and with Shakti one must be prudent. It can be dangerous also.

The good thing is that the path of Shakti is very fast, compared to Jhanas.

I've been years in Jhanas, and in my opinion, can be a good complement to the K energy.

Both of them are ecstasy's manifestations.

Sat Nam
Neli







quote:
Originally posted by Christi

Hi TI,

Thanks for your very interesting writings about your meditation experiences! I have been following with much interest. (And thanks Yogani, Dave and Anthem for your very interesting perspectives). I thought I would chime in as well as you are also using tools from one of my primary practices- Buddhism.

Jesus appeared before me once as well. I found myself at his feet on my hands and knees. I could not even raise my head, but I looked up at him with my inner eye and I saw a huge figure radiating white light. Love flowed from him like a great river and flowed over my back holding me to the floor. I could have touched his feet, but the power of the love pouring down on me was too strong and I could not move. The love flowing was golden and he wore a purple robe. The only other colour around him was silver. Then he vanished.

On the subject of the Buddha and nimittas... Nimitta is a Pali word meaning "sign" or "characteristic". The Buddhists describe 8 stages of Samadhi and the nimittas are the characteristics which accompany each different stage of Samadhi (jhana). The most common nimittas are joy, peace, bliss, freedom, absence of physical pain, absence of mental pain, great bliss etc. Visions such as suns and moons are also nimittas, as are smells, sounds etc. The Buddha did teach about the different Samadhi states, and about the nimittas. He did not say that the spiritual practitioner needs to make a moon appear, and then make it explode in order to attain enlightenment. If only it were that easy.

What the Buddha did say about the Jhanas (samadhis) and the nimittas is very interesting. He basically said two things on the subject. The first is that he once said that his monks should learn to dwell in all the various levels of mental absorption (Samadhi) and to be able to move freely between these states, so that they can see that no state of consciousness is nirvana.
The second thing he said is that a monk who resides often in Samadhi will gradually incline towards enlightenment (just as the Ganges naturally inclines towards the ocean).

If I were you I would think of enlightenment as a permanent state of bliss (satchitananda) arrived at through inner silence, combined with a permanent state of ecstatic love (Divine love) arrived at primarily through the gradual purification of your whole being. Peace, stillness, silence, love, joy... these should be your code words, and also your measure of success in your rising enlightenment.
It is not something that will happen in some dramatic "event" or "explosion". It is something that will gradually arise when all striving for attainments has ended.

And then love will pour from you like a river of grace.

Christi


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gumpi

United Kingdom
546 Posts

Posted - Aug 15 2008 :  07:59:25 AM  Show Profile  Visit gumpi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Neli,

Are you involved with the light and sound movements? I have a couple of books by Maharaj Charan Singh and he says they don't deal with kundalini. I wondered what you thought about that?
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neli

USA
283 Posts

Posted - Aug 16 2008 :  07:58:11 AM  Show Profile  Visit neli's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply

Gumpi,

I'm involved with light, but not all the time, only when it comes, cause this is a factor number one to attain the first non-material states of Jhanas or in another words, more near to samadhi.
At the beginning I heard many noises, not now, I can even been beside a strong music while in meditation and I don't hear anything, I mean I lost my sense of hearing while in meditation, but this is not always.
Kundalini symptoms can be very strange, and noises as well, are symptoms of kundalini's flow, also lights. But lights are more frequent in Jhanas. But I have met people of the kundalini meditation that at the beginning they heard many strange noises, and saw lights, and beings, and many things. I knew one person that she could heard in her head the conversation of 2 persons of the tenth floor, while she was in the second, it happened for months, till she surrendered to the K energy, then it faded away, and this was when she began with the K meditations. I think each guru or teacher thinks different things about the K energy, but in reality there's too much to learn.
Also the lights are not only a Jhanas phenomenon, as I have met really good *mediums* that produces sound and light effects, without any meditation.
Shamans are also in an ecstatic trance, and they don't practice meditation.
I think also that Jhanas is very similar to the shaman's state of trance.
I think all paths are mean to attain the same point.
But I'm just a beginner in the K path, have had symptoms before, not now. Thanks to the Jhanas the symptoms were very smooth.
But in Jhanas I have never felt any symptom but pure and delightful ecstasies. I'm beginning to feel ecstasies also with Shakti, and its woderful, cause the K path, is a fast path to enlightenment(IMHO) and Jhanas is a very slow path, but harmless.
I have heard many false gurus that says that if you don't eat watermelon twice a day, you can feel so bad (in the K path)or when you are in the K path you are being "watched" and "punished" if you are not to accomplish what the guru says, I mean these are the *false gurus*. My sister went to the hospital with a panick attack cause she forgot to eat *watermelon*. So one must be very careful with what a guru states as a true. When I asked the *watermelon* guru why he had made that statements that inflicted fear to the beginners, all his flock of people turned against me, and he made me a veiled threaten that Kali was there to punish, so you can see, there's many loco gurus out there. And thanks to him, my sister hates now the K path, and I can't convince her, that she was with a loco man, she is now brutally afraid of the Kundalini path, just for a selfish and false statement of a false guru. I read many books about many things, but I listen first to my own guru that is in myself.
The ego is so big, that I don't think that this false guru that frightened my sister is aware of the damage that he has made upon my sister, not only splitting us as sisters, but frightened her for a life. But he lives in total adoration of her muses (flock)and they can be very aggressive if "their God" is being confronted.

Neli

quote:
Originally posted by gumpi

Neli,

Are you involved with the light and sound movements? I have a couple of books by Maharaj Charan Singh and he says they don't deal with kundalini. I wondered what you thought about that?

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OneMoreChakra

USA
5 Posts

Posted - Aug 25 2008 :  1:05:24 PM  Show Profile  Visit OneMoreChakra's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Tibetan_Ice

quote:
Originally posted by Suryakant
If God and Guru want siddhis to manifest through me, they will.



Hi Suryakant
Please do not take this comment the wrong way. I am not trying to offend you. I appreciate your correspondence and help and I admire your praise and devotion to God in the highest.

The little tiny thing I'm confused about is this: Are we not all part of God? Correct me if I am wrong but your statement makes it sound like God is separate from you.
TI



Dear TI,

Glad you made it through the Bhut Shuddhis... many people don't keep that commitment. Welcome and Sita Ram, from a longtime disciple.

If I may gently offer two corrections and a point of information:
1. When a mantra is given to a disciple by a Guru, it is not supposed to be disseminated by the disciple. This especially applies to the Ram mantra in our lineage. It's a beautiful mantra, but we generally don't lower it to the level of a 'tagline'. As you continue your practice, I think you'll discover what I mean and why I offer that to you.

2. Anandi Ma doesn't offer a "course" in Astral Travel. It's one of the teachings in the Vajra Panjar retreat series. Now that you've had Shaktipat, I highly recommend taking the VP series... the teachings will blow you away.

Point of Info: Dhyanyogi-ji made a sankalpa many years ago, that his disciples would not receive the distraction of siddhis until we had reached the goal of realization. That's probably why Suryakant and I (and most disciples of Dhyanyogiji and Ma) don't bother going for them. I know that if the Guru wants to spare me the distractions of power, who am I to argue?

OMC
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VIL

USA
586 Posts

Posted - Sep 06 2008 :  1:42:37 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I remember that you mentioned a while back that you saw a vision of a little boy, TI, and I wanted to ask if the little boy first floated above and looked at (a sort of partition or top bunk? and then down, again, and smiled at you before you said, "who are you" and the boy smiled and said, "I don't know". Wasn't there something above your bed at the time like a top bunk or a shelf of sorts or partition? There was definitely something above your bed, right? I'll explain after I hear from you.

Namaste:



VIL
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mohanp71

Malaysia
4 Posts

Posted - Jun 03 2009 :  04:01:23 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
HI All,

Cany anyone provide me with the Bhuta Shuddhi mantra. You can email me at mohanp71@yahoo.com

Regards,

Mohan
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Tibetan_Ice

Canada
758 Posts

Posted - Jun 26 2009 :  9:43:50 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by mohanp71

HI All,

Cany anyone provide me with the Bhuta Shuddhi mantra. You can email me at mohanp71@yahoo.com

Regards,

Mohan



Hi,
If you would like the Bhuta Shuddhi mantra, why not take shaktipat in absentia from Sri Anandi Ma? It will cost you min $250.00 donation and will test your dedication. But you will also receive a CD so you get the correct pronounciation. Here is the link: www.dyc.org
OM SHANTI
TI
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ThisIsTruth

41 Posts

Posted - Jul 06 2009 :  3:28:55 PM  Show Profile  Visit ThisIsTruth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Anthem11 said:
"but I never heard of Jesus just sitting there not doing
anything."



Hi, Anthem11,

This is the question - "Action without action" ("to be or not to be").

Jesus is the God Love. He is the LoveOfGod. He is the realised God
Love at the Earth planet. He is the Sun/sun. He just sit there/here
not doing everything/anything.

This is the Love - she just sit there/here not doing everything/anything & because of that - we feel that the Love do everything/anything.

But this is the question that you can ask Yogani - where is
the Dother/dother, pls? Ask Yogany - I mean that he will answer to
your question too.
Edited by - ThisIsTruth on Jul 06 2009 5:12:19 PM

Edited by - ThisIsTruth on Jul 06 2009 5:48:04 PM
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mohanp71

Malaysia
4 Posts

Posted - Jul 07 2009 :  8:26:58 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thx TI. I have signed up for the next shaktipat with Anandi Ma in July.

Regards,

Mohan



quote:
Originally posted by Tibetan_Ice

quote:
Originally posted by mohanp71

HI All,

Cany anyone provide me with the Bhuta Shuddhi mantra. You can email me at mohanp71@yahoo.com

Regards,

Mohan



Hi,
If you would like the Bhuta Shuddhi mantra, why not take shaktipat in absentia from Sri Anandi Ma? It will cost you min $250.00 donation and will test your dedication. But you will also receive a CD so you get the correct pronounciation. Here is the link: www.dyc.org
OM SHANTI
TI

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Tibetan_Ice

Canada
758 Posts

Posted - Sep 30 2009 :  12:42:49 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi,
This is an update.

I quit the bhuta shuddhi mantra back in August. I do believe that Sri Anandi Ma's lessons and teachings are of great value. I've learned a lot and had some great experiences. Just had to take a break.

I've also quit mantra repetition, and all ayp practices for now.

I'm focussing solely on "feeling the inner body" as per Eckhart Tolle. Why? Read on.

About 4 weeks ago I was listening to "Practising The Power Of Now" by ET parked on the hill where I go to hear the silence. ET was explaining about how "feeling the inner body" is a gateway to presence. Basically, you feel the life force in your right hand, then your left, then both together, then your feet, legs until you can feel the presence in your whole body as one field of energy. Well, when I did this, my perenium started to sensitize and pulse. The effect lasted for 30 or 40 minutes afterwards. This was very interesting to me.

I decided to try it again later and the same sensation occured. So, I started doing 35 minute sessions, twice a day, of "feeling the inner body". I treated it like a meditation. I would feel the inner life force and if my mind drifted away or produced distracting thoughts I would go back to feeling the inner life force. At that time I was also "just letting go" and really relaxing the body.

This produced some startling results. During one meditation, my perenium throbbed and released waves of ecstatic bliss up my spine. I could see large concentric circles progressing upwards like a water spout. It was a blissful event! And, the length of the sensation that I was about to orgasm after the meditation was increasing in duration; sometimes it would last three or four hours, or reappear later during the day when I was relaxing. It actually had me worried for a while. I thought there was something wrong with that part of the anatomy.. :) Now I know that it is the rising of the kundalini, ecstatic bliss, shakti love, thanks to some replies to my posts on this forum. (I really appreciate the feedback).

Last night, I had the most wonderful experience. I'm still trying to get over it. The day was kind of funny. I had not felt much ecstatic bliss or perenium throb and was mulling over the idea that mantra repetition and focussing on the light might be activating the kundalini in the perenium. I wanted to review the Echart Tolle blurb where he describes the practice of watching one's thoughts to the point where the thought disolves, leaving a silent space. I knew it was on the "I AM" CD/mp3 but I just couldn't find it. It was after supper and I was planning on watching my thoughts for the night's meditation. But, I just couldn't find the part on my iPod to listen to again. I must have spent about an hour searching for it. Oh well...

So, I prepared for bed and then sat down for my evening meditation. When I sat down, I felt tired, so tired that I really didn't want to watch my thoughts. The "feeling the inner body" meditation is so nice and blissful. Time flies by so fast that it feels like you are in a time warp. I decided to do that instead. Except, this time, I decided not to try to let go or super relax, but instead, just feel the inner life force.

I started out with feeling the hands until they became clouds of magnetic energy like they usually do. Then I sensed my feet along with the hands and eventually felt the whole body. This time, however, when I felt the whole body, I felt a warm radiant heat throughout as one solid unit.

I was rather enjoying it when my mind kicked in and reminded me that I had thought of this wonderful saying. Here it is: "Sex without Love is like Life without God.".

At that point the tingles started. They coursed down my arms and legs. They circled round my torso and neck. They went through my entire body. (It is starting up again as I write this).. :) I'm not talking about slight shivers or tingles, I mean a solid stream of blissful tingles, overwhelming love, joy bliss permeating through all parts of my body. I thought to myself, yes, God is in my heart. My heart exploded with love for all creation. Tears were running down my cheeks. I was a bliss factory. A veritable ball of ecstacy. I noticed that my mind was still operating and making comments and I realized that the mind doesn't have to be still to experience this bliss.

This whole episode lasted for 35 minutes. At one point, it was so intense that parts of me (my right side) turned into what looked like a fine mist of tiny balls of white light. At that point I started to get scared and started to try to shut it all down. After a few minutes I got a hold of myself and sat there stupified and happy. Just let it flow. Don't be concerned. Hmmm. Big bliss. What an experience. :) :) :)

Went and had a cigarette. Sat in the dark. Went to bed. I was lying in bed and then the lights came. Lights like I've never seen before. I felt like the lights were alive, like they were beings from higher planes, watching me, inviting me out somewhere. I lay in bed, unable to sleep for at least two hours, contemplating the power of just doing nothing but feeling the inner body, the life force, the presence of God within me.

I watched the lights but didn't want to have any more experiences. I contemplated the fear that I had hit and the intensity of the whole experience. I thanked God for the wonderful experience. Eventually I fell asleep. Had to work the next day..

Today, I am fine. I've got quite a bit of ecstatic bliss running through my body and it feels like I'm about to orgasm, but I'm getting used to that. I know that all is well, I can feel it in my heart. :)

TI



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Christi

United Kingdom
4514 Posts

Posted - Sep 30 2009 :  6:24:39 PM  Show Profile  Visit Christi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi TI,

Great to hear that you have been having some good experiences with the Echart Tolle practices. Thanks for the update.

Christi
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Tibetan_Ice

Canada
758 Posts

Posted - Oct 02 2009 :  2:04:14 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi,
Well that was a pretty strange meditation..

This morning I decided to do the "Seeking the source" type of meditation. Basically I repeat the mantra subvocally, seek out where it is coming from and try to keep my awareness there. Then, I think the mantra without subvocalizing and keep my awareness there. Then, I intuit the mantra and focus my attention there. (The "intuiting the mantra" comes from a 'higher' location, almost like it is coming from about 2 inches above my head towards the back). At this point the star of light appears and the mantra seems to be coming from it.

This time I got a bit creative. I went a few steps further. I tried to feel what was triggering the initiation of producing the mantra. That is, try focusing on whatever it was that was going to create the next intention of producing the mantra. After remaining at that point for a few minutes, I could see the light, see the mantra being created as it progressed into coarser and coarser levels of manifestation and followed it as it became audible and clear.

Then, I backed off completely, remembering the word "effortless". There is a type of consciousness which is in between the outer body and the inner body. It is like your normal everyday consciousness, the one that you are in when you are doing nothing in particular, with your attention just flitting about. I started intending the mantra from there. Effortlessly, quickly, one short intention and then wait and watch.

Well what appeared was very interesting! The mantra is still coming from the light but there is this clear transparent watery-like window or film that it hits on it's way to you, the witness. When it hits the window, the window begins to ripple and holds the mantra and the vision of the light for a few seconds (6 or 7), like a drop of water hitting a clear pond of water. After a while the disturbance or ripples dissipate and you can no longer see the window because it is still once again.

The window is vertical. I don't know how big it is nor do I know whether or not it envelopes the witness or the light.
It is as if there is this force field between you and the light and you can't see that barrier until it grabs something like the mantra, and then starts to oscilate/vibrate. If I had to guess, I would say that consciousness is like a vertical pool of water or force field that vibrates and reflects the thoughts that pass through it.

I wonder if that is the clear light of awareness... Hmmm..

:)
TI

**Please note: The practices that I am writing about are not standard AYP practices.

Edited by - Tibetan_Ice on Oct 02 2009 2:53:29 PM
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Tibetan_Ice

Canada
758 Posts

Posted - Oct 06 2009 :  10:36:44 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi,
Garlic?
Two nights ago on Sunday I had a bout of ecstatic bliss arising from my perineum which lasted over 5 hours. It started after supper. I finally had to take a long hot bath and that cooled it down for the rest of the night. It was a mixture of pleasure, tenseness like wanting to crawl the walls and warmth which felt like a layer of gentle heat around the body about 1 inch thick (like I was wearing a think body sweater). This was accompanied by very fine tingles throughout the whole body and waves of pulses going to my head. Also, the left side of my body was cold and the right side was hot. I kept getting up and walking around the house in hopes of some kind of release.

This was a very intense episode and I'm trying to figure out what may have caused it. That day I had done two meditations, both were the "Sensing the inner body" and they both lasted around 50 minutes. I can't help the time. When I do this meditation, it feels so good, I become a cloud of feel good bliss magnetism and I lose all track of time. Even though the alarm goes off, I love it so much I have to make a real effort to pull out of it. Time literally flies by.

It was nothing I couldn't handle... and although I know about the value of self pacing, I've done many 2 hours-per-day of that meditation before, so it's either cumulative or there are other factors which may be at play.

I had also done 35 minutes of "seeking the source of the mantra". I noticed that when I hit certain spots in my head or I should say points or seconds where there are no thoughts, my perineum starts pulsing with intense pleasure. It also pulses when I focus on the light, listen quite intently or have a satori moment staring down a beautiful path in a forest or a particularily long road; I can see my awareness come streaming out like a clear stream of effervescent water and then the scene becomes cystal clear and much brighter/magical.

The other factor is this: I had heard that eating garlic goes into the body and produces vital sexual fluids. That day for supper I ate 5 cloves of steamed garlic. I wonder if garlic really does replenish your sexual energies or maybe stimulates them or aggrevates them. Anyone here have any experience with kundalini energy flows and eating garlic?


Mantra repetition and heat
Today, I missed my morning meditation because of meetings. At the time when I usually meditate, while sitting in a meeting, I noticed that I had a stream of heat coming from my navel progressing upwards. Then I remembered that I had learnt/realized that subvocalizing causes chi/prana/heat to be released from my navel area. So, I sat in the meeting and stretched out the mantra in my head a few times. My face became hot.

For the afternoon meditation, I decided to try the AYAM meditation like I used to do it. I would stretch out the mantra and make one repetition last 15 to 20 seconds. (I used to do that because it was way easier to focus continually on the mantra like that.) Well, I went through the typical dream/vision phase, saw lights etc and my face got hot. Now I remember! That is why my face and hands used to get so hot! Subvocalizing the mantra and stretching it out causes prana/chi to be released from the navel into where you are focusing. I realize now that this is incorrect practice according to the AYP lessons. I can't believe I spent almost two years meditating like that. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel differently about it. :) Right now, my face is burning (and the perineum is buzzing). I think I've been pooling chi into my face and head. Yikes..

Incidentally, it wasn't until I heard about 'refining the mantra' as in TM (transcendental meditation) that I started performing very short little 'ayam's', and then seeking the source of those. So maybe I'm slower than most in some aspects.. :) Wildebeest!

Looney tunes
I seem to be in a talkative mood. Living alone has it's moments..

I discovered a 2 inch wide channel from the heart to the third eye. A few weeks ago, I did a some meditations while focusing on the area 1 inch behind the brow and goes outwards at about a 45 degree angle. That same area is the location where, if you roll your eyes upwards and consciously try to fall asleep, you will feel swirls, see a kind of hole and a tunnel opens up.

So, one day I was standing on the curb having a smoke (we have to smoke outside at work), and I focused on that area. I closed my eyes and started thinking that a person whom I wished to see was walking down the sidewalk. I remained 'in there' for a few seconds, imagine talking to them etc. When I opened my eyes, that person was indeed walking down the sidewalk towards me and then stopped to talk to me!

Similar kinds of events have happened to me now, seven times. I will think of something in that region in my brow (it's about 1 inch inside the head behind the eye brows and it opens up and becomes a tunnel from the heart to 'out there') and immediately after, the event happens. Or, a few times, an hour or so later. I'm hoping that this is some kind of enhanced intuition and not me that is creating the events.. That is one of the reasons why I've quit focusing on that channel from my heart to the upper brow. I didn't want to talk about it before because I thought maybe I was going looney or something.. :)

Enlightenment
I'm so glad that Christi quoted one of Yogani's explanations of what enlightenment is. He said:

quote:
The first, and most important sign of rising enlightenment, is the emergence of inner silence -- an unshakable blissful inner awareness -- eternal peace taking up residence in our nervous system.


The reason I'm so happy about this is because the "Sensing the inner body" gateway to now/presence, as described by Eckhart Tolle, is, in my mind, focusing on or 'feeling' the "blissful inner awareness" directly. After a while, you get better at it and do realize that there is this layer of bliss in your body!

Not only do I think that sensing the inner body is what caused my perineum to come alive (although I guess it could be a cumulative effect from 2 years of practice and perhaps sensing the inner body just made me aware of it??), but I keep thinking about other references to similar meditations, like the buddhist "completely relax and do nothing", or the buddhist technique of "imagining a hollow body" or "fill your body with light". Incidentally, the hollow body meditation (just what it sounds to be) is supposed to help balance out your energies and cure just about any pranic distress. So I really believe that sensing the inner body, becoming one big cloud of magnetic bliss is good for you!


Thanks for listening. If you decide to try eating garlic to see if it enhances your sexual energies, please let me know what your verdict is. :)

:)
TI

Please note: I write about many things. If you don't find what I've written about in the AYP lessons, then it is not an AYP practice.
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Christi

United Kingdom
4514 Posts

Posted - Oct 07 2009 :  07:36:05 AM  Show Profile  Visit Christi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi TI,

quote:
I'm so glad that Christi quoted one of Yogani's explanations of what enlightenment is. He said:


quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The first, and most important sign of rising enlightenment, is the emergence of inner silence -- an unshakable blissful inner awareness -- eternal peace taking up residence in our nervous system.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



The reason I'm so happy about this is because the "Sensing the inner body" gateway to now/presence, as described by Eckhart Tolle, is, in my mind, focusing on or 'feeling' the "blissful inner awareness" directly. After a while, you get better at it and do realize that there is this layer of bliss in your body!


In AYP, the feelings that arise in the body as kundalini becomes refined are called ecstasy. Bliss is experienced as silence expands into peace, and from there to bliss. So both bliss and ecstasy can be present at the same time.

You may find this lesson interesting:

Bliss, ecstasy and divine love

The "sensing the body" practice from Tolle is a classic Buddhist practice and it can have a powerful effect on the kundalini as you are discovering. Good to pace it if you can. As Yogani says, sometimes less can be more.

Christi
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Tibetan_Ice

Canada
758 Posts

Posted - Oct 20 2009 :  12:39:47 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi :)
Well tonight I'm crawling the walls again.
It started getting more intense at about 4:30 pm this afternoon and has been getting more and more intense. It's 10:30 pm now.

I have been doing 35 minutes of "sensing the inner body" and just letting go twice a day for a while now.

Usually, I get perineum sensitivity, some rushes, tingles a few times a day and that last for an hour or two, but tonight it seems to have gone wild. It is so intense it almost hurts. If I stand up and walk around I'm engulfed in waves of tingles and goosebumps. When I sit, the ecstatic "ache" spreads down to my thighs and up to my navel. My navel (lower tan tien) is electric and almost hot. Most of my body feels like a fine electric current. If I grab my crotch area and put pressure on my perineum, it feels like I am having an extended orgasm. There are waves of heat coming up the front of my body, tingling in my hands and I feel very tense... crawling the walls..

During this afternoon's meditation (STIB), it did not help that I did not focus my gaze on my third eye (sambhavi), I still saw visions/pictures/scenes anyway. And who is this bald guy with thick black glasses who keeps appearing?

I also noticed that if I pause my breath right at the bottom of my exhale, the intensity increases tremendously. Something about being breathless at the bottom of the exhale, even for a few seconds that exacerbates the phenomenon.

This is not blissful. Ecstatic, yes, fun? no. Now I wonder what I got myself into..

I know, self pace and start up spinal breathing again. Please don't remind me.

TI

Edited by - Tibetan_Ice on Oct 20 2009 06:11:32 AM
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Tibetan_Ice

Canada
758 Posts

Posted - Oct 24 2009 :  4:16:23 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Everyone :)
where am I at now?
I'm still practising just letting go, sensing the inner body, letting go of the head and all control, just becoming the watcher. I'm still seeing nimittas. The one I saw during yesterday's meditation was a brilliant white, brighter than an arc welder's torch. It only lasted for a second. Caught me off guard and I became too excited.

I also bought and started reading Osho's "The Book of Secrets" because I'm very interested in what Osho has to say about "4. Or, when breath is all out (up) and stopped of itself, or all in (down) and stopped—in such universal pause, one's small self vanishes. This is difficult only for the impure." from Yogani's link here from Lesson 136:
http://www.aypsite.org/136.html

I'm interested in this because it is at the bottom of the exhale that I push forward and really relax and let go, and it is at that bottom where the nimittas and perineum pulse occur.. Comment: Reading Osho is like eating from a snack tray and forgetting to take the toothpicks out of the food. :)



My First Group Meditation
I had my first group meditation in my life on Thursday night. :)

There were three of us. The meditation lasted for 30 minutes.

After the inital greetings, the three of us chose our seating positions and the meditation commenced. Person 1 was seated on the floor on what appeared to be a sheep/fur rug. Person 2 was seated on the couch. I sat on the dog blanket on the floor with my back resting on the wall. We were each about 7 feet apart, facing the center, forming a triangle, so to speak.

The meditation commenced. Person 1 performed very powerful Spinal Breathing for about 10 minutes. I performed 2 minutes of Bhastrika, then 5 minutes of gentle Spinal Breathing. Person 2 was inaudible so I could not tell if he was performing any breathing routines.

When I first sat down, in unfamiliar surroundings, with two almost complete strangers, my first instincts were to suss them out, to take a reading and see what I could sense from them. When I "sensed" Person 1, I became aware of a kaleidoscope of colors and patterns, like someone had taken crayons and drawn intricate shapes and patterns at random all over his aura. It reminded me of a Hawaiian cocktail that I can describe of massive very colourful cartoons superimposed over each other. When I "sensed" Person 2, I could see nothing. Nada. There was a black veil or something that he was enveloped in that my sensing could not penetrate.

After a few minutes, Person 1 had transformed into a black nothingness that I could not penetrate. I felt comfortable and secure so I decided to do my meditation. I focused on my breathing routines and then, proceeded to let go, relax deeply, and sense my inner body.

After about 2 minutes into the meditation, a brilliant white light star appeared in the center of us, about three feet above our heads. It was a brilliant radiant white star, with slight touches of pale blue. There were continuous brilliant lightning bolts running from each of our top-of-the-heads connecting to this star! Not so much bolts, but more like continuous currents like Tesla coils, or constant carbon arc surges. There was not one bolt from each of our heads but 7 or 8 smaller fillaments that comprised the whole beam.

At first I was surprised to see such a vision and, after examining it for a bit, decided to ignore it and return to my meditation. Although I tried to ignore it, the pyramidal light structure remained clearly visible. I ended up splitting my attention between letting go and just watching the light show in awe.

The bolts of lightening were not actually touching our heads, they were coming out from about 6 inches above the head. There didn't seem to be any direction from which the currents were emanating. Each bolt or strand of lightening was moving, sometimes fusing two or three bolts together, sometimes splitting into finer, smaller bolts.

The bolts and star at the very top were continuous and appeared all connected and fused together. The entire structure looked like the frame of an electric 3 sided pyramid with a star at the top.

Viewing this scene brought some questions to mind. The brilliance and colour of the star were of the same consistency as the star that I discovered by seeking the source of the top-of-the-head pulse mantra. Was it the same star, only now it assumed a central position between us three meditators? Did our stars merge together or is there only one star? Was it Christ Consciousness in action? What was this?

Now I'm very interested in the dynamics of group meditation because it looks to me that people connect or join together through this structure of white lightning bolts when they meditate.

:)
TI
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Tibetan_Ice

Canada
758 Posts

Posted - Nov 02 2009 :  2:07:02 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi :)
Be careful what you focus on

It was Sunday morning. I pulled into Tim Horton's and was sitting in the drive-through lineup. The lineup was progressing slowly.

I looked in the rear-view mirror at vehicle behind me and immediately my mind started producing all of these thoughts.

The person in the car first picked their nose. Disgusting, I thought. "He's a real winner"... "Look at how he is dressed" my mind thought... hip cap, mirror sunglasses, observing himself in the mirror, resting his head on the door-window.. Then he rubbed his face all over like he was tired. I thought to myself "He will probably fall asleep right there.. "

Then my other self kicked in and started. I observed the thoughts and thought to myself, these are thoughts, they are judgemental thoughts and they are just thoughts. I was having judgemental thoughts. They are not me, not part of me. I will focus on that last thought and dissolve it. So, I focused on that last thought while locating it around my third eye. I kept focusing on it.

Suddenly "BAM". My car lurched forward. I was shocked! He had rear-ended me. He had driven his car into the back of mine!

When I got out of my SUV and walked over to talk to him he said "Sorry Man, the brakes didn't work." His hood was all crunched up and pushed back. There was no visible damage on my SUV.

I think he fell asleep in the lineup. Do you think I caused it by focusing on that thought, trying to dissolve it?

I spent most of the day wondering about the power of the third eye coupled with active kundalini. I'm thinking I'm really going to have to watch what I think about.

:)
TI


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Tibetan_Ice

Canada
758 Posts

Posted - Nov 06 2009 :  11:37:21 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi,
Well, on November the first I decided to go back to a 'practices style' routine and did that twice a day until last night. (I missed the 'sensing the inner body' meditation but haven't had much luck sustaining the jhanas so I decided to take a break from it). Last night, for my evening meditation, and after reading yet another interpretation of Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, I decided to try a new kind of meditation.

This is what I did. You know that 'normal' kind of consciousness that you have everyday, where you look out from your eyes and see things? That 'normal' consciousness that when you think or feel 'I', it's right there. It's a very easy thing, there is no effort, it's just there all the time. Like going for coffee. Well, for my meditation, I just assumed that mentality, closed my eyes and did absolutely nothing. No letting go, no relaxing or anything. The only thing I did was to try to maintain that everyday state of consciousness. The whole meditation lasted 47 minutes.

This is what I noticed:

1) It became very silent and still. Some thoughts were happening behind in the background and they came and went. The silence was very nice, but it was not a 'lack of sound' type of silence. It was more like an alive presence that doesn't move at all. It felt like 'me' but a very large 'me'. The me that sees through my eyes. It was so nice! Every now and then a thought would drag me away, but I knew where to go back to so it wasn't any problem returning to this 'silent state of normal presence'. I also noticed that the dream state kicked in and then the 'dream thoughts' were also trying to drag me away. I maintained my attention not externally nor internally, but in that everyday consciousness right in your face or more in or through your eyes (if I can put it that way).

2) After about 30 minutes of keeping my normal consciousness going, I entered a very bliss-full state that resembled a fine whitish cloud. My perineum kicked in but the ecstasy went full body. I loved it. :) I didn't know that you could get into that state by just being in normal consciousness!

3) My hands, feet, brow, the whole body had become a cloud of magnetic energy similar to the feeling I get when I do the 'super relaxing letting go' meditations that I had been performing.

4) I had the feeling that I had found something very profound.

5) The intensity of the full-body bliss got to be very intense and I started to get antsy, overjoyed, anxious, tense, impatient... the pleasurable feelings were detracting from the sea of silence and I was pretty excited about what I had discovered.


I spent most of today going back to sensing that 'normal state of consciousness'. It is so great because it is always there and now I know where to find it. I can just flip it on or shift my perspective and it is there.

I've decided to do that type of meditation twice a day for 35 minutes as my regular practice.

During this afternoon's meditation, I did that 'normal consciousness' meditation for the second time today. It took a while before the thoughts calmed down and the dream visions quit flashing but I hit the silent presence again. I had some trouble because my eyes, which were focused straight ahead, kept moving for a while.. then I became rock solid. Stillness in action (except for gentle breathing and heartbeats).

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT KIND OF SURPRISED ME! I felt a sharp pin-prick like a mosquito was biting me on the top of my head. The pain lasted about 5 seconds. Then it went away. About 10 seconds later it happened again in exactly the same place and lasted about 3 seconds. Then it went away again. Twenty or so seconds later the sharp pain happened again. By this time I was thinking "oh oh, crown opening".

I couldn't really shut the meditation down because there was no meditation to shut down. So, I felt the top of my head with my hand. There was a lot of heat coming from that same place at the top of the head. I felt it with different parts of my hand and yes, a round area exactly in the centre of the head, about 1 1/2 inches in diameter was very hot. Then, I noticed that there was a greyish kind of funnel extending downwards for about 2 inches into the center of my head from the top hot part and it felt kind of numb and dead.

Since that meditation, at 5:00 pm tonight, the scalp at that area on the top of my head feels tickly and like it is swirling but I only notice it when I pay attention to it or when my mind drifts absentmindedly. There is a slight pressure but it isn't really a build-up kind of pressure.

Haven't explored it yet, I'm still observing the mind's comments about it. Can't decide if I should be happy or scared or indifferent. Detachment has many benefits, you know.. no peaks and valleys.. :)

The interesting thing is that some things seem to happen when you're not trying and when you least suspect it.. and sometimes things happen when you first try something new (because the mind hasn't had a chance to get in there yet). Or perhaps it is a ricochet effect from 2 years of solid practices coming to fruition? Who knows..

:)
TI




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Tibetan_Ice

Canada
758 Posts

Posted - Nov 23 2009 :  11:35:27 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi :)
This is an update.
For my regular practices, I'm all over the place right now. I'm split between sensing the inner body and just letting go (because it activates the kundalini), doing mantra repetition, watching my thoughts or just following the mantra to the bright light at the center of my head, or practicing the Dyhan Yogi style "OM one, Om two.." style meditation.
When I do Dhyan Yogi's meditation I see Anandi Ma's face. When I do I AM meditation, afterwards I feel like I've been hit by a truck or just woken up from a very deep sleep. When I do "sensing the inner body" meditation, my kundalini becomes too intense (but I still like this one, but I feel like I have to do some kind of concentration discipline and self inquiry too).

It's quite a problem. However, I think I've found something I love a lot, at least right now!

I found this ebook today called "Merging With Siva" and started reading about the nadis, (tinnitus - if that is what that is), and how it can be used to balance ida and pingala. It is, as far as I can tell, a wonderful ebook and has anwered so many of my questions. I love these celibate Hawaiian monks, even though I don't know them! I can feel that they have good energy.

The main idea is this:
quote:

As the pingala force becomes quieted and regulated, you will hear a ringing about an inch above the right ear. This is the sound of the nerve current of the pingala nadi. And as the ida force becomes quieted and regulated, you will hear a ringing about an inch above the left ear. This is the nerve sound of the ida nadi, slightly different from the tone of the pingala nadi. The direction of energy flow in the pingala nadi is up, whereas the ida nadi flows downward. When the energy in the two nadis is balanced, a circle is formed, creating a force field in which the sushumna nadi is regulated.



Here is the link:
http://www.himalayanacademy.com/res...s_ch-38.html

Anyway, this is what I did for my afternoon meditation today:

1) Prayers: one minute
2) Breath of Fire: one minute
3) Spinal Breathing: five minutes or so using "OM NAMAH SHIVAYA" as a four-second-timer mantra breathing in and then out. One second pause between ins and outs.
4) Listen to the ringing in my ears, try to balance them and then see what I could see. (note: I was not sitting in full lotus, nor was I regulating my breathing. I was sitting straight on a chair and just let the breath go).

The ringing is always louder in my left ear. I listened to it. According to that link above, you have to listen to the sound (nadis) in both ears and if they are not equal, you have to balance them out. Because I could not really hear the ringing in my right ear very well, I focused on relaxing the right side of my body. That worked!

I started listening intently to both at the same time. I like this because intense listening stills the mind, produces silence/stillness and I'm very good at that from being a musician since I was five.

Then it happened. I don't know where I went of what I did, but all of a sudden it was like someone turned on a light. I was confused. I thought I was meditating, how could a light be going on? Then I looked ahead and saw an outline of my form coming back to my body from a brilliant white light straight ahead of me and slightly off to the left.

Then my timer went off. I was confused. I thought I had set the timer for 35 minutes, and it felt like I had just started the meditation.

I was very confused. I was dazed. Most of what I am recounting is being recalled, or rather, I have no idea where I went or what happened. I think I went into the light because it looked like I was returning from the light. I don't know for sure. It was like the events were separate and disjoint and may not have been in that order.

I don't understand. I mean, during the meditation, I was just listening to the ringing sounds in both ears. My mind was very silent and I was listening intently. Then, wham, I'm coming out of the light and the meditation is over. Total blank.. Hmmm.

The very interesting thing is that this is what I was trying to do and I didn't even get to the "seeing an arc" or anything. (from the "Merging With Shiva" ebook link above):
quote:

Now, to bring the sushumna force into power, listen to both tones simultaneously. It may take you about five minutes to hear both tones at the same time. Next, follow both tonal vibrations from the ears into the center of the cranium, where they will meet and blend into a slightly different sound, as two notes, say, a "C" and an "E," blend into a chord. The energy of the nadis is then flowing in a circle, and you will enter the golden yellow light of the sushumna current. Play with this light and bask in its radiance, for in it is your bloom. The unfoldment progresses from a golden yellow to a clear white light. Should you see a blue light, know that you are in the pingala current. If you see a pink light, that is the color of the ida. Just disregard them and seek for the white light in the tone of the combined currents until finally you do not hear the tone anymore and you burst into the clear white light. Thus you enter savikalpa samadhi -- samadhi with seed, or consciousness, which is the culmination of this particular practice of contemplation.



I think I was in savikalpa samadhi!!!! :) :) :)

This is what I mean about "the very first time I try something it often works!

I'm definately going to be trying this practice again.

Om Shanti
:)
TI

Please note: The practices described here are not standard AYP practices, and I consider myself to be an experienced long term meditator who likes to try many things. If you are a beginner, I recommend whole heartedly embracing the AYP methodology because it will give you a solid base and understanding from which to build on.
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Tibetan_Ice

Canada
758 Posts

Posted - Dec 18 2009 :  12:02:06 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi :)
These are words of wisdom:
link: http://www.himalayanacademy.com/res...s_ch-28.html

quote:

Sunday
LESSON 196
The Self Never Changes

When you begin to sense this changeless existence within, your intuition begins to awaken, and if you function through the use of your intuition you are able to clear many misunderstandings about the experiences of life. In this clarity, intuition is born. Right now you perhaps think you are the mind; you may feel remote from your Inner Being, but ask yourself each time you think you have found yourself, will this change? You will find that every image you hold of yourself is subject to change -- even your soul, or your superconscious mind, is subject to change through evolution and, therefore, is impermanent. Only the Self, the very core, is eternally the same, eternally Real. Find your Inner Being through feeling; realize it is closer to you than your hands or feet, closer to you even than your breath. Your mind will want to leave this consciousness as soon as you attain it, but gently guide your mind back through the channel of concentration until once again you become rejuvenated, uplifted in the awareness of That which has never changed. That is your very Self, and That is God.

Jnanaguru Yogaswami said, "Search without searching." By this he meant that as long as we are searching for God in meditation, there are two -- God and the seeker. He did not mean that we should stop looking for God, stop meditating or stop striving and live an ordinary life or give up sadhana. He was saying that to deepen your meditation, while seated in the lotus position, doing pranayama, to deepen this state, stop looking and begin to realize that you are That which you are looking for. As long as there is searching, Parasiva has not been found, for searching is two, and It is one. But you must keep searching until It is found. How to attain That? Satguru Yogaswami said, "Stop looking, and just be." Give up consciousness which is seeing and registering that which has been seen. Become the sound, nada; just be and merge into the Ultimate Quiet. When the disciple is on the brink of the Absolute, the timeless Parasiva, twoness disappears in the overpowering presence of Siva, and consciousness is absorbed and annihilated in His transcendental Being, which is nondifferent from the disciple's. However, if the disciple continues looking for this experience and thus, in the act of his search, solidifies himself and the sought-after experience as two different things, he becomes the obstacle and the problem to be eliminated. In the end, the Great Mystery is known as one, as two, as neither one nor two.



AUM NAMAH SIVAYA

:)
TI
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Tibetan_Ice

Canada
758 Posts

Posted - Dec 20 2009 :  3:43:20 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi :)
So where am I at now?
I was doing this for a routine:
- Prayers
- Breath of Fire (bhastrika)
- Spinal Breathing
- Meditation (mantra repetition but seeking the source, finding the light and then focusing on the light)

Since changing my meditation from directly "sensing the inner body" to focusing on the light, the kundalini energy seems to have refined, it became a kind of thick misty type energy that feels very fine and produces a kind of pillar or column of energy going upwards. There is not so much ecstasy anymore, or rather, it doesn't feel like sexual energy anymore. Hmm.. It is a thick palpable type of whitish flow.

Then I started getting into the light more and more. There are three areas of light now. One at the top of my head, one in the center of my head and one that appears in the frontal area above the brow. As the day draws to a close, I sit on my recliner and look at the lights in my head.

After reading about Gurudeva's (Hawaiin monk at this link: http://www.himalayanacademy.com/res..._author.html ) suggestion to control the breathing by inhaling for a count of nine, hold for one, exhale to a count of nine and hold for one, I decided to try that (two days ago). After 10 minutes of breathing like that, the effect was that I felt like I had come out of a very deep meditation. The world glistened! It was like being in an extended satori. It was too easy. I wondered if maybe that timing(9191) is how one should be performing spinal breathing. I've ordered Norman Paulsen's "Sacred Science" book (and the Christ Consciousness book too).

The other thing that took me by surprise (two days ago) was that as I performed the Breath of Fire (bhastrika), a blueish light appeared in the brow region. As I continued, the light got brighter and brighter. I ended up just doing the whole meditation looking at that light. It was kind of disconcerting to me that bhastrika could have such an effect. It was like I had been possessed and I didn't want to stop the rapid breathing. Each breath was making the blueish light brighter. I felt I had to stop because it seemed like I was going through a type of addiction-reaction. Breathe, see the light, another rapid breath, see the light etc. It made me not want to stop, like something possessed me, like I had lost control, like I was a child who had discovered a bathtub of candy and one shouldn't really eat that much candy.

I think I'm realizing that controlling the breath is an effective way to still the mind, produce satori states that last a long time and manifest the light. This is kind of disturbing to me. I did not meditate at all yesterday. I have some kind of ingrained fear of realizing that I've found some keys and now I'm scared to open the door.

Yet, even without meditating yesterday (first time in years), it was a magical day. I read all about Richard Bartlett's Matrix Energetics, how they 'drop down into the heartspace' and then function from there. I'm wondering if the heartspace is what Kirtanman, Shanti, Christi and others have opened up to... Bartlett says that once you build this heartspace around you you can bring it with you all throughout the day.

I spent the whole day researching Matrix Energetics and even ordered three of the recent books. I guess I have a particular interest in healing and learning how quantum physics might explain time travel. The part about Matrix Energetics that interests me is going back in time, finding the outcome that is desirable, intending that outcome to manifest and then letting go of that one. Then, magically, the present becomes a manifestation of the new chosen outcome. There are fantastic Matrix Energetics stories about healing broken limbs that way. Here is one example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMzS4STXHs0

Then, to end off the day, I started watching TV (yuk!) which is something I do rarely. I watched "Star Trek- Insurrection". It was an episode about how 600 inhabitants of a magical rejuvinating planet were to be moved from the planet so development of the planet's rejuvinating essence could be mined and exploited. At one point in the show, Jean Luc Picard meets a beautiful 300 year old woman who is definately enlightened and can stop time. At one point in the show she slows down time to show Jean Luc. Then later, Jean Luc also slows down time through his feeling of love for this woman. The implication was that the heart/love can slow/stop time.

On the other channel, I was also watching "The Never Ending Story". I had seen it before but it is a great story. The main message I got from it is that "imagination/dreaming/hope/fantasy" are very important parts of life. Funny how the two shows that I ended up watching conveyed the importance of the heart space and imagination. :)

All in all it was a magical kind of day. It was one of those days where you feel like living is only a dream and that there is some higher power manifesting events in the day to resonate that fact.

:)
TI

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Tibetan_Ice

Canada
758 Posts

Posted - Dec 20 2009 :  6:47:00 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi, :)
Well, this is very interesting. For this morning's meditation I did this:
-Prayers
-Breath of Fire
-Spinal Breathing (1919)
-Meditation on the heart space.

For the Meditation, I dropped my awareness into the heart space. I repeated the mantra "HUM", which is suggested by the "The Clear Light of Bliss" book for focusing on the indestructable drop in the heart.

I have done heart meditations before where you focus on the white/blue indestructable drop in the heart chakra. When I turned my awareness down towards the heart, I noticed that there is a space around the heart/lower abdomen. This time, instead of trying to concentrate on that one location in the heart, I decided to focus on the whole spacey area instead.

The first thing I noticed is that there is a space that extends from the centre of the body in a kind of large circle, encompassing the body. It was not really any effort to find it or to focus on it. You just relax a lot, and point or shift your attention downwards into the center of your body at your heart/solar plexus. But don't restrict your attention just to the heart area. The whole area seems to start at the navel and goes up to the throat.

The space that exists there is similar to the space that occurs when, during "sensing in the inner body", you pass through the sleep stage and your body falls away revealing this kind of dark space where slices of luminescent parts your body/being exist. However, the space is not really dark. There is darkness but you can also see some lights/things in there. I did not try to focus on the light or the shapes, I was more interested in just remaining in the quiet part of the space.

It was a very easy meditation, relaxing and somewhat silent. The mantra part of it just went on and was easily ignored, just something for the mind to do.

The heart space is clear, luminescent and silent.. very peaceful. It doesn't seem to have any boundaries. It is a very large space and at the same time, very small.

At one point, as I shifted my attention backwards to point to "me", I noticed that what I thought was the body was in fact this huge empty shell of an outline of a body. It felt like the body had grown to a giant size but was really only a shell of a body. It was kind of neat! My body had become a sphinx, just sitting there, nothing in it, an empty statue of clay.. I went back and forth from noticing the heart space to looking back at the body. The gigantic body was easily visible and did not disappear.

The ringer went off all too soon and took me surprise. That was a very fast enjoyable 35 minutes!


:)
TI

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Tibetan_Ice

Canada
758 Posts

Posted - Jan 03 2010 :  8:06:53 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi :)
Perhaps the most memorable experience that I have had during the last few weeks was the expansion of the sushumna and discovering that I could send my awareness up and down the sushumna rather than from an exterior perspective. I wrote about that at this post: http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=6916

During the last few weeks I have been drawn more towards Awareness Watching Awareness and the Heart Space.
The Awareness Watching Awareness practice that got me going on this is from "Merging With Siva" by Gurudeva:
link: http://www.himalayanacademy.com/res...s_ch-43.html

quote:

To attain and sustain kaif is a simple practice. You pull awareness out of the thought processes. You pull awareness out of the emotion processes. You pull awareness out of the bodily processes, and you're just completely on that pinnacle of being aware of being aware. That's so necessary to practice every day, even if you do it for a split second.

The experience of kaif can be attained by anyone on the face of the Earth, at least for a split second, because it's so easy to be aware of being aware. To hold that experience and to stabilize the physical and emotional elements long enough to hold that intensity for even a minute takes more practice -- not too much, but consistent practice. To maintain kaif for two minutes requires more effort, more will, more dedication to the life of sadhana. Five minutes requires more. That's the test.



What happened to me the first time I tried this was interesting.. As I detached from mind/emotions/body and kept blankly looking through my eyes, I noticed a welcome silence. It was very easy to me. As I persisted in this state I started to fall asleep, which surprised me. As I transcended the sleep barrier, my kundalini became active and I experienced a flow of thick misty type of energy rising up and enveloping me. The whole session turned into an ecstatic conductivity experience. This occured after about 20 minutes of practice while sitting at my desk.

A few days ago it occured to me that the lights in my head and the one in heart were also the same kind of 'colorful light' and texture. I had been spending time investigating the Heart Space, due to Richard Bartlett's "Physics of Miracles" book and I came up with the idea that the light of consciousness is what I was now pushing up and down the sushumna. I was also noticing that the light in my heart region was becoming more pronounced..

Yesterday I kind of missed the intensity of the light in my head so I did a meditation of repeating "I AM" and seeking the source of the thought from the top of the head. Yup. That brought the light in my head back to shining brightly. It's like a whole other world opens up, a world of colorful cartoons. I also noticed that this light is the same texture as the light in my heart space..

Last night, after reading Robert Adams' satsang advice (link: http://itisnotreal.com/Collected_Wo...ms_Vol_1.pdf ) to seek the source of the "I AM" and his suggestion to sync the "I" with the in-breath and the "AM" with the out-breath I decided to try that as I sat on my recliner. I also focused on the heart where I now know the "I" is coming from..

Well, surprise surprise! After only a few minutes of casually performing this routine, my leg kicked all by itself. Then, a few minutes later, my arm jolted. Then, my left side jumped.. It was very amusing. The jolts occured more frequently as the meditation progressed. It was sort of like I was experiencing kriyas of some sort.. like I was plugged into an electric chair and someone was playing with the switch.. I thought of emc and manigma and wondered, my god!, I can't imagine having a full blown episode of this out in public!.. :) Kriyas must come from the heart..?

Today, I'm still trying to stablize in the source of the "I AM" in the heart. I also found a great motivator: "The Million Dollar Question of Nondual Yoga Vedanta Meditation" at this link: http://www.swamij.com/podcast.htm I decided to continue seeking the source of the "I" in the Heart Space.

So, for practice I did prayers, Bhastrika, Spinal Breathing and then meditation. For the meditation, I repeated "I" on the in-breath and "AM" on the out-breath. I also tried not to pause between breaths. Every time I repeated the "I", I tried to feel/focus on where it exists in my heart. This was kind of easy since there is a ball of colored light in my heart region (which kind of feels like it is more on the left than the right?? I think I'm out of balance...).

As my meditation continued the light and colors from the Heart Space became more intense and pronounced. Actually, they were the same texture and just as colorful as the light at the top of the head just bigger and more 'in your face'. In comparison, the light at the brow seems like moonlight..

All of a sudden I was looking at this very colorful orange flame. The flame was moving about and dancing around. It was delicious! I loved it. When I realized that I was watching the flame dance I wondered what it could be. I wondered if it was burning my karma. I also wondered if it was RAM. I continued watching the flame and at one point it kind of faded out but then it came back as I re-focused on the heart space. Thinking too much or reacting caused the flame to become obscured. I wonder if I was looking at the manipura chakra's flame from the heart space..

After the meditation was over, for some reason I was very happy. I felt light and blissful. I kind of danced around the living room and kitchen.

:)
TI

Note: The practices here are not standard AYP practices. If you are starting out I would suggest following the AYP lessons from the beginning..
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